


another group chat fic for voltorb??!??

by Osomatsus



Series: The Saga Continues - a voltron mixtape [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A Lot of Gay, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Asexual Character, Attempt at Humor, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Cowboy Keith (Voltron), Dorks in Love, F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, First Kiss, Gen, Getting Together, Group chat, How Do I Tag, Human Shay (Voltron), Humor, Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Keith panics, Lance is a Meme, Light Angst, M/M, Memes, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Pining Shiro (Voltron), Sassy Pidge | Katie Holt, Shiro is sick, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Space Mom Allura (Voltron), This Is STUPID, a good old holt wager, a lot of break ups, and shay is a goddess, break ups, gentle klance, hunk is whipped, i love bandwagon, is this how i get into the fandom, matt yeets, shay is a darling, shiro is a little bitch, shiro is bad at relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-02-01 06:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 105
Words: 78,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12698946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Osomatsus/pseuds/Osomatsus
Summary: Sharpshooter has changed keith.k ‘s name to queef.





	1. the dawn of a new day

**Author's Note:**

> WE HAVE REACHED 69420 THE LEGACY IS ALIVE AND WELL YALL
> 
> anyway while i have ur attention im doing writing commissions because im (hopefully) getting surgery in december!! i need quite a bit of money and im currently on the hunt for a job  
> basically its 1$ / 100 words, but we can talk price deals depending on how long you wants the fics to be.  
> let me know if youre interested!  
> my twitter is @appie_pi and my tumblr is @mattdress  
> i also have discord if that tickles your fancy

_ Sharpshooter has added keith.k, pidgerino, tshirogane, hunkindonuts, Allurable to **take me to funky town.** _

 

**Sharpshooter:** what is good my dudes and princess?

**tshirogane:** Lance, what is this?

 

_ pidgerino has changed the chat name to **take me to flavor town.** _

 

**hunkindonuts:** thanks, i hate it

**Sharpshooter:** i like the way u think pidge

**pidgerino:** thanks i got it from my dad

**Allurable:** Shouldn’t you all be in classes?

**pidgerino** : idk shouldnt you be???

**Allurable:** ....Maybe so.

 

**tshirogane:** You all need to get to class.

**Sharpshooter:** not until keith logs in

**keith.k:** what do you want from me?

 

_ Sharpshooter has changed keith.k ‘s name to queef. _

 

**queef:** CHANGE IT BACK LANCE

**Sharpshooter:** nah im good lmfao

**pidgerino:** oh man do you really not know how to change it back?

**hunkindonuts:** i’d feel bad, but this is really funny

**tshirogane:** What’s a queef?

**pidgerino:** why are the broganes so internet illiterate

**queef:** lance i will count to 10 and if my name is still queef i will kill you with my pinini

**Sharpshooter:** a good way to die

**tshirogane:** That’s enough of that. Get back to class, guys.

**Sharpshooter:** o would ye look at the time aye gotta get back tae class er shiro is gonna fuck me up yeah?

**pidgerino:** wow what a coinkidink!!!

**hunkindonuts:** yup i suddenly gotta go too, wow

**Sharpshooter:** bye @queef

**queef:** l a n c e


	2. shiro it was one rule

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> will keith get his name changed back? we'll never know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is a little longer im sorry the first chapter was so short

_ 4:37 _

**take me to flavor town**

 

**queef:** lance i will murder your family

**Sharpshooter:** bet

**tshirogane:** Boys.

**pidgerino:** oh shit its the dad voice

**tshirogane:** Pidge.

**hunkindonuts:** hunk!

**tshirogane:** And Hunk. Enough bickering. Be civil about this if you are going to be civil about anything… please.

**Allurable:** Bet.

**tshirogane:** Allura, this isn’t the time to adapt to Lance’s way of English.

**Sharpshooter:** r00d, its my second language :( i dont know any better

**queef:** lance change my name back

**Sharpshooter:** cant lol sry pal

**queef:** pidge

**pidgerino:** sorry my brother is calling me gtg

**queef:** hunk

**hunkindonuts:** sorry i have… a date.

**queef:** stop lying

**tshirogane:** Somebody change his name back before he throws a tantrum, please?

  
  


_ 4:49 _

**keith.k > Sharpshooter**

 

**keith.k:** lance change it back

**Sharpshooter:** woah u care enough to dm me yikes ur really mad huh

  
  


_ 5:12 _

**Sharpshooter > keith.k**

 

**Sharpshooter:** fine ill change it

  
  


_ 5:17 _

**take me to flavor town**

 

_ Sharpshooter changed queef ‘s name to spacecowboy _

 

**Sharpshooter:** there

**spacecowboy:** you know what i meant cut the shit

**tshirogane:** What did I just say?

**hunkindonuts:** so guys can i add my friend to this shes really cool and said she knows pidge?

**pidgerino:** ask her for the password

**hunkindonuts:** she said “did pidge ask that?”

**pidgerino:** let her in

 

_ hunkindonuts added balmerina to  _ **_take me to flavor town_ **

 

**balmerina:** hey guys! :)

**pidgerino:** wasssup new buddy

**balmerina:** oh! by the way i’m shay! i’m hunk’s partner in physics class.

**Allurable:** Hello Shay! I’m Allura… pardon me if I’m wrong, but I believe our families work together in business trade, right?

**balmerina:** !! yes we do! wow, it’s such a relief knowing that i’m friends with several people here already!

**hunkindonuts:** its super cool!

  
  


_ 5:34 _

**Sharpshooter > hunkindonuts**

 

**Sharpshooter:** how whipped?

**hunkindonuts:** yes.

**Sharpshooter:** hunk my buddy my bro

**hunkindonuts:** you have no idea how sweet she is lance i swear.

**Sharpshooter:** ask her out bro this is legit

**hunkindonuts:** lance we just met each other at the beginning of the school year. She just moved here.

**Sharpshooter:** i think thats long enough idk fam at least give it a shot

**hunkindonuts:** someday.

  
  


_ 5:40 _

**take me to flavor town**

 

**pidgerino:** speaking of adding people i got a rule here

**Sharpshooter:** this is   m y   c h a t   you cant make rules

**pidgerino:** either u make the rule matt cant be here or i do lance its your choice

**tshirogane:** Wait, why can’t we add Matt?

**pidgerino:** his meme game weak bruh

**tshirogane:** His meme game is great, Pidge.

**pidgerino:** thats because youve dealt with it for so many years that its ur meme game too shiro

**Sharpshooter:** toasted grilled burnt to a crisp

**Allurable:** Shiro, you’re doing amazing sweetie!

 

_ tshirogane added mattack  _ **_take me to flavor town_ **

 

**pidgerino:** we had one rule

**pidgerino:** one

**pidgerino:** (1)

**pidgerino:** one rule

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cant live without matt holt :0


	3. in front of MY salad?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

_ 5:43 _

**take me to flavor town**

 

**mattack:** it is wednesday my dudes

**tshirogane:** It is Thursday.

**pidgerino:** shiro you did this to us

**pidgerino:** you ruined the good of this chat

**hunkindonuts:** what good is there when lance and pidge are in the same place?

**Sharpshooter:** HUNK?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

**Allurable:** Toasted, grilled, burnt to a crisp.

**spacecowboy:** and here we see lance in his natural habitat: pain

**Sharpshooter:** wow after all i did for u keith

**spacecowboy:** you changed my name to ‘queef’

**Sharpshooter:** speaking of

 

_ Sharpshooter changed spacecowboy ‘s name to queef2.0. _

 

**queef2.0:** l a n c e

**Sharpshooter:** yeah babe :*

**queef2.0:** die

**tshirogane:** Will you two knock it off?

**mattack:** yeah listen to ur daddy

**tshirogane:** Matthew.

**Allurable:** So your name IS Matthew and not Mattington!

**pidgerino:** wait did u actually believe him?

**balmerina:** mattington.

 

_ pidgerino changed mattack ‘s name to mattington. _

 

_ mattington changed his name to mattress. _

 

**mattress:** quality

**tshirogane:** That name sounds like the name of a seductive sorceress.

**pidgerino:** or a mattress

**Sharpshooter:** that you sleep on

**hunkindonuts:** shiro? 

**queef2.0:** i heard his sigh from my bedroom

**queef2.0:** wait he just came in

**queef2.0:** “you better not be live-texting this”

**Sharpshooter:** keith oofmg

**queef2.0:** “ill make sure lance never changes your name back from queef”

**queef2.0:** lance im doing this for entertainment change it back quick

 

_ Sharpshooter changed queef2.0 ‘s name to kagome _

 

**mattress:** inoyasha!!!!

**Sharpshooter:** kagome!!!!!!!!!

**kagome:** bye lance

 

_ kagome removed Sharpshooter from  _ **_take me to flavor town_ ** _. _

 

_ balmerina changed the chat name to  _ **_take me to church_ ** _. _

 

**balmerina:** church is free!

  
  


_ 5:56 _

**tshirogane > keith.k**

 

**tshirogane:** Keith, if you spill this, you will go find another Brogane.

**keith.k:** shiro wait how serious is this

**tshirogane:** Kind of a lot.

**keith.k:** woah now im not ready for that kind of responsibility

**tshirogane:** I’m not entrusting you with the taxes, calm down.

**tshirogane:** It’s about Matt.

**keith.k:** weve been over this go bone him?

**tshirogane:** Stop.

**keith.k:** you know you want to

**tshirogane:** Keith.

**keith.k:** shiro.

**tshirogane:** I’m not going to bone him. But I am gonna ask him to come over.

**keith.k:** oh shit one step further in the realm of fuck

**tshirogane:** But you need to keep your trap shut about it. It’s not a date. We are hanging out.

**keith.k:** have you even asked him to come over?

  
  


_ 5:59 _

**tshirogane > mattack**

 

**tshirogane:** Matt, I have to ask you something.

**mattack:** yes

**tshirogane:** No, just. Wait. Let me ask first.

**tshirogane:** Would you like to come over and hang out for a while? Tonight or tomorrow. Whichever works best for you, at least. I don’t have work until Sunday.

**mattack:** nani kore?!?

**tshirogane:** うるさい、バカ。

**mattack:** shiro im offended

**mattack:** but also ill be there in like 20 minutes

**tshirogane:** what

 

_ 6:02 _

**tshirogane > keith.k**

 

**tshirogane:** He’s coming over, I’m ordering take out.

**keith.k:** youre ordering chinese food when this is a house of a japanese man and a half japanese half korean man

**keith.k:** fake chinese food

  
  


_ 6:03 _

_ keith.k added Sharpshooter, pidgerino, hunkindonuts to  _ **_shiro is gay._ **

 

_ Sharpshooter changed the chat name to  _ **_Shiro is pansexual_ ** _. _

 

_ keith.k changed the chat name to  _ **_shiro is gay_ **

 

**keith.k:** shiro is pining after matt?

**Sharpshooet:** he has been since they met

**keith.k:** yeah but this time its real and hes making moves

**hunkindonuts:** aww

**pidgerino:** if i hear about shiro having. intercourse. with matt i will never talk to either of them again

**Sharpshooter:** hey we dont kinkshame

 

_ hunkindonuts changed the chat name to  _ **_anti-kinkshaming shiro party_ **

 

**hunkingdonuts:** we are good people here.

**Sharpshooter:** this is why were best friends

**pidgerino:** unbelieveable

**hunkindonuts:** keith, what made you gather us here other than the obvious fact that shiro is completely whipped?

**keith.k:** matts coming over

**pidgerino:** HE LIED TO ME

  
  
  
  
  
  


_ 6:38 _

**take me to church**

 

**hunkindonuts:** why are we all dead

**pidgerino:** free choice

**hunkindonuts:** oh wait... _  
_

 

_ hunkindonuts added Sharpshooter to  **take me to church.** _

 

**hunkindonuts:** there we go.

**kagome:** shiro got chinese take out

**Allurable:** Aren’t you both Japanese?

**kagome:** im half korean too

**Allurable:** Right.

**Sharpshooter:** wheres shiro at tho

**kagome:** ill tell you if you change my name to keith

**Sharpshooter:** done

 

_ Sharpshooter changed kagome ‘s name to kieth. _

 

**kieth:** fuck you

**Sharpshooter:** youd want to ;)

**kieth:** die

 

_ hunkindonuts changed Sharpshooter ‘s name to i love keith _

 

**i love keith:** hunk,

**hunkindonuts:** :)

**balmerina:** how sweet <3

**i love keith:** i hate

**pidgerino:** gays???? in front of my good christian hunk???????

**hunkindonuts:** and in front of my salad??

**balmerina:** unacceptable.

**i love keith:** im bi tho

**kieth:** and im anti-lance-sexual

**pidgerino:** all these lies all this slander oh my geez

**balmerina:** geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezz…

**hunkindonuts:** geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.

**balmerina:** geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.

 

_ hunkindonuts is typing… _

 

**i love keith:** okay i get it

**pidgerino:** geez.


	4. how many biggies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tn: keikaku means plan

_ 2:32 _

**take me to church**

 

**hunkindonuts:** by the way lance, i have a question?

**i love keith:** yeah

**i love keith:**  wait,

**i love keith:** hold that thought

 

_ i love keith changed their name to Sharpshooter. _

 

**hunkindonuts:** YEAH, so like, why is your name sharp shooter exactly?

**Sharpshooter:** because my aim is impeccable

**pidgerino:** you won one game of laser tag and it was by 200 points only

**Sharpshooter:** 200 is a high number

**pidgerino:** thats only 2 more hits

**Sharpshooter:** 2 more hits than u got

**mattress:** toasted grilled burnt to a crisp

**pidgerino:** matt i thought we were friends :(

**mattress:** ur my sister we arent friends we are comrades fighting for a common cause

**Sharpshooter:** whats ur cause

**mattress:** robots at the table

**pidgerino:** robots at the table

**hunkindonuts:** why do you need robots at the table?

**hunkindonuts:** that’s where the food goes…

**pidgerino:** to pass me the salt

**mattress:** how else will i get a napkin

**tshirogane:** You’re both awful.

**mattress:** if i dont fight for my right then soon i wont be allowed google glasses at the table

**kieth:** you bought,

**Sharpshooter:** google glasses

**mattress:** false

**tshirogane:** He made them.

**pidgerino:** dad was mad because he broke the capitalist system

**pidgerino:** mom told him to capitalize off the idea

**pidgerino:** and matt was offended that they didnt even acknowledge his genius anymore

**mattress:** its not fun if its typical

**Sharpshooter:** i would pay to have a holt brain shut the fuck up

**mattress:** how much will u pay me for my brain

**tshirogane:** Matthew.

**mattress:** Takashi.

**tshirogane:** h

  
  


_ 2:54 _

**anti-kinkshaming shiro party**

 

**keith.k:** whipped?

**Sharpshooter:** whipped.

  
  


_ 2:57 _

_ pidgerino added tshirogane, mattack to  _ **_does lance is gay?_ **

 

 **pidgerino:** youre probably wondering why ive gathered u here today my comrades

 **mattack:** salute comrade

**tshirogane:** Does Lance is bi?

**pidgerino:**  pFH

**mattack:** cut out that proper typing its just me n k8

**tshirogane:** fine

**pidgerino:** shiro? normal? in my christian chat?

**mattack:** LMFAO u dont even kno him

 **pidgerino:** but he goes here??

 **tshirogane:** i g o here

**pidgerino:** anyway keith and lance. Discuss.

**mattack:** 5$ keith has a shrine 2 lance

**pidgerino:** 5$ lance has one for keith

**tshirogane:** $10 says they both have one for each other

**mattack:** im talking digital shrine are we all on the same page?

**tshirogane:** yup

**pidgerino:** yeehaw 

 

_ mattack changed pidgerino ‘s name to Texan!Pidge _

 

**Texan!Pidge:** WH

 

_ Texan!Pidge changed mattack ‘s name to boutta lose 5$ _

 

**boutta lose 5$:** wow,

**tshirogane:** lol

 

_ Texan!Pidge changed tshirogane ‘s name to OUT 10 BIGGIES _

 

**boutta lose 5$:** 10 what  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Texan!Pidge:** 10 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) whole ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) biggies ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **OUT 10 BIGGIES:** no

 **boutta lose $5:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

_ boutta lose $5 changed OUT 10 BIGGIES ‘s name to desukun _

_ boutta lose $5 changed their name to howdy _

_ boutta lose $5 changed Texan!Pidge ‘s name to yeehaw _

 

**desukun:** so keith and lance are whipped

**yeehaw:** yee(haw)

**howdy:** yaint ready to lose $$

 

_ desukun changed their name to keikaku _

 

**howdy:** translators note: keikaku means plan

**yeehaw:** tn: keikaku means plan

**howdy:** w8 k8 why did we let him in on a good ol hot (holt bet)

**yeehaw:** a H o t.

**howdy:**  A HOT.

 **howdy:** no but like what if we both lose and the holts are out 40 biggies

 **yeehaw:** darn?

**keikaku:** all according to keikaku

**howdy:** djjdjfjfjjfjsfjslf SHIRo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is shiro right?? is pidge right??? is matt losing money no matter what he does?? probably  
> youll find out eventually if they have shrines for each other  
> also lance spent years training to attain the abilities he has at laser tag


	5. WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> is this a pigeon??

_ 9:30 _

**hunkindonuts > Sharpshooter**

 

**hunkindonuts:** shay made me get a snap so we could send pics.

**Sharpshooter:** HUNK

**hunkindonuts:** I KNOW!

**Sharpshooter:** u sendin dicc piccs

**hunkindonuts:** n o t  those kinds of pics,

**Sharpshoote:** *yet

**hunkindonuts:** no.

  
  


_ 9:33 _

**hunkindonuts > balmerina**

 

**hunkindonuts:** hey i have a question for you.

**balmerina:** shoot!

**hunkindonuts:** what are you planning on doing next week while we have school off?

**balmerina:** uhm? stay home probably. my family doesnt celebrate thanksgiving since, yknow

**hunkindonuts:** yeah! i mean. not yeah as in yeah genocide, i mean yeah as in i get what youre saying.

**hunkindonuts:** my family doesnt really celebrate either. my family thinks its weird that people spend a day dedicated to eating a lot.

**hunkindonuts:** because we always eat a lot.

**hunkindonuts:** clearly.

**balmerina:** hehe :) yeah, but its not a bad thing!

**balmerina:** anyway! what was your question?

**balmerina:** unless you are just wondering what im doing next week

**hunkindonuts:** oh! i wanted to ask if you wanted to hang out?

**balmerina:** sure!! id love to!

**hunkindonuts:** cool. we can talk about it when it gets closer and plan stuff out.

**balmerina:** right on hunker.

  
  


_ 9:48 _

**hunkindonuts > Sharpshooter**

 

**hunkindonuts:** shay and i are gonna hang out over the break im hype?

**Sharpshooter:** NICE

 

_ 4:28 _

**take me to church**

 

**kieth:** yelk

**mattress:** wtf its 4am

**tshirogane:** matt put the phone away

**mattress:** ssshirorrieooeoseodsoflsvcvcxnvnnvc,cx

**tshirogane:** confiscated.

**tshirogane:** go to bed keith.

 

_ 6:46 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** what the actual fuck?

 

_ 6:47 _

**anti-kinkshaming shiro party**

 

**Sharpshooter:** did shiro and matt sleep together????

 

_ 7:28 _

**take me to church**

 

**hunkindonuts:** oh.

**pidgerino:** oh.

**kieth:** oh.

**Allurable:** oh.

**balmerina:** oh.

 

_ 7:53 _

**anti-kinkshaming shiro party**

 

**pidgerino:** oh

**hunkindonuts:** oh

**Sharpshooter:** keith???

**keith.k:** i had no idea he was here??

**keith.k:** wait,

**Sharpshooter:** huh

**keith.k:** shiro left me a note on the counter???

_ (keith.k: 1 image) _

**pidgerino:** HWAT

**pidgerino:** gtg im running back upstairs

**Sharpshooter:** waIT PIDGE

**pidgerino:** im aware i might see a schlong or two

**Sharpshooter:** no. film it

**pidgerino:** even better idea

 

_ 8:00 _

**anti-kinkshaming shiro party**

 

_ (pidgerino: 1 video) _

**Sharpshooter:** jdklafjldsajfdsalfdsl

**Sharpshooter:** YOU RECREATED MY FAVORITE VINE

**pidgerino:** its times like these where i am forever glad that matt has a loft bed

**keith.k:** what do you sleep on?

**Sharpshooter:** stop this is a group question

 

_ 8:05 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** what kind of bed does everybody sleep on its important

**pidgerino:** the new mbti

**Allurable:** a normal queen size

**kieth:** a? bed.

**hunkindonuts:** same keith

**mattress:** finally a topic my name correlates to

**mattress:** i have a loft bed

**pidgerino:** i have one of those beds with all the drawers under it because i need all the storage i can get

**tshirogane:** me too. but mine has a door and its empty underneath.

**Sharpshooter:** w h a t ?

_ (tshirogane: 1 image) _

**pidgerino:** cursed underbelly

**Sharpshooter:** anyway i sleep on a bunk bed

**balmerina:** oh oh!!! Oh! i have a water bed

**Allurable:** Why would you Ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isnt what i want it to be
> 
> also im gonna be real with you guys  
> im here for the meme content because i have no plot  
> im sorry  
> i hope u like memes as well because this is slowburn plot developing but i wanna pick things up idk how tho lmao good luck!


	6. operation.... shiro and matt did what???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> let the investigation begin

_ 10:17 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** wait i just noticed shiro broke character

**kieth:** what character

**Sharpshooter:** hes not using caps OR punctuation

**Sharpshooter:** we broke the dadsona

**Allurable:** Only the strong will remain at the top.

**Sharpshooter:** words of wisdom from the queen herself im bless

**kieth:** dam

**tshirogane:** get to class guys what are you doing

**Sharpshooter:** suffering ™

**tshirogane:** shoo!

 

_ 11:49 _

**pidgerino > mattack**

 

**pidgerino:** howdy pardner i got a question for yew ta answer when yer up an moving

**pidgerino:** what was shirogane takashi doing in your bed last night

 

_ 11:53 _

**anti-kinkshaming shiro party**

 

_ pidgerino has changed the chat name to  _ **_operation desert storm_ **

 

**pidgerino:** im debunking why shiro and matt were sleeping together ill fill in the blanks soon

 

_ 12:43 _

**mattack > pidgerino**

 

**mattack:** wtf i just woke up why are u hitting me with the texan habits AND the real questions at the same time

**pidgerino:** hola matt ive been expecting you

**mattack:** that concerns me

**pidgerino:** alas, tis no biggie. just wanna know why shiro is in ur bed

**pidgerino:** care 2 explain dearest brother of mine

**mattack:** we were sleeping? u think imma fuk when mom and dad are downstairs?? nah boy i aint got time for that

**pidgerino:** yaint

**pidgerino:** no but like actually what were you doing

**pidgerino:** before you went to sleep? like why was he even here noah fence

**mattack:** full fence

**mattack:** my privacy is valid please let me

**pidgerino:** i mean okay buuuuuuut i got that video from this morning and unless u want me to ask shiro in the gc u better cough it up brotherly comrade

**mattack:** jfjdjfj ask the gc idc we didnt get dirty but im too embarrassed to confess what ive done 

 

_ 12:59 _

**take me to church**

 

_ (pidgerino: 1 video) _

**pidgerino:** yo shiro i gotta question

**mattress:** p i d g e r

**Allurable:** :O!

**hunkindonuts:** omfg pidge

**Sharpshooter:** I JUST SNORTED

**kieth:** ur gonna get killed for posting that im calling it

**balmerina:** rip in pidge

**Sharpshooter:** RIP IN PIDGE

**hunkindonuts:** she will be missed

**Allurable:** Not by Shiro.

**pidgerino:** LDJKS

**pidgerino:** bye guys !

 

_ 1:00 _

_ pidgerino added Sharpshooter, hunkindonuts, keith.k, Allurable, balmerina to  _ **_dont talk in the gc_ **

 

**pidgerino:** i want shiros raw reaction and i want to know when he sees it and when he decides to respond so dont speak my hushkins

 

_ pidgerino has locked the chat _

 

_ pidgerino has unlocked the chat _

 

**pidgerino:** wait i wanna discuss possible reactions

**Allurable:** Shiro will probably act very calm about it but if I talk to him privately I feel he will blow up… Or at least be extremely embarrassed.

**keith.k:** if i come home to anything broken u gon die pidge i s2g he never gets mad im scared now

**pidgerino:** im sorry ahead of time

**Sharpshooter:** youre all so cautious shiro will probably laugh

**keith.k:** youre just expressing your reaction shut up lance

**hunkindonuts:** i feel like he will… leave the gc??

**balmerina:** but for what emotion?

**hunkindonuts:** anger. hed leave to cool down?

**balmerina:** my theory is that he will leave the gc as well but i think it will be because he doesnt want to face reality of the fact he and matt got busy ;)

**pidgerino:** THATS THE THING THO

**pidgerino:** I ASKED MATT AND HE SAID THEY DIDNT DO ANYTHING YET HES TOO ASHAMED TO TELL ME WHAT THE DID

**Sharpshooter:** n00ds ;)?

**keith.k:** oh my gdo

**Allurable:** As long as they don’t share them I’m fine.

**pidgerino:** fjdjfdjsj allura how are you so calm  im about to d i e

**Allurable:** Who said I was calm?

**Allurable:** I’m very excited, really.

 

_ 7:00 _

**take me to church**

 

_ tshirogane has left the chat. _

 

_ pidgerino has added tshirogane to the chat. _

 

_ tshirogane has left the chat. _

 

_ pidgerino has added tshirogane to the chat. _

 

_ tshirogane has left the chat. _

 

**mattress:** pidge.

**pidgerino:** matthew.

**mattress:** Katie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how mad do you think shiro is vote now on your phones
> 
> also i wrote a future chapter and i figured instead of a chat fic style that chapter was gonna be in the normal style of prose?? i dont know how youll all feel about it but its hard to describe some things as a chat fic so that prose-style chapter is going to be its own entity. i might do those sometimes. i dunno, but ill give you guys a heads up the chapter before so you arent shook tm or something


	7. the name is scarn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you think id write a fic without incorporating the office into it?  
> think again!

_8:00_

**keith.k > tshirogane**

 

**keith.k:** so i know that youre not all too keen right now and stuff but do you want to talk about anything?

**keith.k:**  maybe that whole spillage of you and matt basically having an affair?

**tshirogane:** im not upset im just spiting pidge

**keith.k:** oh my fucking god

 

_8:12_

**take me to church**

 

_mattress has added tshirogane to the chat_

 

**tshirogane:** if you want an answer ill give it to you

**tshirogane:** we marathoned the office until we passed out

**mattress:** THE PLAN WAS TO SAY WE WERE WATCHING SOMETHING GOOD

**mattress:** WHY ARE YOU CHEATING ME OUT LIKE THIS

**tshirogane:**  first of all,

**tshirogane:** the office is magnificent

**mattress:** call me michael scarn

**mattress:** matthew scarn

 

_mattress changed their name to matthew scarn_

 

**tshirogane:** you just said the office was bad

**matthew scarn:** i lied i love the office can we binge it more later

**tshirogane:** yeah

 

_8:17_

**tshirogane > keith.k**

 

**tshirogane:**  also its not an affair

**tshirogane:** its nothing

**keith.k:** i cant believe you

 

_8:20_

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** I WENT THRU ALL THIS STRESS TO FIND OUT U WERE WATCHING THE OFFICE?!?!?!?!!?!??!?!?

**pidgerino:** bye

 

_8:33_

 

**matthew scarn:** ha

**Sharpshooter:** the office is GREAT

 

_Sharpshooter changed their name to Jim_

 

**Jim:** u know what it is

 

_Jim changed kieth ‘s name to Pam_

 

**Pam:** W H

**Pam:** I AM NOT PAM

**Jim:** shit u right

 

_Jim changed Pam ‘s name to dwight_

 

**Jim:** better

 

_Jim changed tshirogane ‘s name to Jan_

_Jim changed Allurable ’s name to Angela_

_Jim changed hunkindonut ‘s name to Kevin_

 

**pidgerino:** im gonna stop u right there my friend

**Kevin:** do you really think i am at kevin’s level?

**Jim:** no of course not

**Jim:** he can actually play basketball

**Kevin:** rude???

 

_Jan changed Kevin ‘s name to hunkindonuts_

_Jan changed Angela ‘s name to Allurable_

_Jan changed their name to tshirogame_

 

**Jim:** SHIROGAME

**matthew scarn:** grind never STOPS

**tshirogame:** grind stops for sleep and good health

**dwight:** stop sounding like a dad when youre in your 20s

**tshirogame:** i could and therefore i am

**Jim:** oh my fcgod

**pidgerino:** anyway

**tshirogame:**  pidge

**pidgerino:** i hate to gossip but

**tshirogame:**  Pidge

**pidgerino:** shiro do u and matt rlly get busy ;)tm and just dont wanna admit it?

**matthew scarn:** gtg

**tshirogame:**  wow would you look at that my boss just keened over and fucking died i gotta work all of a sudden!

**pidgerino:** unholy

**matthew scarn:** we doNT

 

_8:57_

**tshirogane > mattack**

 

**tshirogane:** but like.

 

_9:04_

**mattack > tshirogane**

  
**mattack:** like what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this chapter was awfully short and for that im sorry but i really felt like i needed to clear up what shiro and matt were doing otherwise chapter 6 kills because its too confusing  
> so heres this


	8. BUT WHAT ABOUT ANT MAN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ive been staring at the edge of the water

_ 10:32 _

**take me to church**

 

**Jim:** hey whats everybody doing today

**tshirogame:** i had work i just got off 2 minutes ago

**Jim:** in what world do you get off at ten thirty in the morning on a sunday

**tshirogame:** when you have 10 hour night shift

**dwight:** dont fall asleep when you get home we have to do something

**tshirogame:** then can we all congregate here because thatd be much easier than me trying to drive elsewhere

**dwight:** i could totally drive 

**tshirogame:** illegally yes

**pidgerino:** wtf shiro go to bed who said we have to hang out

**Jim:** shiro did

**hunkindonuts:** ^^

**Allurable:** I think this is a good idea. What time would you like us to begin coming over?

**tshirogame:** im fine with anything after 11. i at least want a power nap if its not too much to ask

**balmerina:** yeah! if you dont mind, though, some of us arent sure where your house is…

**hunkindonuts:** oh if you want i can come pick you up?

**hunkindonuts:** im sure its on my way since i live exactly across town from them.

**balmerina:** sure thing! thanks  :)

**dwight:** wait why am i still

 

_ Jim changed dwight ‘s name to chief keef _

_ Jim changed their name to lanceylance _

 

**lanceylance:** better

**chief keef:** when will you stop

**hunkindonuts:** sooo, anybody else need to be picked up?

 

_ 10:45 _

**pidgerino > mattack**

 

**pidgerino:** WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD WE GOING TO THE BROGANE PLACE

**mattack:** I NEVER WENT TO SLEEP

**pidgerino:** again jfc?

**mattack:** yeah same but also come in here i need my comrades assistance

**pidgerino:** is this about shiro

**mattack:** no

**pidgerino:** cool

 

_ 11:01 _

**take me to church**

 

**chief keef:** just letting you all know that shiro is still asleep because im just gonna wake him up when everybody is here

**Allurable:** How out is he?

**chief keef:** possibly dead

**pidgerino:** matt and i are gonna stop and pick him up some coffee from the bucks do you know what he drinks

**pidgerino:** if he drinks black we arent friends anybody btw

**Allurable:** Last I was there with him he tasted my caramel macchiato and really enjoyed it. 

**Allurable:** I don’t recall what he got for himself however

**pidgerino:** matt suddenly thinks he knows so we gucci thanks queen

**pidgerino:** also keith can we dogpile shiro or would he kill us

**chief keef:** dm

 

_ 11:06 _

**pidgerino > chief keef**

 

**pidgerino:** do you have some twisted plan

**pidgerino:** a keikaku mayhaps

**chief keef:** yes actually

**chief keef:** i was thinking matt could wake him up

**chief keef:** but thats all pending on if you guys get here fast because as soon as hunk shows up with lance and shay everythings going to hell

**pidgerino:** i like it but we just pulled up to #$tarbux

**chief keef:** so probably wont happen then?

**pidgerino:** alternative: movie

**chief keef:** what movie would everybody want to watch though?

 

_ 11:10 _

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** alright nerds its time for a movie poll

**lanceylance:** DISNEY ANYTHING

**lanceylance:** hunk said he doesnt care as long as its not horror

**balmerina:** i like lance’s idea! disney/dreamworks is great!

**pidgerino:** okay well that helps a lot

**pidgerino:** NAMES PEOPLE I NEED NAMES

**pidgerino:** also matt said the incredibles

**lanceylance:** nah you gotta go classic didney princess

**lanceylance:** call me cliche but i love moana so thats my vote

**balmerina:** UGH you and matt picked 2 of the best movies can i have 2 votes?

**pidgerino:** only for you shay

**Allurable:** I also like the idea of those movies but I’m afraid I must give my vote to Princess Diaries.

**pidgerino:** JFJFJHF ALLURA

**Allurable:** I relate.

**chief keef:** well i want an action movie. like... edge of tomorrow or something?

**lanceylance:** get outta here

**pidgerino:** me too keith but like what about ant man

**chief keef:** NOT AGAIN

**pidgerino:** LMAO okay but like im down for anything im the judge and i like all options so yeah

**lanceylance:** theres no judge if this is a vote?

**pidgerino:** ANYWAY

**pidgerino:** your options are: moana, princess diaries, the incredibles, or edge of tomorrow

**pidgerino:** in order to practice democracy best i want ur votes dmed to me for privacy sake

**lanceylance:** wow

**pidgerino:** ;)

 

_ 11:17 _

**Allurable > pidgerino**

 

**Allurable:** I’m actually changing my vote to Moana, please.

 

_ 11:17 _

**Sharpshooter > pidgerino**

 

**Sharpshooter:** you know what i want

 

_ 11:17 _

**keith.k > pidgerino**

 

**keith.k:** hit me with the incredibles

 

_ 11:17 _

**balmerina > pidgerino**

 

**balmerina:** put hunk and i both down for moana!

 

_ 11:18 _

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** the results are in

**pidgerino:** and with a vote of 4:2 not counting me or shiro

**pidgerino:** we are in for moana

**lanceylance:** NAILED IT

**chief keef:** so when are you guys gettng he

**chief keef:** nvm somebody just knocked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi so the next chapter is going to be irl writing bc how else can u describe shiro being a LOG  
> but after that we go back to shitpost party :3


	9. its movie night boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i love moana but i love slow burn shatt even more?

Keith sighed as he opened the door to reveal Hunk, Lance, and Shay with smiles on their faces and multiple bags of snack foods in their arms. “These are good movie snacks,” Hunk hummed, smiling.

Lance beamed at Keith and then stepped inside, kicking off his shoes and halfway shrugging off his jacket. He watched Lance with slight annoyance but looked back to the other two and greeted them. “Shiro’s in bed, so you can make yourself comfortable until he wakes up.” He lead them in and pointed toward a distant wall. “Kitchen is over there, obviously this is the living room, and the bathroom is halfway between the two.” Shay smiled and followed Hunk into the kitchen to set down the food. Before Keith had a chance to open his mouth at Lance, there was a soft tap on the door frame and Allura standing in it. 

“Good almost-afternoon, Keith, Lance,” she smiled, letting herself in. She took off her coat and hung it up on one of the empty wall hooks. “Are Pidge and Matt here?” Keith simply shook his head and plopped himself down in the lone chair.

When Hunk reemerged from the kitchen, he looked between the gathered group and the seats. “Who’s gonna sit on the floor?” The question caused everybody to look at one another. “I can totally sit on the floor, I don’t mind,”he offered, shrugging.

Shay nodded and gave a cheery “I can too!” while she was in the process of sitting down. Allura smiles at the pair and hesitantly took a seat on the sofa beside Lance.

“I guess I can get blankets and stuff. I can always join you guys on the floor too. I don’t really care that much.” Keith shrugged as well and stood up. He walked into and past the kitchen off to some other realm in the house which left the other four to their own devices.

“Are you going to cuddle with Keith?” Allura smiled to Lance knowingly, it was basically a smirk. It would be if her eyebrows didn’t have their natural sympathetic angle.

Lance grimaced. “Ew, with Keith? Never.” But at the same time he was very slowly sliding down onto the floor. Hunk raised his eyebrows and gave Lance a look as well, but as soon as they heard footsteps they went silent. “Yo, mullet, pass me the thickest bih you got there,” he laughed at his own joke, holding his hands up from his new spot on the floor.

Without hesitation, Keith dropped the giant comforter on top of Lance’s head and then dealt out two more blankets to Shay and Hunk, tossing one to Allura, and then taking the last one for himself.

Keith turned to Allura again and opened his mouth, but he didn’t say anything. That was because she got to it before him. “Will Pidge be joining you on the floor?” She smiled, already standing with her blanket. She moved from the sofa to the chair, watching as Keith simply nodded. He still had no idea how Allura could so easily read his mind. It was insane.

And, like Allura does sometimes, just as she sat in the chair there was a knock on the still open door and two Holt’s with their hands full. Lance perked up again and grinned at the site of the final two arrivals. He stood almost immediately and grabbed Hunk, yanking him up to his feet as well. The two made a mad dash past the kitchen while giggling like school girls. Before Matt could blink his sister was rushing after them, snickering eagerly.

Matt shrugged and kicked off his shoes, setting a 2 liter on the coffee table while taking a sip of the large coffee in his other hand.

“SHIRO!” 

The four in the living room jolted, looking at each other with wide eyes. Suddenly there was a loud groan and the sound of something hitting a wall. Keith and Matt stared at each other with slight fear as they both looked toward the kitchen. Before Keith could go solve the problem, Matt was halfway to the kitchen and on his way to Shiro’s room.

“We’re watching Moana, get up,” Pidge groaned, standing with Hunk and Lance above the older man. Shiro just sighed and tugged the covers over his head. Matt cleared his throat, making the three teens look to him. He offered a gentle smile, and came into the room. The other three parted to make room for the eldest Holt, watching as he slowly sat on the bed.

“Takashi,” he whispered, patting the lump that was Shirogane Takashi. Hesitantly, Shiro peeked out from under the covers at Matt, smiling at the sight. “If you want this coffee you better climb the fuck outta bed,” he smirked and stood up, leaving the room. In the process he made sure to make a very exaggerated slurp of the coffee. Almost immediately, Shiro was up and rushing after him.

By the time Matt was in the living room, Shiro was right behind him with tunnel vision for the cup. He went in to tackle Matt, hands wrapping around his waist. But instead of taking down the Holt, he grunted and rested his forehead onto the other’s shoulder. Matt, in reaction to the odd display of affection, turned bright red across his face, staring straight forward. “Hi Shiro,” he whispered, coming back to his senses and touching the cup to a hand on his stomach.

As Shiro took the cup, his head popped up with a small smile on his lips. “Thanks, Matt,” he replied, taking a sip. From below them Lance coughed out a comment. In reply to that, Keith kicked him, and Lance yelped.

“It’s true!”

“What’s true?” Shiro looked down to Lance, still not releasing Matt from his grasp. Not that Matt wanted to escape, though, he seemed awfully content where he was at.

“Nooooothing,” he hummed, curling up in the blanket he was given. “But you guys should sit down and stop cuddling, the rest of us want to watch Moana.” The boys looked at each other and finally realized the position they were in, both of them gaining a pink hue to their cheeks. They split and Matt took a seat on the sofa, Shiro going in the opposite direction back toward his room.

Much to everybody’s relief, he returned with the comforter from his bed and sat down beside Matt, leaning on the arm rest. “Who has the remote?” Allura held it up with a smile and played the movie.

 

Of course the movie was amazing. Lance cried twice, like always. Keith somehow ended up a lot closer to Lance by the end than where he started. Hunk and Shay were watching the screen intently and making soft comments to each other. Pidge and Allura where both relaxed and content with their respective snacks and drinks. As for Matt and Shiro, they ended up asleep with Matt leaning against Shiro’s front side, wrapped together in the blanket.

Lance was very, very sure to take as many pictures as possible for future embarrassment. But he had no idea that Pidge had the perfect angle that made it appear as if he and Keith were also snuggling together. The girls deemed that would be perfect blackmail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yippee ki yay that was a ride speaking i havent wrote a story in forever  
> now back to ur regularly meme format


	10. take me to ur bungalow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance????????????????

_ 8:12 _

**take me to church**

 

**lanceylance:** now that we are all back in our respective bungalows

**tshirogame:** bungalow

**lanceylance:** now that we are all residing in our bungalows

**lanceylance:** keith and i have an announcement

**cheif keef:** do it

_ (lanceylance: 4 images) _

**pidgerino:** SO CUTE??

**hunkindonuts:** why are shiro and matt so adorable???

**pidgerino:** i wanna PUNCH something

**tshirogame:** why

**matthew scarn:** oh y dod

**matthew scarn:** my bad boy rep please stop delete those

**tshirogame:** “bad boy”

**tshirogame:** the worst thing you ever did to get in trouble was you wrote and submitted your own retake and the only question was “did i write this test?” and your answer was no

**pidgerino:** JFLDLJKFDSJLFL ITS HANGIGN ON THE FRIDGE

**matthew scarn:** FUCK OFF SHIRO IM PROUD OF THAT

**tshirogame:** remember when you convinced your english teacher freshmen year that you were legally blind

**matthew scarn:** good times

**hunkindonuts:** lance convinced a girl he was moving to europe so she went out with him. i think they kissed twice

**lanceylance:** hunk i convinced her i was moving back to europe please get the story right

**chief keef:** youre so straight it hurts

**lanceylance:** hi im bi

**chief keef:** youre only half the gay i am

**lanceylance:** at least im not a PUSSY

**Allurable:** You are what you eat.

**matthew scarn:** FIDHSAFDUF CK

**chief keef:** yeah you dick

**tshirogane:** are you implying lance is getting it

**pidgerino:** tea? :)

**chief keef:** he has a hand i guess

**pidgerino:** TOASTED GRILLED BURNED TO A CRISP

**lanceylance:** my own friends and family

**Allurable:** I am your second cousin that means nothing to me.

**lanceylance:** MY OWN BLOOD

**Allurable:** Your own partial, hardly the same, blood.

**chief keef:** wait what

**lanceylance:** what

**lanceylance:** OH PFF did none of you know we were related

**Allurable:** My father is Lance’s father’s cousin.

**pidgerino:** what,

**Allurable:** My father is the cousin to Lance’s father. They are first cousins which makes us second cousins. We’ve only ended up at the same family gathering one time when we were both young.

**Allurable:** We are hardly related.

**lanceylance:** again, my own blood

**Allurable:** Again, my hardly qualified to be related to me second cousin.

**tshirogame:** weird.

**tshirogame:** keith and i are regular cousins

**chief keef:** true family

**matthew scarn:** thats cool

**matthew scarn:** katie and i are brother and sister.

**pidgerino:** ACTUAL family

**matthew scarn:** my own blood

**pidgerino:** i hope you vanquish softly my comrade

 

_ 8:33 _

**pidgerino > lanceylance**

**pidgerino:** i have valuable information pertaining to you

**pidgerino:** if i want to know speak now or forever hold your peace

**lanceylance:** tell m

_ (pidgerino: 1 image) _

**lanceylance:** wtf keith and i are so cute we should date

**pidgerino:** do you mean that?

**lanceylance:** i mean

**lanceylance:** im cute

**lanceylance:** keith is keith

**pidgerino:** bet

**lanceylance:** how much we talkin

**pidgerino:** if i convince you to call keith cute in the gc u owe me 20

**lanceylance:** whats the timeline here

**pidgerino:** a week

**lanceylance:** so if i dont call him cute in the gc in a week i get 20 im down

**pidgerino:** throw hands mcclain

**lanceylance:** throws hands

**pidgerino:** its on

 

_ 8:40 _

**pidgerino > Allurable**

 

**pidgerino:** how many pictures do you have of keith being cute

**Allurable:** What are you getting at?

**pidgerino:** if i can get lance to call keith cute in the gc i get $20

**Allurable:** And what’s in it for me?

**pidgerino:** 2%

**Allurable:** A dime?

**pidgerino:** 20%

**Allurable:** Better.

_ (Allurable: 7 images) _

 

_ 8:47 _

**pidgerino > tshirogane**

 

**pidgerino:** i need any and all cute pics u have of keith

**tshirogane:** why

**pidgerino:** bet against lance to get him to call keith cute

**tshirogane:** what do you get if you succeed

**pidgerino: $** 20-2 for Allura

**tshirogane:** i want 3 of that remaining 18

**pidgerino:** BS

**tshirogane:** ill send you baby/toddler keith

**pidgerino:** deal

_ (tshirogane: 26 images) _

**pidgerino:** THESE ARE ALL BABY TODDLER KEITH WTF

**tshirogane:** thats not even half

 

_ 8:53 _

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** @ lance

_ (pidgerino: 1 image) _

**lanceylance:** ew whos that ugly kid

**cheif keef:** why the hell do you have one of my baby pictures

 

_ 8:55 _

**keith.k > pigerino**

 

**keith.k:** you have 10 seconds to explain yourself

**pidgerino:** i get $15 if i get lance to call you cute in the gc

**keith.k:** where did you get that picture

**pidgerino:** shiro

**keith.k:** and how much did you give shiro

**pidgerino:** $3

**keith.k:** so you get 12 or you get 15 and shiro gets 3

**pidgerino:** it started as 20

**keith.k:** where the hell did the other 2 go then

**pidgerino:** allura

**keith.k:** why

**pidgerino:** i know u like lance im trying to hook you two up

**keith.k:** i dont,,

 

_ 8:57 _

**take me to church**

 

**matthew scarn:** aw i remember seeing that pic u were such a fat baby keith :)

**chief keef:** st

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> place your bets my kids  
> will lance call keith cute right away or will he hold up??? will he bust halfway??? we never know with lance mcclain :)


	11. lance is a good guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theres klance
> 
> thats enough to get people to read it , right?

_11:00_

**keith.k > Allurable**

 

 **keith.k:** i have to ask you something

 **Allurable:** Oh? Go right ahead.

 **keith.k:** its been kinda eating me since earlier today but i didnt know if it was my place but im making it my place for a bit so im gonna ask

 **keith.k:** wasnt the last time you went to get coffee with shiro when you

 **Allurable:** Ah…

 **Allurable:** Yes, that was the last time. Why do you ask?

 **keith.k:** i was curious

 **Allurable:** We both know that’s not your only reason, Keith.

 **keith.k:** aaand because. i dunno. it just. struck me a weird way?

 **Allurable:** I see. Well, if it makes you feel better, we are still good friends even if we don’t go on dates anymore. We both talk and spend time together when I’m not in classes.

 **keith.k:** i know its just. weird?

 **keith.k:** because i know shiros side of that stuff from an outsider experience

 **keith.k:** it doesnt matter i was mostly just curious

 **Allurable:** You don’t have to worry about Shiro and my past together.

 **Allurable:** He told me he felt the same way.

 **Allurable:** And time heals all wounds.

 **Allurable:** It’s been months since we made the decision, Keith.

 **Allurable:** I think he’s okay to drink coffee from Starbucks, especially when it was brought to him by his boyfriend.

 **keith.k:** wait ar ehtey acutlaly togehter/???

 **keith.k:** allura pblease

 **keith.k:** im like frekaign out are they legit together?

 

_11:21_

**keith.k > tshirogane**

 

 **keith.k:** ARE YOU AND MATT DATING FOR REAL

 **tshirogane:** keith go to bed you have school eventually

 **keith.k:** irrelevant

 **keith.k:** are you dating matt holt

 **tshirogane:** idk a matt holt srry

 **keith.k:** im not going to bed until i get an answer

 **tshirogane:** why are you suddenly so curious anyway keith

 **keith.k:** irrelevant

 **keith.k:** information is exchanged for information

 **keith.k:** and i asked first

 **tshirogane:** oh my god youre a first grader

 **tshirogane:** yes, we are dating.

 **tshirogane:** i think.

 **tshirogane:** we went on a date together.

 **tshirogane:** but it wasnt a true date.

 **keith.k:** what do you mean

 **tshirogane:** it was when i stayed at matts house

 **keith.k:** your date was marathoning the office at 1am?

 **tshirogane:** if theres anything i learned from previous relationships its that dates dont have to be extravagant to be meaningful, keith

 **tshirogane:** now go to bed.

 

_2:35_

**take me to church**

 

_(pidgerino: 1 image)_

 

_3:43_

 

 **lanceylance:** ewtf he s cute?

 

_8:12_

 

 **pidgerino:** hey lance

 **lanceylance:** what

 **lanceylance:** WHA T

 **pidgerino:** caching

 **lanceylance:** u fucking wot

 **pidgerino:** pay up mcclain

 **lanceylance:** i will at school

 **tshirogame:** pay up pidge

 **Allurable:** I believe you owe me a share as well

 **lanceylance:** DJDJJSJ

 

_8:13_

**pidgerino > lanceylance**

 

 **pidgerino:** if you ask keith out ill call off the deal and pay allura and shiro with my own hard earned allowance

 **lanceylance:** isnt ur allowance just u not setting shit on fire

 **pidgerino:** which is a chore in itself

 **lanceylance:** fjjjsjjs okay fine

 **pidgerino:** on one condition

 **lanceylance:** no,

 **pidgerino:** do it in the gc

 **lanceylance:** h

 **pidgerino:** ill give you 5$ also

 

_8:20_

**take me to church**

 

 **lanceylance:** hey keith

 **lanceylance:** do you wanna go out with me like on a date sometime?

 **chief keef:** waht

 **lanceylance:** you

 **lanceylance:** me

 **lanceylance:** your favorite restaurant

 **lanceylance:** date?

 **chief keef:** lanc e this is the gc

 **lanceylance:** OH IS IT??

 **lanceylance:** haha oops big miss steak huh

 **pidgerino:** ya dont think hurr durr

 **lanceylance:** pid ge

 

_8:25_

**keith.k > lanceylance**

 

 **keith.k:** were you being serious

 **lanceylance:** ok heres the deal

 **keith.k:** thats enver good

 **lanceylance:** pidge said if i asked you out our bet would be off but then she said shed pay me 5$ to ask you out in the gc so i did

 **keith.k:** so its for money okay cool

 **lanceylance:** keith wait

 **keith.k:** what

 **lanceylance:** we both know im a huge player at school and ask girls out like second nature. but like i actually like you. and i wouldnt have agreed to the bet if i didnt. because i may try to go out with like any pretty girl ever. but im not an asshole. i dont ask people out as pranks because i know how it feels and i know how much it sucks. so yeah i was serious. i wanna take you out on a date. and i wanna hold your hand. and i wanna try to have quick make out sessions with you in between shiros trips to the bathroom because hes watching us so carefully to make sure we dont make any mistakes or do things we regret and being a good guardian to you. i wanna run my fingers through your ugly mullet and learn how to make you smile. if were putting this simply tho i like-like u keith please go on a date with me

 **keith.k:** okay

 **lanceylance:** THATS IT?

 **lanceylance:** I POURMY HEART OUT

 **keith.k:** im not. good with words

 **keith.k:** sorry

 **keith.k:** i promise i can show you how i feel though

 **keith.k:** if youll let me?

 **lanceylance:** you can start showing it tomorrow at 6

 **keith.k:** deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE SOFT KLANCE
> 
> update: i just realized that some of the things should have Sharpshooter and not lanceylance but i just now caught that and i refuse to go back and change it so FIght Me


	12. "something sounded like it fell" "matt probably"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its cryptic in a sense
> 
>  
> 
> just like this fuKCing fic

_ 2:10 _

**keith.k > tshirogane**

 

**keith.k:** by the way im hanging out with lance tonight

**tshirogane:** so you are going on that date

**tshirogane:** do you need money

**tshirogane:** do you need a ride

**tshirogane:** can lance drive

**keith.k:** relax oh my god.

**keith.k:** lance is covering me but i do need a ride

**keith.k:** since he took off work, his mom took the car to get groceries

**tshirogane:** is he coming over here first or are we picking him up?

**keith.k:** hell probably come home with me

**tshirogane:** okay see you soon

**keith.k:** thanks shiro

 

_ 2:23 _

**tshirogane > Allurable**

 

**tshirogane:** keith and lance are going on a date tonight

**Allurable:** I told you they would.

**tshirogane:** when do you want the money

**Allurable:** I don’t have classes on Tuesdays.

**tshirogane:** then ill see you then

 

_ 3:00 _

**take me to church**

 

**lanceylance:** tfw no gf

**chief keef:** wtf

**lanceylance:** because i have a possible bf

**tshirogame:** tfw

**matthew scarn:** tfw

**balmerina:** tfw

**lanceylance:** SHAY?!?!?

**balmerina:** lance?!

**lanceylance:** are

 

3:02

**lanceylance > balmerina**

 

**lanceylance:** are you and hunk a THING!?

**balmerina:** nah.

**balmerina:** we havent gone on a date or anything but im vagueing him in hopes he gets it.

**lanceylance:** yes bitch drag her

**balmerina:** the bigger the hoops the bigger the hoe.

**lanceylance:** ur hoops were pretty big today

**balmerina:** theyre big every day lance.

**lanceylance:** tru tru same same

 

_ 3:03 _

**tshirogane > mattack**

 

**tshirogane:** are you busy right now

**mattack:** nah why

**tshirogane:** do you wanna come over???

**mattack:** no im busy descending to hell on an inclined plane at 250 degrees

**tshirogane:** the door is unlocked

 

_ 3:51 _

**take me to church**

 

**lanceylance:** im scared

**chief keef:** were scared

**pidgerino:** ??

**chief keef:** we walk into my house and the pet gate shiro uses to block me off from the kitchen / rest of the house was up

**chief keef:** which means something is happening with him and he doesnt want me to fuck it up

**lanceylance:** and we were like “yo lets give him space it must be some flashback episode thing again thats fine we respect him ok”

**chief keef:** but then we took off our shoes and

_ (lanceylance: 1 photo) _

**pidgerino:** yoo wtf the fuck those look like matts kicks lmaoooooooo

**pidgerino:** wait

**lanceylance:** were scared

**pidgerino:** YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**chief keef:** i mean we dont hear anything but

**chief keef:** HJHJHJ lance just went over the gate

**chief keef:** lance live-text it

**lanceylance:** ok um so im in the kitchen and still hear nothing

**lanceylance:** theres nothing on the doorknob sooo like

**lanceylance:** im not gonna open the door

**lanceylance:** omfg i just heard something sound like it broke

**lanceylance:** “SHIRO”

**lanceylance:** do i take a video of this?

**lanceylance:** a voice memo?

**lanceylance:** DO I VOICE TEXT THEM BOTH

**lanceylance:** i just heard shiro go “you won this time”

**lanceylance:** matt just asked for round two

**lanceylance:** update: why do i think theyre playing mario kart

**pidgerino:** impossible i have the wii and the broganes dont own one

**lanceylance:** what systems do the broganes have

**chief keef:** we got ps4 and each a 3ds

**chief keef:** mine is the blue one

**lanceylance:** cute

**chief keef:** ew

**lanceylance:** UPDATE something hit the wall?

**chief keef:** I HEARD THAT

**lanceylance:** does shiro have a wall sex kink somebody confirm

**lanceylance:** allura

**chief keef:** KGDJSJLGJ DONT ASK ALLURA ABOUT SHIROS KINKS

**pidgerino:** this is more than i ever planned to discover

**lanceylance:** im done i cant stand here im just gonna tackle keith and screech like a banshee because i just heard one of them moan i think

**chief keef:** wai,t

**pidgerino:** sugar were going down down in anahnananah

**hunkindonuts:** wtf did i just open up to

**chief keef:** shiro and matt have wall sex while lance and i are in the house the first of many installments

**lanceylance:** this is our chance

**chief keef:** TO HAVE WALL SEX?

**lanceylance:** NO FUCK FJJFDJ to blast meme songs you PRICK

**pidgerino:** id like to request the yee song

**lanceylance:** nah im starting with jizz in my pants or shia labeouf

**lanceylance:** nvm keith put on shia labeouf bc “its cryptic in a sense”

**pidgerino:** ITS CRYPTIC IN A SENSE

**chief keef:** update, lance is dancing like hes in a club but its badly done, and shiro just screamed and something sounded like it fell

**pidgerino:** matt probably

**balmerina:** i was told to not log in and yet here i am

**balmerina:** i feel like that kid in the minigolf vine jumping into the water

**pidgerino:** me logging in every day

**chief keef:** shiro just tried to yell at us and tripped on the gate

**chief keef:** he just shrieked

**chief keef:** were turning the music off because lance doesnt wanna walk to olive garden

**pidgerino:** oh thats right u have a date

**balmerina:** omg

**lanceylance:** shiro stood up yeah? and he points at keith and he goes. “the gate means rats like you dont get to cross” 

**lanceylance:** i feel bad because i crossed the gate

**lanceylance:** update matt is out here and hes just trying to get shiro back in the mood to finish their fuck

**lanceylance:** i s2g why are gay people so gross

**lanceylance:** kkdkkfdkkd nvm shiros bi i cant talk

**chief keef:** and so it begins

**pidgerino:** wait werent you the one who was so sure shiro was pan

**lanceylance:** hes ban

**chief keef:** b a n

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS REALLY SHORT BUT IM REALLY BUSY YELLING MY EARS OFF ABOUT UNI AUDITIONS AND CALC I HATE LIFE


	13. salad discouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shiro and matt break up just prepare urselves

_ 5:30 _

**keith.k > tshirogane**

 

**keith.k:** get up you have to take us to olive garden

**tshirogane:** youre going to olive garden?

**keith.k:** we love us some fake italian

**keith.k:** also lance wants to stop at home and get a nicer shirt he feels like im outdoing him

**tshirogane:** fine here i come

 

_ 6:19 _

_ tshirogane added Allurable, mattack, balmerina, pidgerino, hunkindonuts to Operationg Klance _

 

**tshirogane:** operation klance is a go

**mattack:** operationg

 

_ pidgerino changed tshirogane ‘s name to operationg _

 

**operationg:** gee thanks pidge

**mattack:** its only whats right

**Allurable:** Anyway, details on klance?

**operationg:** they both sat in the back which is something keith usually refuses to do

**operationg:** and they were laughing to each other and being like teenage girls or something it was odd

**hunkindonuts:** AW theyre happy.

**balmerina:** im so glad <3

**balmerina:** klance deserves the world

**Allurable:** I’m glad they’re having a good time.

**Allurable:** When are you picking them up?

**operationg:** whenever keith texts me, i dunno

**operationg:** theyre at olive garden so theres the mall and other neat shops around so im probably gonna be up pretty late

**mattack:** do you want company?

**operationg:** i put in a movie so i think ill be good?

**mattack:** too late pidge just screamed “LETS GO GET SHIRO” from her room

**pidgerino:** did you not hear dad just yell “if you bring takashi here you have to bring him home before midnight”

**mattack:** FUCK bedtime im an adult

**pidgerino:** who still lives at home

**mattack:** whats the point of getting a house

**Allurable:** I thought you did have an apartment?

**mattack:** for like three months yeah

**pidgerino:** he missed a payment so mom and dad made him come home so he could save up enough money to cover like ~a years rent

**operationg:** matt if you really want to move out i dont think keith would kill me if we took you in as long as you contribute to the rent

**mattack:** what about keith

**operationg:** we agreed he has to help pay as soon as he turns 20 because he should have a job by then to help pay for college and stuff so

**operationg:** im letting him save some money first

**pidgerino:** LETS ALL MOVE IN WITH SHIRO

**mattack:** YES

**operationg:** n o

**Allurable:** I would agree but I prefer my house without men.

**mattack:** allura you wound me

**hunkindonuts:** lance and i already agreed to get a place together

**hunkindonuts:** pidge is invited so long as she “stops being a rat”

**pidgerino:** nah im living on campus when i shoot to IVY LEAGUE

**mattack:** WHAT

**pidgerino:** shush not yet i mean junior year

**Allurable:** You’re going to go Ivy??

**pidgerino:** idk maybe so i was joking but if i get in im down

**mattack:** its been fun comrade but i like my debt in small amounts so rip

**operationg:** your debt is higher than mine and you took less classes than i did

**mattack:** because im SAVING for a HOME shiro

**operationg:** this is a conversationg for a different time

**pidgerino:** conversationg

**operationg:** shut the up

**mattack:** “shut the up”

**balmerina:** shut the up

**operationg:** family friendly

 

_ 8:00 _

**keith.k > tshirogane**

 

**keith.k:** hey come pick us up

**tshirogane:** done already??

**keith.k:** yeah we went out to eat not scream at the moon

**tshirogane:** are you parting ways?

**keith.k:** no

**tshirogane:** what are you doing then?

**keith.k:** we want to play guitar hero

**tshirogane:** oh nice okay are you at olive garden?

**keith.k:** yeah

**tshirogane:** see you soon

 

_ 8:05 _

**operationg klance**

 

**operationg:** theyre coming back here i have company

**Allurable:** To do what?

**operationg:** guitar hero

**Allurable:** Fun!

**balmerina:** which one do you have??

**operationg:** i have no idea

**hunkindonuts:** or is it off brand?

**balmerina:** if they have off brand im blocking the broganes

**hunkindonuts:** tbh same tho

**mattack:** m e

**pidgerino:** we have off brand

**balmerina:** GASP

**mattack:** BECAUSE MOM DIDNT KNOW

**mattack:** IT WASNT OUR FAULT

**mattack:** she got the cheapest game

**operationg:** ITS ON BRAND GEEZ

**operationg:** i have to get them goodbye get good sleep everybody

**balmerina:** its 8

**operationg:** goodnight! :)

 

_ 2:37 _

**mattack > tshirogane**

 

**mattack:** what if i made a salad called protons neutrons and croutons

**tshirogane:** i will strangle you

**mattack:** it can be one part of the alkaline earth meal

**tshirogane:** im single suddenly

 

_ 4:02 _

 

**mattack:** wait did you mean that

 

_ 4:20 _

 

**mattack:** haha blaze it

 

_ 4:21 _

 

**mattack:** shiro were you serious are we single guys

**mattack:** is allura into boys then

**mattack:** takashi please

 

_ 5:01 _

**take me to church**

 

**matthew scarn:** shiro broke up with me

**tshirogame:** yes

 

_ 5:32 _

 

**lanceylance:** what he fuck

**pidgerino:** matt and shiro are too gay thats false

**lanceylance:** r u sure

**pidgerino:** as sure as jan

**lanceylance:** wait,

 

_ 6:00 _

 

**tshirogame:** hes single

**tshirogame:** temporarily

**tshirogame:** until he ditches the restaurant ideas

**matthew scarn:** PROTON NEUTRON AND CROUTON WAS FUNNY AS HELL

**pidgerino:** CROUTON

**lanceylance:** calling hunk rn so he gets up

**tshirogame:** no… this. this is not possible. this. this cannot be.

**hunkindonuts:** i heard food and possibly puns?

**matthew scarn:** JFJJFJ proton neutron crouton hunk tell me what u think

**hunkindonuts:** im

**hunkindonuts:** very hungry and also happy i love it lets do it

**matthew scarn:** and how do you feel about

**matthew scarn:** alkaline earth meal

**matthew scarn:** its like a happy meal but its nerdy

**pidgerino:** I JSUT CHOKED, ONMY CEREAL MATT

_ (matthew scarn: 1 image) _

**matthew scarn:** then perish.

**pidgerino:** D:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this at 1am dont @ me im trying to find better times to write but its hard


	14. all these fuckin ankles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> matt "glass bones and paper skin" holt

 

_ 8:03 _

**take me to church**

 

**Allurable:** I’m surprised this place isn’t alive, which makes me proud since most of you are in class.

**pidgerino:** hi

**Allurable:** NO!!!!

**lanceylance:** i just watched keith naruto run

**Allurable:** What are you doing?!

**lanceylance:** i hurt myself in gym so have to sit out

**hunkindonuts:** on purpose

**hunkindonuts:** he twisted his ankle and melodramatically collapsed onto the floor

**Allurable:** Then what are you doing, Hunk?

**hunkindonuts:** we just got back from the nurse but i gtg now and actually participate

**Allurable:** Stay focused!

**matthew scarn:** patience yields focus

**lanceylance:** hi shiro

**matthew scarn:** hi lance

**tshirogame:** matt you have work in 20 minutes

**matthew scarn:** I JU SAT OWOKE UP

**tshirogame:** MATT

**Allurable:** I spoke too soon.

 

_ 11:55 _

 

**chief keef:** why did you just expose me to the gc

**lanceylance:** because its my new duty as the guy who took you on a date

**chief keef:** it was one date

**lanceylance:** and there are more to come ?

**pidgerino:** STOP

**lanceylance:** wait shiro i need ur help and it has nothing to do with keith

**tshirogame:** i heard my name and not keith im listening

**chief keef:** wow

**lanceylance:** anyway shiro you were a band geek right?

**tshirogame:** why must you make me remember my dark past

**lanceylance:** ive seen pics of u

**matthew scarn:** THROWBACK TO SHIRO THE BAND NERD

**Allurable:** He was such a dork.

**tshirogame:** you say that but youre the one who always hung out with me

**tshirogame:** both of you

**pidgerino:** thrashed

**tshirogame:** anyway lance what is it

**lanceylance:** WELL 

**lanceylance:** how do i get allowed to play the drums

**chief keef:** oh my god his drummer days

**tshirogame:** somebody in the band would have to join you

**tshirogame:** or me

**tshirogame:** because the director loved me even though i hardly cared

**tshirogame:** probably because i was somehow good at it?

**Allurable:** You have a mild musical inclination, don’t act like you aren’t aware.

**tshirogame:** i mean i guess

**lanceylance:** then come with me shiro i wanna play drums

**tshirogame:** why

**lanceylance:** pidge said i had no rhythm

**pidgerino:** its true

**tshirogame:** im not taking you to the band room you can just tap on your leg

**lanceylance:** fcj

 

_ 2:18 _

 

**matthew scarn:** guys im at work and i just slipped because somebody forgot a wet floor sign and im in extreme pain but my phone isnt broken so dw

**pidgerino:** ofmg

 

_ 2:24 _

 

**pidgerino:** yo i just got called to the office matt what the fuck did you do

 

_ 2:30 _

 

**Allurable:** Where is Shiro in all of this? Matt is seriously hurt?

**pidgerino:** I DONT KNOW HES USUALLY HERE BY NOW? MOM AND DAD AND I ARE LEGIT JUST WALKING INTO THE LOBBY

**pidgerino:** hes usually like waiting for us so he can at least let us check on matt before he does

**Allurable:** I’m quite concerned right now.

**pidgerino:** wait maybe hes already in the room

**pidgerino:** were heading there now and like? maybe he thinks he has boyfriend privilege now?

 

_ 2:34 _

**Allurable > pidgerino**

 

**Allurable:** Wait, pardon my asking, but what do you mean “usually”?

**pidgerino:** well one time matt fell off the roof

**pidgerino:** and hes also jumped off the roof onto the trampoline

**pidgerino:** which is why we dont have a trampoline anymore

**pidgerino:** he also got decked in the cheek with a saw thats why he has a scar

**pidgerino:** also there was one time a few years ago when shiro accidentally sliced matts leg open and he had to get stitches which was a BLAST

**pidgerino:** anyway shiro has spent a lot of time in the hospital because of matts own stupidity

**Allurable:** His spirit is awfully drawn to hospitals, huh?

**pidgerino:** yeah

**Allurable:** Maybe he was a sort of doctor in a past life?

**pidgerino:** idk but i gtg we just got to his room

**Allurable:** Tell him I wish him well.

 

_ 2:54 _

**take me to church**

 

**Allurable:** Why do you all choose now to be silent?

 

_ 3:01 _

 

**chief keef:** shiros

**chief keef:** shiros been at work since noon

**pidgerino:** hes gonna fucking freak out somebody tell him?

**chief keef:** i can try to call his work?

**chief keef:** idk if theyll let him go tho because its not family matters

**pidgerino:** say its his fiance matt is so concerned even tho hes the bitch with the broken leg

**lanceylance:** wow i never thought id see the day somebody actually slips and hurts themself on a wet floor sign

**pidgerino:** funny story

**balmerina:** thats not good.

**balmerina:** i hope matt is still okay!

**pidgerino:** he is but hes like drugged up because he kept yelling over “how it hurts”

**pidgerino:** which is weird bc hes never been this crybaby about broken bones

**balmerina:** hunk says hell make get well soon treats! ask matt what he wants!

**pidgerino:** i will later thank u hunk

**pidgerino:** anyway hes being a baby and idk why but like the doctors wont let me see the x ray

**pidgerino:** but mom and dad are looking at them right now in a different room so idk

**chief keef:** i just called shiros work and they said he has break in 3 minutes

**pidgerino:** matts gonna YELL

 

_ 3:15 _

 

**tshirogame:** what the ufck is going on

**tshirogame:** is matt okay

**tshirogame:** what happened

**tshirogame:** pidge

**tshirogame:** im on break i have 45 minutes somebody better tell me whats going on

**tshirogame:** never mind im on my way

 

_ 3:24 _

 

**lanceylance:** boyfriend goals

**pidgerino:** ANYWAY like he didnt slip on a wet floor sign but he said he wants to tell the story because he told me and hes been laughing for 10 minutes

 

_ 4:00 _

 

**matthew scarn:** holy fuck guys

**matthew scarn:** lemme tell you all a story

**matthew scarn:** i was at work in the back right

**matthew scarn:** on the ladder stacking shit

**matthew scarn:** and below me this coworker she comes up and she says

**matthew scarn:** “shiro isnt gay stop lying on instagram” 

**matthew scarn:** I FUCKING SNORTED

**matthew scarn:** OBVIOUSLY THIS GIRL IS ONE OF THE GIRLS WHO USED TO FANTASIZE OVER HIM WHILE HE WAS PINING AFTER ALLURA????

**matthew scarn:** idk if shiro even KNOWS her ill ask him later lmfao

**matthew scarn:** she goes.

**matthew scarn:** “shiro is too good for you” 

**matthew scarn:** i fucking YELL in my head

**matthew scarn:** laguhing my fucking ass off

**matthew scarn:** and i lean over to catch my breath im fucking wheezing at this point

**matthew scarn:** and i fall

**matthew scarn:** off the ladder right

**matthew scarn:** onto the warehouse floor

**matthew scarn:** and i shattered my ankle like

**matthew scarn:** u kno she ded

_ (matthew scarn: 1 image) _

**matthew scarn:** pics or im lying

**lanceylance:** shiro is too good for you

**lanceylance:** hes too good for all of us

**lanceylance:** smh

**pidgerino:** nah thats allura

**lanceylance;** TRUE

**matthew scarn:** lmfao anyway im omw home and shiro is holding my hand hardcore

**pidgerino:** mom took pics

**lanceylance:** cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im dying and slowly falling behind on writing im going as fast as i can my dudes


	15. hunk has MOMS?? he

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i love hunk and shay a lot i want more about them but also i love shiro and matt so there must be a Healthy Balance

_ 5:12 _

**take me to church**

 

**Allurable:** Well, now that I believe we’ve all calmed down from Matt’s incident, I feel as if I should propose if anybody wishes to get together tomorrow as it is another weekend?

**lanceylance:** where we talking princess

**Allurable:** My home, of course. That’s why I am the one suggesting it.

**Allurable:** I’ve already cleared it with my father and Godfather, so all that is left is you guys.

**lanceylance:** oooh whos gonna be watching us tho queen

**lanceylance:** you know how we get

**Allurable:** Yes, I do, my bad…

**Allurable:** Very far from each other.

**pidgerino:** ice cold

**cheif keef:** same allura

**lanceylance:** :D

**lanceylance:** D:*******************

**tshirogame:** aw hes so happy

**lanceylance:** D:******************************************

**hunkindonuts:** ANYWAYS allura i gotta ask my mom which will result in me consulting my other mom which will result in me consulting my first mom until both moms have discussed and agreed so i will go do that right now bye

**lanceylance:** I LOVE HUNKS MOMS

**pidgerino:** WE ALL LOVE HUNKS MOMS

**balmerina:** moms???

**lanceylance:** his moms are gay like keith

**balmerina:** THATS SO SWEET?? he never told me he had MOMS he always just says mom...

**balmerina:** im calling his MOMS

**balmerina:** we have a lot to discuss.

**pidgerino:** like why their son is such a pussy?????

**balmerina:** I WAS THINKING WUSS BUT OKAY?

**pidgerino:** a play on words. ironic. he is the only one in the household without a vagina and yet he, hunk garret, real first name still unknown, unless it truly is hunk, is the one with the biggest of the vaginal canals. good doses of irony are appropriate. amen.

**balmerina:** gtg

**lanceylance:** same bye pidge

**tshirogame:** suddenly i have to work all of a sudden

**chief keef:** shiro suddenly has to work all of a sudden

**allurable:** I have to…

**pidgerino:** ONLY THE STRONG REMAIN

**matthew scarn:** amen

**pidgerino:** shiro suddenly has to work all of a sudden

 

_ 6:00 _

 

**hunkindonuts:** wow okay a LOT just happened, but i managed to ask both of my parents at once and they consulted and agreed so I AM IN allura

**hunkindonuts:** also i can provide matt with his dessert tomorrow if he goes

**matthew scarn:** YES im going

**pidgerino:** welp im in

**lanceylance:** “welp”

**pidgerino:** wellfuck help

**lanceylance:** understandable have a nice day

**chief keef:** i dont know if shiro ACTUALLY has work or not so i cant confirm or deny that we are going but im going its just him

**tshirogame:** I just Told you We Are Going Stop Lying

**Allurable:** Splendid!

**Allurable:** My father won’t be home because he is out on business, leaving at 12 actually, but Coran will be there so you should prepare yourselves for… Him.

**tshirogame:** wait, which 12?

**Allurable:** Noon the day of.

**tshirogame:** i see

 

_ 6:10 _

**Allurable > tshirogane**

 

**Allurable:** I understand if you don’t want to come until after he leaves, if you desire to do so, Shiro.

**tshirogane:** i like your dad. i have no problem seeing him

**tshirogane:** i was curious because i wanted to see him, actually

**Allurable:** I see! He should enjoy seeing you before he leaves, too.

 

_ 6:13 _

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** sooo

**pidgerino:** what time should we all show up??

**Allurable:** Anytime after 12 is good so my father can get out before it gets chaotic.

**pidgerino:** got it

 

_ 6:17 _

**tshirogane > keith.k**

 

**tshirogane:** unless you want to ride with your boyfriend we are going around 11:30

**keith.k:** HES NOT MY BOYFRIEND???

**tshirogane:** yet

**keith.k:** but also why

**tshirogane:** i want to catch up with Alfor

**keith.k:** k

 

_ 8:12 _

**take me to church**

 

**lanceylance:** keith why is ur music taste so edgy

**chief keef:** ill tell you if you change my name back

 

_ lanceylance changed chief keef ‘s name to keith. _

_ lanceylance changed pidgerino ‘s name to pidge. _

_ lanceylance changed hunkindonuts ‘s name to hunk. _

_ lanceylance changed balmerina ‘s name to shay. _

_ lanceylance changed tshirogame ‘s name to shiro. _

_ lanceylance changed Allurable ‘s name to allura. _

_ lanceylance changed their name to lance. _

 

**lance:** there are you happy?

**lance:** no fun keith

**lance:** wait i forgot matt

 

_ lance changed matthew scarn ‘s name to matt _

 

**keith:** i just asked for mine???

**keith:** also im not telling you unless you stop being a sour bitter boy

**lance:** UGH why do i date u

**keith:** idk

**pidge:** yeah why is it so edgy tho

 

_ pidge changed their name to pidgerino. _

 

**keith:** shiro

**lance:** hwat

**keith:** who do you think i learned literally everything from

**lance:** ohmg

**pidgerino:** SHIRO GET IN HERE

**shiro:** what

**shiro:** oh

**shiro:** it wasnt All from me dont lie

**keith:** most of it

**shiro:** all i did was show you panic

**lance:** SKFKJJFJF

**matt:** wow you could say

**matt:** things are shaping up to be

**matt:** pretty odd

**shiro:** Please No

**lace:** ugh this is a group of EMOS i gtg

**hunk:** you recreationally listened to taylor swift and katy perry as if it was your religion all through middle school and some of elementary school dont talk to us like that

**lance:** hunk are you emo too

**hunk:** pff, no im not a fool.

**lance:** OFMGJFJJ

**shay:** guys this is boring

 

_ shay changed thier name to ROCKHARDCORE. _

 

**ROCKHARDCORE:** better!!

**hunk:** oh my gdo…

 

_ 8:42 _

**hunkindonuts > lanceylance**

 

**hunkindonuts:** how do i get her to b my gf its important lance

**lanceylance:** ask her out how many times do i have to tell u

**lanceylance:** DO IT TOMORROW @ ALLURAS

**hunkindonuts:** THATS /WEIRD/

**lanceylance:** does she need a ride there??

 

_ 8:45 _

**hunkindonuts > balmerina**

 

**hunkindonuts:** her just wondering but uh, do you need a ride to Alluras?

**balmerina:** actually now that i think about it, yeah i do. i think.

**balmerina:** lets just go with yes because my family is PROBABLY working

**balmerina:** if you want i can meet you at your house since i know Allura lives out of town in the opposite direction that the broganes do

**balmerina:** youre the midpoint between us so it only makes sense

**hunkindonuts:** are you sure?? its kind of cold out

**balmerina:** i have a huuuuge natural body heat?? my whole family does

**balmerina:** nana always raves about us being able to channel it from earth or something

**balmerina:** its nice though

**hunkindonuts:** how are you gonna get here?

**balmerina:** i have a bike, hunk

**hunkindonuts:** just checking!!

**balmerina:** plan on me being there at 10

**hunkindonuts:** t e n

**balmerina:** i wanna meet your moms duh!

 

_ 8:51 _

**hunkindonuts > lanceylance**

 

**hunkindonuts:** she wants to meet my moms

**hunkindonuts:** shes coming over at 10 and allura said to get there at 12

**hunkindonuts:** what is she plotting???   
**lanceylance:** shes plotting to talk to your moms as in ask her out and then ou can introduce her as your GIRLFRIEND instead of just “this is my science class lab partner”

**hunkindonuts:** SHES A FRIEND NOT JUST A LAB PARTNER LANCE

**lanceylance:** IS SHE

**lanceylance:** or is she

**lanceylance:** ~more~

**hunkindonuts:** L ANCE,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is gonna be a MESS because writing an entire day is hard so i just wrote some highlights of the Trip To Alluras House tm


	16. twister but with 4 mats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> allura has a huge ass house?

_ 9:02 _

**take me to church**

 

**ROCKHARDCORE:** good morning everybody today is the day we TRASH alluras house!

**hunkindonuts:** SHAY NO!!!!!

**ROCKHARDCORE:** shay YES!!!!!!!!!

**pidgerino:** omfg get married bye

**hunkindonuts:** wh

**ROCKHARDCORE:** at

**keith:** pidge you cant talk

**pidgerino:** speak

**keith:** n,o

**lanceylance:** does keith is gay

**tshirogane:** too early

**Allurable:** I didn’t even notice that all of our names were changed back.

**keith:** i threatened to punch lance if he didnt fix it last night so he did

**Allurable:** Oh, thank you, Keith.

**Allurable:** I just asked because I wasn’t bombarded with notifications.

**keith:** oh weird

**tshirogane:** i dont think anybody was

**hunkindonuts:** good

**ROCKHARDCORE:** Allura! Do you want us to bring anything??

**Allurable:** Just yourselves! And perhaps movies if we get to that point.

**ROCKHARDCORE:** roger that!

**hunkindonuts:** over and out!

  
  


Shiro’s car pulled up into the long driveway that lead to the castle that was the Altea residence. Keith stared out the window, brooding as usually a blast of cold air hit him. “What,” he began before he realized the car was off and Shiro was out and waiting for him. He climbed out, shut the door and made his way to the front of the huge house. It wasn’t exactly a castle, but the Altea family was much too rich to be living in this area. They could easily be living it up in California or in the heart of New York City and still have extra money to spare. Keith honestly had no idea how they were so rich, all he knew is that Alfor was a very talented business man if he was anything else.

Speaking of Alfor, the door swung open to reveal the old man with a smile on his face. “Takashi! It’s been far too long since I’ve seen you. And Keith as well. It’s good to finally see both of you.” Both boys smiled and greeted Alfor before following him to the lounge just inside the home. “I must say, you have great timing, I was just about to leave in a few minutes.”

“Allura told us you were leaving, and I thought it would be nice to say hi before you left,” Shiro radiated his usual strong presence and good-guy attitude, something everybody knew he used whenever he talked to people older than him.

“Well, Takashi, how have you been then? Good, I assume.” Allura came into the room and waved, a smile on her face and Coran at her side. They all exchanged pleasantries until it was five before noon which was when Alfor stood back up, shook the boys’ hands, gave Allura a hug and Coran a firm pat on the shoulder. “Behave now, Allura, I don’t want the entire house a mess, just some parts, please.” He chuckled, gave Allura one last hug, and then was out the door just in time to watch two more cars pull into the driveway.

The others came into the house a few minutes later, chatting one another up excitedly. That all stopped when Lance melodramatically gasped. “Allura! That skirt is  _ so _ cute, where did you get it?” He rushed over to her and she grinned, looking down at the lacey off-white skirt, twisting her hips and watching it wave around a bit.

“I’m not quite sure,” she shrugged, looking over to Shiro with a shrug. She lead them all through the house into the large living room, her shoes clicking on the tile with every step. That was the one thing that could be considered odd at the Altea home: you always wear your shoes. All the floors were tile so it wasn’t like they were destroyed the carpet, but it was still a little odd.

Coran was following them, but he took a detour to the kitchen. Hunk followed him, holding the pan of fudge in his hands. They were chatting to themselves, smiling and having a generally great time. Lance took the chance and “slid” up to Shay. “Are you and Hunk dating?” He whispered, eyebrows raised as he anticipated an answer.

“Actually,” she looked down for a second and then over her shoulder to Hunk, tucking some of her dark brown hair behind her ear. “Yeah, we are,” a light pink dusted her cheeks. She went to adjust one of the two buns in her hair in an attempt to cover it up, but it was to a total failure as Lance squealed in delight.

“Hunk!!” He rushed into the kitchen and threw himself at his friend, arms raised in joy. “I’m proud of your buddy!”

There was no question that his outburst attracted everybody else’s attention. Lance was way too excited about this for his own good, leaving Hunk and Shay both bright red and trying to hide from the ominous stares of the rest of the group.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s great, Lance, believe me, I know,” he started, trying to pry Lance off of him. “But, you don’t need to shriek? It’s not like you just won the lottery.”

Pidge squinted at Hunk “What…” And then she looked to Shay and it all clicked. “Wait, you did it?!” She threw her arms up in triumph. “I don’t have to suffer through your dumb tension anymore!”

Allura laughed, looking between the four kids. “Are they finally a couple?” Lance enthusiastically nodded, still not off of Hunk.

Coran suddenly had a lightbulb go off in his head, “Oh!” He turned to the fridge and pulled out a large tray of sugar cookies. “Allura made these to congratulate you two when you finally began your relationship,” he proudly set the platter onto the island counter. Allura sighed, rolling her eyes and muttering to herself. Shiro and Matt looked to each other and then to Coran, eyebrows raised. “Lance and Keith, too,” he added, making Matt and Shiro squint and side eye Coran. “As well as Shiro and Matthew,” he finished, making the boys sigh in relief. 

Pidge looked at the tray and then to Allura. “Am I allowed to devour at least one of those?”

“Of course,” Allura giggled, “They are for all of us, I just needed cause to make them since we only had pink frosting at the time.”

“Slay, Queen,” she cheered, plucking the first one off the tray. 

Shiro shook his head and laughed to himself, looking over to where Matt was standing just a second ago. He was surprised to see him hobbling over to the cookies, crutches on the floor. “Matt.”

Matt looked back to Shiro, cookie shoved in his mouth. He signaled Shiro over with a finger, smirking. That was much too mischievous for Shiro’s liking, but he proceeded anyways, with caution of course. Matt thrust his face out toward his boyfriend and Shiro immediately knew what he was trying to do. “Stop,” he whispered, stepping back. Matt took a step forward, wiggling it with his tongue. “Matthew.”

Matt grinned and grabbed Shiro, shrieking in his mouth at the other. Finally, Shiro heavily sighed and took the other end in his mouth, taking a bite of it. “Thank you.”

“GAY,” Pidge yelled, diving over the back of the couch in the living room.

“Me,” Keith mumbled, making Lance wheeze and choke on the cookie.

 

Finally everybody settled down and slowly made their way to the basement where all the tabletop games were. Everybody but Matt at least. He was still figuring out how to get down the stairs since Shiro refused to let him have help. Allura and Shiro were busy playing a game of billiards while Lance, Pidge and Shay duked it out in a dance dance revolution brawl. Keith and Hunk were enjoying watching them between menacing games of air hockey.

It was all peachy keen until there was the sound of duct tape followed by a zipper and a loud thud. Everybody stopped immediately and looked to the stairs. Low and behold, just in time for them all to look, Matt hold was sliding down the second half of the stairs in a bright blue sleeping bag. Pidge instantly took her phone out and filmed her brother, snickering the entire time.

When Matt pulled himself out, he sighed. “Not today, natural selection.” Once he was out, the gigantic bulge that was his foot was exposed. The orange cast was wrapped to with bubble wrap and sealed with duct tape, making his foot 20 times larger than it was with the cast on.

Matt pulled a scissors our from inside the wrap and began snipping away in order to unwrap his foot. “Coran?” He called up, waiting for an answer. “Can you toss my crutches down? Thanks,” he grinned and then watched as they slid down the first half of stairs and hit the wall. He leaned up the stairs and grabbed them, placing the crutches back under his arms again. 

He looked at the group, relishing in their faces. “You guys said you wouldn’t help me, so I helped myself, bye Felicia.”

Keith looked at Matt, Shiro, Lance, and then Hunk. “Who is Felicia?”

Matt and Lance wheezed in unison and burst into laughter, grabbing onto each other to stay standing up.

 

“Hey, Allura, why is your house so… big?” Shay smiled and looked at her. Allura opened her mouth, paused, and then gave her an answer.

“It’s been passed down through, generations, actually. I’m not quite sure when it was originally built.” She thought for a second to see if maybe she did have an answer, but shrugged when she came to the conclusion that she didn’t. “But I can show you around? You haven’t been here like everybody else has, right?” Shay nodded. Allura took one last shot at the 8 ball and pocketed it, putting her stick back in the rack and smiling to Shiro before leading Shay back up the stairs.

The girls walked past the living room and down a hall which lead to a large staircase. “You saw all of the middle level, it’s just the living room, kitchen, lounge and then a bathroom and storage room,” she looked back with a polite smile. Allura lead Shay down a hallway to a door, and she opened it slowly. “This is my bedroom… I only let girls in here, but Lance found his way in and Shiro’s been in here a few times.”

It was just as elegant as Allura’s wardrobe. Her room looked way too rich to belong to a 20-something year old. Her bed was against one of the walls and across from it was a large fireplace and a flat screen mounted above it. Off to one side of the bed was a work desk and filing cabinets. Beside the door that lead into her room was another door which Allura promptly opened to reveal a walk in closet half the size of her bedroom. Shay was gaping at the wall to wall clothes. One wall was lined with all of her dresses and skirts and other extravagant and elegant clothing, another had pants and normal shirts along with a small cabinet which held her accessories inside. On the back wall she had a floor to ceiling rack of shoes that sat beside a large vanity. If that wasn’t impressive enough, she had a large round stool in the middle of the room to tie it all together. Even packed with clothes and such the room appeared so big.

“This is as big as my bedroom,” Shay whispered, looking around at everything. Allura smiled, clasping her hands. “Are you sure you aren’t a Kardashian?”

Allura giggled and shook her hair, “Thankfully, no, I’m not. These used to be two different rooms until my father remodeled it. I’m very grateful to have such spaces.” 

“I’d give anything to have such an extreme wardrobe,” Shay smiled, looking back to her host. 

“You, Pidge and I should all have a girls day. We can all hang out in my bedroom so we don’t have to deal with the boys. We can do all sorts of girl things,” She grinned, watching as Shay grew more and more delighted.

“Yes! I’d love that, we should talk to Pidge about it. She’s not the most feminine, but I’m sure she’d love to spend time away from the boys, too.” 

Allura nodded, beaming, “I’m sure she would, but speaking of the boys, we should get back to them.” Shay agreed and the two made their way back to the basement.

 

Upon their return, it was evident that the boys had their way with the layout of the room. All the tables were pushed to the walls of the room and they had laid out four twister mats in a square. “Right hand yellow,” Matt called out, watching as Lance and Keith struggled to not touch too much. 

“What…”

Shay immediately sat down beside Matt, “I want next game,” she grinned, looking back to the board where Shiro, Hunk, Pidge, Lance and Keith were all twisted into one another awkwardly. “Left foot purple,” she added, watching as Keith twisted to try and find purple, results in him crashing to the floor under lance. “HA.”

“Keith, you dumdum, there is no purple!” Lance snickered and got more comfortable.

“I knew that,” he grumbled, sitting on the opposite side of Shay. He took out his phone and took a picture, typing out a message probably to send to the group.

Matt called out another position, and watched as Hunk fell, causing Lance to call. ”Suck it, nerds,” Pidge smirked, turning her head to looked at them.

“You’re next,” Shiro added, a smirk on his face. Matt spun the wheel again and gave them a new move. It resulted in Shiro in a very sexual-looking position and Pidge spread out like a starfish across the floor. “It’d be a shame if you were to…”

“Don’t,”

“Slip.”

Shiro violently fake-coughed causing Pidge to fall onto her stomach. “Get your germy ass OUTTA HERE, SHIROGANE!”

Shiro stood up, folding his arms in triumph. He looked down at Pidge and stepped off the mat. “Got ‘em.”

“Got what?” Lance asked.

Suddenly the spinner flew by his face as Matt yelling “DEEZ NUTS,” at the top of his lungs.

 

The rest of the day went similarly, a multitude of memes and a collection of “I hate you” being said in every way possible. They all ended up tired out before 6 which was just in time for them to put on a movie in the dining room and have a nice meal courtesy of Coran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CANT WAIT TO WRITE GIRLS NIGHT BUT IT WONT HAPPEN FOR A FEW CHAPTERS AND IM TRYING TO SEGWAY INTO A GIRLS NIGHT HFHFHFHFHFH ITS SO H A R D i love shay
> 
> also ill probably be updating every other day??? but school is more important and im falling behind in my japanese class again and also calc is coming for my asshole so i gotta get on that


	17. flavored hot water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shiro is sick!? lance and keith had a bonding moment!? egg!??!?!?!??!?!?!?

_10:37_

**take me to church**

 

 **ROCKHARDCORE:** thanks for having us all over allura!

 **Allurable:** You’re welcome; it was my pleasure!

 **lanceylance:** what a queen in her palace i love

 **matthew scarn:** MOOD LANCE

 **Allurable:** gtg

 **matthew scarn:** wait,

 **pidgerino:** WAIT how have we not done this before

 

_pidgerino changed matthew scarn ’s name to matthews scar._

 

 **matthews scar:** I CANNOT BELIVE

 **pidgerino:** im not done yet

_pidgerino changed tshirogane ‘s name to shiros scar._

**matthews scar:** oh nice

 **lanceylance:** pidge establishing new couple goals wtf wheres keith and what do we have in common

 **pidgerino:** you both SUCK at ddr

 **lanceylance:** is that rlly it

 **ROCKHARDCORE:** OH um you both?? youre both seniors

 **lanceylance:** wow im shook thank you

 

_10:52_

 

_keith changed lanceylance ‘s name to hard boiled._

_keith changed their name to scrambled._

 

 **hard boiled:** keith what the fuck

 **scrambled:** we both like eggs?

 **hard boiled:**.

 **hard boiled:** this is the DUMBEST yet most HILARIOUS idea youve ever had

 **shiros scar:** go to Bed

 

_8:23_

 

 **scrambled:** i just woke up to shiro gagging so hard?

 **scrambled:** he has a super sore throat uh oh

 **hunkindonuts:** keith

 **hunkindonuts:** for everybody elses health

 **hunkindonuts:** run

 **scrambled:** good thing pidge and i are gonna conspire today

 **shiros scar:** im not sick its just a sore throat

 **Allurable:** Drink plenty of water and try medicine and cough drops. Get a lot of rest, Shiro.

 **Allurable:** Call Matt to take care of you.

 **shiros scar:** hes a huge germaphobe with this sort of thing

 **shiros scar:** plus he has a broken leg

 **shiros scar:** he can stay home ill be fine

 **Allurable:** Okay. If you’re ever interested, I know a few home remedies that have saved me.

 **shiros scar:** thanks allura, if i feel awful later ill talk to you

 

_9:35_

 

 **hard boiled:** wait shiro is sick??

 **hard boiled:** since when does that ever happen

 **shiros scar:** this is the second time this year actually

 **shiros scar:** working at a place that has so many different customers was a bad idea

 **ROCKHARDCORE:** wait shiro was with us all day yesterday

 **hard boiled:** FUCK?

 **ROCKHARDCORE:** fuck indeed

 

_10:22_

 

 **hard boiled:** why is it so QUIET stOP

 

_10:30_

 

 **hard boiled:** im genuinely concerned here?? yoink

 

_10:49_

 

 **scrambled:** shiro went to sleep idk where everybody else is sorry

 **scrambled:** also

 **scrambled:** WHY YOINK

 

_11:02_

 

 **matthews scar:** i just woke up and UM sweaty :)?

 **scrambled:** its 11??

 **matthews scar:** im coming over

 **scrambled:** shiro is still asleep?

 **matthews scar:** good then i can surprise him with some fucken

 **matthews scar:** some

 **matthews scar:** some good flavored water

 **matthews scar:** some good ass flavored hot water

 **Allurable:** Soup.

 **matthews scar:** sure

 **Allurable:** No, I’m 100% sure you are thinking of soup.

 **matthews scar:** thats what they all say

 **Allurable:**!?!?!?!?!

 

_11:39_

 

 **pidgerino:** ah, good morning matthew, brother of mine

 **hard boiled:** what did he do

 **pidgerino:** he nabbed the wii

 **hard boiled:** im going to the shirogane household

 **scrambled:** brogane*

 **hard boiled:** who pays the rent bitch

 **scrambled:**.

 **pidgerino:** bLANCE

 **pidgerino:** Bance

 

_hard boiled changed their name to Bance._

 

 **scrambled:**.

 **scrambled:** your name was hard boiled for a REASON?

 **Bance:** sorry idk why it was hard boiled

 **scrambled:** WE HAD A MOMENT

 **scrambled:** I GAVE US COUPLE NAMES

 **Bance:** NOPE

 **Bance:** sorry dont remember

 

_scrambled changed their name to IHATELANCE_

_pidgerino changed IHATELANCE ‘s name to ILOVELANCE_

  
**ILOVELANCE:** GO AWAY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIH ITS BEEN 2 MONTHS BUT SEASON 5 CAME AND SO DID I
> 
> this was written SO LONG AGO and i never posted but guess who is WRITING agaiN? me


	18. release the dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short and sweet and basically a set up to chapter 19

_ 3:06 _

**take me to church**

 

**shiros scar:** i woke up to chicken noodle soup all over my lap but there werent any noodles or chicken

**Allurable:** Matt was trying his best, Shiro.

**shiros scar:** he spilled it on me

**shiros scar:** and said “stay WOKE” as he did

**Allurable:** I suddenly take back every nice thing I’ve ever said about Matthew.

**matthews scar:** first of all

**matthews scar:** BITCH

**matthews scar:** I DID NOT SAY STAY WOKE

**matthews scar:** I SAID WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD GET WOKE

**shiros scar:** same thing

**ILOVELANCE:** you still poured soup onto his sleeping carcass

**shiros scar:** thanks for referring to my body as a carcass

**matthews scar:** translation: thanks i hate it

**Allurable:** This is a mess

**ILOVELANCE:** wait my name is still

 

_ ILOVELANCE changed their name to keith. _

 

**shiros scar:** wait that wasnt lance????

**keith:** NO pidge did that

**matthews scar:** gay?

**Allurable:** Gay.

**matthews scar:** the fault in our klance

**Allurable:** Pretty much your average love story.

**keith:** fuc

 

_ 3:23 _

 

**Allurable:** Shiro, I never did ask, but would you like somebody else to help take care of you after what occured earlier?

**matthews scar:** nah that b passd out he ded

**Bance:** he died?

**hunkindonuts:** i TOLD YOU shiro would die first for a stupid reason

**Bance:** UM? you told me KEITH would die first

**Allurable:** I’m coming over.

 

_ 4:21 _

 

**shiros scar:** somebody. anybody. take a guess as to why I am Awake

**pidgerino:** matt screamed out 420 and then exclaimed “YEET” as he threw himself onto your bed?

**shiros scar:** to a pinpoint

**pidgerino:** same

**pidgerino:** also im coming over. lance and i have a project to do

**shiros scar:** why are you telling

**shiros scar:** WHYA RE YOU CMING HERE

**pidgerino:** keith is in our group

**pidgerino:** also matt is my ride home

**shiros scar:** then how are you getting here?

**pidgerino:** hold on

**shiros scar:** did you just ring my doorbell?

**Bance:** im here too

 

_ 4:34 _

_ pidgerino has added keith.k, Sharpshooter to  _ **_FUCK PUSSY_ **

 

**pidgerino:** hello boys

**keith.k:** we are sitting right next to each other

**pidgerino:** i dont want to piss off shiro stfu keith

**Sharpshooter:** yeah stfu keith

**pidgerino:** anyway lets get to work on the project thx

 

_ 4:43 _

_ mattack has added Allurable, tshirogane to  _ **_sick boi_ **

 

**mattack:** shiro is sick 

**Allurable:** I am aware. And I am also right beside you

**mattack:** and?

**Allurable:** Good point.

**mattack:** wait can we wake up shiro i have a good idea

**Allurable:** Which is?

**mattack:** bls hold

 

_ 5:03 _

_ mattack has added Sharpshooter, keith.k, Allurable, pidgerino, hunkindonuts, balmerina, tshirogane to  _ **_truth or dare question mark_ **

 

**mattack:** buenos dias muchachalatas

**pidgerino:** WHY

**Sharpshooter:** YES

**keith.k:** NO

**balmerina:** YES

**hunkindonuts:** oh boy

**Allurable:** Oh dear…

**mattack:** allura with you please…………………….

**mattack:** release the kraken

**Allurable:** Got it. Waking up Shiro.

**mattack:** RELEASE THE CRYPTID

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI i gave you 2 (two) (2) chapters in one day to try and satisfy the hiatus i brought up without warning so here u go gays and. gays


	19. lance doesnt know pidges name its fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DONT @ ME ABOUT KEITH OLIVER

_ 5:14 _

**truth or dare question mark**

 

**tshirogane:** matthew samuel holt what are you doing

**Sharpshooter:** HIS MIDDLE NAME IS SAMUEL?

**pidgerino:** and our dads middle name is matthew. its a tradition

**Sharpshooter:** so whats your middle name?

**pidgerino:** anne

**Sharpshooter:** Pidge Anne holt? seems fake

**pidgerino:** DID YOU LEGIT FORGET MY NAME IS KATIE

**pidgerino:** fjksljflksdjflksdjflksjflsjfkljLJLKJLKLK

**keith.k:** Lance Mcclain

**Sharpshooter:** before be begin we should expose our middle names

**Sharpshooter:** i am Lance Anton Mcclain

**hunkindonuts:** i dont have one thanks for the conversation

**balmerina:** I’m Shay Amelia!

**hunkindonuts:** CUTE?

**hunkindonuts:** i mean nice

**keith.k:** i also dont have one

**tshirogane:** yes you do its oliver

**tshirogane:** Keith Oliver

**mattack:** KOK

**tshirogane:** yes, he is kok

 

_ mattack changed keith.k ‘s name to kok. _

 

**kok:** fuck you takashi shirogane

**tshirogane:** its nice not having a middle name

**Allurable:** I am Allura Alice.

**mattack:** a goddess

**mattack:** anyway lets play truth or dare

 

_ pidgerino changed mattack’s name to ms. _

_ pidgerino changed their name to ka. _

_ pidgerino changed tshirogane ‘s name to ts. _

_ pidgerino changed Sharpshooter ‘s name to la. _

_ pidgerino changed Allurable’s name to aa. _

_ pidgerino changed hunkindonuts ‘s name to hg. _

_ pidgerino changed balmerina ‘s name to sa. _

 

**ka:** yes. lets.

**ms:** aight kok t or d

**kok:** truth

**ms:** do you have a crush on lance

**kok:**  no. next.

**ms:** you cant lie so um whats the punishment

**ka:** take off an article of clothing

**kok:** WHAT

**ka:** shirt. off. now. you cheated.

 

_ la changed the chat name to  _ **_strip or dare_ **

 

**ms:** YES

**kok:** fine there screw you lance are you ready?

**la:** always ;)

**kok:** i dare you to put one of pidges toes in your mouth

**la:** suddenly my shirt is off????

**ka:** weak but anyway

**la:** hey allura ;)

**aa:** What do you want me to do?

**la:** i dare you to kiss my cheek?

**aa:** It seems as though my sweatshirt has vanished?

**kok:** HIS ISNT FAIR SHE ALWAYS WEARS 2384937250 LAYERS

**la:** SHE ATES ME  </3

**ts:** you guys cant spell and youre seniors in high school? sure jan.

**ms:** my boyfriend

**aa:** Anyway… Matthew’s boyfriend?

**ts:** im scared

**aa:** I dare you to…

**ms:** why must she always call me matthew

**aa:** Lock Matthew outside.

**ts:** SOLD

**ka:** the evil is defeated

 

_ 5:32 _

**hunkindonuts > balmerina**

 

**hunkindonuts:** if we stay quiet they cant get us

**balmerina:** deal.

 

_ 5:35 _

**strip or dare**

 

**ms:** how long am i gonna be out here?

**ka:** good question. i only have so much time to permanently lock him out

**aa:** I didn’t consider that thought.

**aa:** Until 1800

**ms:** FUCK

**ts:** lancugage 

**ms:** spelling.

**la:** suck my ass shiro

**kok:** LANGUGAGE

**ka:** WHY CAN NONE OF YOU SPELL

**ms:** bc theyre all gay

**ka:** youre gay too?

**ms:** FAKE NEWS im bi

**ka:** half gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i said that the last chapter was filler bUT SO IS THIS IDK?? its all filler theres no point theres no character arcs this is a shit show
> 
> ALSO if any of you were wondering where daddy lotor is? im trying my best to transition him into here... it might be a few chapters sinc e these losers are trying to play truth or dare over text


	20. shiros penis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shiro, yet again, exposed for being a meme

_ 5:40 _

**strip or dare**

 

**aa:** Anyway, whose turn is it?

**ka:** it me -_-

**ms:** die

**ts:** bye

**ka:** hi shiro

**ts:** die

**ms:** bye

**ka:** expose to us via censored picture how big ur dick actually is

**ts:** THATS 

**ts:** YOURE 14

**ts:** that is illegal???

**ka:** duh thats why youre censoring it

**la:** omfg,

 

_ (ts sent 1 image). _

 

**la:** LI ES??????

**aa:** I’m afraid not.

**ms:** ^^

**ts:** I hate you Katie Anne Holt.

**ts:** but anyway i dare keith to say his favorite thing about lance

**kok:** thats a truth question put into dare form you cant do that

**la:** then strip coward

**kok:** oWOW

**ms:** OWO?

**ts:** NO

**kok:** but uh… lance is. lance is really smart and considerate and he always cares even if nobody else does

**la:** omg

 

_ 5:51 _

**Sharpshooter > keith.k**

 

**Sharpshooter:** ARE YOU LYING?

**keith.k:** no?????

**Sharpshooter:** that was

**Sharpshooter:** really sweet

**Sharpshooter:** thank you :,)

**keith.k:** who the fuck types smiley faces like that

**keith.k:** never mind dont answer that

**Sharpshooter:** IM TRYING TO BE GENUINE AFTER YOU WERE SO NICE TO ME WT F

**Sharpshooter:** oh

**Sharpshooter:** anyway uh. its youre turn to go and they might get sus so

**keith.k:** right

 

_ 5:53 _

**strip or dare**

 

**kok:** whatever k pidge

**ka:** spineless curr

**kok:** WHY ME

**ka:** i only tell the truth

**kok:** ok then i dare you to tell us all what matt and shiro talk about during sex

**ka:** easy

**ka:** matt called him daddy once and then

**ms:** DONT

**ka:** it went dead silent and i heard shiro whisper “if you call me daddy again imma fucken rip your face off bithc” and slap his chest like in the vine

**la:** LJSDLKFJDGJLJJJJFJFJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

**kok:** ASJFLK

**ms:** ARE YOU GONNA FINISH THE SOTRY

**ka:** i wasnt but i will

**ka:** and matt goes “what did i do”

**ka:** so shiro YELLS AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS

**ka:** (parents werent home)

**ka: “** IM NOT YOUR DADDY”

**ka:** and i think matt fell off of somethign after that idk

**ka:** anyway matt i dare you to tell us your biggest kink

**ms:** IM OUTSIDE I CANT STRIP ITS C O L D YOU BITCH

**ms:** but im shirtless suddenly now idk help

**aa:** Actually, it’s currently 1801, so you can let him inside.

**ms:** freedom

**ms:** hey queen b i dare you to uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fucken

**ms:** call a pizza joint and order boneless pizza

**ms:** and use the voice

**aa:** Oh dear…

**ms:** wait errybody group up so we can all hear it

 

_ 6:12 _

 

**aa:** I am embarrassed. My family is embarrassed. I’ve disgraced my lineage.

**la:** HOW DID THE PIZZA GUY KNOW YOU

**aa:** We go to school together.

**la:** wtf but u go to school so far away?

**aa:** His father is also a brilliant entrepreneur. His father and mine used to work together before parting ways due to conflicting ideas.

**ts:** EW THAT WAS HIM?

**aa:** Yes, that was him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who is the pizza man? what is matts biggest kink? how big IS shiros dick? owo whats this? is klance finally canon? all these questions and more, find out soon (probably not)


	21. keith finally commits to his cowfolk heritage?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @ anybody waiting for lotor
> 
> your time is here

_ 6:15 _

**strip or dare**

 

**la:** m gonna fight him who is HE

**aa:** Do you want his username so you can talk to him yourself?

**la:** bls

 

_ 6:17 _

**Allurable > Sharpshooter**

 

**Allurable:** His username is Lotor.Daibazaal

**Sharpshooter:** thank

 

_ 6:20 _

**Sharpshooter > Lotor.Daibazaal**

 

**Sharpshooter:** LOREAL DRAGONBALL

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Who are you

**Sharpshooter:** mnames lance

**Sharpshooter:** n im here to tell YOU

**Sharpshooter:** mind you DAMN MOTHAFUCKEN BUSINESS BITCH

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Before you continue quoting Kevin Hart

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** What is this about

**Sharpshooter:** Allura

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Allura

**Sharpshooter:** stay away from my KWEEN

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** She is in my courses I can’t just stay away

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** And who are you to demand such

**Sharpshooter:** I am Her Second Cousin and bff

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** I see

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Anyway. I won’t bother you again, Lance

**Sharpshooter:** Betta naht

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Goodbye, 6th Grade Boy

**Sharpshooter:** UM!?!??

 

_ 6:28 _

**Strip or dare**

 

**la:** HE CALLED ME 12 IN A SOPHISTICATED WAY

 

_ (la sent 1 image) _

 

**ka:** LMFAO

**kok:** “betta naht”

**kok:** it all makes sense now

**la:** gkkfjfjjfjjjjj YOU WERE NICE 20 MINUTEA GOES

**kok:** dont remember

**ka:** omg yknow what this game is over i dare keith and lance to FUCK

**ka:** RIGHT NOW

**kok:** YOURE IN THE ROOM

**hg:** did you just imply you would if pidge wasnt there ?

**sa:** hehehehehehehehehehe

**la:** keith

**kok:** lance

**ka:** gross

 

_ 7:23 _

 

_ ms changed the chat name to  _ **take me to church**

_ ms changed ka ‘s name to pidgerino. _

_ ms changed ts ‘s name to shiros scar. _

_ ms changed aa ‘s name to Allurable. _

_ ms changed la ‘s name to Sharpshooter. _

_ ms changed hg ‘s name to hunkindonuts. _

_ ms changed sa ‘s name to balmerina. _

_ ms changed their name to matthews scar. _

 

**shiros scar:** did they make out?

**matthews scar:** go check im scared

**Allurable:** You are his guardian.

**siros scar:** youre lance’s second cousin

**Allurable:** I don’t have legal ownership over him.

**pidgerino:** yeah shiro go see if they banged

**tshirogane:** awful, all of you.

 

_ 7:31 _

 

**shiros scar:** @klance get UP stop DOING IT

**matthews scar:** oml

**Sharpshooter:** STOP WE AINT BANG BANG

**kok:** why didnt my name change?

**matthews scar:** its what she deserves

**kok:** we didnt make out

**kok:** or anything like that

**pidgerino:** did yallst hold hands

**kok:** stop mocking the texan way

**pidgerino:** so you admit your roots?

**shiros scar:** hes Not Texan he’s korean keith stop trying to make me a cowboy

 

_ pidgerino changed shiros scar ‘s name to COWBOY. _

 

**COWBOY:** N o,

 

_ COWBOY SHIRO changed their name to shiro. _

  
**shiro:** awful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me interacting with the readers and seeing new lovely comments because i love you all:   
> https://ton.twitter.com/1.1/ton/data/dm/971575953628516358/971575944250052608/un3xfbga.jpg


	22. brogane culture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> matt and alluras back stories? also keith becomes prepared to become employed but how will lance take that?

_ 9:24 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** wait so hold on matt

**Sharpshooter:** Why Did you get your Eyes Fixed ™

**matthews scar:** OH lmao

**matthews scar:** when i went to uni i was like “yo pappi im gonna go into space”

**pidgerino:** like a nerd

**kok:** like lance

**matthews scar:** AND MY DAD GOES “NOT WITH THOSE GLASSES YOU AINT”

**matthews scar:** next thing i knew i was in a chair at lasik plus

**kok:** what a thrilling story with a stunning conclusion

**matthews scar:** you act like im joking but im not

**pidgerino:** its tru one day he came home blinder than ever and then he was fine

**hunkindonuts:** i love how fast you guys change conversation

**hunkindonuts:** its like lance and keith didnt just make out or something

**Sharpshooter:** bc we didnt?

**Sharpshooter:** im a GOOD CATHOLIC BOY

**hunkindonuts:** when was the last time you were in a church

**Sharpshooter:** .

**pidgerino:** owned by the guy who avoids the chat in one slay lance is Deceased

**hunkindonuts:** he calls himself a catholic but ? his family isnt very religious

**hunkindonuts:** one time his grandma was at his house and his entire family faked a dinner time prayer so they wouldnt get busted by an old lady for not going to church

**pidgerino:** LFJDJFJJ HIS PARENTS?

**hunkindonuts:** THEY STARTED IT AND WARNED ME NOT TO SAY ANYTHING

**balmerina:** the mcclains are WILD

**hunkindonuts:** marco almost blew the cover too omg

**hunkindonuts:** lances lil bro almost straight up asked why jesus ate with only 12 people

**hunkindonuts:** he said “jesus ate with 12 people but”

**hunkindonuts:** and then idk i think veronica smacked him because he shrieked and shut up

**Sharpshooter:** stop exposing my family 

**Allurable:** The Mcclain family is a wild one according to my father.

**Allurable:** I’ve heard tales from my father’s childhood about his cousin (Lance’s father).

**balmerina:** wait if your dad and lances dad are cousins how come they dont have the same last name

**Allurable:** My grandmother was and Lance’s grandfather were siblings I believe.

**Allurable:** My grandmother married into the Altea family and, funnily enough, I am the first born daughter in the bloodline after 4 generations.

**balmerina:** ????

**Allurable:** It’s sort of a tradition in my family to only have one child? Strange sounding, I know, but there’ve always been boys, so there was no need to continue.

**Allurable:** When I was born, my mother grew greatly ill and couldn’t have another.

**Allurable:** Even if the rest of the family wanted a boy to carry the name, it was hardly possible.

**balmerina:** so whatre you gonna do?

**Allurable:** Marry somebody who will adopt my surname instead.

**balmerina:** ICON

**matthews scar:** man shiro bit a fucken bullet hes gonna b stuck with HOLT now smh

**shiro:** thats gay culture right there

**matthews scar:** ur bi

**shiro:** thats gay culture right there

**Sharpshooter:** i just watched allura explain her entire HISTORY and shiro just comes in with gay culture and honestly?

**kok:** thats gay culture

**pidgerino:** its brogane culture at this point

**Sharpshooter:** BROGANE CULTURE IS POINTING OUT WHAT GAY CULTURE IS

**kok:** also i logged in to tell everybody some news but you were all talking about gay culture so its not important anymore

**Sharpshooter:** news??????? tell us!!!!!

**hunkindonuts:** dude keith please we are. im done with this gay culture

**shiro:** thats straight culture

**hunkindonuts:** WHY SHIRO

**kok:** ok um well

**kok:** i have a job? interview.

**kok:** at taco bell (oops)

**pidgerino:** TACO BELL IS GAY CULTURE?

**kok:** yeah

**Sharpshooter:** KEITH HAS A JOB???

**Sharpshooter:** im gonna work at tb too bye

**shiro:** since when WASNT taco bell gay culture

**pidgerino:** taco bell is queer culture

**matthews scar:** im quitting my job and as soon as my leg is healed im gonna go work at tb fr

**matthews scar:** shiro u too quit ur job for tb

**shiro:** no thx i make 12 an hour

**matthews scar:** FUCK man WORK AT TACO BELL TOO

**shiro:** 2 jobs? no thx

**matthews scar:** thats 12 an hour PLUS whatever u can bank at tb during night shifts with m e

**shiro:** somebody has to watch keith and it will Not be Lance

**Sharpshooter:** cursed

**shiro:** im staying at my job. let the high schoolers work fast food, im good

**matthews scar:** Hey. Allura?

**Allurable:** Never.

**matthews scar:** NO i mean tell pizza boy to join the gay culture

**pidgerino:** im quitting

**matthews scar:** quitting what ya fucken corn fungus

**pidgerino:** the holt family probs

**Sharpshooter:** if loreal paris ever steps foot into the taco baco i will slaughter

**kok:** “taco baco”

**Sharpshooter:** its a meme 

**matthews scar:** he doesnt even know taco baco i wont allow you to date such a fiend

**kok:** we arent dating

**pidgerino:** YOU LITERALLY WENT ON A DATE LIKE NOT EVEN 2 WEEKS AGO?????

**kok:** That was. A dAte?

**Sharpshooter:** I actually hope you get mauled by a cryptic and dont live to tell the tale

**kok:** D:

**matthews scar:** a gay culture equivalent of “then perish”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what on earth is my consistency?? i just started spring break so this fic will either be a happy constant for at least a week or itll die out as fast as it returned


	23. the casual ambiance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidge is still really weird but also ?

_ 11:39 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** i love 

**pidgerino:** keith

**shiro:** Go to Bed

**Sharpshooter:** ramen noodle

**shiro:** same

**pidgerino:** moderino

**Sharpshooter:** what is it with you and the suffix -ino

**pidgerino:** casual ambiance 

**shiro:** sleep its almost midnight

**Sharpshooter:** the night is young and same

**pidgerino:** did you jsut use same in place of ‘so am i’

**Sharpshooter:** it means the same thing

**pidgerino:** i fucking hate you lance mcclain

**Sharpshooter:** keith doesnt

**pidgerino:** its different hes ur boyfriend

**Sharpshooter:** he is my BF!

**Sharpshooter:** best friend

**shiro:** one sec

 

_ 11:48 _

**tshirogane > keith.k**

 

**tshirogane:** is lance your boyfriend

**keith.k:** go away

**keith.k:** what are you waking me up for

**keith.k:** if this isnt important im leaving this house

**tshirogane:** if you tell me the truth i will buy you new gloves

**keith.k:** why gloves and not something cool

**tshirogane:** the switchblade from that pawn shop?

**keith.k:** hes my,

**keith.k:** hes.

**tshirogane:** you can say boyfriend its okay

**keith.k:** i dont know what we are we havent ever talked about it

 

_ 11:50 _

**keith.k > Sharpshooter**

 

**keith.k:** lance

**Sharpshooter:** yeah?

**keith.k:** did i wake you up?

**Sharpshooter:** nah, the nights an infant

**keith.k:** then.

**keith.k:** stop being dumb for a second

**Sharpshooter:** wh

**keith.k:** what are we?

**Sharpshooter:** what do you mean

**keith.k:** i mean what are /we/

**Sharpshooter:** Oooh

**Sharpshooter:** i dont know

**Sharpshooter:** what do you want us to be?

**keith.k:** thats what i was gonna ask you

**Sharpshooter:** well keith

**Sharpshooter:** i hope were at Least friends

**keith.k:** we are but i mean.

**keith.k:** what about being …… like.

**Sharpshooter:** more?

**keith.k:** yeah.

**Sharpshooter:** do you

**keith.k:** i mean

**Sharpshooter:** can you

 

_ 12:04 _

 

**keith.k:** lance?

**Sharpshooter:** hey

**keith.k:** can i what?

**Sharpshooter:** unlock your window?

**keith.k:** what

 

_ (Sharpshooter sent 1 image) _

 

**keith.k:** yeah

**keith.k:** ill unlock my window

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KEITH AND LANCE ARE GONNA TALK!!!!
> 
> i wrote this and 24 in one sitting and it pains me to have to post them on different days because chapter 24 is probably my favorite thing ive ever done in this fic
> 
> but also chapter 24 is paragraph format if you couldnt tell so be READY


	24. hey jude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its sunday and that means its klance day

_12:12_

**Sharpshooter > keith.k**

 

**Sharpshooter:** its open?

**keith.k:** yeah just come around back

**Sharpshooter:** thanks

 

When Lance reached the back end of the house, he noticed the blinds of one window pulled up halfway, a dim light peeking through the exposed glass. There was also a small slit between the window and its frame. With a sigh of relief, Lance pushed his phone into his back pocket and approached the window carefully. As his finger tips slid under the crack of the window, he heard footsteps and stopped breathing. He didn’t move until he felt the pressure of the window leave his fingers, seeing Keith’s face on the other side.

“Hey.” His voice was a mere whisper in the night’s air. A breeze nipped at Keith’s nose, turning it a dusty pink which made Lance smile. Neither of them spoke or even moved. Instead, they settled on the eye contact and relishing in each other’s presence. The back of Lance’s mind was screaming at him to not make this awkward, to crack a joke, climb in the window, something. Anything that would ease the tension filling the space between them.

It was in this silence that Lance began hearing the soft music coming from inside the bedroom. The tune was gentle and sounded like a love song. He’s never heard of it before: the melody was slow like a ballad, but the drums filled up the empty spaces to give it more of a rock feel. The first song he connected it to was a more energetic version of _Hey Jude_. Keith’s eyes were searching Lance’s face for any possible way to start a conversation. The longer Lance stood here, though, fingers on the sil, Keith bent over to be just above eye level, the less it felt natural to speak. A moment like this was screaming for actions to take the place of words.

One word came into Lance’s mind. His heart yelled at him, but whatever remaining logic inside his brain was saying not to do that. If Keith doesn’t feel the same it wouldn’t be a good idea to--

Before he could stop himself, Lance’s hands were grabbing hold of the black hoodie, pulling Keith’s torso out of the window and slamming his lips against the latter’s. It wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t smooth, it wasn’t with the climax of the song like a movie would do. It was sloppy, desperate, fast, and startling. The silenced yelp of Keith proved that to be true, and it took the man a few more seconds to register exactly what was happening. But, oh, could Lance tell when he did. The way Keith melted right beneath his lips, turning from glass to water in his hands like bath bomb on a winter evening.

The two settled out of the kiss with sighs of bliss, not moving further than an inch from one another. Their breaths were connected by the gaze in their eyes. Lance was the first to move. He leaned backwards to stand upright, a small, shy smile crossing his lips. Keith reacted slowly, adjusting to be back inside of the window.

Again, they went into a stalemate of stillness. Neither of them had any idea what to say. They were in the middle of a moment; words would only make them fumble and be nervous. Words would interrupt the peace of the silence with estranged noises that weren’t necessary. Any sort of outside noise would break the intimacy of their time. These few minutes were treasured even if it was brimming with so many contradicting emotions.

Before Lance could try to consider formulating a sentence, his phone beeped from his back pocket, prompting him to look at it.

 

_12:20_

**Mom**

Lance? Where did you go? Please come home right now. You need to warn me before you leave.

 

His eyes glanced between his blinding screen and Keith’s dark eyes. They were a lot more calming than the obnoxious white of his messenger app. However, his mother was probably extremely worried. For him to even contemplate if staying here, outside of Keith’s bedroom window, was the better option was to commit unspoken felonies.

With sadness in his expression, Lance backed away from the window. Keith seemed to understand, even though he probably didn’t. He was quick to leave, not wanting to give himself time to turn back. Now, when it’s almost half past town curfew, was not the time to be second guessing decisions and regretting the past hour. Now was the time to return home for the night and apologise to his mom.

Keith, on the other hand, watched Lance round the corner with a tinge of pain in his heart. He knew Lance would have to go home, but he didn’t expect it so soon. At the same time, he felt it was right. Lance’s departure eased him greatly.

He backed away from the window, pushing it shut with one hand as the other reached for his phone on the nightstand. As Keith pulled the blinds shut, his thumb unlocked his phone which opened to his own messaging app. He paused to study the message sent not too long ago by Lance about his oncoming arrival. It was hard for him to imagine that moment only lasted 10 minutes. After all, it felt like an eternity.

Once more, Keith scrolled their conversation before returning to the main screen of all his messages. Right below Lance’s contact was Shiro.

His fingers padded across the keys while a tiny smile settled across his lips, reaching his steady eyes. For at least a minute, Keith stared at the text on his screen. This message could either bring a lot of chaos or nothing at all depending on how Shiro would react.

While he thought about what reaction would come from this, the image of Lance’s smile appeared in his mind. The way his lips curled in the corners which matched the creases in his eyes as they reflected the colors of the night sky just before the sun began rising. His heart skipped a beat inside his chest and reminded him of the pull on his lapels as he was kissed with the force of an army.

Keith shook his head out of the zone and reopened his phone. He released a slow breath and reread the three words on his screen. With a final press of his thumb on a button and the message transferred from the text box to the chat where Shiro would eventually see it for himself.

 

_12:27_

**keith.k > tshirogane**

  
**keith.k:** i think so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING IVE WRITTEN FOR THIS FIC DONT @ ME
> 
> the entire time i was writing this chapter i had May I by Trading Yesterday on loop so if you wanna reread this while listening to that song go balls in. it gives it a softer vibe i think but idk


	25. good morning losers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow this is a lot shorter than i thought it would be

_ 5:33 _

**take me to church**

 

**balmerina:** good morning world and all who inhabit it!

**pidgerino:** good morning shay

**Allurable:** Good morning.

**balmerina:** i hope you all have good days since its monday and monday is worst day

**pidgerino:** on more week until spring break!!!!!!!

**balmerina:** :O!!!

**pidgerino:** :O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Allurable:** My break started today, actually.

**pidgerino:** BUT GIRLS NIGHT?!?

**Allurable:** My university does two weeks of spring break. There is plenty of time for girl’s night.

**pidgerino:** @ god thank you for giving allura such a good life

**balmerina:** bless up

**pidgerino:** BLESS UP I N D E E D

**hunkindonuts:** you guys woke me up an hour before my alarm  >:(

**balmerina:** oh im sorry!

**hunkindonuts:** no its fine

**pidgerino:** cute

**hunkindonuts:** not this early please pidge

**pidgerino:** IT IS

 

_ 6:01 _

 

**Sharpshooter:** fuck you guys

**pidgerino:** good morning lance

**Sharpshooter:** you need to stop spamming the gc at asscrack in the morning

**pidgerino:** im? sorry???

 

_ 6:02 _

**pidgerino > Sharpshooter**

 

**pidgerino:** are you okay?

**Sharpshooter:** woke up grouchy idk

**Sharpshooter:** my bad for snapping at you

**pidgerino:** i was scared bc you sounded like keith for a second

**Sharpshooter:** oh my dog

**pidgerino:** yeah same

**Sharpshooter:** nonono you dont get it 

 

_ 6:05 _

**Sharpshooter > keith.k**

 

**Sharpshooter:** sorry i bailed out last night

 

_ 6:13 _

 

**keith.k:** no it s fine i understand?

**Sharpshooter:** my mom was worried… i got chewed out as soon as i walked in the door

**keith.k:** at least she knows youre okay

**Sharpshooter:** yeah.

 

_ 6:29 _

 

**Sharpshooter:** but it was worth it.

 

_ 6:41 _

**tshirogane > keith.k**

 

**tshirogane:** what?

**keith.k:** nothing

**keith.k:** also, im leaving for a school a little early so im heading out like in 3 minutes

**tshirogane:** ok goodnight

**keith.k:** good morning

 

_ 7:20 _

**take me to church**

 

**matthews scar:** lance comes in and tells yall to shut up and you listen?

**matthews scar:** what is this darwinism?

**Allurable:** I have no idea.

**tshirogane:** its betrayal

**matthews scar:** LMFAO

**Allurable:** Now, please, both of you, shut up. They’re all in class soon and don’t need to start a conversation on here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry i didnt think this was short but it IS and ill make up for it soon i swear
> 
> also i dont kNow if ill post another chapter for a few days? im on holiday and i might not bring my laptop with me (i probably will though lets be real)


	26. lance?? hewwo!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the moms

_ 8:43 _

**take me to church**

 

**hunkindonuts:** hi. not to be a worrier and all but

**hunkindonuts:** has anybody seen lance?

**Allurable:** What do you mean?

**hunkindonuts:** he wasn’t in first period and the teacher said he wasnt excused…

**Allurable:** That’s odd. Lance is usually the one who complains about school. For him to just not show up is out of the ordinary.

**hunkindonuts:** yeah. its got me confused a little since his first three periods are astro, study hall and then physics

**hunkindonuts:** if hed ever skip school itd be the second half of the day

**Allurable:** Well, he could be ill. It is only early-mid March.

**hunkindonuts:** i guess? he doesnt get sick a lot though

**kok:** if hes not in calc hes going to get his ass kciked

**hunkindonuts:** keith pleas

**kok:** no i mean there’s a test today.

**kok:** if hes not in calc hes gonna have to make it up and our calc teacher is a dickwad

**kok:** he always makes tests harder if you have to take it on a different day

**kok:** unless youre redoing it for a higher grade then its easier

**kok:** basically the calc test is gonna be 20% harder for lance

**hunkindonuts:** damn

**pidgerino:** its tru hes a weedass

**pidgerino:** the only reason i had perfect attendance in 8th grade was that class

**hunkindonuts:** WE GET IT UR SMART

**pidgerino:** IM IN THE SAME LEVEL OF MATH AS YOU

**hunkindonuts:** YOURE IN CALC 2 AS A FRESHMAN

**kok:** i hate being friends with smart people

**pidgerino:** wtf you called us ur pals something is hella wrong

**pidgerino:** lace told me to stfu and typed it all out

**pidgerino:** now ur saying u have friends?

**pidgerino:** spooky

**hunkindonuts:** yikes

**shiro:** ge tto class kids

**shiro:** if you guys want to know about lance i can give him a call or something and fill you in

**hunkindonuts:** thanks shiro :-)!

 

_ 8:50 _

**tshirogane > Sharpshooter**

 

**tshirogane:** are you doing alright bud?

 

_ 9:39 _

 

**Sharpshooter:** yeah im just at home today.

**Sharpshooter:** i got a runny nose and my throat barely hurts but my mom said i have to stay home today.

**Sharpshooter:** ya feel?

**Sharpshooter:** its just overprotective mom stuff

**tshirogane:** right

**tshirogane:** so youre not actually sick?

**Sharpshooter:** nah

**tshirogane:** howd you get a runny nose anyway?

**Sharpshooter:** last night i was outside and not dressed properly ig

**tshirogane:** huh.

**tshirogane:** make sure you bundle up next time

**tshirogane:** hunk just about had a heart attack an hour ago

 

_ 11:16 _

**keith.k > Sharpshooter**

 

**keith.k:** where are you

**Sharpshooter:** home. 

**keith.k:** calc test is gonna suck for you

**Sharpshooter:** im over it tbh

**keith.k:** well suit yourself

**keith.k:** why are you home anyway?

**Sharpshooter:** woke up with a runny nose and mom freaked out you know how it is

 

_ 11:32 _

 

**Sharpshooter:** keith??

**keith.k:** i mean i guess

**keith.k:** shiro doesnt do that stuff though

**Sharpshooter:** oh yeah

**Sharpshooter:** are you in class?

**keith.k:** lunch

**Sharpshooter:** ok then can i ask you smth?

**keith.k:** shoot

**Sharpshooter:** how long has shiro been your guardian?

**keith.k:** since i was 11?? around there

**Sharpshooter:** so where exactly are your parents?

**keith.k:** i dunno… all shiro ever told me was that one day my dad showed at shiros college apartment with me in tow and said “here”

**keith.k:** i bet theres more to the story than that but ever since shiro was 18 ive been in his care

**Sharpshooter:** maybe you should talk to him about it?

**Sharpshooter:** if you want to that is

**Sharpshooter:** i mean, you are 18 now

**Sharpshooter:** hes not technically your guardian anymore is he?

**keith.k:** beats me i dont know what the law is

**Sharpshooter:** well. doncha think that since youre 18 now you can find out?

**keith.k:** should*

**Sharpshooter:** yeah.

**keith.k:** can i ask you a question?

**Sharpshooter:** go for it 

**keith.k:** why are you so curious?

**Sharpshooter:** it just suddenly came up?

**Sharpshooter:** like a day or two ago i realized ever since ive known your “parent” was shiro

**Sharpshooter:** and as somebody with a huge ass family to even imagine it being like.

**Sharpshooter:** me and my cousin

**Sharpshooter:** its kinda unimaginable in my life

**keith.k:** polar opposites huh?

**Sharpshooter:** complete north and south

**Sharpshooter:** but hey… opposites attract right?

**keith.k:** wow 

**keith.k:** gtg suddenly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> howd ya get the runny nose huh lance >:3
> 
> ALSO hi keith and shiro angst in the future??? DONT MIND IF I DOSE YALL IN ANGST DO YA?
> 
> its coming in onslaught. tensions are high. thanks klance


	27. queef 3.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IN HONOR OF 69 COMMENTS HERES ANOTHER CHAPTER AHFFKJLFDJLKFJ

_ 3:26 _

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** sup sluts

**Sharpshooter:** stop kinkshaming me

**hunkindonuts:** what

**matthews scar:** im greatly fearful of you all

**hunkindonuts:** WAIT LANCE

**hunkindonuts:** WHERE WERE YA BUDDY

**Sharpshooter:** did shiro not tell you?

**hunkindonuts:** no?

**Sharpshooter:** wOW ok no im home bc my mom

**hunkindonuts:** be there soon tell ur fam

**Sharpshooter:** i think lil marco is outside be careful

**hunkindonuts:** im down to be dogpiled by a bunch of mcclains today

**Sharpshooter:** a BRAVE soul

**shiro:** hey lance

**Sharpshooter:** yes mr responsible

**shiro:** i dont need the sarcasm but i need you to do something

**Sharpshooter:** ???

 

_ 3:30 _

**tshirogane > Sharpshooter**

 

**tshirogane:** can you analyze keith for me?

**Sharpshooter:** what

 

_ (tshirogane sent an image) _

 

**Sharpshooter:** Ah.

**tshirogane:** ah?

**Sharpshooter:** Ah.

 

_ 3:32 _

**Sharpshooter > keith.k**

 

**Sharpshooter:** DID YOU TELL SHIRO

**keith.k:** ARE WE

**Sharpshooter:** damn u right

**keith.k:** oh my god 

**Sharpshooter:** PICK UP UR PHONE RN BUT GO PRIVATE IM EMBARRASS

**keith.k:** bet im staying right in the living room

**Sharpshooter:** u got headphones in?

**keith.k:** i thought you knew me better than this

 

_ Incoming call from Sharpshooter 3:33 _

 

_ Call ended 3:38 _

 

**Sharpshooter:** u is my bf

**keith.k:** not if you keep talking like that

**Sharpshooter:** D:

 

_ 3:42 _

**take me to church**

 

_ Sharpshooter changed kok ‘s name to queef _

 

**queef:** YOURE SINGLE

**Sharpshooter:** ITS BEEN 10 MINUTES?

**queef:** I DONT CARE THIS IS CRUEL

**matthews scar:** wAIT WHA T

**pidgerino:** THEYRE DATING

**matthews scar:** WHO ASKED HWO OUT

**queef:** oh um

**Sharpshooter:** me

**matthews scar:** PAY UP BITCH

**pidgerino:** i hate my ex brother matthew holt

**hunkindonuts:** all these breakups make me afraid suddenly

**Sharpshooter:** smh @ hunk if shay breaks up w u then its your own fault

**hunkindonuts:** LANCE,

**Allurable:** Good grief, you all like to make a racket whenever you can.

**Sharpshooter:** hey b

**Allurable:** Don’t you have a boyfriend?

**Sharpshooter:** idk ask him bc according to him i am single

**queef:** change my name Back Lance

 

_ Sharpshooter changed queef ‘s name to boyfriend _

 

**boyfriend:** why

**Sharpshooter:** you are

**boyfriend:** im not everybodys boyfriend?!??

**Sharpshooter:** GOOD POINT

 

_ Sharpshooter changed boyfriend ‘s name to LANCES bf _

  
**LANCES bf:** jesus help us all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i keep bringing back old memes from like the first 5 chapters STOP ME BEFORE I go too hard oml
> 
> but alSO klance is officially official as of this chapter so how bout dem apples eh


	28. dad who divorced mom but got together with dad 2 and its a happy family again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if you try to tell me allura and matt are not good friens who can rely on each other to talk about their problems you are a coward. and a coward. and if not for the laws of this planet i would have killed you

_ 5:32 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** what up im lance im 17 and im addicted to eating mattresses

**pidgerino:** read the chat name

**matthews scar:** as somebody in this gc whose name used to be mattress i am

**matthews scar:** afraid

 

_ pidgerino changed matthews scar ‘s name to mattress _

_ pidgerino changed Sharpshooter ‘s name to vore _

 

**mattress:** blocked and reported

**vore:** vore x queef otp

 

_ pidgerino changed vore ‘s name to shut up _

 

**shut up:** :(

**mattress:** its what she deserves

**shiro:** what the flick

**pidgerino:** swear you coward

**shiro:** says you

**mattress:** dont push him hes delicate

**mattress:** it hink

**pidgerino:** it hink?

**mattress:** the beast………………………..it hink

**shut up:** stop

**shut up:** thats weird i hate this

**shiro:** theyre holts what more do you expect

**pidgerino:** at least i have high intellect

**shiro:** how far will that get you if somebody sees you sniffing your pencil and then mumbling “cryptid 004 discovered”

**pidgerino:** WHEN HAVE I EVER

**shiro:** soon

**pidgerino:** thats the most terrifying response

 

_ 6:03 _

 

**Allurable:** I hope you are all being responsible.

**mattress:** always

**Allurable:** Not you.

**Allurable:** Those of us still getting an education.

**mattress:** OH LMAO

**mattress:** perks of being 24 means no school

**Allurable:** So says you…

**Allurable:** Anyway, teachers love to assign plenty of homework the week before holiday and into it, so make sure you’re staying on top of things.

 

_ 6:07 _

**mattack > Allurable**

 

**mattack:** allura how much homework did yours profs assign you

**Allurable:** 3 essays all with 1000+ word count and 2 take home tests.

**mattack:** in how long?

**Allurable:** 2 weeks, including time I’ll be spending with my family and friends.

**mattack:** at least you dont have a job?

**Allurable:** At least I do not have a job, yes.

**mattack:** i believe in you. thats only 5 things. if you do one a day, you have 9 days to celebrate your break

**Allurable:** When you put it that way, it’s easy. But I need somebody to proofread all my essays.

**mattack:** shiro probably wouldnt mind, or i would help too

**Allurable:** Do you think both of you could?

**Allurable:** If not, I understand. I don’t want to impede on your personal time.

**mattack:** NAH

**mattack:** if shiro says no imma smack the shit outta him BAM BAM

**Allurable:** Don’t go too harsh on him; I can smack the shit out of him myself, too.

**mattack:** im adding beat up shiro to your break when are you free

**Allurable:** I would immediately open any day in my schedule to beat up Shiro.

**mattack:** THATS the spirit ill let him know to go buy body armor

**Allurable:** Thank you, Matt.

 

_ 6:24 _

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** i love my mom

**Sharpshooter:** i love my mom who divorced my dad but he found another dad so i have 3 parents even though mom is best parent and the only one i listen to

**mattress:** WHY

**shiro:** thats really specific and i dont like it thanks

**pidgerino:** thanks you hate it?

**shiro:** thanks i Fucking hate it

**Sharpshooter:** yikes

**pidgerino:** im gonna guess sensitive topic and move on to making fun of lance

**shiro:** not sensitive topic its just really specific and makes me feel like i was married and stuff

**pidgerino:** ANYWAY KEITH HOW BIG IS LANCES PENIS

**Sharpshooter:** jokes on you he hasnt seen it

**hunkindonuts:** about yea big y’know? like this isnt no plantain or anything impressive but its not a fun size hershey bar either

**pidgerino:** THANKS I FUCKING HATE IT

**shiro:** there it is

**pidgerino:** gtg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it hink was a typo and when i was writing this (at 2am) i thought it was the funniest thing ever im sorry
> 
> also you dont have to rsvp to beat up shiro you can come join the party too


	29. chanting at the demise of shatt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> best mom only mom

_ 6:34 _

**take me to church**

 

**LANCES bf:** why were you talking about lances penis size and why did hunk give actual information

**hunkindonuts:** actually, that was very broad. hershey fun size bars are like 2 inches and plantains are Big

**balmerina:** this is very strange

**balmerina:** of all the topics to log in to see

**hunkindonuts:** fklJJJF

**hunkindonuts:** IM SORRY

**Sharpshooter:** HUNK JUST DID THAT GAY KEYSMASH

**hunkindonuts:** thanks i got it from YOU

**Sharpshooter:** i feel…………………...called out

**hunkindonuts:** you should

**pidgerino:** i love hunk

**balmerina:** oh same

**hunkindonuts:** :O!!!

**Sharpshooter:** fjjfjf

**pidgerino:** we get it ur gay

**balmerina:** smh lance its ok we know

**Sharpshooter:** this offends me

**mattress:** oml

**Sharpshooter:** MATT PLS DONT

**mattress:** tbt to when you wanted to eat me

**pidgerino:** throwback to to when

**mattress:** its a dialect

**pidgerino:** one that will get you fired by any serious employer

**mattress:** good thing im gonna work in shitty jobs my whole life

**pidgerino:** mom and dad would never

**mattress:** FUCK dad would hire me wouldnt he

**shiro:** haha you have to work with your dad

**mattress:** mh at least ill know what its like

**shiro:** dont even think about going there

**mattress:** i just did

**shiro:** at least i get to live on my own because i can pay my rent on time

**shiro:** and can feed another mouth solely based on My employment

**mattress:** okay well who has all the debt?

**shiro:** at least i know how to budget enough so i can pay it off

**mattress:** at least i have a family to live with

**Allurable:** Stop it.

**Allurable:** I thought you two were better than this.

**Allurable:** You’re being extremely childish right now, and I’m not going to sit here and let it tear you both apart.

**Allurable:** Matt, you didn’t need to snap back at Shiro like that over something he couldn’t control.

**Allurable:** Shiro, you didn’t need to fight him on it. Especially after you’d already warned him.

**Allurable:** Now, excuse me, but I will be conference calling you both to make sure the air is cleared and I want true, honest apologies.

**Allurable:** There was no need for this to happen,  but you’ve move my hand and I’m stepping in. I apologise.

 

_ Incoming call from Allurable 6:49 _

 

_ Call ended 7:21 _

 

**Allurable:** Thank you.

**Allurable:** I apologise to the rest of you about that.

**shiro:** I stepped out of line, its not your fault Allura

**mattress:** same

**mattress:** i didnt need to be snarky

**Sharpshooter:** are

**Sharpshooter:** are dad and dad back together?

**shiro:** yeah

**mattress:** nice ok im coming over kick keith out

**LANCES bf:** EW

**LANCES bf:** N o i was here first?

**shiro:** and?

**LANCES bf:** lance

**Sharpshooter:** bby pls

**LANCES bf:** look at my situation

**Sharpshooter:** asking my mom rn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE WHEN SHIRO AND MATT FIGHT IT DIDNt hurt at all to type :-)
> 
> all of this is leading up to some Shit Ass of a long chapter i swear this whole brogane parents ordeal is gonna unfold Someday


	30. HOLD ON IM SCROLLING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidge is never wrong, can predict the imminent, and shiro has to go and fuck it all up

_7:53_

**take me to church**

 

 **shiro:** I CANT BELIEVE LANCE ACTUALLY CAME OVER

 **LANCES bf:** go have makeup sex somewhere else i am trying to be a human

 **shiro:** this is why mom never FUCKING loved you

 **LANCES bf:** DONT MEME AT ME THIS IS SERIOUS

 **pidgerino:** no STOp record it let them have coitus

 **mattress:** im leaving immediately

 **pidgerino:** ill tell dad

 **mattress:** they already know were dating what do they expect?

 **pidgerino:** not sex until marriage

 **mattress:** im a horny boi

 **pidgerino:** KICK HIM OUT I SAID THIS SHIT ON DAY UCKING ONE

 **pidgerino:** HOLD ON IM SCROLLING BITCHES

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/160322876@N06/26992429688/in/dateposted-public/)

**pidgerino:** FUCK YOU

 

_pidgerino has removed mattress_

 

_shiro has added mattress_

 

 **mattress:** i hate this family

 **Sharpshooter:** omfglfljdsjfjfsd

 **LANCES bf:** i told you he was coming over and now we are in my room

 **mattress:** no sex

 **LANCES bf:** i didnt plan on it??

 **Sharpshooter:** Ah.

 **shiro:** w h y

 

_8:22_

**tshirogane > keith.k**

 

 **tshirogane:** did you two actually do anything

 **keith.k:** no

 **keith.k:** its way too soon to do anything like that

 **tshirogane:** i can accept that

 **keith.k:** yeah

 **tshirogane:** did you talk to lance about that or was it just a not today thing

 **keith.k:** no we kinda talked about it and decided we should go on more dates and work our way into kissing and stuff

 **tshirogane:** good. dont think you have to follow the paces of other relationships or let alone lance’s pace.

 **tshirogane:** its a personal matter and lance cares about you so hell respect your boundaries so long as you respect his

 **keith.k:** gee thanks dad

 **tshirogane:** did you two eat?

 **keith.k:** nnnnnnno.

 **tshirogane:** take out?

 **keith.k:** in our japanese+japanese-korean household?

 **keith.k:** hell yeah

 **tshirogane:** ok ill be back in like 20 minutes dont let lance leave without him eating

 **keith.k:** roger that binch

 **tshirogane:** excuse me

 **keith.k:** that was lance im sorry

 **keith.k:** its true ^

 **tshirogane:** great.

 

_8:45_

**take me to church**

 

 **balmerina:** google what is physics

 **pidgerino:** its a phase

 **hunkindonuts:** iTS DUMB

 **balmerina:** ARE YOU DOING THE HOMEWORK!?!

 **hunkindonuts:** WHAT THE FLIP IS NUMBER 6

 **balmerina:** o.

 **balmerina:** im on 2

 **hunkindonuts:** OH i get that one hold on

 **Sharpshooter:** PHYSISCS HOMEWORK?!

 **hunkindonuts:** did you forget

 **Sharpshooter:** yes??

 **hunkindonuts:** ill send you the answers lazy bones

 **Sharpshooter:** im at the broganes its different

 **hunkindonuts:** dates with your boyfriend and his cousin and his boyfriend isnt an excuse

 **hunkindonuts:** also shay look at the formula sheet halfway down thatll help

 **balmerina:** OH i see

 **balmerina:** thanks!

 **hunkindonuts:** im gonna stop at 6 so just tell me when you get there?

 **balmerina:** Yeah! will do.

 **pidgerino:** yall do realize im in ap and can probably answer ur questions

 **hunkindonuts:** youre too smart for us

 **pidgerino:** geezzzzzzz

**Sharpshooter:** wait why are we doing homework its saturday before spring break??

**hunkindonuts:** to get it done idk

**balmerina:** i forgot about spring break…..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i spent like a hour trying to get that image created i SLAVED over that fcken stupid image and thats why the rest of the chapter is SHIT


	31. ren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GIRLS NIGHT GIRLS NIGHT

_ 10:34 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** BItCHES spering break is SOON im shook

**shiro:** areyou okay?

**Sharpshooter:** IYEAH?

**shiro:** your typing says otherwise

**Sharpshooter:** BITCH ists psring break

**shiro:** does anybody know if lance does drugs or alcohol

**pidgerino:** “does alcohol”

**shiro:** YEAH

**Sharpshooter:** IMF UCKEN HYPE and keith is on m e

**Sharpshooter:** was

**shiro:** OH thats right hes there 

**Sharpshooter:** we are Down the Hall

**shiro:** its 10 at night give me a break

**Sharpshooter:** then give me a break

**pidgerino:** STOP jfjfjfj im tired

**Sharpshooter:** its 10 at night

**pidgerino:** i stayed up all night last night srry

**shiro:** go to bed pidge

**shiro:** and lance

**Sharpshooter:** go home?

**shiro:** unless youre allowed to stay idk i mean i fed you what more can i do

**Sharpshooter:** calling my mom rn bye

**shiro:** big miss take

**mattress:** miss steak, shiro

**shiro:** yeah

**Sharpshooter:** guess who is spending a night

**shiro:** and then going home like a real child would

**Sharpshooter:** THIS GUY

**mattress:** not this guy

**shiro:** nobody needed your input matt

**mattress:** fine

 

_ 10:56 _

_ Allurable added pigerino, balmerina to  _ **_Girl’s Night_ **

 

**Allurable:** We need to discuss these plans.

**balmerina:** we do!!!

**pidgerino:** YESSS

**Allurable:** We can talk more in depth tomorrow, but we can brainstorm tonight a little.

**pidgerino:** i want food

**Allurable:** Food is definitely on the agenda.

**balmerina:** highkey vote for mall day

**pidgerino:** shopping trip???

**Allurable:** I am always happy to go to a mall… But if we plan to spend an entire day at a mall it has to be big enough.

**pidgerino:** ill do some research

**balmerina:** google most enticing mall in our area please we are just some Girls who wanna have fun

**Allurable:** I’ll provide transportation for you both, as well, so you don’t have to worry.

**pidgerino:** my moms gonna cry at me for this

**Allurable:** Your mother can come?

**pidgerino:** NAH

**pidgerino:** she makes me try on weird stuff. this is Girls Night

**balmerina:** it turned into Girls Day Out very fast

 

_ Allurable changed the chat name to  _ **_Girls_ **

 

**pidgerino:** i love it

**Allurable:** That was a mistake, but it can slide.

**balmerina:** allura you dont have to be so Proper with us.

**Allurable:** Force of habbit.

**pidgerino:** we stan an elegant queen

**balmerina:** WE STAN

 

_ balmerina changed Allurable ’s name to elegant queen _

_ balmerina changed pidgerino ‘s name to nerdy queen _

_ balmerina changd their name to rock queen _

 

**rock queen:** we cant have 2 nerdy queens so hello its me

**elegant queen:** I like it.

**nerdy queen:** its us. ren

**rock queen:** codename:  ren

**nerdy queen:** we can talk in code at the boys now

**rock queen:** i love it

**elegant queen:** They must never know what ren is.

 

_ elegant queen changed the chat name to  _ **_ren_ **

 

**nerdy queen:** its beautiful

**rock queen:** polished to perfection

**elegant queen:**  Marvelous.

**nerdy queen:** MARVELOUS INDEED

**rock queen:** us.

 

_ nerdy queen sent a gif _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love the girls :) they need love too.
> 
> EDIT hi i just want to say thank you for putting up with this BS and also please be my friend :,)


	32. t;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> let the record show the true colors of matthew s holt

_ 5:23 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** FJAFJ MY ALARM WENT OFF BUT ITS BREAK

**pidgerino:** SAME AFLJD i FOGOT

**Sharpshooter:** goodnight pidge

**pidgerino:** good night lance

 

_ 6:32 _

 

**hunkindonuts:** oh me too oops

 

_ 9:04 _

 

**shiro:** must be nice not having to wake up for labor hours

**mattress:** REAL LABOR HOURS

**shiro:** you were supposed to clock in at 9

**mattress:** oh no

 

_ 10:28 _

 

**pidgerino:** I LOVE WATCHING MATT FAIL ADULTHOOD

**shiro:** thankfully he slept in actual day clothes so he didnt have to do anything drastic to take forever

**pidgerino:** how late was he?

**shiro:** 15 minutes. his boss somehow believed it was because of his leg

**pidgerino:** fucking broken bitch

**shiro:** yeah

 

_ 11:21 _

 

**LANCES bf:** when does he even get the cast off

**shiro:** good question

**shiro:** i dont think he knows either

**LANCES bf:** how long has it been?

**shiro:** i think?? its been like 9 weeks

**LANCES bf:** shouldnt it be off by now then?

**shiro:** yeah ok im calling sam

**LANCES bf:** the holts are an incredible breed

**shiro:** definitely a breed, thats for sure.

 

_ 11:35 _

 

**shiro:** sam is scheduling an appointment. i dont know how they all managed to forget. hes been in a Cast for 9 weeks. not even a boot yet.

**shiro:** matts been on crutches for 9 weeks with a neon orange thing around his foot for over 2 months and nobody did anything

**LANCES bf:** how has he not gnawed it off?

**pidgerino:** HOW HAVE YALL FUCKED

**shiro:** WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ASK THE WEIRD QUESTIONS

**shiro:** I EXPECT IT FROM LANCE BUT NOT YOU?

**pidgerino:** somebody has to

**shiro:** no?

 

_ 1:16 _

 

**mattress:** hi im on break and?

**mattress:** i m a bottom

**pidgerino:** twink ass

**mattress:** AJFJLKDJFJLFSDJL

**mattress:** IVE BEEn ATTACKED

**shiro:** this exposes us both you know

 

_ pidgerino changed mattress ‘s name to TWINK _

_TWINK_ _changed their name to mattress_

 

**pidgerino:** i tried :(

**mattress:** stop exposing me allura will see

**Allurable:** I’ve been seeing it all happen the whole time.

**mattress:** AJFLKDJLJKFLJKLJFKJLKDSJL

 

_ mattress left  _ **_take me to church_ **

_ shiro added mattack to  _ **_take me to church_ **

_ mattack changed their name to mattress _

 

**mattress:** this is all very nice but if we could not call me a twink ever again i appreciate it thanks

**pidgerino:** i cannot make promises but i can say yeah

**shiro:** twink

**mattress:** im texting my dad rn

**mattress:** and then im going back to work

**mattress:** fuck you

**pidgerino:** coward

**mattress:** im coming holme righ now

**shiro:** no you arent get back to going checkout aisles cripple

**mattress:** STOP ITS NOT EVEN BROKEN ANYMORE

**shiro:** what did i just say

**mattress:** yes dad

**pidgerino:** STOP TWINK

**mattress:** t;)

**pidgerino:** .

**shiro:** did you just blanktext him

**shiro:** did

**shiro:** OH

**shiro:** t wink

**shiro:** haha

**shiro:** cute

**shiro:** get back to work you dunce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shiro, a supportive boyfriend, but definitely a constantly baffled one. i dont think he will ever unlock all of matts traits because theres just too many hiding inside of him
> 
> also im sorry to self promo but i have to plug my tumblr and twitter here AT LEAST once and this is a good time to do it hi i have a social blade (no i dont)  
> if you wanna actually chat me up and be pals or something my tumgler is @vargastxt and my twitter is @justkeebo thank you for reading this gigantic actual mess of writing i appreciate it a lot. it lets me procrastinate.
> 
> BITCH EH-DIHT!!!: 100 kudos to 420 if we can get there i will go balls in and post two chapters again (thats not balls in but its a treat)


	33. velcro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> matthew finally gets his boot and also space camp antics

_ 5:21 _

**take me to church**

 

**LANCES bf:** is lance even alive

**hunkindonuts:** i dont know

**LANCES bf:** HUNK

**hunkindonuts:** IMS ORRY HOLD ON

**hunkindonuts:** im gonna go over to his house and check it out

 

_ 6:02 _

 

**Sharpshooter:** WHEN YOU GO BIG TIME

**LANCES bf:** hes alive

**Sharpshooter:** HUNK CAME OVER AND PLAYED BIG TIME RUSH IN MY EAR

**hunkindonuts:** he physically raised from the dead and started dancing it was hilarious

 

_ hunkindonuts sent 1 video _

 

**LANCES bf:** ofsdlfjsdlfj

**pidgerino:** im saving that

**mattress:** hi im in a boot

**Sharpshooter:** its been 2 months?

**mattress:** i know the doc was like “well i mean i Guess its good enough?” and gave me the velcro boot

**shiro:** he sent me a video of the velcro noise

**mattress:** without velcro we couldnt have space travel

**shiro:** we know

**shiro:** literally everybody here has a fascination in science and most of us indulge in space and astronomy a lot

**shiro:** its why were friends

**mattress:** YKNOW WHAT MISTER “i went to space camp 5 years in a row”??!?

**shiro:** what mister “i went to space camp and met my future boyfriend who was also my boyfriend at the time i went”?

**pidgerino:** what

**mattress:** nothing

**shiro:** nothing

**pidgerino:** matt you went to space camp your freshmen year in hs

**mattress:** yeah

**pidgerino:** and you dated shiro??

**mattress:** ITS A LONG STORY

**shiro:** they dont need to know it

**pidgerino:** dm or else suffer

 

_ 6:12 _

**mattack > pidgerino**

 

**mattack:** ok so like when i went to space camp shiro was like PRO and we were roomies 

**mattack:** and we sort of uh

**mattack:** fucked

**pidgerino:** WHY

**mattack:** we were horny teenage boys

**pidgerino:** where was allura in all of this??

**mattack:** shiro didnt date allura until like soph year idk maybe junior year

**mattack:** allura was there tho but we didnt know her

**pidgerino:** i still cant believe you guys all went to the same high school but didnt know each other until you went to Space Camp

**mattack:** crazy 

**mattack:** but YEAH lol

**mattack:** shiro went to space camp 8th-12th

**mattack:** i went 9th

**mattack:** allura went 9-11

**pidgerino:** i love how you, the “future nasa employee”, only went to space camp once

**pidgerino:** hold on i wanna talk to allura

**pidgerino:** isnt she going medical now?

**mattack:** i actually dont know

**pidgerino:** nah i wont bother her abt this

**mattack:** good plan

 

_ 6:20 _

**take me to church**

 

**LANCES bf:** why didnt you let me go to space camp you greedy bitch

**shiro:** YOU DIDNT ASK??

**LANCES bf:** I DIDNT?

**shiro:** NO

**hunkindonuts:** amazing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI I THOUGHT ITD BE FUN TO WRITE LITTLE ONE SHOTS BASED ON THIS FIC SO THERES A SERIES IN THE WORKS. i wrote a blast to the past cute lil shallura thing but im gonna write more klance and shatt antics. throw in some other groovy bits yknow how it is.


	34. tamale night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i painted my nails klance as i was writing this so i forced my life onto keith thats all

_ 7:32 _

**take me to church**

 

**balmerina:** so anyway hello

**balmerina:** @ ren

**Sharpshooter:** ren????

 

_ 7:35 _

**ren**

 

**rock queen:** hello ladies

**nerdy queen:** me

**elegant queen:** Hello.

**rock queen:** what Day

**elegant queen:** We are all officially on holiday.

**elegant queen:** And it is Wednesday.

**nerdy queen:** it is wednesday my dudes

**elegant queen:** It is Wednesday, so how about we get together tomorrow? Or Friday is okay, too.

**rock queen:** pidge???

**nerdy queen:** friday is the fun day and mall is open later since the day after that is a WEEKEND   
**elegant queen:** Oh! That’s a great point. Did you ever discover which mall is the best option?

**nerdy queen:** ohoho i did. but tis a surprise my dudes

**rock queen:** we are the dudes

**elegant queen:** We are.

**elegant queen:** So, I will pick the both of you up on Friday morning. Pidge can GPS the directions so we don’t know where we are headed. Does that sound like a plan?

**nerdy queen:** I LOVE MOM

**rock queen:** I LOVE MOM TOO

**elegant queen:** Splendid!

 

_ 7:47 _

**take me to church**

 

**balmerina:** you dont know what ren is???

**Sharpshooter:** im gonna google it bye

**pidgerino:** you do that

**LANCES bf:** stop being cryptid in the group chat

**pidgerino:** sorry force of habit

**LANCES bf:** i understand its ok

 

_ 7:50 _

**Sharpshooter > keith.k**

 

**Sharpshooter:** CBABE come over

**keith.k:** why?

**Sharpshooter:** mama is makin tamales and you dont wanna miss

**keith.k:** do. do i have to call her mama?

**Sharpshooter:** NO lol i dont even call her mama 

**Sharpshooter:** just tell shiro ur comin over my mom is already dtd

**keith.k:** dtd?

**Sharpshooter:** down to dine my boy

**keith.k:** sounds good ill talk to shiro and be right over

 

_ 8:22 _

**take me to church**

 

**LANCES bf:** help

**pidgerino:** ???????

**LANCES bf:** his sister is paintin my nails

**hunkindonuts:** OH YOURE AT LANCES HOUSE AHAHA

**hunkindonuts:** let her and you will be on her good side

**LANCES bf:** but its Bright Blue hunk i cant leave this on

**hunkindonuts:** yes you can and will unless you avoid lances house for 2 weeks

**LANCES bf:** im leaving it on

**hunkindonuts:** did she paint lances nails??

**Sharpshooter:** not yet

**hunkindonuts:** nice

**hunkindonuts:** why are you there anyway keith?

**Sharpshooter:** TAMALE NIGHT

**hunkindonuts:** IM HURT

**pidgerino:** WTF IS TAMALE NIGHT

**Sharpshooter:** best night

**hunkindonuts:** next time you TELL me when mamaclain is cooking tamales

**hunkindonuts:** and tell her to make enough for like a lot of extra people?

**hunkindonuts:** NEXT TAMALE NIGHT WE ALL DINE AT THE MCCLAINS

**Sharpshooter:** then tamale night is gonna be a loooong ways away

**Sharpshooter:** and will also have to get gma on board to take these rascals so they dont interfere

**Sharpshooter:** but mom said shed be down

**Sharpshooter:** “its like cooking for you hogs anyway. just a couple extra mouths to feed but that is no problem”

**hunkindonuts:** tell mamaclain to set a date

**Sharpshooter:** WILL DO HUNKAROO

 

_ hunkindonuts changed their name hunkaroo _

 

**Sharpshooter:** i love it :.)

**hunkaroo:** :`)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello ren time is coming i hope you are all READY
> 
> soon


	35. mcdonalds money

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ITS GIRLS DAY this day goes on for a few chapters so BE READY (its a lot of chapters i dont know why)

_ 8:15 _

**ren**

 

**elegant queen:** Wake up ladies! It’s mall day!

**rock queen:** IM WOKE

**nerdy queen:** I A M ALIVE FOR THIS DAY

**elegant queen:** Is it alright if I pick you both up around 10 o’clock?

**elegant queen:** Pidge will be last since the Holt household is furthest away.

**nerdy queen:** IM HYPE

**rock queen:** I HAVE TO GET DRESSED OH BOY

**elegant queen:** You don’t have to be too extravagant!

**elegant queen:** We’ll just be at the mall, after all.

**rock queen:** but if we go into like. vs or eb or something LIT i want to look like i CAN buy their products

**rock queen:** i mean, i can buy vs stuff BUT i want to look like i DONt have to save up for it

**nerdy queen:** shay if you cake ur face i stg

**rock queen:** wyd i always cake it

**elegant queen:** Beautiful.

**rock queen:** cake and bake to raise the stakes

**nerdy queen:** i take back every mean thing ive ever said about you

**rock queen:** HAVE YOU?

**nerdy queen:** no but i mean if that day comes

**elegant queen:** Pidge, are you out of bed yet?

**nerdy queen:** no maam

**elegant queen:** Please eat breakfast. We might be skipping lunch, so you need fuel.

**nerdy queen:** yes maam

 

_ 8:32 _

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** LIT LIT LIT LTI

**mattress:** shut up

**pidgerino:** LIP LIP LIP

**mattress:** lip

**pidgerino:** LICK LICK LICK LICK

**mattress:** I WANNA EAT YOUR DICK

**Sharpshooter:** BUT I CANT FUCK UP MY NAILS

**pidgerino:** SO IMMA PICK IT UP WITH CHOPSTICKS

**mattress:** gay culture

**pidgerino:** im not gay

**mattress:** are you?

**pidgerino:** im? dont know

**mattress:** confirmed

**pidgerino:** CONFIRMED WHAT?

**mattress:** you know

**pidgerino:** I DONT?!?!??

**mattress:** shame

 

_ 9:02 _

 

**shiro:** what the hell

**shiro:** nevermind i dont want to know.

**Allurable:** Neither do I.

**shiro:** they sang cupcakkes deepthroat to the entire group chat at 8 in the morning

**shiro:** i think thats a great example of our whole friend group

**Allurable:** It’s a great example to represent the majority of our group.

**shiro:** not us.

**Allurable:** Not us.

**shiro:** the rest of them

**Allurable:** Not Hunk?

**shiro:** questionable

**LANCES bf:** youre in the group chat

**shiro:** oh

**Allurable:** Interesting statement.

 

_ 9:10 _

**Allurable > tshirogane**

 

**Allurable:** Not Hunk.

**tshirogane:** not hunk

**Allurable:** Everybody else.

**tshirogane:** everyone else?

**tshirogane:** shay?

**Allurable:** Shay.

**tshirogane:** what have you seen..

**Allurable:** A lot.

**tshirogane:** a brave soul

**Allurable:** Thank you for the sympathy. You as well.

**tshirogane:** thank you

**Allurable:** Veterans among the ashes.

**tshirogane:** that we are

 

_ 9:20 _

**ren**

 

**elegant queen:** Are you both almost ready?

**rock queen:** SHOOT ok im getting out of bed now

**elegant queen:** I’m leaving at quarter to, so you have until about 10, Shay.

**nerdy queen:** JJLFJJLS i went back to bed

**elegant queen:** Pidge! Wake up sleepy head!

**nerdy queen:** for you darling i will do anything

**elegant queen:** Thank you. Eat while you’re at it.

**elegant queen:** Both of you.

**elegant queen:** Unless you bring McDonald’s money.

**rock queen:** DID YOU JUST

**rock queen:** YOU SOUND LIKE MY M O M ALLURA

**nerdy queen:** what if ice cream machine broke

**elegant queen:** We aren’t stopping at McDonald’s anyway. You’re crazy if you think I’m doing that.

**rock queen:** AFLKJLFJKDSJ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love ren and tomorrow we get an inside glance at their shopping trip (they dont go to mcdonalds tho)


	36. MALL DAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i love girls

 

_ 9:53 _

**ren**

 

**elegant queen:** Shay, I just pulled up!

**rock queen:** I AM ON MY WAY

**elegant queen:** Next stop is Pidge! Make sure you eat if you haven’t already.

**nerdy queen:** for you? ill eat 2 meals

**elegant queen:** Thank you.

 

The car trip was at least 30 minutes, and that was after Pidge was picked up from her own residence. Luckily, Allura had a need for speed, and Shay knew how to keep them all busy with the radio and her own music library. The three had plenty of sing-alongs on their way to the extremely large mall. As a matter of fact, just trying to find a parking spot blasted them through 2 bonus tracks.

Upon entering the gigantic building, all three were impressed. Several floors of wall to wall shopping and dining. Thank god Pidge actually did eat beforehand, or she’d have spent the whole day right there in the food court. Also, thank god that Allura is a very savvy and experienced shopper. It was like an Ikea in that place. In fact, it probably had at least one Ikea inside it.

The girls were thrilled at first, and made their way right into the first store they saw. As they browsed the selection, they learned that Pidge and Allura are actually the same size, so that would make the experience even easier. Shay wasn’t hard to shop for either, since her taste went from hard metal to sweet pastel. Almost everything could be found in her wardrobe. 

“So, did either of you come with anything in mind? Specific things you’re looking for?”

“Summer is coming fast,” Pidge shrugged, looking to Shay if she had anything. The other girl only nodded whilst pausing from her examination of a sundress.

Really, Allura should have assumed that. It was clearly the season to get summer apparel. “I mean… specifically. Shorts? Dresses and skirts? That sort of thing,” she smiled at them both and gestured around her.

“Well, I wear anything. So wherever we go, I’ll probably find at least one thing I like. But I do think I need a new swimsuit?” Shay got a little quieter as she added the last part, and looked away from the older woman. Allura, a fashion champion, would probably knew how to help Shay, and she knew that. She just got embarrassed browsing since nothing ever fit her exactly how she wanted it to. “Since graduation is right around the corner and the waterpark opens the day after it and all.”

Allura was beaming. “All of us are getting new swimsuits. It’s on me. This is exciting!” Pidge would swear she never would see Allura this gleeful again. She really should get a group picture. “I know just the place where we can all comfortably find one too!”

Again, thank god Allura is an experienced shopper. Pidge would have no idea what to do or where to do. She can probably guess Shay has no clue either. Good for them, Allura grabbed a hand on each girl and started walking briskly through the mall, checking signs and maps as she navigated the space.

If Allura knew a place, then said place must’ve been very diverse. If Pidge was going to be honest in describing her friends, Allura was very tall and slim. But she was also curvy in a way. She definitely had a butt and boobs, and Pidge would be lying if she said she didn’t stare and admire such a shape. However, Allura never wore jeans because her waist was too small and her legs were too long to find a proper fit.

And Shay, admittedly by herself, was a bit chubby. She was very proud of her body, though. Another thing to add to the list of things Pidge admired about her female friends. Shay relished in leggings and skinny jeans because she looked marvelous in them. Crop tops were also her gig since she didn’t mind showing her stomach to others. But when it came to exposing skin on her chest, she seemed to run away fast. She never wore tank tops or the such, so finding a suit that made her feel like she would put it all out there must be tough for her.

Then there’s Pidge herself. She’s boyish, flat, and basically a certified 8 by 10. Michael Scott could sell her and still get Jan at the end of the night, and nobody would know that was a human being instead of a sheet. Sure, everything fit her, but her style was reflected in her figure. She wasn’t a bikini fan, but she hated tankinis and one pieces. She wore shorts (trunks, basically) when she swam and never shaved her legs. Pidge hated girly clothes, but adored them. The only reason she actually hated them was because it was such a foreign look to see on her.

Nevertheless, Allura pulled them into a shop that looked like it was born for girls who had insecurities in their bodies. They had sections for plus size all the way down to cardboard. It was beautiful to see. Such a progressive store making it to such a big mall must mean it’s a huge hit. “Go ahead and browse! I’ll be over there,” Allura chided while pointing to a back corner. Shay nodded and made her way to a section she deemed her own, and Pidge moved toward wherever Allura ducked off to.

Allura looked down to Pidge, _God, she is so tall. Is she taller than Shiro? Is that why he broke up with her? Because she’s too tall for him to kiss?,_ and held up a gorgeous pink and blue bikini with white detailing. It looked like an offbrand triangl suit. “Is this too bright for me?” Her voice was quieter, but still gentle, not shy. Pidge looked between the fabric and Allura and then shook her head.

“Nah. It’s like a soft pastel, y’know? It’d be cute.” Allura’s face lit up. “Can you help me out?”

“Of course I can. What’s your style?” Pidge looked at the selection, at Allura, and then shrugged.

“Shorts. Bikini but not too much. Not trunks but not short shorts. Nothing too showy, really.” Allura only nodded and pondered for a second. “Oh, also, no pinks. Green is my favorite color. Green and white.” And that is when the older girl looked as it a lightbulb turned her brain on.

“I saw something earlier I think you might like. Or, a top that is.” She pulled Pidge over to a rack in which sat a seafoam green halter top. The neckline came up like a t-shirt, and had white lace detailing. While Pidge stared at it in shock, Allura pulled out a pair of greyish-blackish-greenish shorts. They were like spandex and ended at mid-thigh.

“What a goddess…” Pidge sighed, slowly taking the articles. Allura laughed and beckoned Shay over to see what she had. It was a forest green bikini with matching, rather skimpy bottoms.

“I don’t really know about it, though,” Shay mumbled, and Allura looked between Shay and the suit.

“I think I know,” she smiled, going to the section Shay had been in. A moment later, she came back with a green and orange, tight fitting tankini with accompanying bikini bottoms. Shay lit up in delight and took it in place of the previous, now discarded suit. “Dressing room?” Allura added and nodded her head in the direction. The other two nodded and followed their stylish leader.

The suits were a hit, and were purchased on the spot along with matching seashell bracelets for all three of them. 

Girl’s Day Out went on just as one could expect. They went to different stores in search of outfits, asked Allura’s opinions, and let her correct them out of trust. Each outfit she put together made it seem more and more like there was a color scheme being built for each of them. 

Shay’s was forrest colors, dark, but still bright enough to make her eye’s shine and her skin glow. Pidge’s was just as she’d hoped. Greens, white, and various grays and blacks. An occasional brown was thrown in. Light earthy tones to contrast with Shay’s darker ones. Allura built herself a sort of pastel dreamscape. Pinks and blues, a few golds with whites and reds. She knew her own scheme, so she focused on building one for each of her friends instead.

In the end of the day, after ignoring the boys for an entire day, they were bombarded with near millions of messages on all topics you could imagine. Once all three were back inside Allura’s car, they looked at each other and laughed for a solid five minutes. After they could all breathe, Allura typed out one message to the group.

 

_ 8:39 _

**take me to church**

  
**Allurable:** If you come over, we can explain ourselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there wont be an upload tomorrow because im gone All Day tm or probably on sunday because ill be doing homework and writing future chapters. I'll have one up again on monday though!!


	37. sheMANigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer im not an amputee and i do not know any either. i just googled ways people could end up having to go through an amputation without being in the military

_ 11:03 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** SMH allura was the last one to talk in the gc??? yall dead

**LANCES bf:** i wonder WHY

**Sharpshooter:** good morning sleepy head

**shiro:** how long did he sleep?

**Sharpshooter:** AT LEAST 14 hours

**LANCES bf:** stop

**shiro:** good god keith 

**mattress:** good god shiro come back to bed

**shiro:** stop

**hunkindonuts:** ah the broganes. two of a kind indeed

**Sharpshooter:** I love them both but i love keith more but i admire shiro more

**shiro:** what

**LANCES bf:** he loves me

**Sharpshooter:** and?

**mattress:** GAYYYYYY

**shiro:** stop

**mattress:** we are all gay richard spencer

**shiro:** that meme is a solid early 2017 who are you

**shiro:** where is matthew

**shiro:** pidge was rigt your meme game is weak

**mattress:** you were right your game is my game

**Sharpshooter:** a murder

**shiro:** thanks for supporting him lance

**Sharpshooter:** AYY anytime

**LANCES bf:** broganes stick together shiro its okay

**shiro:** lance and matt vs broganes

**mattress:** WE NEED A TEAM NAME

**Sharpshooter:** mlady

**LANCES bf:** single!!!!!!

**mattress:** i said a team name not nicknames

**Sharpshooter:** shit u rite okay um??

**Sharpshooter:** what do we even have in common other than memes

**mattress:** good question

**shiro:** space

**Sharpshooter:** YEAH i gueSS 

**shiro:** its kind of ironic in a sense because lance and i are the “aspiring pilot” pair, then theres klance.

**shiro:** matt and i are an item, and matt and keith are team anti-shiro.

**shiro:** theres broganes

**shiro:** but you and matt have nothing

**LANCES bf:** wait klance

**Sharpshooter:** OML babe its keith-eith+lance=klance even i figured that out

**LANCES bf:** OH okay cool

**shiro:** matt and lance need something in common

**mattress:** wait aspiring pilots??? LANCE WANTS TO BE A PILOT?

**Sharpshooter:** I USED TO,

**shiro:** not anymore?

**Sharpshooter:** I don’t know what I want to do now

**shiro:** grammar from lance?? woah!

**Sharpshooter:** JLFDJLJL

**shiro:** anyway i mean i didnt know either. i was just good at piloting stuff so i went to school for it and did a double major just in case

**mattress:** shiro has absolutely nothing going for him except his body

**shiro:** thanks matt

**mattress:** I MEAN LOOK AT YOU.

**mattress:** a double major who works in retail with a fake arm who lives with his cousin and feeds on take out and is dating THIS GUY i mean geez what happened pal

**shiro:** listen,

**Sharpshooter:** HOW DID YOU LOSE YOUR ARM ANYWAY

**shiro:** i was actually pretty young. ive had it since i was 13 so im well over it by now but

**shiro:** it was in an accident and yeah thats about it

**mattress:** anyway lance team name

 

_ 11:37 _

**mattack > tshirogane**

 

**mattack:** you okay?

**tshirogane:** of course.

**tshirogane:** its been 10 years im mostly over it by now

**mattack:** are you sure??

**tshirogane:** positive.

**tshirogane:** the therapy works, it really does

**tshirogane:** plus theres not much detail to go into especially with keith and lance

**mattack:** aighty

**mattack:** mister bufferoo

**tshirogane:** dork

 

_ 11:40 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** RIGHT

**Sharpshooter:** TEAM NAME

**mattress:** YEAH team name team name UHHHHHHhhhhh

**Sharpshooter:** i give up

**mattress:** milk shake

**Sharpshooter:** what

**mattress:** brings all the boys to the yard

**mattress:** but we are the boys

**mattress:** OUR MILK SHAKE BRINGS THE BROGANES TO THE YARD AND DAMN RIGHT ITS BETTER THAN YOURS

**Sharpshooter:** im friends with a genius????????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> voltron legendary defender mmd my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard shatt + klance yaoi smut rp kawaii


	38. grocery shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shiro goes to the store

_ 12:00 _

**take me to church**

 

**shiro:** milkshake?

**shiro:** wow

**shiro:** also where are the girls and also hunk

**hunkaroo:** i genuinely dont know soooo

**shiro:** hi hunk

**hunkaroo:** hi shiro

 

_ 1:23 _

 

**Sharpshooter:** shiro im coming over because nobody is talking

**LANCES bf:** omfgl

**shiro:** excuse me

**LANCES bf:** shiro please

**shiro:** yknow fine wheres hunk he can come too

**Sharpshooter:** ill pick him up

**shiro:** sounds great okay

 

_ 2:20 _

 

**shiro:** i forgot to ask if either of you three ate but did you

**hunkaroo:** ive eaten like 2 lunches but

**Sharpshooter:** whats food its been 84 years…..

**LANCES bf:** please shiro were famished

**shiro:** ok im going to the store then. please dont destroy the house @ lance

**Sharpshooter:** im offended

**LANCES bf:** you mean youre going to see matt

**shiro:** are you hungry or not

**hunkaroo:** WE ARE PLEASE SHIRO

**LANCES bf:** HE CLOCKED IN LIKE 2 AND A HALF HOUS AGO WOW

**shiro:** no food for keith which means i have extra money what do you want @ lance and hunk

**Sharpshooter:** cool ranchy dorites

**hunkaroo:** im feeling french fries

**shiro:** roger that ill see you guys in a bit

**LANCES bf:** betrayed by my own blood, boyfriend, and best friend

**hunkaroo:** awww im your best friend :D

 

_ 3:00 _

**keith.k > tshirogane**

 

**keith.k:** shiro?? where are you

**keith.k:** lance and hunk are laying on top of each other like corpses

**keith.k:** im growing very concerned about them and you

**tshirogane:** im still at the store sorry

**keith.k:** is matt really that interesting that you spend 30 minutes talking to him in a grocery store

**tshirogane:** he was

**tshirogane:** and then i went to actually get snacks and food for supper

**tshirogane:** and a girl from high school came up to me and weve been talking

**tshirogane:** i put her on hold for this conversation but i cant be texting while talking to real people its rude

**keith.k:** shiro oh my god

**keith.k:** youre gonna have to tell the whole group chat this story

**keith.k:** i hope you know that

**keith.k:** does matt know this is happening

**keith.k:** this is incredible i hope im ruining the conversation so you come home sooner

**keith.k:** because we are hungry boys

**keith.k:** who are playing mario kart so poorly were coming in 12th simultaneously

**keith.k:** we didnt even know that was possible

**keith.k:** but were doing it

**keith.k:** are you proud of us shiro

**keith.k:** are you

**tshirogane:** STOP

**tshirogane:** im at the check out just oh my god stop

**tshirogane:** ill be home in 15 minutes

**tshirogane:** maybe 20

**tshirogane:** if i see matt

**keith.k:** our savior

**keith.k:** shiro

**keith.k:** thank you

**tshirogane:** you sound like lance

**keith.k:** ebcause it is

**tshirogane:** NO,

 

_ 3:27 _

**take me to church**

 

**shiro:** okay so LANCE wanted me to tell a story to you guys

**shiro:** about my grocery shopping trip

**shiro:** so

**shiro:** i went to get food for these mongrels  because they are whining endlessly about being hungry

**shiro:** also i wanted to say hi to matt so i went

**shiro:** are right before i went to get food i was caught by this girl who used to go to school with us

**shiro:** and we say hi to each other and she goes

**shiro:** “so are you and matt holt roommates now?”

**shiro:** and since im a good guy i dont laugh

**shiro:** but i dont know How Hard it is to detect homosexuals these days for girls

**Sharpshooter:** shes in denial because you were the hot guy at school shiro its obvious

**shiro:** yeah sure ok anyway

**shiro:** i tell her he doesnt live with me and that we hang out a lot

**shiro:** she says “huh. you two post a lot of pics on insta like you have a heavy bromance going”

**shiro:** its at this point where i do not feel bad for laughing a little

**shiro:** because i say “yeah. because we are dating”

**shiro:** and her face. her jaw drops, and she stares at me for a solid 10 seconds in surprise and i just had to shrug and say “i guess it is a bromance huh?”

**shiro** : its at this point where lance steals keiths phone to text me about food

**Sharpshooter:** IT WAS THAT DEEP IN??

**shiro:** yes. it was

**shiro:** so after i get done telling lance off i find a way to politely tell her off and thats the end

**LANCES bf:** you stole my phone???

**LANCES bf:** how do you know my passcode?

**Sharpshooter:** its easy ;)

**LANCES bf:** bye

**hunkaroo:** exposed

**shiro:** also matt gets off at 7 so hes coming over too

**hunkaroo:** BOY TIME?

**shiro:** yes

**hunkaroo:** splended

 

_ 7:23 _

 

**mattress:** them girls are dead we should call the police but also its nice not having pidge yell at me all day

**mattress:** so its okay to wait a few days before we send a search party right?

**shiro:** awful.

**mattress:** im sorry

**shiro:** are you almost here?

**mattress:** give me 10-ish minutes bb

**shiro:** ew

**mattress:** give me 20 minutes

**shiro:** okay! :^)

**Sharpshooter:** NO WE CANT WAIT THATS ALLURA OUT THERE

**hunkaroo:** AND SHAY

**mattress:** OH DAMN U RITE WHERE ARE THEY??

 

_ 8:39 _

 

**Allurable:** If you come over, we can explain ourselves.

 

_ 8:45 _

  
**Sharpshooter:** were on our way


	39. midnight pizza night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the kids are all together again but then they order pizza delivery?

Allura watched from the window seat as Shiro’s car pulled into the driveway slowly, and the headlights turning off with a mute click. She opened the door with glee after seeing all five boys crawl out of the depths of his car. She couldn’t imaging being stuck in the back seat with three people back there. Lance looked squished. He must’ve been stuck with the middle seat. Poor guy.

“Good evening, boys,” she said, waving them into the house. The followed her inside and greeted her individually. Once inside, she lead them down to the basement where Pidge and Shay were playing DDR together. 

“Gremlin!” Matt ran up to his sister and scooped her off the floor, much to Pidge’s protest.

“Stop! Heathen! This is sabotage!” Allura giggled and watched the spectacle of siblings in front of her. Once Matt had finally set her down, the took Pidge and Shay both by the arm and brought them aside. “Are we actually doing this?” Pidge dreadd, her voice hushed. 

Shay nodded, but was looking to Allura for reassurance. “You don’t have to showcase everything. Just your favorites? You don’t even have to try them on if you’d rather not.” Pidge sighed in relief and then nodded affirmatively. With that final motion, Allura broke the huddle and turned to the boys. “So, from what we saw, you where wondering where we’d been, and I have one answer for you.”

Lance leaned in like it was a suspense movie, and raised his eyebrows. “And?” He expectantly said, only to be backhanded in the arm by Keith who shushed him. Hunk looked between the couple and then to Shay quizzically. She gave him a knowing smile, and shrugged. Matt and Shiro had glanced between each other and then to Pidge and Allura respectively. Both their heads were cocked to the side which made Pidge snicker to herself. Birds of a feather flock together.

Allura went to the other side of the sofa and then hoisted up several bags from various stores that were all loaded. “We went to the Mall!” At the sight of bags, Lance fell to the floor and groaned, reaching out to Allura. She lowered the bags and stared at him blankly.

“You aren’t a girl.”

“And?” Lance moaned beneath her.

“It was a girl’s day out.”

“And?”

Allura groaned and started dealing out the bags to the girls beside her, ignoring any further complaints Lance had. “Drama queen. It was a good day without…” Pidge started, glancing over to Lance on the floor, pointing at him. “That.” Shay giggled beside her and nodded in agreement.

“It was a wonderful day, indeed,” she added, looking over to Hunk and mouthing an apology to him. Girl’s Day meant no boys allowed, even over text. She felt a little bad for not telling him, but to see the reactions of all five was well worth it.

“Anyway, if Lance will stand up and show dignity, we’ll be right back with the first look!” Allura smiled at the rest of them and shoved the other girls away and into the large bathroom is the basement. Once they were gone, all the boys started looking at each other quite baffled.

“What the hell just happened?” Keith’s voice was quiet and somehow rhaspy. Shiro shrugged and looking to Hunk if he had an answer. He didn’t. Nobody did, obviously. Three of their friends disappeared off the face of the planet for 12 hours after all.

Shortly after their disappearance, the girls returned in new outfits and were dorkily posing for their pals. Pidge seemed a little less enthused, but was still participating at least.

Upon seeing them, all five boys quietly began laughing to themselves which did make Allura quirk a brow. “What are you laughing at?” She was being playful, of course, because this was all just silly antics. This wasn’t America’s Next Top Model, after all. There was no reason to be serious about anything happening right now. 

This sequence of the girls putting on various outfits and gouging in the reactions of the others. It was a cycle that went on and on until all the bags were empty and the floor was littered with outfits all over the place. The aftermath of the event was a bit alarming and put into perspective how much the girls actually bought.

“Geez, you guys stocked up, huh?” Lance snickered as Pidge pulled a hoodie over her head with a grunt. They all were sitting on the floor at this point, quite tired since it was coming up on midnight by now. “Also I’m hungry…” he whined, promptly getting nudged by Hunk who was agreeing with him. “Can we eat?” He looked hopefully to Allura who only stared back.

“Coran is well asleep by now, he would never wake up to cook… but we could possibly order food if there’s a place open?”

“McDonald’s…” Pidge sighed, still hung up on the french fries. Allura brushed Pidge with her arm and whispered “no” in a passive aggressive tone.

“Pizza?” Hunk inquired, slowly sitting up. “I think there’s a place still open? Even though that might be a jerk move… Asking for delivery at, uhh,” he stopped, pulling his phone out to check the time, “11:38 at night.”

“I’m a hungry bitch,” Matt groaned, spreading out onto the floor to stretch. “Feed me mommy.” Immediately as the word “mommy” left his mouth, Shiro was rolling over and laying on top of his boyfriend. “Shirooooo, not now… ‘Lura’s here.”

“Stop talking,” he mumbled and looked to Hunk. “I’ll call and see if they even do delivery at this hour. What do you guys want?” He held up two fingers to let them know just how many pizzas were permitted since the money was obviously going to come from Shiro’s wallet. 

“I just want the meats,” Keith sighed, jolting when there was a scream from a few feet away from Pidge of “WHEEEEEEEEERE’S THE BEEF?”

Lance broke out into a fit of laughs and quietly started saying the slogan to himself which greatly disappointed Keith. They weren’t even drugged, drunk, or tired. Lance was just like this when he was bored and hungry. It was at this point where Keith realized hunger seemed to be the theme of the day.

Shiro returned soon which made them all assumed he decided the pizza on his own. “Give it 30 minutes,” he smiled and sat on the sofa, or at least, on the portion where Shay wasn’t. “Canadian sausage and just cheese,” he added. 

 

The time it took for the doorbell to ring was dreadfully long, and at least every 3 minutes somebody was asking how long it’d been. But when the doorbell rang, everybody was jumping to their feet and bounding up the stairs. Allura, of course, was the one who answered the door, and Shiro was right behind her with his wallet out.

When she opened the door, she didn’t expect to see what she did: Lotor with a black bag in a delivery boy outfit. He smiled to her and said hello, but his eyes looked to Shiro right after that. Shiro smiled and asked about the price. He didn’t know much about Lotor, so he thought it was just another pizza delivery guy. He took the boxes and Allura bid farewell and shut the door.

“Did you know him?” Shiro smiled toher as the group began their descent back into the basement.

“That was actually Lotor, if any of you remember him at all.” Lance would’ve spit his drink had he had one. He turned around and looked to Allura with wide eyes.

“You didn’t even introduce us?! I’m supposed to be kicking his ass!”

“No, you aren’t. And be quiet. Coran is sleeping.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;) hey lotor lance is still peeved for no reason here we go


	40. nobody is allowed to hang out with pidge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry i dont make the rules.
> 
> shiro does.

_ 9:35 _

**Sharpshooter > Lotor.Daibazaal**

 

**Sharpshooter:** omfg stop hitting on allura

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** I will.

**Sharpshooter:** really?

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Yes.

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** I was unaware she was in a relationship so I have no reason to try and undo her happiness

**Sharpshooter:** .right

 

_ 9:42 _

**Sharpshooter > keith.k**

 

_ Sharpshooter sent an image _

 

**Sharpshooter:** WHAT DO I DO

**keith.k:** TELL SHIRO???

**Sharpshooter:** I CANT

**keith.k:** then i will??

**Sharpshooter:** what if shiro gets like a flashback or something and gets mopey

**keith.k:** do you? know shiro?

**keith.k:** he’ll fucken. laugh and tell allura and itll be an iconic act. matt will be involved. it will be beautiful.

**keith.k:** WAIT hold on i hav e ascheme

**Sharpshooter:** stop hanging out with pidge?

**keith.k:** shiro takes matt on a date to the pizza place when lotor is working

**Sharpshooter:** KEEP HANGING OUT WITH PIDGE

 

_ 10:08 _

**Sharpshooter > tshirogane**

 

_ Sharpshooter sent 1 image _

 

**Sharpshooter:** SHIRO LOOK

**Sharpshooter:** also

**Sharpshooter:** idk if this is weird to say but i love ur cousin

 

_ Sharpshotoer sent 3 images _

 

**tshirogane:** He needs to stop hanging out with pidge

**tshirogane:** no matter how brilliant that is

**tshirogane:** also allura would not be on board??? maybe

**Sharpshooter:** theres only one way to find out

**tshirogane:** N o

**Sharpshooter:** pls shiro

**Sharpshooter:** tell allura she might laugh

**tshirogane:** if she doesnt i will assassinate you

**Sharpshooter:** umf daddy

**tshirogane:** keith is single

**Sharpshooter:** LJFLJFL

 

_ 10:20 _

**tshirogane > Allurable**

 

**tshirogane:** lance wants me to show you this

 

_ tshirogane sent 1 image _

 

**Allurable:** That’s hilarious.

**tshirogane:** actually??

**Allurable:** Completely!

**Allurable:** You paid for pizza.

**Allurable:** Did he not see the rest of them behind us?

**tshirogane:** i guess not

**Allurable:** He assumes we are together simply because of a pizza delivery.

**tshirogane:** hold on it gets better. lance talked to keith about it first and this is what keith said about it

 

_ tshirogane sent 3 images. _

 

**Allurable:** We have to do this.

**tshirogane:** oh my god

**Allurable:** Imagine it!

**Allurable:** If we figure out his work schedule and you arrive with Matthew, he would be so concerned and confused!

**Allurable:** It’s not hard for him to recognize you, either. He’ll remember.

**tshirogane:** why are we pranking him so much this is cruel

**Allurable:** It is, but it will definitely be worth it.

**Allurable:** We’ve known each other since childhood. He knows I prank him all the time… It’s just… Well overdue.

**tshirogane:** why are we friends

**Allurable:** To be maniacal together, clearly.

**tshirogane:** clearly

**Allurable:** I do have one request, Shiro.

**tshirogane:** which is??

**Allurable:** Don’t tell Matthew the plan. Let him play innocent bystander. It makes for a more realistic reaction.

**tshirogane:** STOP HANGING OUT WITH PIDGE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love lotor i really do and that is Why i must do this to Him


	41. a Plot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and the gremlin comes into play and starts hell

_ 11:39 _

**tshirogane > Sharpshooter**

 

**tshirogane:** you were right

**Sharpshooter:** Boom

**tshirogane:** BUT 

**tshirogane:** no telling matt.

**Sharpshooter:** boom??

**tshirogane:** allura and i have a plan and matt cant know or he might mistakenly blow it and i love him too much to let him ruin this for us

**Sharpshooter:** Boom

**tshirogane:** boom

 

_ 11:43 _

**tshirogane > pidgerino**

 

**tshirogane:** are you alive yet

**pidgerino:** what did matt do

**tshirogane:** nothing

**tshirogane:** do you remember the pizza place we ordered from @ alluras

**pidgerino:** hell yeah

**pidgerino:** wai

**pidgerino:** wait why

**tshirogane:** i need you to somehow get hold of the employee work schedule for the next… week?

**pidgerino:** for some reason. i like where this is going.

**tshirogane:** can you?

**pidgerino:** give me like 10 minutes

**pidgerino:** 5 of those being so i can turn on my computer

**tshirogane:** alright genius sheesh i get it

 

_ pidgerino sent an image _

 

**pidgerino:** there

**pidgerino:** now what do i get?

**tshirogane:** the satisfaction of rolling in the scheme allura and i just plotted

**pidgerino:** ?!?!?!?

**tshirogane:** exactly

 

_ 12:02 _

_ tshirogane added Allurable, Sharpshooter, keith.k, pidgerino to  _ **_lotor thinks allura and i are dating and we are about to mess with him a lot_ **

 

_ Allurable changed the chat name to  _ **_a Plot_ **

 

**pidgerino:** i like that a lot better than what shiro put

**tshirogane:** it was a preface for what is about to be explained

**tshirogane:** RULE 1: no matt

**pidgerino:** OH SO N O W theres no matt huh?

**Allurable:** We’ll elaborate.

**Allurable:** Lance angrily texted Lotor instructing him not to try and take me out on a date (for whatever reason Lance has?).

**Allurable:** And Lotor agreed because when he delivered the pizza last night, he assumed Shiro and I were an item simply because Shiro paid for the food.

**Allurable:** Thus…

**Sharpshooter:** i fucken blew up keiths phone and told him the shit and keith…

**keith.k:** came up with a dirty plan to mess with lotor

**tshirogane:** in which i, who is dating allura according to lotor, take matt, my actual partner, to the pizza place where lotor works

**tshirogane:** on a date

**Allurable:** Hence, why Matthew cannot know. He has to have no idea what’s going on and presume it’s just a date with his boyfriend.

**tshirogane:** meanwhile, lotor is freaking out, thinking im cheating on allura

**pidgerino:** keith needs to stop hanging out with me

**tshirogane:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**pidgerino:** thanks

**pidgerino:** anyway im here because i gave shiro lotos schedule for the next week

**pidgerino:** and now it is time to conduct this operation

**Allurable:** Step 1: Ask Matthew out on a date. Shiro, if you will.

**pidgerino:** with receipts im needy

 

_ 12:27 _

**tshirogane > mattack**

 

**tshirogane:** matt

**tshirogane:** when are you free

**mattack:** are you asking me on an irl date?? shiro???? takashi himself??

**tshirogane:** yes sorry this if this is odd for you but are you free on monday at 6?

**mattack:** i mean, i get off at 6 but

**tshirogane:** ill pick you up at work. bring a change of clothes. nothing fancy just. like. not a polo and khakis please

**mattack:** can i wear my nasa shirt?

**tshirogane:** deck yourself out

**mattack:** FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING FOOD

 

_ 12:34 _

**a Plot**

 

_ tshirogane sent one image. _

 

**pidgerino:** excellent.

**keith.k:** why monday???

**tshirogane:** its lotors next shift sorry to make you wait

**Sharpshooter:** betrayal

**keith.k:** i cant believe my own cousin

**tshirogane:** i cant believe youre suddenly so impatient its like talking to lance twice

**Allurable:** lol

**Sharpshooter:** ALLURA????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I APOLOGISE NOW FOR THE LACK OF HUNK AND SHAY AND MATT IN THE FUTURE ITS GONNA FOCUS AROUND THESE DORKS FOR A WHILE


	42. local pizza man hates cheating warriormale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shiro. or as we call him in the science world, by his latin name, warriormale

_ 5:43 _

**a Plot**

 

**tshirogane:** i am ready to obtain the subject

**Allurable:** Keep me updated.

**tshirogane:** thats the plan

**Sharpshooter:** bless ur hearts

**pidgerino:** haha. yes.

**tshirogane:** ill let you guys know when we are seated

**Sharpshooter:** bro what if lotor calls shiro out straight up

**keith.k:** uh huh like he would

**Allurable:** What would be more funny is if he texted me.

**Sharpshooter:** wait what would you do if he does

**Allurable:** We’ll find out if we get there.

 

_ 6:12 _

 

**tshirogane:** we are seated. no sign of lotor yet

**Allurable:** Soon.

**tshirogane:** is he register??

**pidgerino:** UM idk it just says he works then

**pidgerino:** if hes kitchen  hell bring the pizza to u tho thats how that place does it so either way youll see him

**tshirogane:** ok cool

**tshirogane:** for a fun bonus im ordering the same meaty pizza pie we got @ alluras

**Allurable:** Shiro, you devil.

**tshirogane:** i hang out with keith who hangs out iwth pidge

**pidgerino:** ah weve come full circle

**Sharpshooter:** amazing how the world works

**pidgerino:** indeed, you lad

**Sharpshooter:** im not a lad

**pidgerino:** fucking selfish child*

**Sharpshooter:** i.

 

_ 6:30 _

 

**tshirogane:** it is officially time for pizza. they said itd be 20 minutes to make since it was a ~special order~ 

**keith.k:** im ready to yell

**Sharpshooter:** dont,

**Allurable:** I turned my ringer on for this.

**tshirogane:** im like. watching the door and matt is so confused

**tshirogane:** “im hungry sorry” “bitch me to the fuck :P”

**tshirogane:** as in. :P he stuck his tongue out at me

**pidgerino:** i hate him

**tshirogane:** JSJFLJFj

**Allurable:** Is it Lotor?!

**tshirogane:** abort he made eye contact with me, squinted, and shook his head

**tshirogane:** a disappointed dad look from a guy younger than me

**tshirogane:** I GIVE THAT LOOK

**Sharpshooter:** omfg

 

_ tshirogane sent a video _

 

**Sharpshooter:** KEITH SCREAMED

**keith.k:** YOU DONT HAVE TO LEAVE A TIP, ILL LEAVE ONE FOR YOUAOFUS

**pidgerino:** DHLKFJKJJJ I YELLED   
**Allurable:** I am… In awe.

**Sharpshooter:** WHAT WAS THE TIP SHIRO SHROIS RHIOS   
**keith.k:** im ufckign

 

_ tshirogane sent one image _

 

**keith.k:** HE WORTE IT ON A NAPKIN

**Allurable:** Did he get this from google images?

**Sharpshooter:** google quotes about cheating

**keith.k:** NEXT TIME YOU GO ON A DATE, BRING OSMEBODY WHO IS AWARE OF ALL THE DETAILS

**keith.k:** AAAAAAAA

**pidgerino:** i just hoisted my fucking phone in the air and yodeled???

**pidgerino:** that is te STUPIDED ISTS  QUOTE JJJJJAFJL

**Sharpshooter:** kiss matt

**Allurable:** Oh my goodness.

**Sharpshooter:** HSIRO KISS MATT

**pidgerino:** he better b readin this

**tshirogane:** i am

**tshirogane:** matt is so confused

**tshirogane:** i told him “dont worry. hes a pal”

**tshirogane:** HE KNOWS LOTOR WHY IS HE SO?

**pidgerino:** matt forgets like everything shiro ples

**tshirogane:** were done bc small pizza

**tshirogane:** going in for the kiss while lotor is out here

**Allurable:** Tell us how it goes.

**Sharpshooter:** i need to KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

**tshirogane:** “some people.”

**tshirogane:** i dont think he knows i heard him say that

**Sharpshooter:** WLEL ou better hurry home keith is fucking dead on te floor of the kitchen holding a gallon of Whole Milk

**pidgerino:** a cryptid

**pidgerino:** a wild keith. in his habitat

**pidgerino:** drinking milk from the teat

**Sharpshooter:** never speak again

**pidgerino:** does he drink fro m ur teat?

 

_ tshirogane removed pidgerino _

 

**Sharpshooter:** Shiro does a good deed part 1

**tshirogane:** its what she deserves

**Sharpshooter:** Shiro does a good meme, the sequel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont know what this is i wrote it at 2am and was 2 hours late to school because it kept me aWAKE


	43. pizza date goes wrong and other fun stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lotor hops on the train

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cry every time i log in to see comments from you guys,,, i get so happy and feel so blessed? ive never had this many positive reactions to my writing and im so thankful <3 i love you guys

_ 8:45 _

**take me to church**

 

**mattress:** when shiro takes u on a date uwu

**pidgerino:** desgusteng

**mattress:** you cant hate love child

**pidgerino:** watch me

**Sharpshooter:** whered you go??? :O

**mattress:** jus a pizza place but he paid for all of it and KIssed me so it was a date

**Sharpshooter:** awe :D

**balmerina:** that’s so cute!!!

**mattress:** i love him uwu

**LANCES bf:** why did it take you so long to eat a pizza

**mattress:** we were enjoying each other GOSH keith

**Sharpshooter:** LET THEM HAVE FUN KEITH

**pidgerino:** no fun allowed keith

**LANCES bf:** sorry for asking?

**Allurable:** Stop attacking Keith.

**LANCES bf:** thanks allura

**Allurable:** No problem.

**mattress:** @ shiro tell them about our date and how cute i was

**shiro:** you wore sweatpants, a nasa hoodie, and had a butterfly clip in your hair.

**shiro:** is that what you call cute??

**mattress:** I CANNOT BELIEVE MY OWN BOYFRIEND

**pidgerino:** believe it pal

**mattress:** my family.

**balmerina:** a tragedy amongst man

 

_ 9:03 _

**Lotor.Daibazaal > Allurable**

 

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Allura, I apologise for the late timing of this, but I do believe I need to tell you something.

**Allurable:** Oh? What is it?

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Tonight while I was on my shift, your

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Boyfriend, I presume,

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Came in to eat with who I originally thought was a friend, but it appears that the two were in fact a couple.

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** I understand that it isn’t my business to make you aware of this, but I want you to know what he’s doing behind your back.

**Allurable:** I see.

**Allurable:** Thank you for telling me.

**Allurable:** I’ll have to talk to him about this later.

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** If you need anything from me, don’t hesitate to ask.

**Allurable:** Thank you, Lotor.

 

_ 9:10 _

**a Plot**

 

_ Allurable sent one image _

 

**Sharpshooter:** LASJFLGJLJGJLGJLFJJFJFJJFJ

 

_ 9:23 _

**Lotor.Daibazaal > mattack**

 

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Good evening, Matt.

**mattack:** YO pizza guy what up

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Not much. Well, for me at least.

**mattack:** define

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** You and that guy were on a date tonight, yes?

**mattack:** and?

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** I don’t know if you know this, but he’s in a relationship with a woman as well.

**mattack:** ????

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** I made a delivery one night. He and the girl were the two who picked it up.

**mattack:** who was it??

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** That isn’t my information to disclose. It’s something you should talk to him about.

**mattack:** gotcha.

**mattack:** thanks bro

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** You’re welcome.

 

_ 9:46 _

**mattack > tshirogane**

 

**mattack:** hey

**mattack:** what the fuck takashi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO shiro didnt see when lotor asked matt for his contact info oooooh shits about to liven up a little in shatt country


	44. shiros girlfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> call him out call him out

_ 9:46 _

**mattack > tshirogane**

 

**mattack:** hey

**mattack:** what the fuck takashi

**tshirogane:** woah hi whats up

**mattack:** question for ya

 

_ mattack sent one image _

 

**mattack:** what is he talking about?

**mattack:** like actually because he doesnt sound like hes joking and i want to think youre a good boy shiro pls

**tshirogane:** he doesnt know the whole story

**mattack:** WHA T,

**tshirogane:** listen listen dont go overboard hold on

**mattack:** s hiro

**tshirogane:** matt

**mattack:** shiro ur freakin me out here

**tshirogane:** dont be just.

**tshirogane:** do you have time for the longest story ever?

**mattack:** right now? ill listen to about anything you tell me

**tshirogane:** perfect.

 

_ Call started 9:53 _

 

_ Call ended 10:12 _

 

_ 10:14 _

**take me to church**

 

**mattress:** the exclusionism is REAL

**shiro:** plan backfired. well get him next time guys

**LANCES bf:** what??

**mattress:** lotor texted me LMAO

**Allurable:** When?

**mattress:** like an hour ago idk

**mattress:** BUT YALL MEAN OAMFLFKJ

**Allurable:** Play along. It’s hilarious.

**hunkaroo:** what

**hunkaroo:** what on earth did i miss

**LANCES bf:** TLDR shiro is cheating on allura with matt according to lotor

**hunkaroo:** incredible

**hunkaroo:** do you want @shay and i to play along too just in case he texts us?

**Allurable:** Absolutely

**balmerina:** wait.

**balmerina:** what are you guys gonna do if this escalated really far??

**shiro:** i was thinking about that actually

**Allurable:** That is a bit of a dilemma, isn’t it?

**balmerina:** you dont want to ruin this guys life.

**shiro:** i almost think the jig should stop

**Allurable:** Shiro, I agree completely, but we have to do this properly.

**shiro:** of course. we arent cowards

 

_ 10:36 _

**Allurable > tshirogane**

 

**Allurable:** I don’t want to stage a breakup, but we need to find a way to tell him this was a prank while being obvious, yet subtle at the same time.

**tshirogane:** casually breaking the news

**Allurable:** Should we include Matthew?

**tshirogane:** nah

**Allurable:** Sounds good.

**Allurable:** Here we go.

 

_ Allurable sent one image. _

 

**Allurable:** Shiro, I think you need to clarify something.

**tshirogane:** yeah. probably

**Allurable:** Well?

**tshirogane:** im dating matt

**Allurable:** What else?

**tshirogane:** you and i were never dating and we are cruel people

**Allurable:** Yes. Yes we are.

 

_ 10:44 _

**Allurable > Lotor.Daibazaal**

 

**Allurable:** I talked to Shiro.

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Hm?

 

_ Allurable sent one image _

 

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** So we’re back to this.

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Well played, Allura.

**Allurable:** Thank you, Lotor.

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Was Matt included in that plan?

**Allurable:** Not until you texted him.

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Very well coordinated.

**Allurable:** Thank you.

**Allurable:** I have great sources nowadays.

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Clearly.

 

_ 10:52 _

**Lotor.Daibazaal > Sharpshooter**

 

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Yes or no, right now.

**Sharpshooter:** wtf,

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Is Allura in a relationship?

**Sharpshooter:** PF no, 

**Sharpshooter:** waitiwhy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CONSIDERED MATT LITERALLY MARCHING OVER TO SHIRO AND YELLING AT HIM but im lazy and its not as juicy and yall were expecting im sorry


	45. the swagamuffins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i love hunk pidge and lances friendship dont @ me unless u agree

_ 5:46 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** Good Morning I Got The Most Cryptic Text From Lotor Last Night

And I Am Afraid

**hunkaroo:** oh worm?

**Sharpshooter:** now is not hte time

**hunkaroo:** woom,,,,

**Sharpshooter:** WOOM

**hunkaroo:** its called slang look it up

**pidgerino:** hunk and lance died and were replaced by strangers

**hunkaroo:** anyway

**Sharpshooter:** hol on imma dmu hunk ur good with this kinda bs

**pidgerino:** yeah bc he puts up with you

**Sharpshooter:** if i include you in this will you be nice to me?

**pidgerino:** yes :)

 

_ 5:50 _

_ Sharpshooter added hunkindonuts, pidgerino to  _ **_swagamuffins_ **

 

**pidgerino:** you better change that shit

**Sharpshooter:** later. not important

 

_ Sharpshooter sent one image _

 

**hunkindonuts:** run

**Sharpshooter:** HES OGNNA DATE ALLURA?? not allowd

**hunkindonuts:** first of all

**hunkindonuts:** let allura decide that.

**hunkindonuts:** second of all

**hunkindonuts:** childhood friends become lovers NEVER works so its not a big deal

**Sharpshooter:** arent matt and shiro childhood friends

**pidgerino:** LMAO no they met in hs

**pidgerino:** when we. yknow. moved here. from the fucken silicon valley.

**pidgerino:** into the FUCKEN DESERT 

**Sharpshooter:** god ok we get it ur mad about not being around apple inc

**pidgerino:** wtf

**hunkindonuts:** lance shes fine shes like. 20 something

**hunkindonuts:** a Strong Independent Woman who can decide if shes ready to date again or not

**hunkindonuts:** and Who she wants to date

**Sharpshooter:** is allura a lesbian she can date like. shay

**hunkindonuts:** please dont

**Sharpshooter:** HUNK its for her own good

**pidgerino:** shays or alluras

**Sharpshooter:** yes

**hunkindonuts:** im protesting

**Sharpshooter:** ykno what fuck ur chicken strips

**hunkindonuts:** NO fuck YOUR chicken strips lance

**Sharpshooter:** im being attacked on the internet

**pidgerino:** this isnt tunglr shut up

**hunkindonuts:** EITHER WAY

**hunkindonuts:** if lotor asks allura out on a date and she says yes what exactly can you do

**Sharpshooter:** watch from a distance

**hunkindonuts:** creepy…

**hunkindonuts:** just let her live? youre her second cousin. youre basically the same level as all of us yknow

**Sharpshooter:** AND?

**hunkindonuts:** the rest of us dont try to dictate alluras love life

**pidgerino:** actually

**hunkindonuts:** WHO

**pidgerino:** matt n allura talk a lot about that kinda stuff. they facetime on the weekends

**Sharpshooter:** im going to kill matt

**pidgerino:** great! ill let him know!

**hunkindonuts:** lance youre over reacting to this a Lot

**Sharpshooter:** and?

**hunkindonuts:** lance: opens his mouth

**hunkindonuts:** literally everybody nearby: WE KNOW youre a drama queen. we get it. stop talking about it. stop talking. please. we know

**Sharpshooter:** im being called out

**pidgerino:** its what she deserves

**hunkindonuts:** its what she shouldve gotten a long time ago

**hunkindonuts:** eat your veggies and suck up your emotions lance welcome to life where allura makes her own decisions

**Sharpshooter:** okay but you cant tell me that wasnt the weirdest text ever

**hunkindonuts:** YOURE NOT WRONG it was creepy

**pidgerino:** it was funny omfg

**hunkindonuts:** im afraid for lance

**pidgerino:** lance mcdies

**hunkindonuts:** make him into chinken nunget

**Sharpshooter:** WHY NUGGETS AND NOT STRIPS

**hunkindonuts:** because then wed have to devour you

**Sharpshooter:** thats the scariest response ive ever gotten from you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY 420 KUDOS HERES A SECOND CHAPTER FOR TODAY I LOVE YOU ALL


	46. plunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> plink plonk plunk here is a hunk

_ 6:32 _

**take me to church**

 

**Allurable:** What happened here?

**pidgerino:** lance had a breakdown but its okay now hunk took him out to breakfast i think

**Allurable:** Over a text message?

**pidgerino:** as somebody who has seen the message. it is fairly disturbing and through provoking

**Allurable:** From who?

**pidgerino:** Did you not read lance’s first message? he literally said from lotor

**Allurable:** Some of us are still waking up. Sorry.

**pidgerino:** u need beauty rest pls queen

**Allurable:** It’s almost 7 in the morning.

**pidgerino:** and when do you have class?

**Allurable:** 10.

**pidgerino:** goodnight allura

 

_ 7:02 _

 

**LANCES bf:** i hate getting an education

**hunkaroo:** good morning keith

**LANCES bf:** good morning hunk is lance okay

**hunkaroo:** yeah hes fine 

**LANCES bf:** cool

**balmerina:** oh boy what a pleasant awakening for a school day

**hunkaroo:** good morning shay!

**balmerina:** you already sent me a good morning text but good morning again hunk!

**hunkaroo:** i know

**hunkaroo:** i wanted to say it again

**pidgerino:** i love my straight friends

**balmerina:** :)

**hunkaroo:** :]

**Sharpshooter:** NOBODY smiles like that hunk stop

**hunkaroo:** :[

**Sharpshooter:** i hate this

 

_ 7:12 _

**swagamuffins**

 

**Sharpshooter:** we need a real name for this

**pidgerino:** you plan on using this chat in the future?

**Sharpshooter:** why not?

**pidgerino:** every other chat ive ever been added to other than the church dies after like 3 hours

**Sharpshooter:** this one doesnt have to

**pidgerino:** i give it 2 days

**hunkindonuts:** WE CAN TOTALLY HAVE A SANCTUARY THO

**Sharpshooter:** HUNK GETS ME

**pidgerino:** why

**Sharpshooter:** youd get inside info on our drama and in return we can console you if you ever want to actually talk about Your problems

**pidgerino:** i feel called out

**hunkindonuts:** you are

**pidgerino:** great

**pidgerino:** Fine 

**Sharpshooter:** nice okay here we go

 

_ Sharpshooter changed the chat name to ROTC _

 

**hunkindonuts:** What

**pidgerino:** WE HAD A GYM CLASS TOGETHER ONE TIME

**Sharpshooter:** basically ROTC

**hunkindonuts:** nononon

 

_ hunkindonuts changed the chat name to plunk _

 

**pidgerino:** finally some good fuckng food

**hunkindonuts:** thank you

 

_ Sharpshooter changed their name to Shoot _

_ Sharpshooter changed pidgerino ‘s name to Scoot _

_ Sharpshooter changed hunkindouts ‘s name to Snoot _

 

**Scoot:** FINALLY some good Fucking Food

**Shoot:** thank you

**Snoot:** this is an attack on my nose?

**Shoot:** yes. it is.

**Scoot:** and?

 

_ Snoot changed Shoot ‘s name to Furry _

 

**Furry:** IM

**Scoot:** i love it

**Snoot:** thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short but sweet and now we see the start of something neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew


	47. a good ol healthy holt wager

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> matts ability to trust people is at risk and he lays it in the hands of a child

_12:24_

**mattack > pidgerino**

 

 **mattack:** k8

 **pidgerino:** m8

 **mattack:** no like actually

 **pidgerino:** nani

 **mattack:** katie

 **pidgerino:** what

 **mattack:** real talk time because im too much of a wimp to reach out to keith

 **pidgerino:** …...what

 **pidgerino:** is this about

 **pidgerino:** are you questioning shiro rn

 **mattack:** if i wasnt we wouldnt be talking

 **pidgerino:** what did he do?

 **mattack:** hes Hot and could literally get Moist Puss any time he wants

 **pidgerino:** first of all. nEVER say “moist puss” to me again

 **pidgerino:** second of all. how would he even

 **mattack:** you ever heard of grindr or tinder to anything kid

 **pidgerino:** YOU REALLY THINK HE HAS THOSE?

 **mattack:** I DONT KNOW???

 **pidgerino:** if shiro has a dating app on his cellular phone i will give you my entire savings account balance

 **mattack:** BET

 **pidgerino:** and if he doesnt then you have to stop questioning him

 **pidgerino:** consider it a good ol healthy holt wager

 **mattack:** fine whatever

 **mattack:** make keith look on his phone tho..

 **pidgerino:** k

 

_12:43_

**pidgerino > keith.k**

 

 **pidgerino:** matt thinks shiros cheating on him because of that prank on lotor so u should check shiros phone for dating apps thanks his mental stability relies on it so pls provide answers

 

_12:55_

 

 **keith.k:** what the Hell

 

_1:06_

**tshirogane > pidgerino** 

 

 **tshirogane:** the answer is no

 **pidgerino:** thank God

 

_1:07_

**pidgerino > mattack**

 

_pidgerino sent two images_

 

 **pidgerino:** now shut up

 **mattack:** thank you

 **pidgerino:** youre welcome

 **pidgerino:** ily bro ur fine shiros a good Kid

 **mattack:** hes 10 (ten) Ten years older than you

 **pidgerino:** and

 **mattack:** ily2 k8

 **pidgerino:** dont u have work in the morning

 **mattack:** AND

 **pidgerino:** Go the Fuck to Sleep

 **mattack:** dont send me the video pls

 **pidgerino:** why send it when you are across the hallway

 **mattack:** DONT,

 **pidgerino:** hehehehhehehehheheheheh

 **mattack:** hfasj

 

_2:35_

**plunk**

 

 **Scoot:** we fucked up matt

 **Scoot:** with the lotor prank

 **Scoot:** and hes like. HELLA afraid shiro is getting, quoth the holt, moist puss

 **Scoot:** not me holt. matt holt

 **Scoot:** anyway i think hes fine now but like please lance and hunk meme him up in the morning its all i ask because as much as im ready to impale him 85.666% of the time

 **Scoot:** hes my bro ya feel

 **Scoot:** like lance has siblings and hunk is basically fam too like Yall this my Bro

 **Scoot:** TLDR meme with matt hes sad and self conscious for dumb stuff

 **Scoot:** thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohhohohohoho o? whats this? uwu? matthuwu?
> 
> its 6am and im gonna be busy all fuckign day :( this chapter counts for friday and saturday because i actually slept all day friday 
> 
> i will see you memes on sunday :3


	48. what are you wearing ;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is just me plugging shatt into the story as much as i can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wholesome relationships where both partners care for each other and work out any problems so theyre always as happy as they can be 100% of the time is my kink

_ 6:23 _

**plunk**

 

**Furry:** on it

**Furry:** dw lancey lance has the juice

**Scoot:** SHUT UP

**Furry:** WHY ARE YO U AWAKE

**Scoot:** do u think i ever went to bed?

**Furry:** Yeah no

**Furry:** but you should

**Scoot:** yeah goodnigth

**Furry:** JDSLJFD

 

_ 7:32 _

**take me to church**

 

**hunkaroo:** whomst

**hunkaroo:** wait somehow i pressed on the wrong contact sorry

 

_ 7:37 _

**plunk**

 

**Snoot:** whomst

 

_ 7:41 _

**take me to church**

 

_ Sharpshooter sent one image _

 

**Sharpshooter:** This si is the fucnniest fucking things thats hapepned to me all week

**pidgerino:** are you crytyping

**Sharpshooter:** Y es

**Sharpshooter:** WAIT i thought you went to sleep

**pidgerino:** when have i Not lied to you

**Sharpshooter:** Pidgerooo….. :(

**pidgerino:** oh no

 

_ Sharpshooter changed pidgerino ‘s name to pidgeroo _

 

**pidgeroo:** NO……. MY ONE UNIVERSAL CONSTANT IN LIFE…

 

_ pidgeroo changed their name to pidgerino _

 

**pidgerino:** dont scare me like that heathen

**pidgerino:** go back to the hell you came from

 

_ 8:12 _

**tshirogane > pidgerino**

 

**tshirogane:** did i miss something?? what was that about?

**pidgerino:** OH uh

**tshirogane:** what

**pidgerino:** ask matt lmfao

**tshirogane:** what?

**pidgerino:** i cannot disclose information sir sorry sir

**tshirogane:** ….okay

 

_ 8:18 _

**tshirogane > mattack**

 

**tshirogane:** matt

**tshirogane:** pidge said you know what this is about

**tshirogane:** and that she cant say even though it was a text to her phone idk

 

_ tshirogane sent one image _

 

**tshirogane:** also you need to get up you have work at 9

 

_ One missed call from tshirogane 8:20 _

 

_ 8:31 _

 

**mattack:** jesus shiro

**mattack:** i JUS woke up

**tshirogane:** good morning

**mattack:** good morning i love you

**tshirogane:** i love you too

**tshirogane:** but do you mind explaining the message i have no recollection of sending to pidge??

**mattack:** OH LOL yeha hold on dont punch me

**mattack:** ok well yknow the prank yall pulled on lotor yeah that got me Fcuked ™ so i talked to pidge like yo fuck im freakin out shiro can get Pussy as he Desires because hes HOT and im NOT and fuck what if he IS ™ and you should have keith check shiros phone for tinder and she was POd with me over it but she got keith to check it and i think he texted her from your phone when he checked for grindr just to assure pidge that he did check your phone also you might wanna change your passcode because keith knows it

**tshirogane:** hold on hold on what

**tshirogane:** matt hold on what

**mattack:** he knows your password

**tshirogane:** before that

**mattack:** what

**tshirogane:** did you actually think i would cheat on you??

**tshirogane:** i hate to say this to you but

**tshirogane:** you are actually stupid for thinking that

**tshirogane:** call in sick to work right now go go go im putting on shoes and coming to get you

**mattack:** sHS RIO

**tshirogane:** you cant say no or ill call sam

**mattack:** omfg shiro

**tshirogane:** WE NEED TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER MORE

**tshirogane:** without kids

**tshirogane:** alone time but not alone time ™ just. alone time together

**mattack:** with some alone time ™?

**tshirogane:** sure

**mattack:** :)!

**tshirogane:** go call into work boot boy

**mattack:** OH btw i get that off next week

**tshirogane:** FINALLY

**mattack:** OKOK im going im callin work dont call my dad or mom please

**tshirogane:** ok im coming to get you too so be ready asap

**mattack:** i need to change then

**tshirogane:** what are you wearing right now

**mattack:** shiro please,,,, its jesus day we cant sext

**tshirogane:** Matt

**mattack:** sweatpants and a tshiro

**tshirogane:** TSHIRO

**mattack:** SHIRT

**tshirogane:** put on a hoodie and some shoes youre good to go we arent leaving my house so go

**tshirogane:** call work before its too late

**mattack:** ok ok ok see you soon i love you

**tshirogane:** i love you too 


	49. nani kore my dude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the legend and the lore

_ 9:14 _

**take me to church**

 

_ shiro changed their name to tshiro _

 

**mattress:** LET ME LIVE

**tshiro:** nah

**tshiro:** im good like this

**balmerina:** how the heck does tshiro come up in a conversation

**Allurable:** Don’t question those two. They’re a whole second breed of human when talking to each other.

**balmerina:** good point 

**mattress:** D:

**tshiro:** STOP 

**Allurable:** But today… Is a little concerning to me.

**balmerina:** we will never know what shatt does together

**balmerina:** and its for the best

**pidgerino:** OH i can tell you

**Allurable:** No!

 

_ 9:27 _

 

**pidgerino:** WAIT

**pidgerino:** dont u have work matthew samuel holt

**pidgerino:** nani kore my dude

 

_ 10:34 _

 

**LANCES bf:** i get a feeling that you shouldnt quesiton them. like. were at school and shiro and matt are being weird? somethings up

**Sharpshooter:** dont speak

**LANCES bf:** im jsut saying they might be spending time together

**Sharpshooter:** STOP

**LANCES bf:** like people in relationships do

**Sharpshooter:** please dont

**LANCES bf:** dont what

**pidgerino:** he thinks youre implying theyre having sex

**LANCES bf:** oh i am

**Sharpshooter:** SOTP

**pidgerino:** but actually keith makes good points lets make a shatt exclusive chat so they arent bothered today

**pidgerino:** its a great idea

**Sharpshooter:** tru youre right now that i think about it a little yeah

  
  


_ 10:45 _

_ pidgerino added Sharpshooter, keith.k, hunkindonuts, balmerina, Allurable to  _ **_shatt exclusive_ **

 

**pidgerino:** hi im banning matt from this chat

**pidgerino:** and shiro

**pidgerino:** because if shiro isnt here he cant add matt which is truly what ive always wanted in life

**keith.k:** free us from our hellrisen older male family members

**Sharpshooter:** ew too specific

**keith.k:** i cant say brother or cousin so.,

**pigerino:** its perfect and its lore

**keith.k:** i love our lore

**hunkindonuts:** looks at keith and pidge

**hunkindonuts:** so whos the lore and whos the legend

**pidgerino:** IM LORe

**keith.k:** this is an attack

**pidgerino:** who came up with it being lore?

**pidgerino:** thats what i thought binchi

 

_ hunkindonuts changed keith.k ‘s name to da binchi _

 

**da binchi:** why is it ALWAYS me

**Sharpshooter:** an easy target

**pidgerino:** yeah

**hunkindonuts:** yeah

**balmerina:** yeah

**Allurable:** yeah

**da binchi:** ALLURA TOO

**Allurable:** I’m sorry, Keith.

 

_ 12:36 _

**keith.k > tshirogane**

 

**keith.k:** so like

**keith.k:** do you want me to come home or

**tshirogane:** uhhhh gimme a sec

**keith.k:** k

**tshirogane:** yeah you can come home if you want

**tshirogane:** unless you actually want to hang out with people because you can always do that

**tshirogane:** you dont have to play innocent bystander at have me command you to hang out with them

**tshirogane:** you can just ask

**keith.k:** no i actually would rather come home so

**keith.k:** you and matt can keep being losers also

**tshirogane:** alright

**tshirogane:** after school or a little later?

**keith.k:** we shall see

**keith.k:** im gonna walk though so dont worry about picking me up

**tshirogane:** sounds good

**tshirogane:** see you whenever you show up kid

**keith.k:** im 18

**tshirogane:** im 24

**keith.k:** youre 6

**tshirogane:** maybe so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERES the kids
> 
> :)
> 
> im doing my best with comments but i get distracted easily so i dont get them all im sorry


	50. tamale eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its coming my dudes

_ 1:32 _

**Sharpshooter > keith.k**

 

**Sharpshooter:** babe

**Sharpshooter:** question for ya

**keith.k:** what

**Sharpshooter:** do you know when shiro has a day off and also when you are free on the Same Day

**keith.k:** youd have to ask shiro

**keith.k:** and you know i never do anything after school

**Sharpshooter:** touche

 

_ 1:41 _

**Sharpshooter > hunkindonuts**

 

**Sharpshooter:** BRO WHEN U FREE ITS URGENT ALSO SHAY IF U KNOW

**hunkindonuts:** THURSDAY NIGHT??? i think

**hunkindonuts:** i know she has off but idk if she planned something with friends or not because of it

**hunkindonuts:** ill ask brb

**Sharpshooter:** jus tell her to cancel thanks bro

**hunkindonuts:** bro ok

 

_ 1:47 _

**Sharpshooter > pidgerino**

 

**Sharpshooter:** YO BINCH

**pidgerino:** YO BINCH

**Sharpshooter:** WHEN DOES MATT HAVE OFF

**pidgerino:** wednesday and thursday. also today i guess

**Sharpshooter:** PERFECT

**pidgerino:** WHY

**Sharpshooter:** ;)

 

_ 1:52 _

**Sharpshooter > Allurable**

 

**Sharpshooter:** hey sweetie

**Allurable:** Hello, Lance.

**Sharpshooter:** are ya free thursday night?

**Allurable:** What’s the occasion?

**Sharsphooter:** hehehe

**Allurable:** I am… But what is the occasion, Lance?

**Sharpshooter:** soon

**Allurable:** Lance.

**Sharpshooter:** Soon!!

**Allurable:** Okay!

 

_ 1:56 _

**Sharpshooter > keith.k**

 

**Sharpshooter:** babe

**keith.k:** lance

**Sharpshooter:** do you know if hes free

**keith.k:** i just told you to ask him

**Sharpshooter:** OH i forgot lol sorry

 

_ 2:00 _

**Sharpshooter > tshirogane**

 

**Sharpshooter:** when doyou not work

**tshirogane:** thursday but

**Sharpshooter:** but what

**tshirogane:** i was gonna hang out with matt

**Sharpshooter:** oh thats cancelled

**tshirogane:** excuse me

**Sharpshooter:** youre excused! :)

**tshirogane:** LANCE MCCLAIN

 

_ 2:07 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** whats up sluts guess who just got out of prison

**pidgerino:** were all still in class

**tshirogane:** Go to Class Lance

**Sharpshooter:** wait

**Sharpshooter:** Guess who just convinced his mom to have tamamle night on thursday

**hunkaroo:** HELL YEAH

**balmerina:** THE FAMOUS MCCLAIN TAMALE???

**Sharpshoter:** HELL YEAH

**keith.k:** Hell Yeah

**pidgerino:** omfg

**Allurable:** A worthy occasion.

**Sharpshooter:** indeed it is princess

**balmerina:** im gonna eat like 3

**Sharpshooter:** LMAO good luck

**Sharpshooter:** keith barely ate one

**balmerina:** omg ok ill shoot for 2

**hunkaroo:** ur about to get out-eaten

**pidgerino:** stop thats kinky

**hunkaroo:** IT WASNT UNTIL YOU MADE IT KINKY

**pidgerino:** :3 what can i say i hate my brain

**Sharpshooter:** clearly

**tshirogane:** im cancelling a date for this so it better be worth it

**hunkaroo:** shiro

**hunkaroo:** be grateful that you get to experience a mamaclain authentic hispanic supper

**hunkaroo:** its a treat

**tshirogane:** ok ok fine

**Sharpshooter:** yeah thats right tell him hunk

**keith.k:** shiro you will die

**keith.k:** i moaned at the table

**Sharpshooter:** he did it was embarrassing

**keith.k:** it was a pleasure moan shiro

**Sharpshooter:** a sex moan over a tamale

**keith.k:** i wouldve left if not for the food

**Sharpshooter:** i almsot cried of laughter

**keith.k:** its worth it

**Sharpshooter:** extremely worth it you wont regret it also matts coming too theres no choice for anybody its happening be there or ur blocked!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the night yall thought i forgot huh


	51. tamale NIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thank u for supporting the last supper

_ 3:38 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** good afternoon maggots

**Sharpshooter:** please arrive at the mcclain house for the tamales no later than 5:30

**Sharpshooter:** the feast begins at 6

**pidgerino:** maggots

**hunkaroo:** feast

**pidgerino:** maggots

**Sharpshooter:** slugs

**Sharpshooter:** its kinda interchangeable idk

**tshiro:** thanks for that lance

**Sharpshooter:** no prob dad in law

**tshiro:** excuse me

**Sharpshooter:** not currently

**LANCES bf:** what

**Sharpshooter:** not currently

**LANCES bf:** what

 

Lance was sitting right in front of the door in order to make sure none of his siblings beat him to answering it. He was positive that Keith and Shiro would show up first. That’s because Lance warned Shiro his mom would want to talk to him so arriving earlier would end up not prolonging supper. And sure enough, just as he was thinking about Keith’s stupid face divulging in the bliss of tamales, there was a knock at the door. Sure enough, it was hardly 5 o’clock.

He swung the door open to see the Broganes on the doorstep. “Evening, Lance,” Shiro smiled, peeking inside of the house. He suddenly realized that half of the people coming over have never seen his house let alone stepped inside and faced the family. Said family was supposed to be leaving (except for the chef herself) by 5:30, so there was still a little time before imminent death.

“Sup Shiro,” he stepped aside and let Shiro enter the home, stopping Keith at the door with an arm. “Let him meet my mom. It’s good comedy. It’ll be like when she met you but 10 times more of a freak out,” he snickered, putting a finger on his mouth to make sure Keith shut up.

The two watched the horrifyingly pleasant greeting that Shiro made with Lance’s mother. She was over the moon, yet quite threatening at the same time. If Keith dared hurt her son, it was revealed that Keith wouldn’t be the only one getting talked to by the entire McClain family.

Keith gawked at the entire sight. Shiro was a people pleasure by nature, but this was a whole new universe they were stepping into. Shiro’s demeanor charmed Lance’s younger sister and she was actually holding onto him. Sure, he was attractive. But… Lance’s sister is younger than Pidge? He thinks. Keith isn’t actually sure, but it’s not that big of a deal. 

As Shiro and Lance’s mother talking, his sister attached to the guy, Lance lead Keith into his bedroom. “Anyway… Before the others get here,” he started, leaning on the door that was now shut behind him.

“What?” Keith tilted his head to the side and then jumped as Lance slowly fell to the floor. In the suddenly open doorway was now Shiro and Lance’s mother.

“Don’t be trying anything on my watch,” Shiro warned, looking down at Lance. “Not while I’m here, kid.” His arms were folded over his chest. What a dad. His eyes traced their way to Keith who gulped upon eye contact. “What were you two planning, huh?”

“Nothing. We were gonna let you and Mrs. McClain talk is all,” he muttered, looking away slowly. Keith, of course, looked down to Lance as he answered because Shiro was terrifying when provoked. Nobody wanted a provoked Shiro. “Sorry, uh,” he looked back up and then started awkwardly stepping around Lance’s body and out of the bedroom. From behind him, Mrs. McClain squaked in laughter.

“You’re such a parent to him! They’re kids! That was beautiful, Takashi. My son almost dropped dead on sight!” The two adults laughed together leaving a blushing Keith standing in the living room.

A knock on the door silenced everybody, and Lance was immediately sprinting to the door and revealing the Holts on the other side of it. “Maggot.”

“Slug.”

“Matt.”

“Slug.”

Lance gasped at the sudden betrayal by the elder Holt who was nonchalantly making his way to Shiro’s side. Maybe it is all fair in love and war after all. Maybe it’s natural for all the adults to gang up on the kids during these sorts of ordeals. Maybe tamale night was a horrible idea from the start and he should have never considered or even formed the idea in his mind. Gee, being a boy genius really has its flaws.

What made it worse is that Pidge joined her own brother at Shiro’s side. There were alliances forming. And at this rate, it would be Lance, Keith, and MAYBE Hunk against everybody else. Probably not Hunk. He would never side against the chef. Especially if it was Lance’s own mother. She was Hunk’s third mother.

 

Slowly they all trickled in, and the rest of the McClain family took off and let Lance and his mother entertain all the guests.

The second the first dish of tamales was on the table, Keith was the first to serve himself. Even Hunk was a bit stunned at this. Not that it mattered. As Keith sunk his teeth into the first bite, Lance swore the boy’s eyes rolled into the back of his head. He let out a low moan of bliss over the food. Shiro’s head snapped to look at his cousin along with everybody else.

Lance sunk down in his chair and covered half of his face with a hand. “Keith, oh my god… You did it again,” he whined, eyes looking to his boyfriend.

“Oh.”

“Keith…”

“But they’re good,” he defended, going in for another bite.

“If you make another weird noise so help me, God,” Lance whispered, receiving a finger flick of water from his mother.

“Don’t speak like that at the table, boy.”

“Sorry, mama,” he mumbled in shame, sinking further into the chair. The others laughed at the agony he was put in and agreed with his mother. 

 

The night was filled with his mother questioning all of his friends on their interests. She was especially focused on Allura. “I haven’t seen you in years!” “You are so tall and beautiful!” “Tell your father we say hi.” “Do you have a relationship yet?” “What is your future?” Typical relative stuff… Even though Allura herself proclaims that the Altea family and the McClains are hardly related. It’s a bit weird… But when you grow up in a family like Lance’s fourth cousins are like siblings to you, too.

Shiro also received a hardy amount of tal from his mother. Lance got away with holding Keith’s hand under the table for a whole ten minutes before Pidge screamed it so loud that the neighbors could’ve heard, ruining the moment. Both of them got looks from each adult for that. It was like Shiro was catering to his own mother just to look good. Actually, he was. It was obvious. Matt would crack a joke and Shiro would smile, bite his lip in order to not burst out laughing, and then go back to eating so he wouldn’t ruin it. Why must Shiro be such a professional? Curse him.

Pidge was next. She adored talking to Lance’s mother specifically because of all the embarrassing stories she demanded she tell. Right behind her was Keith himself, too, who also happened to be reveling in stories of Lance’s childhood. Those two always knew when a story was coming because the woman would start with “You know,” as a prequel to Lance doing anything since he was born. Matt had no problem also joining in to laugh at Lance when it an opportunity came.

Hunk already had quite a few spins with each McClain member, so he didn’t need to spend time chatting with Lance’s mother as much as he talked with Shay since she was sort of the odd one out in this event. Both of them seemed to be having a good time, though. It’s nice that those two awkward kids always had each other.

The food, since it was a huge success, was filling all of them to the brim. Hunk refused to stand from the table for a solid 10 minutes after the meal because “It’s too much work on this bloated body of mine.” The fact Keith groaned in sexual pleasure, again, after one bite was telling enough of how delicious it was.

And in the end of the night, these kids are good kids. As they thanked Lance’s mother for the wonderful food and thorough entertainment, they all lined up and started weaving in and out of each other, cleaning up the supper table, washing dishes, dividing out leftovers between parties, and wiping down surfaces. There was an assembly line for the dishes between the three adults whilst Hunk and Pidge did number crunching for how much food each individual could take home with them and what had to stay for the family of the cook. Lance and Keith were diligently wiping down every spec of dirt on any surface in the kitchen, and Shay swept the floor like a professional. To say Mrs/ McClain was impressed was an understatement.

 

As people trickled out in the same fashion they arrived, both McClains went on endlessly about the next meal night with all the kids. They were pitching ideas of who should host it, where they should eat,  _ what _ they should eat, and everything in between.

When all simmered down in the end, Lance fell onto the couch in a heap of exhaustion. His mother dropped beside him, wrapping her arm around his shoulders and giving him a squeeze. “Lance, your friends are an item,” she smiled and jostled the boy.

“Yeah…” He sighed in delight, “They’re chaos but they’re a second home.”

Both Cubans jumped a little when there was a sigh from the doorway. Keith had his head poked in, rolling his eyes. “You’re cheesy, y’know that?” On sight, Lance got up and went to the door. “I forgot something here,” Keith mumbled, looking past Lance to his mother.

“Did you forget your phone? You can come in to get it if you want, she doesn’t care. You moaned at our supper table. Twice. Everything is out there, buddy.”

Keith simply shook his head and grabbed Lance’s hand. “No, I, uh,” he stammered, and brought hand up to rest atop Lance’s shoulder. “I forgot something else,” he said. Lance looked quizzically at him. Keith slowly leaned in, eyes half closed as he watching his boyfriend carefully. Suddenly, he chickened out of the original plan and wrapped his arms around the other instead. To this, Lance laughed and returned the hug.

“Thanks, Keith. You total dork.”

“Goodnight, Lance… See you tomorrow?”

Lance nodded with a smile. Before he pulled away from the hug he made sure to give Keith what he wanted, but not to the same extent, planting a kiss on his cheek. “Tomorrow morning? Same time?”

“Yeah.”

And with that, Keith was gone, out the door and back in Shiro’s car. Even through the slight tint of the window, Lance could see the rosy cheeks in the windshield.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;) so keith moans when he eats actual food


	52. doot doot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a lil bit of klance a lil bit of hunay and some pidge

_ 5:45 _

**Sharpshooter > keith.k**

 

**Sharpshooter:** good morning ilu say it back

**keith.k:** that defeats the purpose if you force me to

**Sharpshooter:** so you wont ? :(

**keith.k:** thats not what i meant

**Sharpshooter:** so………………..

**keith.k:** ilu good morning lance

**Sharpshooter:** good morning pook

**keith.k;** pook

**Sharpshooter:** idk what was ur nickname as a child

**keith.k:** loser

**Sharpshooter:** JSJJFJ nO i mean a s w e e t one

**keith.k:** idk ask shiro

**Sharpshooter:** GLADLY

 

_ 5:54 _

**Sharpshooter > tshirogane**

 

**Sharpshooter:** WHT WAS KEITHS BABY NICKNAME PLS

**tshirogane:** well he could never say his name properly. he called himself keef

**Sharpshooter:** sjlfjsdlfjsdl

**tshirogane:** i believe his mother called him Ki too

**tshirogane:** its korean for something i dont remember

**Sharpshooter:** cute?? also i forgot he was half korean fjlajfl

**tshirogane:** LANCE JESUS   
**Sharpshooter:** IM SORRY ITS JUST. THE LAS T NAME AND U AND

**Sharpshooter:** Ki

 

_ 6:04 _

**Sharpshooter > keith.k**

 

**Sharpshooter:** ki

**keith.k:** not that one

**Sharpshooter:** ?

**keith.k:** reserved rights

**Sharpshooter:** ok keef

**keith.k:** jfjjfjfjf

**keith.k:** s top

**Sharpshooter:** actually? i should just stick to queef

**keith.k:** no

**Sharpshooter:** mmmmm i think its cute

**keith.k:** sthut the up

**Sharpshooter:** i like it!

**keith.k:** fjdlance

**Sharpshooter:** queef!

**Sharpshooter:** rolls right off the tongue!

**keith.k:** blocked

 

_ 6:18 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** call him queef thanks

**balmerina:** lance

**Sharpshooter:** what

**balmerina:** why must you do this 

**balmerina:** to your own boyfriend

**hunkaroo:** its how they work

**balmerina:** matt and shiro are like that too???

**hunkaroo:** no its a lance influence not a brogan influence

**balmerina:** ah

**hunkaroo:** yes…. ah.

**Sharpshooter:** theres no dirt names for u 2 :(

**hunkaroo:** dont

**balmerina:** L ance please no

**balmerina:** spare us for we are poor and hungry as it is

**balmerina:** brother please

**balmerina:** may we have some oats

**hunkaroo:** EVERY TIME

**balmerina:** iTS FUNNY

**hunkaroo:** I CANT CATCH A BREAK FROM THE STUPID OATS

**balmerina:** bring me oats

**balmerina:** and i will fend off the cravings

**balmerina:** brother

**hunkaroo:** youre just as bad as pidge lance n keith omfg shay

**balmerina:** boyfriend

**hunkaroo:** shay

**balmerina:** honey the oats

**hunkaroo:** this is incredible

**balmerina:** oat me

**pidgerino:** are you comparing my standard of high intellect humor with that of a oat muncher

**Sharpshooter:** OAT MUNCHERSJFLJF

 

_ Sharpshooter changed balmerina ‘s name to oat muncher _

 

**pidgerino:** i cannot believe you insult my genius this way

**hunkaroo:** what r u a rick and morty fan smh pidge

**hunkaroo:** i used to think you were cool

**Sharpshooter:** toasted grilled burnt to a crisp

**pidgerino:** nice try lance thats a dead phrase

**Sharpshooter:** it will never be a dead phrase

**pidgerino:** it is tho

**Sharpshooter:** :/

**hunkaroo:** toasted grilled burnt to a crisp

**Sharpshooter:** UM!?

**hunkaroo:** gtg moms calling

**Sharpshooter:** which mom

**hunkaroo:** #2

**Sharpshooter:** which mom is 2

**hunkaroo:** mom

**Sharpshooter:** bye nerd

**hunkaroo:** bye u stinky man

**oat muncher:** stinky man with stinky sock 

**oat muncher:** he will never possess the nice legs for the daisy dukes

**pidgerino:** doot doot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> he aint know much but he kno that his mumsy called him ki and he refuses to speak of it hi im sad :)


	53. adults

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Adults of the Group need to Hang Out Too

_ 9:32 _

_ Allurable added tshirogane, mattack  _ **_A proposal_ **

 

**Allurable:** This is very spur of the moment, but

**Allurable:** We are the “old people” of our group, and I think that puts us in a subgroup.

**Allurable:** Therefore, I would like to ask: Why do we not all hang out more often?

**tshirogane:** thats a good point?? why dont we

**tshirogane:** we were all friends in high school and everything

**mattack:** yall………

**Allurable:** We need to.

**tshirogane:** we do

**Allurable:** shiro when is keith absent

**tshirogane:** so its at my house

**mattack:** what are we gonna do? have it at MY house

**mattack:** lmfao 

**mattack:** shiro ur funnnie

**tshirogane:** i was thinking alluras since it was her idea

**Allurable:** we always get together at my house

**Allurable:** my carpets deserve a break

**tshirogane:** the times we arent at your house its at mine

**mattack:** i have 2 (two) parents i still live with

**mattack:** that automatically rules me out

**tshirogane:** sam can join us

**mattack:** you really want sam and colleen to join us

**Allurable:** Hey

**Allurable:** i like Colleen.

**mattack:** i do to!!! its just that theres two versions of parents here

**tshirogane:** good point ok well

**tshirogane:** school days or i can kick him out on a weekend if i have to

**Allurable:** Splendid.

**mattack:** its settled queen when dont you have class

**Allurable:** Technically, I could skip any time I want, but

**Allurable:** I won’t since I pay for my classes.

**tshirogane:** okay so name a time and ill make sure keith is gone?

**Allurable:** thank you

**Allurable:** Also… If you and Matthew both have the day off, we could just get together tomorrow?

**mattack:** i mean i start at 4 so

**tshirogane:** i actually have the day off?? woah

**Allurable:** My class ends at 11, too!

**tshirogane:** its a day then!

**mattack:** NICE

 

_ 10:12 _

**mattack > tshirogane**

 

**mattack:** were gonna fuck before that right

**tshirogane:** matt

**mattack:** WE CANT ONCE ALLURA SHOWS UP

**tshirogane:** Matt

**mattack:** ITLL ALL END AT 4 AND U WONT SEE ME UNTIL THE NEXT DAY AT LEAST

**tshirogane:** oh my god

**mattack:** if my carcass does not get busted into tomorrow morning in the most blissful wake up call jesus could ever imagine the next time you wake up is going to be similar to be thrown into a pile of old man asscheeks whilse they divulge in tomato soup

**tshirogane:** what does any of that mean

**mattack:** it means im on my way over and you better have the door unlocked

**tshirogane:** jesus christ keith is here?

**mattack:** but he wont be tomorrow morning

**tshirogane:** YOU ARE SO

**mattack:** lovely cute charming amazing

**tshirogane:** and Evil

**mattack:** aha but you said and so who wins

**tshirogane:** me

**mattack:** no??

**tshirogane:** yeah

**mattack:** thats not how it works

**tshirogane:** but who gets tomorrow morning

**mattack:** SKSKSK

**tshirogane:** see you soon

 

_ 10:17 _

**tshirogane > Allurable**

 

**tshirogane:** just so i have the door open when are you planning on arriving?

**Allurable:** I’ll probably be there not too long before noon.

**Allurable:** Quarter to at the latest.

**tshirogane:** right i forgot you commute to school every day

**tshirogane:** sounds good ill see you before noon??

**tshirogane:** matt will probably arrive before you then

**Allurable:** Don’t be too scandalous.

**Allurable:** And cover your tracks.

**tshirogane:** allura

**Allurable:** I’ll be there by 11:45!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen i like shalluratt i think its cute But Let Them Just Be Friends (with shatt) dont get the idea that theyre all ognna get together because allura and shiro are clearly not meant to be dating
> 
> also im lagging behind on chapters again so hehehe its writing time for me :3
> 
> PS: yall catch allura without them caps :0 she cuts loose around her fav boys


	54. "we cannot piss in the classroom"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i love pidges stupid antics
> 
> tech nerd who can blow shit up if she desires

_ 1:27 _

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** you guys wanna see some fucked up shit

 

_ pidgerino sent 1 video _

 

**tshiro:** WHAT IS THAT

**pidgerino:** chem teacher is gone

**tshiro:** areyou killing things??

**pidgerino:** we were gonna make toxic gasses and then realized we dont have bleach 

**tshiro:** pidge

**pidgerino:** and also that we cannot piss in the classroom

**pidgerino:** so we decided to just experiment with more friendly chemicals

**tshiro:** why are you doing this

**pidgerino:** i just said chem teacher gone

**mattress:** i love my sister??

**pidgerino:** the sub is just watching us in horror

**mattress:** fuckign, ap chem is a wild ride i loved it

**pidgerino:** the notes he left the sub were “watch out for pidge.” and the sub was like “which one of u is pidge”

**pidgerino:** tTHERES LIKE 8 OF US IN THE CLASS 

**pidgerino:** AND THANK GOD WERE ALL FRIENDS

**mattress:** NOBODY SPOKE UP??

**pidgerino:** NOPE LMFOAOFOAFOO

**tshiro:** oh my god

**pidgerino:** sub looks at the attendance list and goes “theres not even a pidge on here”

**pidgerino:** i raise my hand and say “pidge dropped the class last week ma’am”

**pidgerino:** the class jsut agrees

**pidgerino:** i love leading the ides of march

**tshiro:** oh my god

**mattress:** wild 

**pidgerino:** gtg were gonna put more shit in test tubes and swirl it

**tshiro:** wait isnt hunk is ap chem

**pidgerino:** ap physics

**tshiro:** thank god

 

_ 2:33 _

 

**hunkaroo:** do you think id actually let pidge do that

**hunkaroo:** actually ur right i wouldve

**pidgerino:** thank you hunk

**hunkaroo:** youre welcome 

**balmerina:** geez

**balmerina:** you arent even going to tell them about what you 2 did to my kitchen???

**pidgerino:** JFJJEJ

**pidgerino:** I FORGOT AOBU THTA T OH MY GDO

**hunkaroo:** THE BAKING SODA 

**pidgerino:** HER DADS FACE JFJFJJGJ

**balmerina:** once you guys left he looked at me and said “really?? and we thought he was a calm and collected young man” and then walked away

**hunkaroo:** wait do they hate me

**balmerina:** bibi was impressed

**hunkaroo:** thank god

**tshiro:** you guys are supposed to be in class

**tshiro:** even lance hasnt spoken yet

**tshiro:** shoo!!

 

_ 3:12 _

 

**Sharpshooter:** pf when aint i on my phone in class

**tshiro:** i  am 

**tshiro:** disappointed

**Sharpshooter:** sorry dad

**Sharpshooter:** dy

**tshiro:** stop

 

_ 3:45 _

**keith.k > tshirogane**

 

**keith.k:** shiro can i come home yet

**tshirogane:** yeah ill pick you up im driving matt to work and alluras in the back seat

**keith.k:** youre driving?!?!

**tshirogane:** were at the light

**keith.k:** put it away!!!

 

_ 3:37 _

**keith.k > Allurable**

 

**keith.k:** are you guys dropping matt off first or getting me??

**Allurable:** Um…

**Allurable:** Shiro said we’re picking you up first. Then Matthew. Then me.

**keith.k:** k

**Allurable:** “Tell Keith that he needs to be outside the side doors waiting.”

**keith.k:** thanks

**keith.k:** also how was it

**Allurable:** How was what?

**keith.k:** being in a room with matt and shiro

**Allurable:** They aren’t as awful as you think they are.

**Allurable:** Except for when Matt tried to tackle Shiro only to be slammed onto the sofa while yelling “You still have the boot on until Wednesday!”

**Allurable:** But that was very humorous.

**keith.k:** wow

**Allurable:** We had fun!

**Allurable:** We weren’t just lazy and watching television somehow.

**keith.k:** shiro doing things? incredible

**Allurable:** “We’re pulling up.”

**keith.k:** im out here already

**Allurable:** Sounds good.

**keith.k** hey allura

**Allurable:** Hi, Keith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometimes i forget they are students still so heres a snapshot of pidges school life 
> 
> also were in a blizzard so im TRYIN
> 
> ps i skipped a day in the timeline because itime is a social construct (also im a n idiot)
> 
> PSS i wrote shatt please go read it im gay


	55. look at all those gees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> character development? in my fic? its more likely than you think

_ 5:32 _

**take me to church**

 

**LANCES bf:** allura i have a question @ allura

**Allurable:** You said my name twice this must be important.

**LANCES bf:** not really but

**LANCES bf:** was ur breakup with shiro like. that scene between zac efron and vanessa carlton in high school musical

**pidgerino:** zac and vanessa

**Sharpshooter:** Vanessa Carlton

**Allurable:** Now that I consider the differences… There aren’t any.

**Allurable:** Although, I didn’t sing to him, so there’s that.

**tshiro:** i cannot believe this is what i log in to see

**Allurable:** But it’s accurate, is it not?

**Sharpshooter:** I LOVE THIS BREAK UP

**Allurable:** Lance, please.

**Sharpshooter:** its iconic princess pls

**LANCES bf:** this is a revelation of the dynasty

**pidgerino:** dynasty

**LANCES bf:** you dont have to point out all my flaws ok gees

**Sharpshooter:** gees

**pidgerino:** keith as he points at the chickens “look at all those gees”

**Sharpshooter:** FLHLJFKFKJFKJASKDLK

 

_ 5:43 _

**plunk**

 

**Furry:** ok i was instructed by keith to not mention this but

**Scoot:** if this is about making fun of him im out

**Furry:** no its about like. fucken yesterday man

**Scoot:** oh worm?

**Furry:** worm

**Furry:** SEE like shiro dropped him off at my place and keith was all “him and matt wanna fuck its gross” and i sympathize with him yeah like im a good guy 

**Furry:** im always this kind

**Furry:** and then he forgets clothes. pjs and for the next day. like he was spending the night at my place so shiro and matt could fiddle their goddamn diddles

**Furry:** first of all my parents werent exactly happy that he showed up BASICALLY unannounced at 11 in the fucken night

**Furry:** second of all i had to drive him back home because he forgot shit

**Furry:** keep in mind this is all because matt wanted to suck a dick

**Scoot:** ew 

**Furry:** thats what i said BUT ANYWAYS

**Furry:** we pull up to brogane central and keith goes in alone, blind, praying the whole way there that theyre in shiros room so they dont even know he was there

**Furry:** LIKE HE USED TO BE ALL “hurr durr ew lets make fun of them for being nasty”

**Furry:** but now that lke. weve started dating hes super uncomfortable about ALL OF IT and it has me worried about him?? idk why ill have to talk to him on that some time

**Scoot:** engarde touche continue on

**Furry:** and he comes back out. and hes acting all chill but the second he gets into the car he looked at me and said

**Furry:** “my shower”

**Furry:** im all ???? and then it hits me and im like  btich ew spare me the deets please

**Furry:** and keith just goes “that stuff is super gross why the hell do people even ever

**Scoot:** lance

**Furry:** AND IM ALL ????? YO I WANNA THO???

**Furry:** i didnt say that but like hi im a hormonal teenage male too can we fuck also?

**Scoot:** Lance

**Furry:** like wtf keiths freaking me out and he told me “YO ont tell anybody about matt and shiro ill die”

**Snoot:** Lance buddy

**Furry:** o what sorry

**Scoot:** i have a preposition but you may not appreciate it

**Snoot:** i think we are on the same page

**Scoot:** if ur educated we are

**Scoot:** but have you considered the fact that keith doesnt like sex

**Furry:** nani kore

**Furry:** buthow

**Scoot:** im not doin this shit oh boy he has no idea

**Snoot:** keiths probably asexual lance you have to actually talk to him about this sooner than later

**Snoot:** that way youll know youre not accidentally pressuring him into something he doesnt want to do because you KNOW keith hates saying no to that cute face of yours

**Furry:** explain

**Snoot:** keith does not like sex. the idea of it. the practice of it. doing it.

**Snoot:** probably

**Furry:** OH

**Furry:** oh ok ok ok so should i like. ask him or?

**Snoot:** dont be sudden with it but. the next time it comes up (text or otherwise) just be like “why tho”

**Furry:** gotcha

**Snoot:** and dont forget

**Snoot:** he loves you(?) and will tell you how he feels and you need to listen and understand and work something out so youre both comfortable

**Snoot:** OR maybe he just is afraid of sex because hes nervous or something and hes not actually asexual im not a professional

**Scoot:** i am tho and he is i sniffed that shit from miles away

**Scoot:** dont touch the peen whether it gets perky or not mcclain

**Furry:** wtf 

**Scoot:** from one about another that boy aint about the life of you two “fiddling your goddamn diddles”

**Furry:** thanks you can stop goodbye

**Scoot:** youre welcome

**Snoot:** take it easy bud we gotchu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lance bisexual who doesnt fully understand concepts but is willing to learn mcclain deserves respect
> 
> WHY DO I ALWAYS GIVE KEITH DEVELOPMENT WHEN HES NOT DIRECTLY INVOLVED. ITS ALWAYS WHEN SOMEBODYS TALKING ABOUT HIM JFJFJFJJ


	56. russian spy op pidge gunderson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the holt house is a nightmare without the broganes i s2g

_ 7:22 _

**take me to church**

 

_ pidgerino sent 1 video _

 

**pidgerino:** everybody laugh at my brother for doing this in public eye

**balmerina:** is that keith?

**pidgerino:** yeah mom wanted the broganes over for a “family dinner”

**balmerina:** amazing

**pidgerino:** now shame matt now that the air is clear

**balmerina:** wildest dream? really??

**balmerina:** what a sad existence. 

**pidgerino:** YOU DIDNT HAVE TO KINKSHAME HIS ENTRIE BEING

**balmerina:** OH sorrymatt

**pidgerino:** we STAN shay

**pidgerino:** ALWAYS

 

_ 8:00 _

 

**tshiro:** oh my god you got it on video thank you

**pidgerino:** indeed i did

**LANCES bf:** thank you pidge

**pidgerino:** o shiro how ya doin with colleen and house hunters international

**tshiro:** fantastic this couple is clearly not meant to become homeowners together

**LANCES bf:** be careful colleen might get snide with you 

**tshiro:** no we both agreed that im ready. matt, however, will never be ready

**pidgerino:** HAH

**tshiro:** she said her children will forever live with her and that “katie is never allowed to leave for college. my babies will stay with me until i die”

**pidgerino:** NO

**tshiro:** she jsut came in to complain to her mom.

**mattress:** thanks for the public embarrassment and exposure colleen is gonna be mad at you for revealing her plan

**tshiro:** its what she deserves

**tshiro:** she said you cant move out and in with me once keith goes to college with lance inevitably

**LANCES bf:** please.

**mattress:** oh shit what the fuck is up step the fuck up kyle?

**hunkaroo:** how many memes did you jsut combine into one hellbeing

**hunkaroo:** do i see. two memes in one sentence

**mattress:** probably 

**balmerina:** you guys speak in tongues i swear

**hunkaroo:** NO REAL TALK TIME OK i just thought of this but 

**hunkaroo:** is shiro best friends with sam and colleen like seriously

**balmerina:** imagine getting a call from samuel holt, nationally recognized scientist, saying he wants you and your emo cousin to come over for a supper

**hunkaroo:** i would never answer that call

**balmerina:** a voicemail tht im too scared to call back to

**hunkaroo:** i get afraid when shays dad texts me

**balmerina:** you text my mom all the time why

**hunkaroo:** im used to moms

**balmerina:** excellent point chef

**Sharpshooter:** deadass hunk texts everybodys moms

**hunkaroo:** i do

**hunkaroo:** lances mom, shays mom, my moms, colleen, matts mom

**mattress:** my mom is colleen?

**hunkaroo:** shes a different person when we talk about you

**mattress:** WHAT

 

_ 8:53 _

 

**pidgerino:** matt got called out during supper for playing with his food to which keith said “thats not the only thing” to which dad said “what else does he” to which he immediately realized. stopped talking. looked at shiro. and then proceeded to cautiously say “what else does he play with takashi”

**pidgerino:** shiro looked at keith and then matt and then dad and he said “beats me. i hardly spend enough time with him to see him outside of work”

**pidgerino:** shiro got out unscathed.

**pidgerino:** matt got grilled a little more for playing with his food by mom and then dad gave matt that look like the adult evil eye “we are gonna have a Chat tonight child”

**pidgerino:** @ shiro and keith if you hear yelling in strange tongues its italian dont be alarmed i will translate to the best of my abilities for you on here

**pidgerino:** because all is fair when matt takes me time on xbox

**pidgerino:** it was MY tuRN and hes getting what he deserves

**Sharpshooter:** TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA

 

_ 9:12 _

 

**LANCES bf:** its begun. they went to the basement very quietly. and then all of a sudden we just heard what sounded like “IM SORRY?” and then the italian began

**pidgerino:** mom just shut the door but she has no idea im sitting right here listning anyway lmfao here we GO

**pidgerino:** dad just said “what was keith talking about at the table? thats not a way to talk at the table!” matt didnt respond? and dad said “what he says doesnt matter but why does he know of such things”

**pidgerino:** i cant hear matt more to come

**pidgerino:** “ARE YOU BEING SAFE. HAVE YOU GOTTEN TESTED?”

**pidgerino:** matt screamed in agony??

**pidgerino:** has matt gotten tested? shiro have you been tested? im concerned i dont want to live with stds

**pidgerino:** “why does keith know?” “he walked in on us a few days ago” “IS THAT WHER EYOU WERE?”

**pidgerino:** KEITH WHAT DID YOU  D O

**pidgerino:** “i am a young man dad i do what i must” “while keith is there!?” “keith WASNT there and then he WAS” WHAT THE FUCK KEITH WHAT

**pidgerino:** “i swear to god shiro even BROUGHT him to lances house and then he APPEARED we had no idea he was coming” “how do you not know isnt shiro keiths guardian?” “yes and no? i dont know”

**pidgerino:** its getting quieter but i heard “do you use protection”

**pidgerino:** smh this whole house speaks italian except for the broganes this is embarrassing

**pidgerino:** shiro is now being called. hes taking the walk of shame.

**pidgerino:** ill record this bc itll be in english

**pidgerino:** keith you just ruined my dads perfect vision of shiro i cant breathe

**pidgerino:** also shiro just made the throat slitting motion as he walked past me. i dont think he likes that i exposed their sex from a few days ago to all of you

**LANCES bf:** i cannot believe this is happening right now

**LANCES bf:** ABORT colleen found pidge and said “katie do you have to do this every time something happens?”

**LANCES bf:** colleen is onto us she has removed us both from the basement door

**LANCES bf:** update: this is pidge. i left my phone there.

**LANCES bf:** go ahead call me a genius i kno

**Sharpshooter:** we stan the holts

**tshiro:** icannot believe this is ahppening right now

**mattress:** we just got COINED

**mattress:** dad grilled us both

**tshiro:** hes not disappointed in us be hes disappointed that we exposed keith to this behavior AS IF KEITH HIMSELF ISNT GAY

**LANCES bf:** but yall had boners thats nasty

**pidgerino:** phone retrieved

 

_ pidgerino sent 1 video _

 

**tshiro:** PIDGE NO

**balmerina:** PIDGE YES

**tshiro:** SHAY WHY

**balmerina:** TEA TEA TEA TEA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI I SUPPORT ALL MY CHARACTERS INDULGING IN THEIR CULTURE so you bet your ass that those kids are bilingual 
> 
> or rather the holts are just madmen and have dense brains fulls of nonsense


	57. appreciation hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> remember the kerberos mission?
> 
> thats finally incorporated into the story

_ 10:21 _

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** ahem now that the whole mess is over can we have a hand for colleen holt and all she has put up with in her life

**balmerina:** explain

**pidgerino:** WELL ifyou insist.

**pidgerino:** yall know how dad teaches at the college matt n shiro went to?

**pidgerino:** well during those four years the three were being losers and got in a car crash and like legit almost died were flown to the city to be treated

**pidgerino:** deadass called mom like “ur husband and son are like about to die so good evening mrs holt” it was madness

**pidgerino:** shes dealt with all my crisises

**pidgerino:** shes a brave and amazing woman i love my mom

**Sharpshooter:** holy shit i forgot about when they all almost died

**pidgerino:** yeah um? keith drove me and him to the hospital in the middle of the night deadass it was a mess we dont talk about it

**Sharpshooter:** we shant then

**pidgerino:** i just love my mom

**LANCES bf:** can we appreciate that takashi shirogane has been through 2 life impacting car crashes and still takes time out of his life to drive us all places even though he

**tshiro:** keith

**LANCES bf:** its appreciation hour

**tshiro:** watch it keith

 

_ 10:32 _

**Sharpshooter > keith.k**

 

**Sharpshooter:** yikes?

**keith.k:** its fine i shouldnt have said that much

**Sharpshooter:** what

**keith.k:** if i tell you then you are banned from speaking of it ever

**keith.k:** unless shiro does first you hear me

**Sharpshooter:** always. just dont tell me too much and i wont have much to say anyway

**keith.k:** ok well shiro like. freaks out a lot when he has to drive longer distances

**keith.k:** like if he has to leave town he stresses out because the “longer youre in a car the more likely you can be to have an accident” and that stuff freaks him out like he lost his arm when he was 12 and then almost died 10 years later that does a lot of a guy yknow anyway yeah

**Sharpshooter:** shiro has more balls than all of us combined

**keith.k:** yeah

**Sharpshooter:** wait isnt that called ptsd

**keith.k:** yeah

**Sharpshooter:** why didnt you jsut say that then????????

 

_ 10:36 _

**take me to church**

 

**hunkaroo:** we all love each other the end! nice game

**tshiro:** nice game

**balmerina:** nice game

**pidgerino:** dont continue the chain pls

**mattress:** nice game

 

_ pidgerino has removed mattress from the chat _

 

**pidgerino:** i feel god in this chilis tonight

**balmerina:** i feel satan in this dennys

**pidgerino:** oh my god

**balmerina:** ?

**pidgerino:** thats the best response i have ever seen to that quote

**pidgerino:** thank you

**balmerina:** youre welcome

_ 10:52 _

**mattack > tshirogane**

**mattack:** bihh

**tshirogane:** matt

**mattack:** are you okay

**tshirogane:** yeah

**mattack:** keith didnt take shit too far and reveal too much of our dark past?

**tshirogane:** almost did but. i mean hes gonna tell lance. but

**tshirogane:** what can i do

**mattack:** video chat me

**tshirogane:** what

**mattack:** i lov you please facetime me

**tshirogane:** give me a sec i have to put on a shirt

**mattack:** i have seen your erect penis and you want to put on a shirt?

**mattack:** bitch No

_ Incoming call 11:00 _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KEITH MEANS WELL... he does
> 
> (i deadass had to just go in and add more shit to the chapter because it was so short bye)
> 
> also <3 i lov yall
> 
> UPDATE: im late because i forgot i was in the middle of uploading this and took a 8 hour nap sorry


	58. monch the cronch :-)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a regulars days worth of antics?

_ 4:23 _

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** oh nobody added him back yet

**pidgerino:** thank you for sticking to the rule

 

_ tshiro added mattack to the chat _

 

**pidgerino:** SHIRO YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE GOD DAMMIT IM GOING TO INHALE YOUR LEFT ARM

**tshiro:** its time for pidge to go to sleep its past her bed time goodnight pidge sleep well 

**pidgerino:** bed time is dumb

**tshiro:** bed time is good for you

**pidgerino:** how do you know whats good me

**tshiro:** thats my opinion

**Sharpshooter:** that was a perfect set up. you even aced the line. but you ruined it.

**tshiro:** what

**Sharpshooter:** tHATS MY O P IN IOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!

**tshiro:** its time for the teens to go to sleep goodnight

**pidgerino:** my alarm goes off in approximately 30 minutes

**tshiro:** why on earth would you ever

**tshiro:** go to bed!!! change your alarm so you wake up at 6:30 instead of 5!

**tshiro:** nonsense. buffoonery. waking up at 5 in the morning…. sheesh

 

_ 9:20 _

 

**mattack:** p-pic-pinic my foot is exposed!

**Allurable:** Did your family finally find the time of day to take you to a hospital?

**mattack:** yes. they. did.

**Allurable:** Congratulations.

**mattack:** hey can we

**mattack:** hold on

 

_ 9:24 _

**mattack > pidgerino**

 

**mattack:** 2 requests

**pidgerino:** oh no

**mattack:** wtf whyd you respond ur in class

**pidgerino:** when do i not have my phone ready

**mattack:** did you take the google glasses 

**pidgerino:** yeah

**mattack:** amazing i love my sister but anyway

**mattack:** 1 can i change my name back to mattress i feel naked

**pidgerino:** why are you asking me that smh

**mattack:** 2 can we prank lance and add lotor to the chat

**pidgerino:** JASJFJF ADD LOTOR TO LANCES OWN CHAT YES

**pidgerino:** lance will start crying i s2g hell kik himself out im gonna screen record it all because it needs to happen in real time

**mattack:** FANTASTIC THANK YOU   
  


_ 9:30 _

 

_ mattack changed their name to mattress _

_ mattress added Lotor.Daibazaal to  _ **_take me to church_ **

 

**mattress:** welcome to our sick and twisted minds

 

_ 9:32 _

**Allurable > mattack**

 

**Alluable:** Matthew what did you just do

**mattack:** prank lance :)

**Allurable:** He will murder you in cold blood.

**mattack:** im here for a good time not a long time

**Allurable:** Fantastic. Keep living like that.

**Allurable:** I have no idea why I expected anything different from you.

**mattack:** explain

**Allurable:** Your personality is very… Out there. You seem like the kind of person who takes risks for whatever reason just for a sort of adrenaline rush. You do things impulsively.

**Allurable:** And yet you are dating Shiro who is very calculated and organized.

**mattack:** it cancels out into 1 normal human

**Allurable:** Yes.

**mattack:** its why we work?? not to offend u if it does

**Allurable:** It doesn’t.

**Allurable:** Shiro and I are too alike and, whether we’d like to admit or not, a bit selfish in a sense. We didn’t dedicate as much time as we could’ve into our relationship.

**Allurable:** You force him into it. It’s good for both of you. Pull Shiro’s head from his ass.

**mattack:** pull shiros head rom my ass got it

**Allurable:** matthew

**mattack:** allura

**Allurable:** i have to leave this is done we are no longer friends good Bye matthew

 

_ 11:32 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** time to monch the cronch

**hunkaroo:** never again

**Sharpshooter:** monch my cronch keith

**hunkaroo:** NEVER AGAIN

**Sharpshooter:** ur jus mad that im geting monch cronch

**hunkaroo:** say monch cronch again and i will LEAVE CLASS and come SMACK YOU

**Sharpshooter:** fine i wont i swear

 

_ Sharpshooter sent 1 video _

 

**hunkaroo:** what is that

**hunkaroo:** lance mcclain what is that

**Sharpshooter:** a surprise

**hunkaroo:** KICK HIM OUT OF THE CHAT!??!

**pidgerino:** YOU MADE KEITH SAY CRONCH FJFFJFJ

**hunkaroo:** brb see u soon lance :)

**pidgerino:** FILM IT KEITH PLEASE BITCH   
**LANCES bf:** anything for you my intergalactic friend

**Sharpshooter:** what the fuck are yall talkinga bout

**pidgerino:** its a surprise :)

**Sharpshooter:** SOTP

 

_ LANCES bf sent 1 video _

 

**pidgerino:** its what she deserves :)

**tshiro:** hunk go to class??

**tshiro:** pidge you better have lunch right now

**pidgerino:** i do

**Sharpshooter:** and you dont sit with us?? wtf

**pidgerino:** i sit with my friends

**Sharpshooter:** UM

**pidgerino:** the friends in my grade not two gay losers in a corner smh

**Sharpshooter:** do you talk about us

**pidgerino:** they enjoy the stories i have to share every day about what happens in this very chat

**tshiro:** kick her out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PIDGE: yesterday my brother talked about his boyfriends dick for a solid 6 minutes  
> PIDGES FRIENDS: wait isnt your boyfriend dating a really hot guy though  
> PIDGE: he didnt mention size if thats what youre asking
> 
> SHES 14 AND I LOVE HER JFJFJJJDL
> 
> PS: in honor of 4/20 I'm giving you guys another chapter because its what you deserve


	59. loreal redemption arc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance + lotor /= fun

_ 3:32 _

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** good morning where are the girls i have a question. shiro can also answer i guess

**pidgerino:** girls. im asking like every female i know except colleen how do you feel when you look down at ur own boobs in a bra

**Sharpshooter:** are you asking so you can pretend you have boobs

**pidgerino:** BIH i take my flat chest with pride sweat cheeks

**pidgerino:** i can wear anything i want and look swell

**Sharpshooter:** “swell”

**pidgerino:** ur mad because you dont have tits

**hunkaroo:** what the heck

**pidgerino:** I HAD AN INNOCENT QUESTION FOR THE PEOPLE

**pidgerino:** LANCE RUINED IT

**hunkaroo:** dont you think you couldve dmed allura and shay tho

**pidgerino:** but whats the fun in that

**hunkaroo:** their privacy

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** What on Earth.

**Sharpshooter:** WAIT 

**Sharpshooter:** WHOMST THE HELL

**pidgerino:** hi lotor

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Good afternoon.

**pidgerino:** u need a fun nickname like the rest of us hold on

 

_ pidgerino changed Lotor.Daibazaal ‘s name to loreal _

 

**loreal:** Loreal?

**pidgerino:** yup!

**loreal:** Thank you I suppose

**pidgerino:** its a custom

**pidgerino:** anyway im pidge. u know allura and lance. and shiro already. do u know matt? dont talk to matt hes weird.

**pidgerino:** weve been meaning to get him quarinteened but havent had the time

**pidgerino:** hunk has his name in his @ so thats not hard

**pidgerino:** keith is lances boyfriend theyre homosexual dont bring it up or they start talking about each other its gross uve been warned

**pidgerino:** we stan shay. dont mess with that fact. shay is the best and hunks favorite

**loreal:** I see.

**loreal:** I think I understand all that? I’ll make a note

**Sharpshooter:** im 

**Sharpshooter:** who did this

**Allurable:** Oh dear.

**Allurable:** It’s happened

**loreal:** Hello, Allura

**Allurable:** Welcome, Lotor.

**loreal:** Can you verify Pidge’s advise?

**Allurable:** It’s all quite accurate, yes.

**Allurable:** But another tip: don’t question a 14 year old in AP Chemistry.

**loreal:** Understood

**loreal:** Thank you

**pidgerino:** also u dont have ot be formal thats alluras gig idk

**loreal:** It’s natural, my bad

**pidgerino:** WE NAMED U LOREAL OML CHILL BRO we all gucci here

**Sharpshooter:** i want to know who did this

**pidgerino:** hold on

**pidgerino:** panties are in bundles jesus christ lance

 

_ 3:48 _

**pidgerino > mattack**

 

**pidgerino:** are you a live lance is going ballistic in the gc

**mattack:** I AM NOW

 

_ 3:49 _

**take me to church**

 

**mattress:** howdy

**pidgerino:** matt do you have something useful to say

**mattress:** yes. i. do.

**loreal:** hello matt

**mattress:** sup man

**mattress:** welcome to the ugliest group chat you will ever see

**loreal:** you added me to it

**Sharpshooter:** KICK MATT OUT KICK HIM O U T

**pidgerino:** nah this is a good day

**Sharpshooter:** i am. disgusted

**mattress:** dont mind them theyre still in high school

**loreal:** that explains a lot

**balmerina:** toasted. grilled. burned to a crisp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i WANTED to leave yall hanging on the lotor situation at hand but its a holiday and i hate every being of my fiber


	60. call him out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hunk is a good friend and keith is insecure again

_ 6:34 _

**take me to church**

 

**LANCES bf:** does anybody want to explain to me a quick question

**LANCES bf:** WHY

**hunkaroo:** why what

**LANCES bf:** wait nevermind

**hunkaroo:** keith.

 

_ 6:36 _

**hunkindonuts > keith.k**

 

**hunkindonuts:** were all friends here keith whats up

**keith.k:** i realized right after i said that

**keith.k:** that i couldnt say it in the group

**hunkindonuts:** so it….. wasnt a lance call out?

**keith.k:** no its a shiro call out

**hunkindonuts:** oh?

**keith.k:** yeah its just

**keith.k:** he keeps just showing up at home at weird hours or he shows up with matt unannounced or matt just shows up on his own unannounced

**keith.k:** and i like matt. hes funny and were friends too

**hunkindonuts:** but shiro isnt telling you these things so its putting you off?

**keith.k:** yeah

**hunkindonuts:** is that it?

**keith.k:** not exactly

**hunkindonuts:** still about shiro?

**keith.k:** yeah.

**hunkindonuts:** do you wanna tell me?

**keith.k:** i can

**hunkindonuts:** go for it man

**keith.k:** ok well

**keith.k:** during that time after shiro broke up with allura before he was with matt

**keith.k:** yknow the time where he was actually single for the first time since high school

**keith.k:** we were always hanging out and doing stuff

**hunkindonuts:** keith

**keith.k:** but now that hes with matt they spend so much time together that i dont get to hardly ever spend time with shiro unless matts at work AND im not at school

**hunkindonuts:** keith you need to talk to him about this?

**hunkindonuts:** as cool as shiro is i dont think he can read minds

**keith.k:** i know but i just wish he would somehow understand

**hunkindonuts:** you have to talk to him

**hunkindonuts:** if you want to spend more time with him then you have to tell him yeah?

**keith.k:** yeah

**keith.k:** but how

**hunkindonuts:** this might be a little weird. but this is how you do it

**hunkindonuts:** walk up to him (when matt isnt around)

**hunkindonuts:** say “hey shiro”

**hunkindonuts:** “what”

**hunkindonuts:** “i miss the time we spend together because youre always so occupied with matt and we dont do that a lot anymore”

**hunkindonuts:** “i understand thank you im sorry”

**hunkindonuts:** and usually hugging it out in the end helps

**keith.k:** oh

**hunkindonuts:** shiros a nice guy. you know that the most of all of us.

**hunkindonuts:** dont overthink his reactions.

**hunkindonuts:** if shiro goes batshit on you then i vow to you one favor of any degree (other than illegal) that i will do for you

**keith.k:** deal

**hunkindonuts:** is he there right now?

**keith.k:** nope

**hunkindonuts:** damn

**hunkindonuts:** usually right after a pep talk is the best time to do it uhhh

**keith.k:** hes at work

**hunkindonuts:** until?

**keith.k:** 8

**hunkindonuts:** shit man do you wanna wait it out?

**hunkindonuts:** we can group call lance pidge and shay and watch a movie or something

**keith.k:** yes please

 

_ 6:53 _

_ hunkindonuts added keith.k, Sharpshooter, balmerina, pidgerino to  _ **_the cool kids_ **

 

**Sharpshooter:** nani kore

**hunkindonuts:** we are the cool kids

**Sharpshooter:** yes but why

**hunkindonuts:** i just said why blockhead

**balmerina:** im also confused??

**hunkindonuts:** were gonna watch a movie together very fast

**pidgerino:** how long can the movie be

**hunkindonuts:** as close to an hour as you can get

**pidgerino:** zombieland

**Sharpshooter:** PLESE YES OK IM FINDING A STREAMING SITE RN

**balmerina:** im so glad pidge is a local genius

**pidgerino:** 83 minutes INCLUDING credits

**hunkindonuts:** she googled it

**pidgerino:** of course i did im not a movie geek smh

**Sharpshooter:** rabbit is ready to go come join [link]

**balmerina:** amen are we voice chatting ?

**pidgerino:** thats boring

**hunkindonuts:** video?

**pidgerino:** video

**hunkindonuts:** @ keith u gonna join?

**keith.k:** yeah hold on i need to get my laptop and manually type in the link lance sent thanks lance

**Sharpshooter:** ur welcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u think hunk n keith are not good pals who talk about lance and pidge to each other u are wrong sir  
> they support each other all the time SO
> 
> also im falling behind in writing again im so sorry
> 
> EDIT: instead of another chapter, i am going to spend a few days WRITING chapters so i can blast em out for you guys again. IN THE MEANTIME guess who wrote more soft klance??!? me. go give it a read. its prom season and im a teenager who is kinda into that stuff so i did a thing with klance that references this fic A TINY BIT


	61. antman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> allura calls out the bs in the world part 62

_8:32_

**plunk**

 

 **Scoot:** i dont wanna ask the whole gc um lance where the Fuck did keith go

 **Furry:** MAN IDK he just up and left

 **Snoot:** oh hes talking to shiro

 **Furry:** oh?

 **Snoot:** its pretty personal just let him do it dont mess with him until he reappears

 **Scoot:** aight coo

 **Furry:** Oh?

 **Snoot:** lance pls no

 **Furry:** OH?

 **Snoot:** goodbye lance

 **Furry:** oh

 

_8:41_

**keith.k > hunkindonuts**

 

 **keith.k:** well i talked to shiro

 **hunkindonuts:** good! how did it go?

 **keith.k:** he pulled out the dad thing but he said hell talk to matt about it without exposing me

 **keith.k:** and weve established a rule of no boyfriends overnight

 **keith.k:** unless the other part has been informed 24 hours prior to announcement

 **hunkindonuts:** man you broganes are weird people but im glad its settled!

 **keith.k:** me too

 **hunkindonuts:** you coming back to movie night?

 **keith.k:** can we watch antman next

 **hunkindonuts:** ask the group dear god dont ask me

 

_8:46_

**the cool kids**

 

 **keith.k:** can we watch mothman

 **pidgerino:** dare you speak again kogane and i will have your neck in my palms

 **keith.k:** you of all people to betray me

 **pidgerino:** ANTMAN IS AWFUL

 **balmerina:** so youve seen it?

 

_8:50_

 

 **hunkindonuts:** exposed

 **balmerina:** i cant believe you watched antman

 **Sharpshooter:** are you guys really kinkshaming keith and pidge over ANTMAN

 **balmerina:** its not a kink unless one of them apologizes

 **Sharpshooter:** JFLJSLKFJ SHAY

 **balmerina:** ITS TRUE?

 **balmerina:** we are currently just shaming the existence of antman

 **hunkindonuts:** walks up to lance and keith

 **hunkindonuts:** so which one of you is antman and which one of you is the wasp

 **Sharpshooter:** THATS AN ATTACK ON ME PERSONALLY

 **hunkindonuts:** wait for it

 **Sharpshooter:** also keith is not qualified to be either of them

 **Sharpshooter:** keith is like. raven or smth

 **balmerina:** KINKSHAMED

 **Sharpshooter:** NO!!!

 **hunkindonuts:** EXPOSED!!

 

_8:59_

**take me to church**

 

_hunkaroo sent one image_

 

 **hunkaroo:** kinkshame them all

 **mattress:** MY OWN SISTER

 **Allurable:** Last I recall, Antman is not a cryptic entity of which you two engage in.

 **mattress:** i never imagined alllura of all people

 **pidgerino:** blocked. all of u

 **hunkaroo:** hold on

 

_hunkaroo changed pidgerino ‘s name to antman_luvr_

 

 **antman_luvr:** BLOCKED

 

_antman_luvr removed hunkaroo from the chat_

 

 **mattress:** NOT HUNK

 

_Allurable added hunkindonuts to the chat_

 

 **hunkindonuts:** she mad tho

 **antman_luvr:** yes she mad tho

 **hunkindonuts:** u can just change it back

 

_antmanluvr changed their name to pidgerino_

 

 **pidgerino:** shit you right man sorry

 **hunkindonuts:** apology accepted ant fucker

 **pidgerino:** HUNK?!???????? WHY ME

 **hunkindonuts:** it slipped

 **tshiro:** youre texting

 **pidgerino:** ur texting

 **hunkindonuts:** quaint

 **pidgerino:** omfg hunk pls

 **Allurable:** Even I didn't think this would happen.

 **balmerina:** i love

 **balmerina:** stan

 **hunkindonuts:** aw :)

 **tshiro:** cute

 **mattress:**  me too

 **mattress:** stan me

 **tshiro:** no 

 **pidgerino:** thank u shiro

 **hunkindonuts:** gods work

 **tshiro:** i am not god

 **pidgerino:** i worship all who hate matt

 **mattress:** thanks katelyn

 **hunkindonuts:** i saw you hanging out with katelyn yesterday

 **mattress:** rebecca.......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi im here im sorry UH,,, have this? im sorry,, ive been busy trying to forge together matt cosplay and i been DAMN sleepy lately so i actually havent been writing like i said i was gonna BUT I DID THIS?
> 
> LOOK AT THE WORD COUNT I WORKED HARD FOR THIS MOMENT


	62. the end of an era

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rip my dude its not for everybody

_ 5:38 _

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** good morning fam

**Sharpshooter:** yall lit

**tshiro:** ITS THE WEEKEND

**pidgerino:** and i did not sleep good morning fam

**tshiro:** good night

**Sharpshooter:** goooooooooooooood morning

**hunkaroo:** GOOD MORNING!

**tshiro:** WHY ARE YOU ALL AWAKE

**hunkaroo:** 2 used 2 school

**pidgerino:** tbh thats the reality of it

**tshiro:** oh understandable have a nice day

 

_ 7:34 _

 

**loreal:** Good morning, all.

**loreal:** I don’t have the courage to have my phone going off at all hours of the day, so I must unfortunately take my leave.

**loreal:** However, you are all very interesting

 

_ loreal has left the chat _

 

**mattress:** i forgot about him i feel bad

**Sharpshooter:** oh mood but its ok now he knows all of our secrets

**Allurable:** You lot are not something everybody can just absorb on a dime, you know.

**Sharpshooter:** wym were great

**Allurable:** Keep saying that, Lance.

**mattress:** omdfg allura no

**Allurable:** omdfg allura yes

**mattress:** JFJJJ QUEEN

**Sharpshooter:** ALSDKJ

**tshiro:** you are all crazy

**Allurable:** wym were great

**tshiro:** THAT

**tshiro:** THAT RIGHT THERE IS WHY I SAID THAT

**tshiro:** Allura I thought you were on a different level than this

**Allurable:** I am basically a teenager, Shiro. I don’t know what you expected.

**tshiro:** good point this is all cancelled go home go to bed what tiem is it

**mattress:** idk get a watch

**Allurable:** What does the top of your screen say, Matthew?

**mattress:** verizon

**Allurable:** No.

 

_ 10:34 _

 

**hunkindonuts:** what the Heck

**hunkindonuts:** i wake up and lotor has lost faith in us

**hunkindonuts:** allura isnt using caps

**hunkindonuts:** AND matt is being stupider than usual

**mattress:** u just called a genius stupid

**Sharpshooter:** if youre a genius whats your iq

**mattress:** bad question

**Sharpshooter:** how

**mattress:** a genius doesnt need a number to prove their smartness

**tshiro:** you just used the word smartness

**mattress:** LEAVE ME ALONE ITS A QUOTE

**pidgerino:** “People who boast about their IQ are losers” is what hes thinking of

**tshiro:** what a genius wow

**pidgerino:** i know right its almost like hes actually smart or something

**tshiro:** im impressed its kind of turning me on

**mattress:** you get off on this body dont even act like its a joke anymore takashi

**tshiro:** stop

**mattress:** NAH I KNOW ALL UR KINKS I WILL EXPOSE YOU

**tshiro:** but i know yours too?

**mattress:** im not afraid of my kinks

**pidgerino:** omfg

**hunkindonuts:** this is why lotor left

**pidgerino:** ^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bye lotor :^)
> 
> i dont know how to write him lmfao 
> 
> ALSO HI IM HERE AND ALIVE  
> life has gotten SUPER crazy lately and ive been doing so much between family things, school, a cute boy, music, and recently getting a job, ive been hella occupied and this is what i have to show for it.  
> anyway! good news for those who enjoy my hellhole!
> 
> i graduate in 20 days!! and that means i will have LOADS more time to write and update a LOT more frequently again!
> 
> bad news tho............ until then, im not gonna upload another chapter until then (unless my schedule is really open for a day)
> 
> in the meantime! i do have a lot of social media if some of yall wanna talk n be bros or smth.
> 
> i just feel like you all deserve to know where the boltron baby went because i flaked and didnt even notice until like. an hour ago
> 
> ANYWAY happy may i now have many ideas for chapters so youll see those later (prom is one of them [even tho itll be a month out of season lmfao] so prepare for more soft klance :D)


	63. tis the season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im a little late on the whole prom thing but thats nothing new if you know me

_ 5:34 _

**take me to church**

 

**balmerina:** you guys know what time of year it is

**Sharpshooter:** of COURSE i do

**Sharpshooter:** happy prom season sluts

**pidgerino:** EW HE GoES TO PROM

**Sharpshooter:** pidge pls prom is really fun you jsut dont understand

**pidgerino:** i understand that last year there was a loaded condom found on the floor and thats all i need to know

**Sharpshooter:** well.

**balmerina:** this year will be different!

**pidgerino:** there will be more

**balmerina:** no!

**tshiro:** are you all going to prom?

**balmerina:** lol idk depends if hunk or i ask the other ya feel

**tshiro:** right i forgot kids do that stuff

**LANCES bf:** didnt you ask allura to prom though

**tshiro:** yeah and

**LANCES bf:** just checking man who is in his 50s i guess

**tshiro:** im 25

**LANCES bf:** 250

**Sharpshooter:** schooled

**pidgerino:** anyway prom

**pidgerino:** should i be expecting gross romance from the klance faction that night

**pidgerino:** i need to prepare the barf bucket if so

**mattress:** you are not touching the barf bucket mom needs it for actual cleaning

**pidgerino:** you were not supposed to reveal the bar bucket being an actual holt household item matthew

**mattress:** kathleen i will do what i will

**pidgerino:** its

**mattress:** shut up katielynn

**pidgerino:** i

**mattress:** kathrine

**Sharpshooter:** omg stop

**tshiro:** awful all 4 of you

**balmerina:** ty shiro

**tshiro:** you deserve it

**balmerina:** :D

**LANCES bf:** my own blood

**mattress:** my own boyfriend

**Sharpshooter:** my own cousin in law

**pidgerino:** fuck you shiro

**Sharpshooter:** LFJJF

**hunkindonuts:** how did it come to this

**hunkindonuts:** she asked about prom and it came down to “fuck you shiro”

**hunkindonuts:** how

**balmerina:** hunk

**hunkindonuts:** shay

**balmerina:** stop asking questions

**hunkindonuts:** u rite srry 

**balmerina:** issok i accept you

**hunkindonuts:** i am?

**Sharpshooter:** hetero stop it

**hunkindonuts:** lance plesase

**Sharpshooter:** sorry

 

_ 5:54 _

**hunkindonuts > balmerina**

 

**hunkindonuts:** SO ABOUT PROM THOUGH

**balmerina:** uwu?

**hunkindonuts:** cancelled officially never happening i gotta go

**balmerina:** unu

**hunkindonuts:** wait

**hunkindonuts:** no but really

**hunkindonuts:** do you want a huge promposal thing

**balmerina:** hunk lemme ask u smth

**hunkindonuts:** listening

**balmerina:** am i a teenage girl?

**hunkindonuts:** i hope so

**balmerina:** i am

**balmerina:** so what do you think?

**hunkindonuts:** got it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI I HAVE TIME TO WRITE GOOD MORNING KIDS :D


	64. neil armstrong and a wallet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a shallura prom tale and a klance chat

_ 6:03 _

**take me to church**

 

**Allurable:** I remember prom like it was yesterday.

**tshiro:** you do?

**Allurable:** Yes.

**tshiro:** i am so sorry

**pidgerino:** wait theres a story here

**Allurable:** Long version or condensed, Shiro?

**tshiro:** condensed pleas

**tshiro:** she doesnt deserve to know everything

**Allurable:** I can do that.

**Allurable:** So, it begins as a normal day of prom.

**Allurable:** I, being the girl, spend hours getting ready to look stunning in order to make every boy’s head turn.

**Allurable:** Shiro, being a boy, takes about 3 and a half minutes including the time it took to put his suit on.

**tshiro:** not true my hair took an HOUR

**Allurable:** We go to pictures and it’s hectic as always, but that’s irrelevant. The story happens at dinner.

**Allurable:** We went out to eat with a group of friends. Keep in mind here that we were the only real couple there. It’s crucial to the events about to unfold

**Allurable:** While eating, we started talking about all things inappropriate.

**Allurable:** Shiro, a gentleman of his time, attempted to shut down the conversation.

**Allurable:** Clapback of the century: “Don’t act like you didn’t JUST come buy condoms with me yesterday hot stuff”

**Allurable:** Embarrassed, Shiro exists the facility.

**Allurable:** Confrontation.

**Allurable:** In spite, the two of us leave and make them pay for us.

**Allurable:** In attempt to pull out his ID, Shiro, being an utter fool (nothing has changed since), drops his wallet.

**Allurable:** Said purchase of yesterday evening with his friend spills onto the floor of the venue.

**pidgerino:** I CANNOT BELIEVE U SHIRO

**tshiro:** at least i ? did? think ahead?

**pidgerino:** YOU WERE INTENDING TO GEt LAID

**tshiro:** and after that it did not happen at all

**pidgerino:** LAJSFJFJFJJ

**pidgerino:** YOU ACTUALLY PLANNED IT OUT

**tshiro:** it was a Thing back then

**Allurable:** It was…

**mattress:** OMG PROM STORIES

**tshiro:** matt can you confirm getting laid on prom was a thing

**mattress:** hell yeah it was. people would go for an hour and then suddenly half the school would “leave” and go fuck

**Allurable:** I didn’t think I would fall into that category. And I didn’t.

**tshiro:** i felt bad so i just let you do what you wanted

**mattress:** NAYWAY on MY PROM NIGHT my date was a framed picture of neil armstrong

**mattress:** the pictures of me, bae bae, and neil are divine

**tshiro:** i date him

**pidgerino:** mhm

 

_ 7:10 _

 

**Sharpshooter:** haha imagine if keith and i fucked on prom night

**tshiro:** lay a hand on keith and you will inevitably never see him again

**LANCES bf:** i wont shiro its okay

**hunkindonuts:** this is awkward

**pidgerino:** agreed

 

_ 7:14 _

**Sharpshooter > keith.k**

 

**Sharpshooter:** are you just playing him like a fiddle or

**keith.k:** no im not

**Sharpshooter:** oh

**keith.k:** i dont want to have sex with you ok

**Sharpshooter:** ouch

**keith.k:** no thats not it

**keith.k:** i dont know what it is i just dont want to do it with anybody 

**keith.k:** so its not you

**Sharpshooter:** keith

**keith.k:** yeah

**Sharpshooter:** its okay

**Sharpshooter:** i get it

**Sharpshooter:** but can i ask one thing

**keith.k:** yeah

**Sharpshooter:** is the idea repulsive or just uncomfortable

**keith.k:** i think its more of an uncomfortable thing but i dont know

**Sharpshooter:** its ok dont stress about it

**Sharpshooter:** tbh i was joking just to yank shiros chain too

**keith.k:** what

**Sharpshooter:** i talked a little with pidge and hunk a while ago

**Sharpshooter:** pidge is 900% sure youre asexual and i dont even

**keith.k:** yeah

**keith.k:** shes right

**Sharpshooter:** you couldve just told me that

**Sharpshooter:** i know what it means yknow

**keith.k:** i wasnt sure

**Sharpshooter:** you couldve asked

**keith.k:** i didnt want to insult you if you did know

**Sharpshooter:** you being afraid of insulting me? is this keith?

**keith.k:** shut up you loser

**Sharpshooter:** pff

**keith.k:** i cant believe you

**Sharpshooter:** wow so original

**keith.k:** oh my god

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shiro is just as embarrassing as every other man. dont let the rippling abs throw you off.
> 
> HI!!!! im a graduate now
> 
> so in honor of that. heres a long anticipated chapter? the content isnt anticipated but the update is. thats what im saying.


	65. Chapter 65

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> plunk have a discussion and pidge ruins some lives
> 
> whats new

_ 8:52 _

**plunk**

 

**Snoot:** okay i need help

**Scoot:** explain

**Snoot:** promposal for shay

**Scoot:** oh Boy

**Snoot:** I WANNA DO SOMETHING WITH ROCKS AND FOOD AND

**Snoot:** i got it

**Scoot:** YOU

**Snoot:** Rock candy.

**Snoot:** homemade rock candy??? in her favorite colors? is that. is that a good idea or is that dumb?

**Scoot:** Hunk if she hates rock candy by mr garret she will not know mr garret anymore

**Snoot:** Wow thanks ok

**Furry:** you dont even consult me

**Snoot:** should i?

**Furry:** I already know how im asking keith so yeah?? you should

**Snoot:** how

**Furry:** i bought him a blade

**Scoot:** WHY

**Scoot:** WHY ANOTHER ONE

**Furry:** me, slapping blades at keiths feet

**Furry:** another one another one another one another one

**Scoot:** the american cheese…………………………..

**Snoot:** my favorite vine

**Furry:** Im glad you are my best friends

**Snoot:** :.)

**Scoot:** hunk no

 

_ 11:24 _

**keith.k > pidgerino**

 

**keith.k:** listen to this

**pidgerino:** holla?

**keith.k:** prank matt and shiro

**pidgerino:** HOLLA?

**keith.k:** convince them u have a boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever your romantic interest is

**pidgerino:** batman

**keith.k:** that wont work

**pidgerino:** also either is fine

**pidgerino:** but i like scaring them to death

**pidgerino:** should i text colleen and samuel

**keith.k:** we can figure this out first

**pidgerino:** touche

**keith.k:** i was thinking it be me but they might not follow

**pidgerino:** right right UM

**pidgerino:** IDEA?

**pidgerino:** ALLURA?

**keith.k:** allura is in her 20s

**pidgerino:** thatd make them lose it even more

**keith.k:** text allura

**pidgerino:** already on it

 

_ 12:05 _

**pidgerino > Allurable**

 

**pidgerino:** allura i love you and i know its late but i have a goddamn idea

**Allurable:** What?

**pidgerino:** prank shiro and matt

**pidgerino:** fake a relationship

**Allurable:** I am 7 years older than you.

**pidgerino:** all the scare factor

**Allurable:** I like it.

**pidgerino:** ready to come out as a lesbian allura

**Allurable:** Always

**pidgerino:** be prepared to talk sap to me and dont hesitate to make me gag

**Allurable:** Anytime, dear.

 

_ 12:11 _

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** anybody up? smash like

**Sharpshooter:** like

**hunkindonuts:** like

**mattress:** dislike

**pidgerino:** get out of my HOUSE you RAT

**Sharpshooter:** before the holt squabble begins

**Sharpshooter:** why are you asking

**pidgerino:** bc i have to admit a thing

**Sharpshooter:** gossip?

**pidgerino:** YEAH

**hunkindonuts:** owo?

**pidgerino:** stop that

**pidgerino:** anyway um?

**pidgerino:** i know im ace but im also a lesbian and uh

**pidgerino:** i am??? dating allura

**Sharpshooter:** you

**hunkindonuts:** you

**mattress:** you

**tshiro:** katie anne holt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO FAR BEHIND IN THE TIMELINE BC I DIDNT UPDATE FOREVER SO IM LIKE EARLY MAY LMAO 
> 
> anyway im dying from sore throat and stuff but im still here
> 
> ALSO HOLY BALLS 14 more kudos to 666 and were almost 69 bookmarks and on those numbers i will worsship this fic it wont seem real the amount of chapters that go up


	66. horny on main

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> most of the group is settling into the idea that pidge and allura are "dating"

_ 4:35 _

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** srry i passed out whats up shiro

**Sharpshooter:** did you FORGET last tnight???

**pidgerino:** hol on im scroll

**pidgerino:** oh

**pidgerino:** haha i slipped up huh

**Sharpshooter:** SLIPPED?

**Sharpshooter:** YOU TELLIN ME THAT WASNT A BAD DECISION 

**Sharpshooter:** AN A C CI D E N T?

**pidgerino:** well

**pidgerino:** i was clearly tired soooooooooooo

**pidgerino:** good morning

**Sharpshooter:** nah nah good night kid

**Allurable:** Oh dear…

**Allurable:** Pidge I did think we could tell them all together instead of you in a sleep deprived haze.

**pidgerino:** srry b

**Allurable:** It’s fine. What’s done is done, after all.

**Sharpshooter:** WAIT SO IT IS A THING?

**Allurable:** Yes?

**pidgerino:** lance ur so slow lmao

**Sharpshooter:** ANYWAY allura andshiro are the same person now

**Allurable:** Amazing, isn’t it?

**Allurable:** We both have an acute interest in a Holt of the same sex as us.

**pidgerino:** aka: ur gay for a holt

**Allurable:** In short, yeah.

**mattress:** Allura I love you and you aremy QUEEN DUTCHESS EVERyTHING but i swear to god

**Allurable:** I won’t hurt her.

**mattress:** NO NO fucking knock her out smh

**pidgerino:** MAtt NO

**mattress:** clock her

**pidgerino:** m a t t

**mattress:** BLAM she down next thing ya know its fucken. july

 

_ 5:11 _

**pidgerino > Allurable**

 

**pidgerino:** this is lovely

**Allurable:** Definitely

**Allurable:** Did you contact your parents to make sure they follow?

**pidgerino:** i told them while matt was sleeping

**pidgerino:** i mean. i went down and was like “allura and i are dating” and they were SHOOK but then i explained its a joke so yeah they know

**Allurable:** I have also talked to Coran and my father so they know as well. Just in case Shiro calls.

**pidgerino:** WHAT A MONSTER I LOV U

**Allurable:** Speaking of Shiro…

**Allurable:** He hasn’t said anything in the group chat since the prank was initiated.

**pidgerino:** he called me out full name but thats it

**Allurable:** Right

**pidgerino:** he can deal w it

**Allurable:** I know.

**pidgerino:** dont worry abt him. matt can deal with it

 

_ 5:29 _

**take me to church**

 

**LANCES bf** : wait pidge and allura are dating

**LANCES bf:** is literally everybody in this chat dating each other what the hell are we

**Sharpshooter:** a bunch of gays plus hunk and shay thats what

**mattress:** horny on main

**Sharpshooter:** i didnt want to word it like that for a reason

**mattress:** too late

**LANCES bf:** thanks matt

**pidgerino:** i hate every man in this chat

**balmerina:** WOAH i missed a lot

**balmerina:** first? congrats to pidge and allura? s/o to pidge for stealing lances dream girl

**Allurable:** He is my second cousin.

**Sharpshooter:** and

**Allurable:** I’m a lesbian

**balmerina:** i love u allura

**Allurable:** Love you too, Shay

**Sharpshooter:** touche mlady

**pidgerino:** shut the f

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WERE ALMOST AT 666 JASJFJLDJF
> 
> POOR SHIRO LMAO HES LIKE GONE (season5) rip my dude


	67. what do you have? a brogane! no!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shiro arrives back to the chat thanks to a certain fool

_ 8:42 _

**mattack > pidgerino**

 

**mattack:** k8 what did you do

**pidgerino:** explain

_ mattack sent an image _

**mattack:** shiro hasnt talked to me all day

**mattack:** hasnt said anything in the gc

**pidgerino:** man idk maybe hes busy??

**mattack:** or peeved outta his mind

**pidgerino:** does he work today

**mattack:** uhhhhhhhhhhhh

**pidgerino:** matt i s2g if hes at work and ur freaking out over NOTHING

**mattack:** NO he works tomorrow

**pidgerino:** have u called him

**mattack:** 2 times

**pidgerino:** talk to keith idk

**mattack:** deadass kid dont make shiro sad pls

**pidgerino:** im not TRYING to?

**mattack:** what are you trying to do then

**pidgerino:** um? well

**mattack:** oh my god

**mattack:** PIDGE

**mattack:** i cannot believe you went this far

**pidgerino:** IT WAS KEITHS IDEA

_ pidgerino sent an image _

**mattack:** you two are the most aggressively evil children i will ever MEET

**pidgerino:** should i tell allura to call it off

**mattack:** not until shiro puts in his 2 cents omfg plesase

**pidgerino:** MATT

 

_ 9:04 _

**take me to church**

 

**mattress:** @tshiro wake up sleepy head

**mattress:** speak

**mattress:** roll over

**mattress:** fetch

**tshiro:** matt

**mattress:** good morning honey

**tshiro:** its 9 at night

**mattress:** and are you just waking up?

**tshiro:** no

**mattress:** oh

**mattress:** then whatcha doooooooin

**tshiro:** coexisting with the fact that my boyfriends younger sister is dating my ex girlfriend

**mattress:** jesus 

**tshiro:** well its true

**mattress:** do u really hate it that much

**tshiro:** i dont hate it its just weird to think about

**mattress:** and do u realize this is the gc

**tshiro:** matt im going to punch you in the testicle

**mattress:** SHOULDDA CHECKED

**tshiro:** sorry pidge and allura

**pidgerino:** nah its all good in this hood bc

**pidgerino:** its all a prank anyway lmfao

**pidgerino:** keith allura and i wanted to instigate u

**tshiro:** pidge i will punch you in the throat

**mattress:** I FUCKING LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

**Sharpshooter:** ok who had the original idea thats what i want to know

**pidgerino:** keith

**tshiro:** keith i will punch you in the throat

**Sharpshooter:** I FUCKING LOVE MY BOYFRIENDS COUSIN

**hunkindonuts:** keith and shiro are the same person sometimes

**hunkindonuts:** lethal when provoked. provocable for different reasons but nonetheless provocable

**Sharpshooter:** im dating both broganes

**hunkindonuts:** NO!!!!!!

**pidgerino:** “what do you have” “a knife”

**pidgerino:** [9:33]  **hunkindonuts:** NO!!!!!!

**Sharpshooter:** thank you pastor pidge for the sermon my life is changed

**pidgerino:** its out of church hours dont ask for more advise

**Sharpshooter:** understodd have a nice day

**mattress:** understodd

**Sharpshooter:** im fucking your boyfriend

**hunkindonuts:** NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO ANYWAY HOW ABOUT THAT TRAILER IM FUCKING DYING AND WRITING LIKE A MANIAC NOW SINCE IM INSPIRED AGAIN
> 
> also shiro seems like he got over it fast but like. still. hes a good guy and can understand its a prank dont think im just weaseling it bls. he understands that all his friends are idiots. and he cant stay mad at a 14 year old child


	68. keith was murdered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prepare for a lot of lance + matt interaction because these boys need to be fRIENDS

_ 11:23 _

**take me to church**

 

**Allurable:** I feel as if I missed a lot.

**LANCES bf:** were both about to be killed its not that much

**Allurable:** I don’t think Shiro will kill us.

**Allurable:** Just you.

**LANCES bf:** Allura I trusted you

**tshiro:** keith i just wanna know

**LANCES bf:** pidge is destroying me inside and out

**tshiro:** dont blame pidge for what you did

**LANCES bf:** I MEAN IT

**tshiro:** dont make me get it out

**LANCES bf:** shi ro

**tshiro:** keith

**LANCES bf:** IM SORRY

**LANCES bf:** i thought itd be funny sheesh

**tshiro:** say goodbye to keith everybody

 

_ 11:52 _

 

**Sharpshooter:** my boyfriend got murdered?

**mattress:** pidge literally woke me up saying shiro killed keith so yeah

**mattress:** bye keith!

**Sharpshooter:** YOURE NOT GONNA DO SOMETHING

**mattress:** dont mess with a man who can bench press your entire family when hes mad

**Sharpshooter:** actually? omfg how much do u holts WEIGH

**mattress:** hes hoisted both pidge and i over his shoulder before and had room to pick up bae bae

**Sharpshooter:** bae^2

**mattress:** dont question my dog shes amazing in every way possible

**Sharpshooter:** wait this isnt hte point keith is dead

 

_ 12:04 _

**mattack > Sharpshooter**

 

**mattack:** keith is fine

**mattack:** probably phoneless but shiro didnt kill him

**Sharpshooter:** still

**mattack:** do you want me to go check on him?

**Sharpshooter:** please

**mattack:** its fine i get it

**mattack:** also shiros hot when hes peeved so im on my way

**Sharpshooter:** GROSS STOP

**mattack:** WHY DO YOU ThinK I PROVOKE HIM LANCE

**Sharpshooter:** M A T T

**mattack:** DONT TALK TO ME IN THAT TONE 

**Sharpshooter:** STOP BEING KNKKY IN MY DMS IM TELLING SHIRO

**mattack:** do it

**Sharpshooter:** done

 

_ 12:10 _

**Sharpshooter > tshirogane**

 

**Sharpshooter:** your boyfriend is being kinky in my dms

_ Sharpshooter sent an image _

 

_ 12:12 _

**Sharpshooter > mattack**

 

**Sharpshooter:** ive exposed you

**mattack:** praying her gets more upset

**Sharpshooter:** GOD DAMMIT

**mattack:** a-men

**Sharpshooter:** im blocking this convo out of my skull

**Sharpshooter:** also have you left yet

**mattack:** ive been getting dressed and im about to leave yeah so go to bed

**mattack:** ill let u know deets in the morning

**Sharpshooter:** thanks m8

**mattack:** issa d8

**Sharpshooter:** i h8

**mattack:** i rel8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI im going to my first con this november so i got really excited and pumped out a BUNCH of my matt cosplay (i have a staff yall.... the staff) 
> 
> SO BASICALLY IM SAYING I HAVENT WRITTEN
> 
> but thats okay because i have endless time and im hype for season 6 so im rearing to go go go


	69. shiro is a sleaze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a buncha NONSENSE

_ 1:35 _

**mattack > Sharpshooter**

 

**mattack:** anyway

**mattack:** keith is fine yall shiro just snatched it until the weekend

**mattack:** gucci

 

_ 1:41 _

**take me to church**

 

**mattress:** wanna hear a joke

**hunkindonuts:** you

**hunkindonuts:** goodnight

**mattress:** i gtg………………………………

**pidgerino:** skkdksdksdkfdkk

**balmerina:** good riddance the evil is defeated

**hunkindonuts:** pidge ghost wrote that

**pidgerino:** LFSAJFJJSJJSJKSKKKSKSKS

**tshiro:** go to bed

**hunkindonuts:** srry dad

 

_ 4:23 _

**Sharpshooter > keith.k**

 

**Sharpshooter:** i kno u dont have ur phon but

**Sharpshooter:** ilu goodnight  <3

**Sharpshooter:** make sure you eat breakfast in the morning

**Sharpshooter:** shiro make him eat breakfast if u read these

**Sharpshooter:** ill see you at school

**Sharpshooter:** CAUSE WE GRADUATE SOON BAY BEY

 

_ 4:31 _

**plunk**

 

**Furry:** BAYBEY WE GRADUATE SOON HUNK

**Snoot:** IM SO FREADY

**Furry:** fready

**Snoot:** freakin ready

**Furry:** so excited he skipping entire words

**Furry:** so excited he making new words outta two words

**Snoot:** compound words

**Furry:** ah yes

**Furry:** english

**Scoot:** i feel fucking betrayed

**Furry:** ur like an infant sorry

**Snoot:** rip pidge alone forever

**Scoot:** IM 2 YEARS BEHIND YOU THATS I T

**Furry:** 2 years where we live our dreams while youre trapped in prison

**Scoot:** lidsten here you mother fuck

 

_ 10:53 _

**take me to church**

 

**mattress:** yall wanna hear a

**mattress:** im just gonna tell it anyway

**mattress:** no this isnt the joke i dont remember it but i DID remember a high school story that i wanna tell about shiro and allura

**Allurable:** Matthew.

**mattress:** chill its when shiro and i were a thing

**Allurable:** Continue.

**mattress:** anyway

**mattress:** u remember that time where i was like deadass 6 ft away and u 2 were talking about how nerdy and cute i am

**Allurable:** I love this story?!

**mattress:** u were trying to get shiro to hit on me and he refused

**mattress:** so allura comes over to me, after ive heard that entire convo bc they werent discrete at all

**mattress:** and she goes “i think i need a map because your ass is out of this world”

and i fckigna? laughed at her lowkey bc she was joking

**mattress:** SHIRO WAS SO DISTRESSED THAT HE CAME OVER AND BLURTED “can i get in your pants”

**Sharpshooter:** wtfh fim in class sfjjafjs

**mattress:** no pickup line or anything and he was LOUD and people looked.

**mattress:** tldr all the kids thought he was talking to allura when he said that and it still saddens me

**balmerina:** and what brought this up?

**mattress:** oh im at work rn and my coworkers and i are having a bad pickup line contest. i lost. but my story won.

**Allurable:** I was asked about if I was going to date Shiro for weeks after that. It was the most annoying weeks of my life.

**Allurable:** I got so tired of it that I just yelled “Shiro is a SLEAZE” in the cafeteria and everybody heard it.

**mattress:** JWJAWJW HAT

**Allurable:** How did you two not find out?

 

_ mattress changed tshiro ‘s name to sleaze _

 

**balmerina:** someday shiro will kill you all

**balmerina:** and together we will triumph against you demons

**balmerina:** shiro hunk me and pidge because nobody would ever hurt her when it comes down to it

**Allurable:** I feel offended that you won’t take me with you.

**balmerina:** debatable upon shiros request

**Allurable:** Understandable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they graduate soon which means their summer is soon which means OUT OF SCHOOL ANTICS ONLY
> 
> get ready
> 
> also im fuckign dying and broke and sad excuse m


	70. no fun shiro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidgerino: yous a nasty mf

_ 1:24 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** shiro give keith his phone i wanna tell him i love him

**sleaze:** first of all

**sleaze:** why did you change my name to sleaze im trying to forget

**sleaze:** second of all

**sleaze:** ill show im say it here

**Sharpshooter:** omg shiro…….. thats embarrassing

**sleaze:** is it?

**Sharpshooter:** yeah….

**Sharpshooter:** can i text u?

**sleaze:** no get over yourself

**Sharpshooter:** shiro! omg…..

**LANCES bf:** lance i have my phone shiro gave it back earlier today

**Sharpshooter:** I LOVE YOU

**LANCES bf:** i cant believe i have to be here for you to say that

**Sharpshooter:** its silly if u might not even see it

**pidgerino:** brb collecting receipts of you being gross at keith while hes gone

**Sharpshooter:** PIDGE omg………..

**pidgerino:** yous a nasty mf

**sleaze:** language

**pidgerino:** english

**sleaze:** not what i meat but ill take it

**pidgerino:** you better, ya sleaze

**sleaze:** how do i

 

_ sleaze changed their name to tshirogane _

 

**Sharpshooter:** no fun shiro

**LANCES bf:** no fun shiro

**pidgerino:** no fun shiro

**Sharpshooter:** im making him a sign

**Sharpshooter:** gonna put it in the yard like a campaign sign

**tshirogane:** touch my yard and keith doesnt have a phone anymore

**Sharpshooter:** i wont have to touch ur yard

**pidgerino:** WHY DID YOU SAY THAT IDIOT

**tshirogane:** im watching out the window all day

**LANCES bf:** no fun shiro

 

_ 1:42 _

**keith.k > Sharpshooter**

 

**keith.k:** he works at 2

**Sharpshooter:** i love you

**keith.k:** thanks

**Sharpshooter:** no fun keith

**keith.k:** blocked

 

_ 1:43 _

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** its funny because shiro would treasure it if keith did it

**pidgerino:** but since its lance hes freaking out

**pidgerino:** if keith does anything shiro gets all soft and mushy

**pidgerino:** “THATS MY COUSIN!!! LOOK AT HIM GO!”

**tshirogane:** how do you know

**pidgerino:** youve been a family friend since i was, what, 8?

**tshirogane:** yeah

**pidgerino:** ive seen you toting keith to all his events and cheering him on better than some parents cheer for their actual children

**tshirogane:** is that wrong?

**pidgerino:** you ahve a box of all his middle school art work

**tshirogane:** is that wrong?

**pidgerino:** yeah

**tshirogane:** you think sam and colleen dont have stuff from you?

**pidgerino:** d…….. do they???

**tshirogane:** ask them not me

**LANCES bf:** wait you what

**tshirogane:** nothing relevant

**LANCES bf:** i…..

**Sharpshooter:** HUNKS MOMS KEEP EVERYTHING

**Sharpshooter:** @hunkindonuts tell em

**hunkindonuts:** EVERYTHING

**hunkindonuts:** AND ITS ALL AROUND MY HOUSE

**hunkindonuts:** every time shay comes over they switch it up so she can laugh at something else i finger painted

**pidgerino:** wait thats cute

**hunkindonuts:** shay laughs at my failures.

**pidgerino:** i lvoe you two so micuch

**Sharpshooter:** the most preciosu

**hunkindonuts:** STOP

**pidgerino:** new question

**pidgerino:** are any of you talking at graduation like do i need to go

**Sharpshooter:** are u telling me u arent going unless provided a reason

**pidgerino:** yeah

**tshirogane:** pidge is coming, ive already talked to sam and colleen about stealing her

**pidgerino:** WHAT

**tshirogane:** support your friends or they wont come to yours

**hunkindonuts:** dad pls

**tshirogane:** but are any of you talking? i know youre not vals but sometimes they break rules for certain kids

**Sharpshooter:** I TRIED i had a speech and everything and i was told no

**LANCES bf:** why

**Sharpshooter:** i may or may not have gotten really weird about it

**LANCES bf:** so you deserve to not speak

**Sharpshooter:** RUDE

**LANCES bf:** love u

**Sharpshooter:** i  love you too!!!  <3

**pidgerino:** BARF

**tshirogane:** i prefer hunk and shay

**pidgerino:** i love my iconic second dad who will be my step brother

**tshirogane:** who said i was gonna marry matt

**pidgerino:** OOF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey im sorry im dead
> 
> im mentally preparing for season 6 tho so its ok???
> 
> ANYWAY im gonna promo my rp discord here too so like if u wanna join all spots are open except shiro, pidge, and keith so like. let me know if youre interested. i can hook you up ;3


	71. coran raises hell pt 1/?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allurable: Coran created a monster.

_ 7:34 _

**take me to church**

 

**Allurable:** Help.

**balmerina:** !?!?! ALLURA?!?!

**Allurable:** Coran asked me about mine and Pidge’s prank we pulled.

**Allurable:** He wanted to invite the entire Holt family for supper in order to convince you guys better.

**balmerina:** we stan coran

**Allurable:** I don’t think you understand what’s going on.

**balmerina:** i think you dontt

**hunkindonuts:** shay.

**balmerina:** youve brought this up. now youre gonna HAVE to have the holts over. theyll just SHOW UP if you dont tell them now

**Allurable:** Shit.

**hunkindonuts:** allura.

**Allurable:** Hunk.

**Allurable:** Coran created a monster.

**Allurable:** 4 of them.

**hunkindonuts:** and you said it in the gc

**Allurable:** We are all at fault.

 

_ 8:11 _

 

**mattress:** owo dinner at alluras

**pidgerino:** owo

**mattress:** awwuwa pwease wet us eat

**pidgerino:** pwease uwu

**Sharpshooter:** yall monsters

**pidgerino:** get fucked

**Sharpshooter:** MATT

**mattress:** get fucked

**tshirogane:** matt

**mattress:** get me fucked

**pidgerino:** Matt

**mattress:** unu

**Allurable:** This is why I am hesitant to ask.

 

_ 8:16 _

**tshirogane > Allurable**

 

**tshirogane:** would you rather talk to sam or colleen

**Allurable:** Yes please.

**tshirogane:** here’s their home phone, those two never answer it

 

_ 8:43 _

 

**mattress:** YO SHE ACTUALLY INVITED US IM STOKED

**pidgerino:** im shook allura u queen ilu

**Allurable:** You’re welcome, you two.

**Allurable:** It’s the least I can do provided I pretending to be in a relationship with your parent’s daughter just to mess with Shiro and co

**pidgerino:** but mostly shiro

**Allurable:** Mostly Shiro.

**mattress:** just shiro dont lie

**Allurable:** You’re right.

**Allurable:** Just no fun Shiro.

**pidgerino:** skskfksdkfskskksksksfkkfsks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im working on resolving plot holes I SWEAR but this comes first. coran is important to me ok? ok
> 
> also soft update if u were curious on the discord. the only "main character" opening left is matt and lotor but idk becuase i might switch over to matt because im too meme to be a true dad (tm) but if u really wanna be part lmk and we can talk ;)


	72. its time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LANCES bf: im coming in shiro!!! PUT YOUR PANTS ON!!!!!!

_ 5:32 _

**take me to church**

 

**mattress:** allura queen my dad wants to know when we should come over

**Sharpshooter:** ITS TODAY

**mattress:** yeah?????

**Allurable:** Around 6:30 if you don’t mind! Coran is still being a neat freak, and my father is panicking about recipes. It’s chaotic.

**mattress:** consider it done gorgeous

**Allurable:** Okay.

**Sharpshooter:** fjjsdjsf “okay” I LOVE HER

**Allurable:** Okay.

**mattress:** fjjsdjsf “okay” I LOVE HER

**Sharpshooter:** the audacity

**Sharpshooter:** i am

**Sharpshooter:** disgusted

**mattress:** desgusteng

 

_ 5:51 _

**plunk**

 

**Scoot:** excuse me

**Scoot:** proposal for the colony

**Snoot:** colony

**Furry:** clan?

**Scoot:** colony

**Scoot:** anyway

**Scoot:** shut up i have an idea

**Scoot:** tonight

**Scoot:** sleep over

**Snoot:** not tonight sorry its garret movie night

**Snoot:** my moms will go nuts if i invite people over. its our thing. tonight its disney also sooooooooooo no

**Scoot:** understandable

**Scoot:** TOMORROW night

**Furry:** pidge

**Scoot:** OKAY TOMORROW NIGHT FUCK YOU LANCE

**Scoot:** SLEEP OVER

**Scoot:** DND???? OR A SORT OF RP GAME

**Scoot:** and one more thing

**Furry:** dont say it

**Snoot:** SAY IT

**Scoot:** bring ur yugioh cards

**Snoot:** FINALLY

**Scoot:** my house. matt can be dm

**Furry:** i cannot believe this nerdery

**Scoot:** trust me. its lit. matt is a bitch but hes funny idk

**Furry:** are you telling me you play dnd with ur family

**Scoot:** uh? YEAH? my mom and dad have been playing it since they MET

**Snoot:** thats cute i love colleen and sam  <3

**Scoot:** thanks

 

_ 6:11 _

**take me to church**

 

**tshirogane:** my boyfriend dines with my ex

**Allurable:** Give it up, Shiro; we are friends.

**tshirogane:** I GAVE IT UP

**LANCES bf:** give what up

**LANCES bf:** shiro what

**tshirogane:** ill tell you when youre older! :)

**Allurable:** I cannot believe your dynamics.

**LANCES bf:** im coming in shiro!!! PUT YOUR PANTS ON!!!!!!

**tshirogane:** IVE HAD MY PANTS ON DONT GIVE THEM IDEAS

**LANCES bf:** cant say i didnt try

**pidgerino:** bye shiro it was nice knowing you

 

_ 6:36 _

**keith.k > tshirogane**

 

**keith.k:** hey whats up with the tiny and ominous box that says

**keith.k:** “give this to keith before he leaves”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh no
> 
> shiro what are you hiding from keith???? shiro... tell him Now.
> 
> also where is keith going????
> 
> youll see ;)


	73. a tiny ominous box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little brogane moment as i begin to unfold something mildly considered a plot

_ 6:41 _

**tshirogane > keith.k**

 

**tshirogane:** keith 

**keith.k:** shiro

**tshirogane:** bring me the box

**keith.k:** whats in it

**tshirogane:** were about to go over that

**keith.k:** are you doing this now so you dont forget when i go to school in the fall

**tshirogane:** irrelevant

**keith.k:** amazing shiro truly

**tshirogane:** just get out here

 

The cautious way the Keith held the box out to Shiro showed a thousand more emotions than his face. Shiro offered him a sympathetic smile to ease him, but it didn’t seem to work because Keith only sighed shakily. “Sit tight. I have to make a call.” And with that, Shiro stood up and went outside, taking the box with him.

“Really!?” Keith groaned and flopped onto the couch, throwing his hands in the air. He was nervous, and then Shiro ruined the moment and went to make a  _ phone call? _ What the hell. Keith should’ve just opened the box himself.

More importantly… how had he never noticed it before? It was tiny, sure, no bigger than a deodorant stick, but had it always been on Shiro’s bedside table? There was no way. With all the snooping Keith did when he was younger, that box MUST have appeared fairly recently.

Before he had a chance to ponder coming across it during escapades, Shiro re-entered the house and sat back down. “The phone call is relevant to the box, by the way. Don’t think I’m just being an asshole.” He smiled and put said box onto the coffee table.

“What’s in it?”

“Nothing much. It’s more about who than what.” Shiro shrugged, leaving Keith in wonder.  _ What do you mean  _ who _? This isn’t a time for riddles, Shiro. _ “Anyway,” he startled Keith from thought, “You hungry?” Again, the older Brogane stood up and proceeded to the kitchen, leaving the box on the table. He was clearly giving Keith a chance to look in the box. It was like he trusted that Keith  _ wouldn’t _ look inside.

It did stop Keith for a minute. He just sat on the sofa and stared at the box. “Yeah…” was all he could answer.

“I have taco meat out if you can manage. It’ll never match a McClain supper, but I can do my best!” Knowing well aware Keith hadn’t moved, he yelled instead just to make sure it cut through whatever the teen was considering.

A shaking hand reached toward the box, and then it jerked back. Would it be breaking Shiro’s trust if he looked?

No.

He would’ve taken it if he didn’t want Keith to look. He deliberately set the box down and left it there. Keith was entitled to look inside.

Not to mention the fact his  _ name _ was on it.

He shook his head at whatever doubts that floated through, and grabbed the box. He was still subtle. Whether Keith was conscious of it or not, he moved with careful and quiet motions as if he was sneaking around again. The lid of the tiny box came off with a bit of friction getting in the way, but it did slide off. It was a phone box, he realized.

Inside there was a sequence of numbers which Keith pieces together to be a phone number (based on the parentheses and hyphen). Under the sequence was one word. ‘Mom’.

As if Shiro just appeared behind him to yell, Keith snapped the box shut again.  _ What the Hell?? _

Before Shiro  _ could _ walk in, he set the box gently back where it was and whipped out his phone.

 

_ 7:04 _

**keith.k > Sharpshooter**

  
**keith.k:** shiro has a box with my name on it and inside is a phone number ththat is connected to ‘Mom’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SKDFKKFSJFDSLS OH SHIT YALL ITS LIT 
> 
> im overflowing with season 6 so i have written absolutely NOTHIGN except this.
> 
> enjoy u memes ilu say it back <3


	74. a stressful supper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharpshooter: should i be scared

_ 6:52 _

**take me to church**

 

**balmerina:** how is the supper going

**hunkindonuts:** i almost wish pidge was live texting

**pidgerino:** do you want me to

**hunkindonuts:** please

**pidgerino:** OKAY well in the first 5 minutes.

**pidgerino:** coran entered the room and said “good evening family. welcome to the abode” to which MATT REPLIED “a humble bungalow”

**pidgerino:** IN THE SAME 5 MINUTES

**pidgerino:** coran used the word snaffoo three times

**pidgerino:** my dad almost fell down the stairs

**pidgerino:** and alluras dad has switched ties 4 times

**pidgerino:** he thinks we havent noticed but we have

**balmerina:** snaffoo

**Sharpshooter:** invite coran to the gc pidge

**pidgerino:** if he has a phone i will

**Sharpshooter:** #DontTellAllura

**hunkindonuts:** #SheWillKillUsAll

**Sharpshooter:** #QUEEN

**pidgerino:** also allura and i are getting asked a lot fo questions

**pidgerino:** “have you two considered actually dating?” matt spit his juice onto the table at that one

**pidgerino:** mom: so after this prank, have you learned anything about your friends?

**pidgerino:** matt: that shiro cant handle other peoples happiness?

**pidgerino:** mom: the question was for the girls, matthew

**Sharpshooter:** GEE matt stop interrupting them

**Sharpshooter:** smh

**hunkindonuts:** what about sam

**pidgerino:** sam and alfor are bonding together. hence why he almost fell down the stairs. theyre following each other. they might be best friends? cant tell from lack of observing time

**Sharpshooter:** friendship braceletes please

**balmerina:** braceletes

**Sharpshooter:** cant spell too focused on samfor

**pidgerino:** if you ship our dads i will mince you

**Sharpshooter:** brotp

**balmerina:** shell mince you

**Sharpshooter:** friendship

 

_ 7:11 _

**pidgerino > Sharpshooter**

 

**pidgerino:** ill mince you dont test me

**pidgerino:** i watch how to get away with murder

**pidgerino:** and i take notes while watching

**Sharpshooter:** WHY ARE YOU SO CREEPY JFC DONT TAINT KEITH PLEASE

**pidgerino:** too late

**Sharpshooter:** should i be scared

**pidgerino:** not unless you piss him off

**Sharpshooter:** great! always cater to keith. got it.

**pidgerino:** atta boy lancey lance

**Sharpshooter:** ;)

**pidgerino:** MINCE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO YALL LIKE HOW I LEAVE YOU HANGING ;D
> 
> youre welcome im sorry nyahahah
> 
> ITLL COME BACK UP but ive been excited imagining this and here it is


	75. lance freaking out tm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidge ignites another hardy holt wager

_ 7:12 _

**Sharpshooter > keith.k**

 

**Sharpshooter:** WHOSE MOM

**keith.k:** look if i knew id tell you lance

**Sharpshooter:** wtf shiro is a local cryptid rn why dont you ask him

**keith.k:** i dont exactly know if i was supposed to look in the box

**Sharpshooter:** oh?

**keith.k:** listen. i found the box and shiro was like “lol have a seat” and then he GOT BACK UP

**keith.k:** to make a phone call

**keith.k:** and now hes making dinner

**Sharpshooter:** and the box had a phone number right

**keith.k:** yeah

**Sharpshooter:** wait for it…………

**keith.k:** oh my god.

**Sharpshooter:** bingo!

**keith.k:** IM GONNA HAVE TO MEET THIS PERSON????

**keith.k:** yo if its a killer im prepared its all good

**Sharpshooter:** i dont think? that shiro would call if it was a killer BUT tell me how it goes 

**keith.k:** im gonna beat shiros ass

**Sharpshooter:** ur bringing a knife to a gun fight

**keith.k:** shiro doesnt have a

**keith.k:** a

**keith.k:** Stop making jokes about shiros arms its weird when hes my cousin and youre my boyfriend

**Sharpshooter:** ;)

 

_ 7:22 _

**plunk**

 

**Furry:** hey so um keith is freaking me out

**Snoot:** explain

**Furry:** shiro and him are having a serious moment and keith has no idea whats going on

**Furry:** it involves a mom??????

**Furry:** our theory

**Snoot:** whose mom

**Furry:** yet to be sure

**Furry:** popular suspicion says shiros

**Furry:** because hes never met shiros parents

**Snoot:** what about keiths mom

**Furry:** his parents are dead

**Snoot:** o

**Furry:** its why he lives with shiro in the first place and Not In Texas™

**Snoot:** REASONABLE amen

**Furry:** yeah ikr

**Snoot:** so theory says keith is about to meet his aunt™

**Furry:** thats what keith thinks yeah

**Snoot:** i mean thats not a bad thing

**Scoot:** if its shiros mom why doesnt he see her more often

**Scoot:** most kids see their moms a lot. especially somebody like shiro.

**Furry:** explain

**Scoot:** looks like a total mommas boy

**Snoot:** TRUE OH NO

**Furry:** JFDLKFDJL WHOSE MOM IS IT THEN

**Scoot:** Keiths.

**Furry:** but

**Scoot:** when keith texts u saying he met his mom you will give me 10$

**Furry:** and if its shiros mom you will give me 20$

**Snoot:** im siding with pidge but you dont have to pay me

**Furry:** im hurt

**Scoot:** ayyy lmao

**Furry:** pls no

**Snoot:** alien emoji here

**Furry:** HUNK NO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IVE BEEN PREPARING FOR MY GRAD PARTY so i havent written. i wrote this in about 20 minutes.
> 
> im gonna have the kids graduate in the next chapter!!!! so be ready for a lot of graduation stuff relating to klunk!!!
> 
> GUYS IM CRYING BECAUSE I CANT WRITE SPICY STUFF BUT I HAVE A REAL NICE SHATT AU BASED OFF OF THIS FRIENDS EP IM WATCHING JFJDJFJJ im crying omsebody please


	76. GRADUATION GAY?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> allura is a MOM FRIEND

_ 10:41 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** do you guys know what today is

**pidgerino:** first steps into hell!

**Sharpshooter:** Yes!!

**pidgerino:** amazing

**hunkindonuts:** im honestly scared

**LANCES bf:** im ready to leave

**tshirogane:** would you kids get off your phones the ceremony starts in almost an hour and you all have to line up. talk to your classmates for the last time will ya

**Allurable:** Shiro get off your phone or I WILL take it.

**Allurable:** You told me you only wanted to take pictures and videos because of your battery life. Stop texting.

**Sharpshooter:** dam she cracc down

**hunkindonuts:** are matt and pidge there too

**pidgerino:** were all sitting together.

**pidgerino:** but wheres shay

**hunkindonuts:** SHAY IS HERE she broke her phone lol

**Sharpshooter:** WE LOVE SHAY

**hunkindonuts:** yes we do. shes in her spot tho so we cant tell her until later

**Allurable:** Off phones. All of you. I already confiscated Matt and Shiro’s. I will come get yours. I don’t care if you’re graduating today.

**pidgerino:** oof mom pls

**Allurable:** You’re next.

**LANCES bf:** RIPPPPPPPPPPP

**Allurable:** Keith.

**LANCES bf:** LANCE TOOK MY PHONE I DONT SAY RIP

**Allurable:** Both of you.

 

_ 4:15 _

_ Sharpshooter added hunkindonuts, keith.k to  _ **_GRADUATE SLUTS_ **

 

**Sharpshooter:** why is that so long

**Sharpshooter:** also where are ALL OF YOU

**Sharpshooter:** i already booted my family. im supposed to meet them for supper at 5 so you have to go fast

**hunkindonuts:** IM BY THE CROOKED COLUMN

**hunkindonuts:** i also have to meet my moms and shays family for a group supper at 5:30. were riding together so you better catch us quick

**keith.k:** im with shiro

**keith.k:** our reservation is at 4:45

**Sharpshooter:** go fast

**keith.k:** he said we have to go.

**Sharpshooter:** you

**keith.k:** its a 20 minute drive and we need to be there a little early

**hunkindonuts:** HEY THATS OKAY

**hunkindonuts:** keith can you ask shiro i we can all meet at casa el brogane tonight? we can all hang out then instead of worry about finding each other in 400 kids!

**keith.k:** yeah

**Sharpshooter:** hunk i see u and shay im coming

**keith.k:** shiro said be there around 8

**hunkindonuts:** cool!

**Sharpshooter:** have fun with shiro keith  <3

**keith.k:** thanks

**keith.k:** i will

 

_ 4:23 _

  
**keith.k:** <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that was gay but okay
> 
>  
> 
> ALSO yall im lit up im ignited im so pumped for upcoming chapters because theres so much i can brainstorm and be inspired by
> 
> lets GO


	77. living the dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hunkindonuts: no horny on main please

_ 7:43 _

**take me to church**

 

**tshirogane:** so are you all coming over or are there exclusions?

**hunkindonuts:** i think well all be there?

**Allurable:** I will be, and I’ve been with the Holts all day, so they will, too.

**tshirogane:** great

**tshirogane:** not in a sarcastic way

**tshirogane:** anyway just feel free to show up when you get here, no need to knock, Keith is there, I’m getting snacks since you all eat like animals

**hunkindonuts:** IM ALSO BRINGING BROWNIES dont get sweet stuff. my moms want these things GONE STAT

**tshirogane:** got it. chips, dip, and drinks it is

**pidgerino:** can u also get ice cream

**pidgerino:** matt is requesting a gallon on vanilla and then toppings. chocolate syrup and caramel specifically.

**tshirogane:** make him beg for it

**pidgerino:** got it my camera is out ill send a video in a bit

 

_ pidgerino sent 1 video _

 

**tshirogane:** thank you. tell him i got it.

**hunkindonuts:** no horny on main please

**hunkindonuts:** not on graduation night please

 

_ 8:04 _

 

**Allurable:** We’ll be there in a few minutes, boys! We had to stop for gas really quick.

**tshirogane:** sounds good. lance hunk and shay are already here so just come right on in

 

_ 12:32 _

 

**mattress:** oh hey hey um. i know that like. some of yall are sleeping so im here but yall

**mattress:** yall

**mattress:** i got a new job

**tshirogane:** AND YOU DIDNT CALL

**mattress:** well. yeah. i mean. no. i wanted to tell everybody at once  <3

**tshirogane:** well??? what is it

**mattress:** like its a 30 min drive every day but guess who works at the planetarium now ;))))

**tshirogane:** matt oh my god

**mattress:** shiro oh my god

**tshirogane:** thats. awesome.

**Sharpshooter:** YOU WORK AT THE

**mattress:** I JSUT SAID

**Sharpshooter:** whole squad is gonna come over and ruin ur day matt omfg im dming hunk and pidge rn

 

_ 12:41 _

**plunk**

 

**Furry:** WHEN U BOTH WAKE UP WERE GONNA RUIN MATTS CHANCE AT A JOB AND GO TO THE PLANETARIUM AND FUCK SHIT UP

**Furry:** ILL INFORM KEITH AS WELL

 

_ 12:43 _

**Sharpshooter > keith.k**

 

**Sharpshooter:** BABE WERE GOING TO THE PLANETARIUM WITH HUNK AND PIDGE IDK WHEN BUT SOON

 

_ 12:45 _

 

**mattress:** so um i might not be at the planetarium for long BUT I AM THERE NOW

**mattress:** thanks lance

**Sharpshooter:** yw matt

**tshirogane:** please let him have at least a week lance

**tshirogane:** matts embarrassed to say this but hes wanted a job there since like. middle school.

**mattress:** SHIRO

**tshirogane:** its true?

**mattress:** youve wanted to work there too……

**tshirogane:** yeah but now that youre working there i think im content with getting a real job instead of in retail

**tshirogane:** someday

**mattress:** or ur just mad that i work at the planetarium and you dont

**tshirogane:** no im glad you work there

 

_ 12:52 _

**mattack > tshirogane**

 

**mattack:** were gonna fuck in the planetarium arent we

**tshirogane:** yup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i mean. im not asking for it to happen. but if anybody /wants/ to write shatt messing around in the planetarium BE MY FUCKEN GUEST ill thrive.
> 
> also that whole idea is based off of ross and rachels lil museum escapade.
> 
> ALSO is write the smut but i dont know how to write gay porn or porn in general. the idea scares me. because im as pure mary herself.  
> but hey. again. be my guest.
> 
> ANYWAY LMFAO A WHOLE BUNCH OF ANTICS ARE COMING. GRAD PARTIES. PLANETARIUM DESTRUCTION. ITS COMING. HOLD ONTO UR HATS ;3


	78. does keith is gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidgerino: i heard sexual moaning and it woke me up

_ 2:21 _

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** hey shiro and matt and lance why are you watching friends at 2 am

**Sharpshooter:** UGH LET US WATCH IT GO BACK TO BED

**pidgerino:** i heard sexual moaning and it woke me up

**Sharpshooter:** we dont have a splitter sorry

**pidgerino:** GO SOMEWHERE ELSE THIS IS A HOUSE NOT A ROOM

**Sharpshooter:** after this ep

**pidgerino:** how far are you into this ep?

**Sharpshooter:** 4 minutes

**pidgerino:** LEAVE

 

_ 9:32 _

 

**Allurable:** Can I just say that, as a friend, that is the absolute most gay thing I have ever seen anybody in this chat do?

**mattress:** fjfjkldfljfsdkjlfds dont be a hater allura

**Allurable:** I’m not.

**Allurable:** I’m just saying that three grown, adult men watching Friends at 2 in the morning during a sleep over is a very… interesting… activity.

**mattress:** this is homophobia

**Allurable:** Impossible.

**mattress:** explain

**Allurable:** all three of you are bisexual

**mattress:** EXACTLY ITS BIPHOBIA

**Sharpshooter:** IM SICK OF BEING TREATED LIKE SHIT BY THE LBGT COMMUNITY THIS IS BIPHOBIA ALLURA

**Allurable:** Alas, you seem to forget that I, too, am bisexual.

**Sharpshooter:** w

**Sharpshooter:** wait what

**mattress:** did allura jwsut come out

**pidgerino:** to you guys yeah

**pidgerino:** shay and i have known since our mall trip ;3

**Allurable:** I forgot about that!

**pidgerino:** that girl was hella cute im still mad you didnt hit her up

**Allurable:** It happens when half of you hair is stuck in a brush.

**pidgerino:** tru tru

**Sharpshooter:** wtf omfg

**pidgerino:** yeah we didnt invite u for a reason

**tshirogane:** its almost. funny. that were ALL bi.

**tshirogane:** is anybody in the group ACTUALLY GAY OR STRIAGHT

**hunkindonuts:** hey

**tshirogane:** hey what

**hunkindonuts:** s

**tshirogane:** are you gay or straight

**hunkindonuts:** WELL I MEAN YOU GOT ME SHAY, MY GIRLFRIEND, IS JUST A HUGE COVERUP FOR MY RAGING HOMOSEXUALITY SHIRO

**tshirogane:** if orgot

**Allurable:** is keith gay?

**LANCES bf:** yes. you could just here. you couldve just asked me

**Allurable:** I know but we didn’t.

**LANCES bf:** WELL i am so

**Allurable:** what about shay?

**hunkindonuts:** shay said shes staight too srry allura u cant take her from me

**Allurable:** That’s okay. You two are adorable.

**Sharpshooter:** ARE NONE OF US PAN

**tshirogane:** its almost weird.

**Sharpshooter:** i mean. im kind of pan btu also kind of not? i dont know

**Sharpshooter:** NOW THAT U BRING IT UP i might be pan tbh

**Sharpshooter:** its up for debate

**mattress:** well lance

**mattress:** i tell ya what

**mattress:** absofuckinglutely nobody is going to debate your sexuality with you because its a waste of time!

**Sharpshooter:** THANKS MATT

**mattress:** listen to me bitch

**Sharpshooter:** matt ur scaring me

**mattress:** if you wanna be pan YOU BE PAN

**mattress:** if you wanna be bi YOU BE BI

**mattress:** frankly

**mattress:** nobody in this group cares whether you are bi or pan so long as you are HAPPY LANCE

**Sharpshooter:** IM HAPPY MATT

**mattress:** IM HAPPY YOURE HAPPY LANCE

**Sharpshooter:** ME TOO

**hunkindonuts:** friendship is incredible and im so thankful that this is what we have

**Allurable:** I couldn’t have said it better myself.

**pidgerino:** c c c c combo breaker

 

_ mattress has removed pidgerino from the chat _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pidge spouts old memes and gets kicked from the sacred group chat. matt might be killed but its okay.


	79. i dont know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mattress: OVER EASY MAC

_ 11:32 _

**pidgerino > mattack**

 

**pidgerino:** add me back you stupid mother fucker

**mattack:** you made the worst joke ive ever seen

**pidgerino:** please

**mattack:** reason

**pidgerino:** make fun of keith

 

_ 11:35 _

**take me to church**

 

_ mattress has added pidgerino to the chat _

 

**pidgerino:** matt drank old milk in front of mom and dad shirtless while screaming what doesnt kill me makes me stronger

**pidgerino:** and then was sick for an entire day

**mattress:** U WERENT SUPPOSED TO TELL THAT STORY NOW SHIRO KNOWS THE REASON

**tshirogane:** you drank Spoiled Milk

**tshirogane:** you told me you had nausea from being your unhealthy self

**Sharpshooter:** how unhealthy do you think matt is

**tshirogane:** WELL HE DRANK SPOILED MILK

**Sharpshooter:** no actually like whats wrong with him

**mattress:** thx for asking me

**mattress:** i have asthma and sometimes i get rlly sick but its fine pidge is the same way were nerds what can you do

**pidgerino:** tru. its kinda sad. all 4 holts have fucken asthma.

**Sharpshooter:** a truly united family

**tshirogane:** i used to chase him and i knew he could only go so far without stopping

**mattress:** through the dorm halls.

**mattress:** and getting my parents called

**mattress:** OVER EASY MAC

**mattress:** WAS NOT FUN SHIRO

**tshirogane:** that was not that bad

**mattress:** shiro pls……….. you chase me everywhere and it hurts

**tshirogane:** im sorry

**Allurable:** One time in high school after a competition, I watched Shiro chase Matt around the school at 1 in the morning because Matt wanted to repay him the 4$ Shiro used to buy him concession stand dinner

**Allurable:** They truly are dorks.

**Sharpshooter:** A BUNCHA GAYS IS WHAT THEY ARE OMG

**tshirogane:** you remember that

**Allurable:** I do.

**tshirogane:** why

**Allurable:** Because he screamed at you “SHIRO I DONT WANT MY MONEY BACK” like a 6 year old child.

**Sharpshooter:** A TRULY UNITED FAMILY

**mattress:** were not.

**Sharpshooter:** yet

**tshirogane:** what do you mean yet

 

_ 12:08 _

**Allurable > tshirogane**

 

**Allurable:** marry him shiro

**tshirogane:** allura its barely been any time we cant just

**Allurable:** total time

**tshirogane:** what

**Allurable:** out of every time youve dated how long has it been

**tshirogane:** i dont know

**tshirogane:** about a year and a half?

**Allurable:** how long do you need?

**tshirogane:** i dont know

**Allurable:** do you want to marry him

**Allurable:** shiro?

**tshirogane:** i dont know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof its a bit short but we have shatt development hours happening??


	80. lances day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidgerino: boner

_ 3:58 _

**tshirogane > Allurable**

 

**tshirogane:** yes

 

_ 6:35 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** I AM A GRADUEE AND IM AWAKE BEFORE 12 IM PISSED

**Sharpshooter:** then again tho i mean what can u do when its ur grad party ;)

**Sharpshooter:** i trust yall got the invites and my sexy senior pics are on ur fridge especially keith and shiro ;)

**Sharpshooter:** remember it starts at 1 so dont b late and also stay late bc theres a treat for you guys if you stayyyyyy ;)

 

_ 7:21 _

 

**hunkindonuts:** lance if you wink one more time im not coming

**hunkindonuts:** and i will not let pidge go either

**Sharpshooter:** what

**hunkindonuts:** sleepover yknow nbd

**Sharpshooter:** PLUNK THO

**pidgerino:** punk tho

**pidgerino:** also are we ignoring that shiro and my bro are avoiding their marriage

**Sharpshooter:** today is my day fuck u matt and shiro

**tshirogane:** keith suddenly cant go to your graduation party lance

**Sharpshooter:** NO

**tshirogane:** im kidding

 

_ 9:12 _

 

**Sharpshooter:** im scare

**Allurable:** Stop. WE get it. WE’RE COMING.

**Allurable:** Stop.

 

_ 11:44 _

 

**LANCES bf:** lance call me one more time about ur relatives and i will beat you with a brick its not even noon

**Sharpshooter:** BABE DM ME THIS STUFF AJFKDLJFD 

**LANCES bf:** you deserve this going in the group chat

 

_ 12:51 _

 

**tshirogane:** me, keith, matt, pidge and hunk are all on our way lance

**LANCES bf:** its so squished please help me lance

**pidgerino:** YOURE NOT IN THE MIDDLE STFU EMO SHITHEAD

**hunkindonuts:** its pronounced SHI-THEAD

**tshirogane:** im pulling over we might be late

**pidgerino:** he just reached back and smacked us all on the knee caps lfmdslfjs

**tshirogane:** IM NICE OKAY

**Allurable:** Losers.

**Allurable:** I’m already here.

**hunkindonuts:** i feel like i was blessed with a curse just now?

**Sharpshooter:** WAIT HOLD ON GUYS WHERES SHAY

**hunkindonuts:** OH SHOOT i forgot she doesnt have a cell phone uh yeah

**hunkindonuts:** her graduation gift from her family was a trip back to her hometown near nairobi

**Sharpshooter:** WHAT

**hunkindonuts:** yeah shes in kenya until like end of june srry i forgot to tell you all

**hunkindonuts:** shes sending love and bringing back touristy souvenirs for us all though!!

**Sharpshooter:** I LVOE SHAY  <3

**pidgerino:** ive never felt more related to lances emotional stability thhen now

 

_ 5:38 _

 

**Sharpshooter:** CAN I OPEN YALLS PRESENTS NOW BLS URE ALL HERE IM NEEDY

**LANCES bf:** yes oh my god we told you that 30 minutes ago

**Sharpshooter:** i wanna make sure u hear me sweetcheeks

**LANCES bf:** k

 

_ 7:25 _

 

**pidgerino:** ok ok how do you guys have a system wtf???

**Allurable:** Shiro and Matt established it.

**Allurable:** Shiro always gets a practical gift that you will use in your near future (ie, shelves, a fan, etc) and Keith slaps his name on the card.

**Allurable:** Matt (and Pidge) always provide a completely outlandish and somehow quite amazing gift. You will never know what it is until they physically explain it to you.

**Allurable:** I give a sweet and endearing gift, one that lets you reminisce on your life so far (a photo album, usually. It’s easiest.)

**Allurable:** Hunk, as per his signature style, provides any sort of kitchen material albeit food or utensils depending on the person.

**Allurable:** We have yet to see what Lance’s and Shay’s gifts are like. 

**Allurable:** But that’s the system.

**Allurable:** As more of us graduate, there’s a much more open lineup of gifts to get. Pidge is getting the best turnout, really.

**pidgerino:** boner

**Allurable:** I revoke my graduation present to Pidge immediately.

**pidgerino:** blue balls

**tshirogane:** matt and i were the worst. it was just 2 friend gifts.

**tshirogane:** you guys get a pile of presents and we got.

**tshirogane:** what did i even get i dont know

**mattress:** OH WE GOT YOU A 

**mattress:** a

**mattress:** huh.

**Sharpshooter:** what a romance wow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHIRO,, MY GUY,.....
> 
> anyway today i accidentally smashed super like on tinder so to cope i finished this chapter here it is!!
> 
> i might write grad party shenanigans as separate lil one shot things if they are in high demand *thinking emoji*
> 
> ALSO SHAY WILL BE COMING BACK BUT I WANT TO GIVE HER MORE OF A BIO SO shes in kenya because she deserves a nationality and history just like everybody else ok. shell be back in a couple of chapters is wear


	81. a whole lotta pidge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> see the title

_ 1:37 _

**pidgerino > mattack**

 

**pidgerino:** so dear brother

**mattack:** thats never good

**pidgerino:** when r u proposing to shiro

**mattack:** im not??

**pidgerino:** WTF WHY

**mattack:** WE DONT EVN LIVE TOGETHER I LIVE WITH MY PARENTS PIDGE

**pidgerino:** move in

**pidgerino:** i think hed let you if you him and keith had a sit down tbh

**pidgerino:** and keith is going to college anyway right?

**mattack:** in the fall i think he is? undeclared if anything as far as i know

**pidgerino:** where is even going

**mattack:** i think hunk keith and lance are all going where shiro and i went

**pidgerino:** they really all got in?

**mattack:** we really doubt their intelligence levels dont we wow

**pidgerino:** lets not tell them we think theyre all morons smh

**mattack:** but yeah i mean MAYBE? id have to talk to him about it yknow

**pidgerino:** if ur boyfriend doesnt let u move in i demand u break up with him unless i validate his reason

**mattack:** okay

 

_ 3:45 _

 

**pidgerino:** did you talk to him

**mattack:** nope

**pidgerino:** youre not gonna are you

**mattack:** nope

 

_ 3:49 _

**plunk**

 

**Scoot:** I HATE MY BROTHER HGHHFDGN

**Scoot:** I SOFTLY DEMANDED HE AND SHIRO MOVE IN TOGETHER AND HES TOO MUCH OF A WIMP TO ASK SHIRO ABOUT IT

**Scoot:** i want him out of the house so i can raid his room and snoop again this is bullshit

**Scoot:** as if shiro would say no

**Scoot:** theyre already attached at the hip

**Scoot:** they have enough ‘sleepovers’ to where they spend half the week together anyway

**Scoot:** saves gas and time tbh

**Scoot:** boys are dumb im glad im gay

**Scoot:** and by gay i mean

**Scoot:** anti gay really

**Scoot:** anti gay sounds wrong but you know what it is

**Scoot:** anti

**Scoot:** sex

**Scoot:** im making it weird goodnight boys

**Scoot:** dream about world domination  <3

 

_ 10:52 _

 

**Snoot:** pidge were both going to kill you for waking us up that early

**Scoot:** explain

**Snoot:** lance and i had our phones blaring FOREVER

**Scoot:** i was in need of help and u ignore me?

**Scoot:** im blocking lance

**Furry:** WHY JUST ME

**Scoot:** punk rocks

**Furry:** jfjjaj bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pidges opinion on her brothers relationship status is bsically this: annoyedd as hell
> 
> yall know bleach? and their constant filler eps? yeah. this is one of those things.
> 
> im sorry
> 
> EDIT: I HAD NO INSPIRATION TO WRITE FJDJFJSD IM SORRY  
> AND IM OUT OF TOWN UNTIL SUNDAY AFTERNOON SO ILL DO MY BEST TO PROVIDE AN UPDATE OR TWO NEXT WEEK!!!!   
> i love you all take care of yourselves


	82. something blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allurable: WAIT!!!!!!
> 
> Sharpshooter: DO I HEAR WEDDING BELLS?!??!?

_ 12:34 _

**take me to church**

 

**hunkindonuts:** now. i dont mean to tire you all out

**hunkindonuts:** but today is MY graduation party at my house please come

**hunkindonuts:** it starts at 2

**Allurable:** Of course, Hunk.

**Allurable:** I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

**pidgerino:** its hunk who would do that tohim lbr

**pidgerino:** even if u hated him ud go for the food

**hunkindonuts:** i hope you guys dont hate me.

**pidgerino:** we dont we lov u hunk

 

_ 1:05 _

 

**LANCES bf:** ok uh lance and i are coming early and lance wants me to say “the party will start when i walk in” as in lance i not me i

**Allurable:** I think we all understood, Keith.

**Allurable:** I’ll also be a few minutes early just so I can take my claim on fresh food.

**pidgerino:** thats why ur going wow allura

**Allurable:** I am going for Hunk.

**pidgerino:** sure thing sister

**Allurable:** Don’t act like you didn’t just claim that even if you dislike Hunk, you go for the food. I will copy paste your text.

**Allurable:** And don’t delete it, I have it copied and screenshot already.

**LANCES bf:** lance wants me to tell you hes quaking

 

_ 2:28 _

 

**pidgerino:** I HATE TO BE THE ONE CALLING THEM OUT BUT WHERE THE HELL ARE MATT AND SHIRO KSAKKFJD ALLURA HAD TO PICK ME UP AND SHE WAS “late” BECAUSE OF IT

**Sharpshooter:** WHY WOULD WE KNOW

**LANCES bf:** i was told to go to lances house i think we know

**pidgerino:** im gonna stop u right there buddy

 

_ 2:30 _

**pidgerino > mattack**

 

**pidgerino:** wtf

**mattack:** what

**pidgerino:** hunks party???

**mattack:** well be there. we had to talk about stuff

**pidgerino:** “talk”

**mattack:** u callin me a liar?

**pidgerino:** I AINT CALLIN U A TRUTHER

**mattack:** i love u pidge

**mattack:** no but rlly we werent doing weird stuff we were actually talking about that think

**pidgerino:** omfg actually????

**mattack:** thats why we kicked keith out

**mattack:** sometimes u just gotta be able to talk to ur boyfriend alone yknow?

**pidgerino:** nah i feel ill tell hunk. eta?

**mattack:** before 3 for sure

**mattack:** were doing blueprints and then well be over

**pidgerino:** nice

 

_ 2:33 _

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** update

**pidgerino:** they were not engaging in the sex

**pidgerino:** but they were doing couples stuff

**pidgerino:** matt said eta is before 3 for sure so dont worry about them

**Allurable:** That’s… very ominous.

**Allurable:** They’re planning something.

**Allurable:** And you know what it is.

**Allurable:** But they don’t want us to know.

**Allurable:** WAIT!!!!!!

**Sharpshooter:** DO I HEAR WEDDING BELLS?!??!?

**Allurable:** I believe I do!!!

**Sharpshooter:** OSOFHSHDSJ YEAH BUDDY PIDGE TELL US

**Allurable:** This is the best graduation party ever.

**Sharpshooter:** UHM

**Sharpshooter:** no wait u rite srry

**LANCES bf:** wait what

**pidgerino:** its n

**pidgerino:** theyre not getting married

**pidgerino:** as far as i know

**pidgerino:** skksfkksf matts a pussy bitch and would never ask shiro so unLESS shiro is about to propose there are no wedding bells

**Sharpshooter:** what a disappointment honestly

**Allurable:** You do know what is it, though, don’t you?

**pidgerino:** me?

**pidgerino:** of course

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SKFKSKFDSSSFDS I gotchu with that summary didnt i ;))))))
> 
>  
> 
> ANYWAY hi im back
> 
> ill be able to write more chapters now!!!! because i have wifi! heck yeah buddy


	83. welcome to the broganes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharpshooter: i created that meme, i decide when to kill it

_ 11:35 _

**take me to church**

 

**tshirogane:** is everybody online?

**hunkindonuts:** oi vey

**Sharpshooter:** yeet

**LANCES bf:** when are we not?

**pidgerino:** ^^

**Allurable:** Present.

 

_ tshirogane has started a video call [11:35] _

 

Shiro waited patiently for the others to answer the call, watching as icon after icon flashed on his screen to let him know they were picking up. Beside him, Matt awkwardly waved to the camera. Lance was the first to speak. “Shiro, you’re scaring us.” The comment earned a hearty laugh from both men hosting the call.

“I hope not. This is actually supposed to be excited, not horrifying,” he replied, making sure everybody was on before he began talking.

“Anyway, I didn’t want to do this over text since that takes the fun out of it, but I do have an announcement.”

“Do I hear wedding bells?” Allura snickered at Hunk’s question recalling a few days ago the day of his own graduation party. They’d all freaked out about the two getting wed then. However, if they were getting married now, and she didn’t get engagement pictures there would be Hell to pay. Mental note: made.

“Naaaah,” Matt sighed, flopping over so he was out of the picture. Shiro tugged him back up, getting a small laugh from the collective.

“Anyway, on a more realistic note,” Shiro started, his arm moving in what one could only assume to be him grabbing hold of Matt….’s hand? Hopefully. “We talked it over, and talked to those most involved in the aftermath of the decision,” he continued on, Keith’s head giving a quick nod that you wouldn’t notice unless you were watching Keith. “Matt and I are going to be moving in together.”

The entire group erupted. Violently. The cheers were so loud, Pidge ended up throwing her headphones, and Keith ripping his earbuds out of his head. Their reactions were lackluster only because they already knew this was happening.

_ tshirogane has ended the video call [12:21] _

 

**Sharpshooter:** so how is this working with keith???

**tshirogane:** since you keith and hunk are going to college in the fall, not much is happening with him. his room and stuff will all stay the same except for what he takes with him to his dorm???

**Sharpshooter:** right

**tshirogane:** and whatever matt wants moved here, were gonna find a place for in closets, my room, wherever it should go

**tshirogane:** its not like we need a third room

**Sharpshooter:** right ;)

**mattress:** right ;)

**tshirogane:** oh my god what have i done

**Allurable:** When are you moving out, Matt?

**mattress:** my parents said “please go” but itll take a few days to get everything sorted and out

**Allurable:** If you need help, I’d be glad to lend a hand. Now that my classes are out, I have nothing to do.

**tshirogane:** thanks allura. well call you if we need anything. we also have pidge, though.

**pidgerino:** no u dont

**mattress:** we have mom n dad too tho

**pidgerino:** LMAO u think mom and dad will help?

**mattress:** they will if i remind them more hands gets it done faster

**pidgerino:** fuk

**tshirogane:** anyway. weve planned out all the furniture-stuff matts bringing and have been slowly clearing space for that

**hunkindonuts:** thats so cute i love you guys

**hunkindonuts:** can we have a housewarming party??

**tshirogane:** that depends

**tshirogane:** keiths gaduation party is in a few days because im making him have one

**tshirogane:** i mean well probably be able to have a small “welcome to the broganes, matt” party

**Sharpshooter:** LIT

**hunkindonuts:** dibs on snack duty already called it

**tshirogane:** yeah

**mattress:** the plan is:

**mattress:** get my stuff packed

**mattress:** keiths grad party

**mattress:** move my stuff over

**hunkindonuts:** perfect

**Allurable:** And all this is happening while you both go to work?

**tshirogane:** matts in charge of packing all his stuff up

**tshirogane:** he knows the deadline. whatever isnt packed by then doesnt come with

**Allurable:** Harsh. Just like you, Shiro.

**LANCES bf:** haha

**Sharpshooter:** toasted grilled burned to a crisp

**LANCES bf:** dont bring it back

**pidgerino:** lance ew thats an old joke stop it

**pidgerino:** we have new memes now

**Sharpshooter:** im offended

**Sharpshooter:** i created that meme, i decide when to kill it

**hunkindonuts:** i cannot believe you just said that irl

**Sharpshoote:** eat me

**mattress:** anyway shiro and i are going shopping

**Allurable:** Shopping?

**mattress:** yeah we wanna get something new for his house. first purchase together sort of thing, yknow?

**LANCES bf:** lube doesnt count?

**mattress:** speak for yourself kid

**mattress:** but nah were going some dinky pier 1 sorta deal. we dont know what were gonna get. were just gonna browse until we find something we think is neat

**hunkindonuts:** again

**hunkindonuts:** i love you guys youre so cute

**Allurable:** That is quite adorable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERES THE DEVELOPMENT
> 
> shatt is progressing *clap emoji clap emoji clap emoji*
> 
> also :o keith is also getting a grad party???? more on than in the future ;)
> 
> every time i remind myself about the k,l,h going to college i cry even though Im Making It Happen.


	84. friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scoot: heres the tea
> 
> Snoot: is it hot?
> 
> Scoot: its iced tea

_ 4:19 _

**take me to church**

 

**mattress:** its about to be 420 but we arent blazing today boys

**pidgerino:** keep packing big boy

**mattress:** if u aint helping u aint talkin

**mattress:** aNWYAY can i get a raise of hands in the gc

**mattress:** because i know ur all gay like that

**mattress:** best friends character?

**pidgerino:** fuck off its clearly phoebe shes that Bitch

**Sharpshooter:** IM GAY and also in love with rachel dont @ me

**mattress:** im a chandler stan

**pidgerino:** no kinning in the gc

**mattress:** im not

**hunkindonuts:** i also adore phoebe

**Allurable:** I love all of the girls, I can’t pick just one

**tshirogane:** you asked me this last night

**mattress:** tell the group takashi

**Sharpshooter:** kinky

**tshirogane:** joey is a funny and relatable guy

**pidgerino:** RELATABLE HOW? you have your life togehter. youre the chandler to matts joey if anything

**Allurable:** Wrong. He’s the Monica to Matt’s Chandler. He is kinning after all. Respect it.

**mattress:** I CANNOT BLIEVE YOU THINK IM KINNING

**mattress:** I JSUT LIKE HIS HUMOR ITS SHIT LIKE MINE

**pidgerino:** there it is

**pidgerino:** screenshot, printed, framed

**Sharpshooter:** a mood

**LANCES bf:** wait i know this hold on. 

**LANCES bf:** yeah i like phoebe too

**mattress:** thank u keith

**mattress:** this was a test for if u like ross or i kill u its known fact

**tshirogane:** please dont get into this again. keep packing

**mattress:** srry

**mattress:** i turned it on and u know how gay i get with this show

**Sharpshooter:** A MOOD

**Allurable:** Lance is kinning with Matt.

**pidgerino:** SKKFSKASKDSKF THATS GOING IN THE RECEIPTS FOLDER

**tshirogane:** hwat

**pidgerino:** i screencap all the weird shit we say so i can laugh at it and bring it back at your most embarrassing moments

**hunkindonuts:** send me everything about lance i want it for blackmail purposes

**Sharpshooter:** HUNK D:

 

_ 4:44 _

**plunk**

 

**Scoot:** heres the tea

**Snoot:** is it hot?

**Scoot:** its iced tea

**Snoot:** ah

**Scoot:** if u guys ever want blackmail on the others, we three have a pact and i will provide the juices

**Scoot:** just say the word

**Scoot:** shiro? done

**Scoot:** keith? plenty

**Scoot:** ALLURA??? you bet i have it

**Snoot:** you terrify me sometimes i love it

**Furry:** i cannot believe this is a real thing were doing now

**Scoot:** IT COMES AT A PRICE

**Scoot:** its a quarter a screenshot

**Scoot:** or you provide me with dirt that i cant get (dms)

**Scoot:** its not a free trade

**Snoot:** i knew something was up

**Furry:** what do you expect, shes a holt

**Snoot:** all good points and yet i was blindsided

**Scoot:** anyway yeah just lemme know here or dm me because i always have my notifs on for u guys  <3

**Furry:** aww  <3

**Snoot:** amen god bless

**Scoot:** hunk bls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more antics with the kids :^)
> 
> i love them and they need breaks from important life things so heres this
> 
> pidge is evil pass it on (tm)
> 
> im in a really shatt mood because im getting hella rp feels on discord rn  
> thats why im being gay all over this fic now


	85. name change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God: What’s up, Sluts?

_ 7:31 _

**take me to church**

 

**Allurable:** did matt and shiro ever decide on what they were getting?

**LANCES bf:** NO and theyve been going on about it EVERY TIME MATTS HERE and i just wanna punch shiro

**Allurable:** I see.

**Allurable:** Clash of interest?

**pidgerino:** PROBABLy shiros a dad and matts a LOSER

**LANCES bf:** not really

**LANCES bf:** theres nothing good and theyve been to like 4 places now

**LANCES bf:** theyre just frustrated about it i think

**Allurable:** Maybe they should try an antique store? something where everything isn’t mass produced.

**Allurable:** It makes it a lot more special.

**pidgerino:** allura pls dont encourage them matt has to get out of my house

**LANCES bf:** and get him into mine?

**tshirogane:** i am Right Here Keith

**LANCES bf:** gotta blast!

**pidgerino:** is it just me or is keith picking up on lance’s mannerism

**Allurable:** He is.

**Allurable:** It scares me…

 

_ pidgerino has changed LANCES bf ‘s name to LANCE 2 _

 

**pidgerino:** better

**tshirogane:** anyway

**tshirogane:** that antique store idea doesnt sound too bad. we havent gone to thrift stores or anything like that yet

**tshirogane:** ill talk to him about it once hes all moved in

**tshirogane:** or rather as hes moving in

**tshirogane:** it depends on what we get and where it goes anyway

 

_ 1:32 _

 

**Allurable:** GOD IS A WOMAN

**hunkindonuts:** god is YOU honey

**hunkindonuts:** that makes me sound like a flamboyant gay man sorry

**Allurable:** It’s okay.

**Allurable:** I appreciate the support.

**Sharpshooter:** FINGER THE HURRICANE ALLURA

**Allurable:** Sometimes when the bathtub is draining I stick my finger into the swirl going down the drain?

**Sharpshooter:** Same thing

**Sharpshooter:** hold on allura

**Sharpshooter:** as soon as the changes happen say something iconic and godlike its for the meme

 

_ Sharpshooter has changed the chat name to  _ **_god is a woman_ **

_ Sharpshooter has changed Allurable ‘s name to God _

 

**God:** What’s up, Sluts?

**Sharpshooter:** i just fucking yelled and my mom yelled back ALLURA

**God:** I panicked.

**Sharpshooter:** its perfect thank you :-) this is why we stan

**God:** You’re so sweet :)

**hunkindonuts:** LANCE NO 

**hunkindonuts:** TAKE ME TO CHURCH IS TOO ICONIC TO CHANGE NOW??? 

**God:** Yeah, I think everybody is going to have breakdowns when they see this, Lance

**Sharpshooter:** chill b its for the screenshot fjdsjf

**hunkindonuts:** I HATE THIS

**hunkindonuts:** i hate u

**Sharpshooter:** F I N E omfg hunk stop screaming at me i m cry

 

_ Sharpshooter has changed the chat name to  _ **_take me to church_ **

_ Sharpshooter has changed God ‘s name to Alurable _

 

**Sharpshooter:** it was fun while it lasted

**Allurable:** God is a woman nonetheless

**Sharpshooter:** exactly

**Allurable:** That is all I had to say. Goodnight it’s late.

**hunkindonuts:** goodnight everybody except lance for scaring us all like that

**Sharpshooter:** I CHANGED IT BACK HUNK

**hunkindonuts:** and im thankful but sitll excessively stressed

**hunkindonuts:** ill say goodmorning to you if it makes you feel better

**Sharpshooter:** it does  <3

**hunkindonuts:** ok goodnight lance

**hunkindonuts:** ah hell

**Sharpshooter:** GOODNIGHT HUNK ;*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god is a woman out now on itunes
> 
> sponsor me ariana grande


	86. lance is an icon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snoot: he and shiro both probably use bing

_ 11:45 _

**take me to church**

 

**LANCE 2:** who did this

**LANCE 2:** WHO

**pidgerino:** matt

**LANCE 2:** god dammit

**pidgerino:** im sorry keith ill change it for you

**LANCE 2:** thanks

 

_ Sharpshooter changed LANCE 2 ‘s name to QUEEF 3.0 _

 

**QUEEF 3.0:** NO

**pidgerino:** thats better

**QUEEF 3.0:** GET IN HERE LANCE

**hunkindonuts:** its been. 7 months and u still dont know how to change your own name

**QUEEF 3.0:** shut up

**QUEEF 3.0:** its not my fault

**hunkindonuts:** but it is

**pidgerino:** its his culture to be technologically illiterate

**hunkindonuts:** which is ironic because the rest of us are either engineers or nerds

**pidgerino:** or both @ u

**hunkindonuts:** yeah

**hunkindonuts:** enginerds

**pidgerino:** EUREKA 

 

_ pidgerino changed hunkindonuts ‘s name to enginerd _

 

**enginerd:** this is why we are friends

**enginerd:** god bless us every one

**pidgerino:** is that peanuts quote

**QUEEF 3.0:** change my name :(

 

_ 11:52 _

**plunk**

 

**Scoot:** do you think he even knows what google is

**Snoot:** oh god no

**Snoot:** are you crazy

**Snoot:** he and shiro both probably use bing

**Scoot:** matts gonna go insane in that house

**Snoot:** also lance?

**Snoot:** thank you for getting on JUST to change his name to queef again

**Snoot:** a national treasure

**Furry:** u kno i be lurking ;-)

**Scoot:** appreciating u

**Furry:** thank boys

 

_ 11:55 _

**keith.k > Sharpshooter**

 

**keith.k:** lance you never log off change it back

**Sharpshooter:** no

**keith.k:** LANCE i hate u

**Sharpshooter:** u love me

**keith.k:** right now? no

**keith.k:** i wanna dropkick you right now

**Sharpshooter:** oh cmon its a joke

**Sharpshooter:** i dont have you named queef as your contact in my phone at all 

**keith.k:** i will find you

**keith.k:** and i will knock you out

**Sharpshooter:** u wont

**keith.k:** youre at home arent you

**keith.k:** in bed

**Sharpshooter:** n

**keith.k:** im coming over lance :)

 

_ 11:59 _

**take me to church**

 

_ Sharpshooter has changed QUEEF 3.0 ‘s name to i love you _

_ Sharpshooter has changed i love you ‘s name to pls dont dropkick me _

_ Sharpshooter has changed pls dont dropkick me ‘s name to im sorry _

_ Sharpshooter has changed im sorry ‘s name to keef _

 

**keef:** im coming over lance

**Sharpshooter:** WHAT DO YOU WANT IT TO BE THEN

**keef:** uhhhhhh

**keef:** thrasher

**Sharpshooter:** ok

 

_ Sharpshooter has changed keef ‘s name to xX_thrasherXD_Xx _

  
**xX_thrasherXD_Xx:** this is not what i wanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you bet ur ass keith has no fucking clue how to use their texting app after all this time
> 
> and he will never learn because otherwise whats the point
> 
> this entire fic happened BECAUSE i thought about keith -> queef. its my roots. im sorry guys its the reoccurring joke of the fic. succ my ass
> 
> ALSO ANYBODY WANNA TALK s7 SPOILERS???? HIT ME FUCKING UP ON DISCORD FULL TEA @appiepi#6236


	87. you know my girlfriends back and shes gonna kkdfsfj hey naaaa hey naa naa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allurable: This is to spite Lance, isn’t it?
> 
> pidgerino: why else would i take time out of my day

_ 2:15 _

**take me to church**

 

**enginerd:** GUYS!!!!!!

**enginerd:** SHAY COMES BACK TONIGHT!!!

**enginerd:** im so excited my moms said i could go greet her at the airport and everything

**enginerd:** ive barely talked to her since she left and im so excited

**enginerd:** she said shed get wifi on the plane so we could talk again

**tshirogane:** hunk thats great

**tshirogane:** i hope she gets home early enough to get a good night sleep since keith’s graduation party is tomorrow :)

**enginerd:** oh gosh i forgot about that

**tshirogane:** no its ok neither of us have really warned anybody because most of the guests are here or have children who are here

**enginerd:** so it all works out touche

**tshirogane:** yeah

**tshirogane:** the guest list is mostly you guys

**pidgerino:** us, and our families? is that it

**tshirogane:** oh no

**tshirogane:** i invited a couple people other than you guys too dont feel bad

**Allurable:** I think it’s lovely. All of it.

**Allurable:** Shay is coming back and Keith gets to have a day tomorrow.

**enginerd:** a good time for us all

**enginerd:** ANYWAY im gonna go get shay and then we will see you at the brogane residence tomorrow

**enginerd:** her flight gets in just after midnight so im going to sleep now. moms are waking me up at 10. need those 8 hours

**pidgerino:** NOBODY gets 8 hours stop fucking lying where are you going

**enginerd:** pidge im not lance leave me alone

**pidgerino:** its a reflex im sorry hes just so s t u p i d

**Sharpshooter:** ALWAYS LURKING SWEAT CHEEKS

**pidgerino:** DJEJUCS FUK

**tshirogane:** is nothing sacred anymore?

**mattress:** shiro honey

**tshirogane:** get packing curbside college student mattress

**mattress:** WHAT THE UFKC

**tshirogane:** keith took my phone what

**Sharpshooter:** keith is here :-)

**tshirogane:** nOTHING IS SACRED

 

_ 2:31 _

_ pidgerino has added tshirogane, keith.k, Allurable, mattack, hunkindonuts, balmerina to  _ **_anti-lance party_ **

 

**pidgerino:** we cannot let the evil trump us forever

**Allurable:** This is to spite Lance, isn’t it?

**pidgerino:** why else would i take time out of my day

**tshirogane:** this is sacred

**mattack:** my baby sis :`)

**tshirogane:** pidge

**pidgerino:** on it

 

_ pidgerino has removed mattack from the chat _

 

**tshirogane:** now its sacred

**Allurable:** Your own boyfriend…

**tshirogane:** sacred

**hunkindonuts:** amen

**pidgerino:** go to bed ye wee boy

**hunkindonuts:** lmfao im not actually going to bed shay and i are gonna talk until she lands. she bought plane wifi and everything.

**hunkindonuts:** 22 hour flight u get wifi

**hunkindonuts:** a trooper…. she told me shed text me when she woke up. she slept as soon as she got on the plane

**pidgerino:** A TROOPER tell her i love her

**Allurable:** Me as well!

**tshirogane:** sacred

**pidgerino:** o-kay

 

_ pidgerino has removed tshirogane from the chat _

 

**pidgerino:** now THIS is sacred

**hunkindonuts:** ok ok ok bye im gonna go wait for her text because im like that 

**hunkindonuts:** aka im muting you all

**Allurable:** Tell Shay we all say hello, please. Especially the girls.

**hunkindonuts:** anything for you allura

**Allurable:** Thank you.

 

_ 3:16 _

**balmerina > hunkindonuts**

 

**balmerina:** HI!!! im awake

**hunkindonuts:** oh mh god hi

**balmerina:** this plane is so big!! look

 

_ balmerina has sent 1 video _

 

**hunkindonuts:** thats huge what

**balmerina:** I KNOW!

**balmerina:** if we die in the ocean nobody here is surviving :) too many of us

**hunkindonuts:** good thing you wont die

**balmerina:** good point

**hunkindonuts:** shall we begin the longest 10 hours of your life?

**balmerina:** we shall

 

_ hunkindonuts started a video chat [3:20] _

 

_ hunkindonuts ended the video chat [12:49] _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY BABY GIRL COMIN BACK TO OUR LIVES AND TO THIS FIC
> 
> I LOVE SHAY THANK YOU FOR READING THATS ALL THIS FIC IS DONE NOW its not actually bc i wrote a bit more cute hunay stuff for the next chapter


	88. its keiths party and hell cry if he wants to (he does)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tshirogane: i heard annoying keith and i logged in

_ 1:27 _

**take me to church**

 

_ enginerdhas sent an image _

 

**enginerd:** LOOK WHO I HAVE?!?!??

**balmerina:** ITS ME!

**balmerina:** im back in town!

**enginerd:** my girlfriend is home :)

**balmerina:** stop thats gross this is the gc oh my goodness

**enginerd:** in the pic u are literally kissing my cheek………………………..

**enginerd:** op literally said we should pose for a cute pic for her instagram but go off i guess

**balmerina:** okkokoko give me your phone! banned.

 

_ 8:35 _

 

**Sharpshooter:** THATS THE CUTEST SHIT I EVER DONE DID SEE SMH I LOVE SHAY

**Sharpshooter:** YOU WERE MISSED HONEY

**xX_thrashedXD_Xx:** change my name and then ill say hi to shay

 

 _Sharpshooter_ _has changed xX_thrasherXD_Xx ‘s name to LANCES bf_

 

**Sharpshooter:** now say hi to our queen

**LANCES bf:** this is the best you can do?

**Sharpshooter:** STICK UP YOUR ASS SMDH SAY HI TO OUR QUEEN

**LANCES bf:** hi shay

**LANCES bf:** ALSO? its my graduation party day i can do what i want

**pidgerino:** translation: its my party and ill cry if i want to

**LANCES bf:** no?

**pidgerino:** yuh huh now go get ready ur part starts soon

**LANCES bf:** its 8 am

**Sharpshooter:** babe

**LANCES bf:** lance

**pidgerino:** KEITH WKFKFK anti-pet names keith

**LANCES bf:** they are weird and lance has accepted my awkwardness about them okay leave me alone

**pidgerino:** everybody use pet names for their s/o from now on to make keith antsy

**Sharpshooter:** my darling you are a dork

**tshirogane:** i heard annoying keith and i logged in

**pidgerino:** SKKSKDKFK SHIRO 

**tshirogane:** actually i logged in to tell you all to be here around noon

**tshirogane:** keith said the sooner it gets done the better so we get to start it earlier :)

**LANCES bf:** i hate u 

**tshirogane:** you dont

 

_ 12:47 _

 

**Allurable:** Can you all give him some space? You’re staring and Keith is clearly uncomfortable.

**Allurable:** Just let Shiro be there.

**Sharpshooter:** allura do u not know what just happened

**enginerd:** thats

**Allurable:** I know quite well what is going on.

**Sharpshooter:** im srry im staring but that is my boyfriend i think i have rights

**Sharpshooter:** wait holy fuck

**Sharpshooter:** we literally have been awaiting this day

 

_ Sharpshooter has sent an image _

 

**Sharpshooter:** HE LITERALLY FREAKED ABOUT IT TO ME

**Allurable:** You knew?

**Sharpshooter:** hes my boyfriend of course i knew

**pidgerino:** shes really pretty

**enginerd:** she is

**pidgerino:** was keiths dad super ugly or smth where did the beauty go?

**Sharpshooter:** thats my bf ur shitmouthing gremlin

**balmerina:** aw shes just trying to lighten the air lance

**balmerina:** if you were meeting your mother after she left you and your dad, youd be a bit awkward about it too

**Sharpshooter:** why the fuck did shiro hide this from him??

**balmerina:** probably so that keith could be emotionally stable when it happened

**balmerina:** its keith

**balmerina:** worlds most angsty pre-teen from what ive heard around school

**pidgerino:** LMAO

**balmerina:** you hear things when your boyfriends best friends boyfriend used to punch kids for mildly offensive topics

**enginerd:** :)

**balmerina:** hello hunk

**balmerina:** but allura is right. we should probably let those 3 all get acquainted

 

_ 5:34 _

 

**LANCES bf:** krolia

**mattress:** what

**LANCES bf:** my mom

**LANCES bf:** krolia

**mattress:** OH

**mattress:** is she cool

**LANCES bf:** she was in special ops or something. some undercover cop job.

**LANCES bf:** thats why she left

**LANCES bf:** i guess shes still on duty right now

**LANCES bf:** shes a spy for a living

**mattress:** thats cool as fuck wtf my parents are NERDS

**pidgerino:** it shows

**mattress:** theyre. yours too

**pidgerino:** fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DONT FORGET THINGS. IM SMART ENOUGH shes here :) shay and krolia. but krolia will probably only ever be mentioned like 3 more times before im like "im done w this bye" akdkfkkf
> 
>  
> 
> also hi im writing a marching band au fic now that updates on wednesdays!! if u wanna read it that would be nice but its also fine if you wanna stay here <3
> 
> ilu all stay saucy


	89. bringing (not) sexy back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LANCES bf: for you i will shay
> 
> balmerina: i stan keith
> 
> Sharpshooter: EVERYBODY bends to ur will shay you have no idea how powerful you are

_ 7:46 _

**leggyup > Allurable**

 

**leggyup:** Allura! Hi, I know you’re probably not awake

**leggyup:** But I got your number from one of my classmates who said he knew you

**leggyup:** We’re in the same major kind of, but I’m younger than you!!! Uh… yeah

**leggyup:** If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to borrow your notes so I can do a bit of studying before the fall semester starts??

 

_ 8:19 _

**Allurable > leggyup**

 

**Allurable:** Sorry if this is awkward, but I didn’t get your name?

**Allurable:** And perhaps we can meet up for breakfast if you haven’t eaten? I’ll bring my notes with, too.

**leggyup:** OH sorry about that. I’m Romelle! We can totally go get something to eat if you want. Pick a spot and I can meet you there at quarter to??

**Allurable:** Sounds like a plan, Romelle.

 

_ 9:14 _

**take me to church**

 

_ Allurable has added leggyup to the chat. _

 

**Allurable:** Good morning, this is Romelle. I told her about you all and she demanded to meet you.

**leggyup:** Helloooooo Seattle

**Allurable:** We do not live in Seattle.   
  


_ 9:35 _

**take me to church**

 

**LANCES bf:** its not even 10 am

**LANCES bf:** matt and shiro are fighting

**LANCES bf:** over the DUMBEST thing

**LANCES bf:** im gonna scream at them hold on

**balmerina:** RECORD IT

**LANCES bf:** for you i will shay

**balmerina:** i stan keith

**Sharpshooter:** EVERYBODY bends to ur will shay you have no idea how powerful you are

 

_ LANCES bf has sent 1 video _

 

**Sharpshooter:** are they. fighting over………… what gets to be hung up in the closet

**LANCES bf:** yes

**balmerina:** and shiro said “maybe you should hang yourself int he closet”

**LANCES bf:** and then profusely apologize? yes he did

**Sharpshooter:** god i love shatt and their stupidity

**Sharpshooter:** ANYWAY A NEW HOMIE? hi the names lance but you can call me anytime

**balmerina:** okay you have a boyfriend but go off i guess

**balmerina:** IM SHAY nice to meet you! :D

**LANCES bf:** also hi romelle its keith

**leggyup:** Allura was right

**leggyup:** ALSO hi keith!

**LANCES bf:** hello

 

_ Sharpshooter has changed leggyup ‘s name to cdrom _

 

**cdrom:** OH I like that

**Sharpshooter:** im a username entrepreneur thank you

**cdrom:** You’re welcome?

**balmerina:** haha

**balmerina:** allura show yourself tell us how your date went

**Allurable:** I didn’t go on a date with Romelle.

**balmerina:** STOP HIDING

**Allurable:** Shay, please,

**balmerina:** add him queen we stan

**Allurable:** Alright, fine, you win.

 

_ Allurable has added lotor.daibazaal to the chat _

  
**Sharpshooter:** excuse me /what/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SEASON 7 HAPPENED AND ITS CONSUMED ALL OF MY TIME
> 
> MATT IS HOT AND IM FUCKING THIRSTY BITCH
> 
> so heres this because i never added romelle here we go uwu i love my queen....... also excuse me im still getting back into the writing funk ksdfksjfsdk thank u for listening


	90. my boyfriends back and hes dkfkdfkdkds hey naaa hey naa naaa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allurable: I want confirmation you at least saw this and hopefully read it all. Send Nudes is your codeword.

_ 9:48 _

**take me to church**

 

**Allurable:** Yes. I went on a date with Lotor. What about it?

**Sharpshooter:** im shook

**balmerina:** we are happy for our queen lance

**Sharpshooter:** WE ARE but also im shook bc

**lotor.daibazaal:** The entire prank thing yes I know

**lotor.daibazaal:** I am over that entire ordeal thank you

**Sharpshooter:** im quaking irl wtf

**Allurable:** Please try not to give him a hard time. Now excuse me, I need to warn the Holt family. All 3 of them.

**balmerina:** theres 4 holts?

**Allurable:** All 3 of them in this chat.

**balmerina:** theres 2 holts?

**Allurable:** As if Shiro isn’t already one of them.

**balmerina:** UDNERSTANDABLE HAVE A NCIE DAY

 

_ 10:03 _

_ Allurable has added tshiogane, mattack, pidgerino to A Sit Down _

 

**Allurable:** I went on a date with Lotor.

**Allurable:** It went well.

**Allurable:** We are already going on a second date this evening.

**Allurable:** He is aware of the prank and how it might make things awkward between you all and him.

**Allurable:** Please do not try anything.

**Allurable:** Or I will smack down harder than your meme man.

**Allurable:** Johnathan Cena.

**Allurable:** And before you speak in the group chat?

**Allurable:** I want confirmation you at least saw this and hopefully read it all. Send Nudes is your codeword.

 

_ 10:23 _

 

**pidgerino:** send nudes bless

**tshirogane:** Why must is be send nudes?

**mattack:** JOHNATHAN CENA

**Allurable:** Matthew.

**mattack:** send nudes shiro ;)

**tshirogane:** Matthew.

**mattack:** FINE smh ruin the fun beech

 

_ 10:31 _

**take me to church**

 

**tshirogane:** hey lotor welcome back

**lotor.daibazaal:** Thank you shiro

**tshirogane:** how was your date with allura?

**lotor.daibazaal:** It went quite well in my opinion but youd have to ask allura about what she though

**lotor.daibazaal:** Although i hope she enjoyed it since we are adventuring out tonight as well

**tshirogane:** im glad you two are getting it all worked out

**lotor.daibazaal:** I am too

**pidgerino:** what r ur intentions with my fake gf

**Sharpshooter:** YEAH

**Sharpshooter:** what r ur intentions with my second cousin

**Sharpshooter:** tick tock hunty

**lotor.daibazaal:** I want to build a relationship with her i dont see where that is an issue

**pidgerino:** cute

**Sharpshooter:** but Why

**tshirogane:** lance stop giving him a hard time

**enginerd:** omg lotors back hi

**lotor.daibazaal:** Hello?

**enginerd:** OH yeah im hunk hi we changed my name at long last

**lotor.daibazaal:** Yes that makes it easier thank you

**Allurable:** Keith is never here. It’s quite odd.

**tshirogane:** hes always talking to lance

**tshirogane:** got my lil bro hooked on snapchat

**LANCES bf:** i am noT hooked

**LANCES bf:** he sends me pictures so i HAVE to respond

**mattress:** just admit u know how to work snap better than this we arent MAD

**LANCES bf:** people cant change my name to queef there

**mattress:** SKDKFKDS WHY DID YOU NEVER

**pidgerino:** finish that sentence and i will kill you with a sneaker

**LANCES bf:** WHAT

**pidgerino:** nothing

**mattress:** nothing

**lotor.daibazaal:** I forgot that you all were of this caliber 

**tshirogane:** a handful? yes

**tshirogane:** do we all love each other too much? yeah

**tshirogane:** do i regret it? often

**lotor.daibazaal:** Its nice that you are all this close at least

**pidgerino:** some not by choice tho smh

**mattress:** HEY I JUST MOVED OUT i will come back dont test me

**pidgerino:** sneakers are coming off

**mattress:** are you wearing sneakers inside

**pidgerino:** WHAT ABOUT IT

**lotor.daibazaal:** Siblings

**pidgerino:** unfortunately

**mattress:** unfortunately

**tshirogane:** yeah thats the holts

**Allurable:** You are one of them as well

**tshirogane:** no?

**Allurable:** When you propose you will be

**tshirogane:** good thing im not planning to propose any time soon

**Sharpshooter:** FUCKCKHFC

**mattress:** i just gasped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT PERSON WHO PULLS AN ALL NIGHTER TO READ THIS FIC IS GOING TO GET A PILE DRIVE RIGHT INto bed so i can tuck you in. do you need water? a bedtime story? anything? lemme tuck you in. you need sleep honey so please get proper rest!!
> 
> ilu all and im sorry im so SLOW at uploading BUT im getting ready for uni and im scared  
> (also im cosplaying so)
> 
> ALSO!!! WE SURPASSED 1000 KUDOS IM CRYING IRL YALL ARE SO GOOD TO ME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA <3


	91. dont read this chapter. actually dont. you think im joking but im not. skip this. go to chapter 92.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ITS JUST SHIRO CONTENT
> 
> ITS A RECAP OF EVERYTHING
> 
> BUT ONLY THE LINES WHERE THE WORD SHIRO OCCURS 
> 
> HATE ME FOR IT I SPENT MORE TIME ON THIS THAN THE ENTIRE REST OF THE FIC COMBINED

_ Sharpshooter has added keith.k, pidgerino, tshirogane, hunkindonuts, Allurable to  _ **_take me to funky town._ **

**tshirogane:** Lance, what is this?

**tshirogane:** You all need to get to class.

**tshirogane:** What’s a queef?

**tshirogane:** That’s enough of that. Get back to class, guys.

**Sharpshooter:** o would ye look at the time aye gotta get back tae class er shiro is gonna fuck me up yeah?

**tshirogane:** Boys.

**tshirogane:** Pidge.

**tshirogane:** And Hunk. Enough bickering. Be civil about this if you are going to be civil about anything… please.

**tshirogane:** Allura, this isn’t the time to adapt to Lance’s way of English.

**tshirogane:** Somebody change his name back before he throws a tantrum, please?

**tshirogane:** What did I just say?

**tshirogane:** Wait, why can’t we add Matt?

**tshirogane:** His meme game is great, Pidge.

**pidgerino:** thats because youve dealt with it for so many years that its ur meme game too shiro

**Allurable:** Shiro, you’re doing amazing sweetie!

_ tshirogane added mattack  _ **_take me to flavor town_ **

**tshirogane:** It is Thursday.

**pidgerino:** shiro you did this to us

**tshirogane:** Will you two knock it off?

**tshirogane:** Matthew.

**tshirogane:** That name sounds like the name of a seductive sorceress.

**hunkindonuts:** shiro? 

**tshirogane > keith.k**

 

**tshirogane:** Keith, if you spill this, you will go find another Brogane.

**keith.k:** shiro wait how serious is this

**tshirogane:** Kind of a lot.

**tshirogane:** I’m not entrusting you with the taxes, calm down.

**tshirogane:** It’s about Matt.

**tshirogane:** Stop.

**tshirogane:** Keith.

**keith.k:** shiro.

**tshirogane:** I’m not going to bone him. But I am gonna ask him to come over.

**tshirogane:** But you need to keep your trap shut about it. It’s not a date. We are hanging out.

**tshirogane > mattack**

**tshirogane:** Matt, I have to ask you something.

**tshirogane:** No, just. Wait. Let me ask first.

**tshirogane:** Would you like to come over and hang out for a while? Tonight or tomorrow. Whichever works best for you, at least. I don’t have work until Sunday.

**tshirogane:** うるさい、バカ。

**mattack:** shiro im offended

**tshirogane:** what

**tshirogane > keith.k**

**tshirogane:** He’s coming over, I’m ordering take out.

_ keith.k added Sharpshooter, pidgerino, hunkindonuts to  _ **_shiro is gay._ **

_ Sharpshooter changed the chat name to  _ **_Shiro is pansexual_ ** _. _

_ keith.k changed the chat name to  _ **_shiro is gay_ **

**keith.k:** shiro is pining after matt?

**pidgerino:** if i hear about shiro having. intercourse. with matt i will never talk to either of them again

_ hunkindonuts changed the chat name to  _ **_anti-kinkshaming shiro party_ **

**hunkindonuts:** keith, what made you gather us here other than the obvious fact that shiro is completely whipped?

**kagome:** shiro got chinese take out

**Sharpshooter:** wheres shiro at tho

**tshirogane:** You’re both awful.

**tshirogane:** He made them.

**tshirogane:** Matthew.

**mattress:** Takashi.

**tshirogane:** h

**anti-kinkshaming shiro party**

_ pidgerino added tshirogane, mattack to  _ **_does lance is gay?_ **

**tshirogane:** Does Lance is bi?

**tshirogane:** fine

**pidgerino:** shiro? normal? in my christian chat?

**tshirogane:** i g o here

**tshirogane:** $10 says they both have one for each other

**tshirogane:** yup

**tshirogane:** lol

_ Texan!Pidge changed tshirogane ‘s name to OUT 10 BIGGIES _

**howdy:** djjdjfjfjjfjsfjslf SHIRo

**tshirogane:** matt put the phone away

**mattress:** ssshirorrieooeoseodsoflsvcvcxnvnnvc,cx

**tshirogane:** confiscated.

**tshirogane:** go to bed keith.

**anti-kinkshaming shiro party**

**Sharpshooter:** did shiro and matt sleep together????

**anti-kinkshaming shiro party**

**keith.k:** shiro left me a note on the counter???

**anti-kinkshaming shiro party**

**tshirogane:** me too. but mine has a door and its empty underneath.

_ (tshirogane: 1 image) _

**Sharpshooter:** wait i just noticed shiro broke character

**tshirogane:** get to class guys what are you doing

**tshirogane:** shoo!

**pidgerino:** what was shirogane takashi doing in your bed last night

**anti-kinkshaming shiro party**

**pidgerino:** im debunking why shiro and matt were sleeping together ill fill in the blanks soon

**pidgerino:** alas, tis no biggie. just wanna know why shiro is in ur bed

**pidgerino:** i mean okay buuuuuuut i got that video from this morning and unless u want me to ask shiro in the gc u better cough it up brotherly comrade

**pidgerino:** yo shiro i gotta question

**Allurable:** Not by Shiro.

**pidgerino:** i want shiros raw reaction and i want to know when he sees it and when he decides to respond so dont speak my hushkins

**Allurable:** Shiro will probably act very calm about it but if I talk to him privately I feel he will blow up… Or at least be extremely embarrassed.

**Sharpshooter:** youre all so cautious shiro will probably laugh

_ tshirogane has left the chat. _

_ pidgerino has added tshirogane to the chat. _

_ tshirogane has left the chat. _

_ pidgerino has added tshirogane to the chat. _

_ tshirogane has left the chat. _

**keith.k > tshirogane**

**tshirogane:** im not upset im just spiting pidge

_ mattress has added tshirogane to the chat _

**tshirogane:** if you want an answer ill give it to you

**tshirogane:** we marathoned the office until we passed out

**tshirogane:** first of all,

**tshirogane:** the office is magnificent

**tshirogane:** you just said the office was bad

**tshirogane:** yeah

**tshirogane > keith.k**

**tshirogane:** also its not an affair

**tshirogane:** its nothing

_ Jim changed tshirogane ‘s name to Jan _

_ Jan changed their name to tshirogame _

**Jim:** SHIROGAME

**tshirogame:** grind stops for sleep and good health

**tshirogame:** i could and therefore i am

**tshirogame:** pidge

**tshirogame:** Pidge

**pidgerino:** shiro do u and matt rlly get busy ;)tm and just dont wanna admit it?

**tshirogame:** wow would you look at that my boss just keened over and fucking died i gotta work all of a sudden!

**tshirogane > mattack**

**tshirogane:** but like.

**mattack > tshirogane**

**tshirogame:** i had work i just got off 2 minutes ago

**tshirogame:** when you have 10 hour night shift

**tshirogame:** then can we all congregate here because thatd be much easier than me trying to drive elsewhere

**tshirogame:** illegally yes

**pidgerino:** wtf shiro go to bed who said we have to hang out

**Jim:** shiro did

**tshirogame:** im fine with anything after 11. i at least want a power nap if its not too much to ask

**pidgerino:** is this about shiro

**chief keef:** just letting you all know that shiro is still asleep because im just gonna wake him up when everybody is here

**pidgerino:** also keith can we dogpile shiro or would he kill us

**pidgerino:** and with a vote of 4:2 not counting me or shiro

“Shiro’s in bed, so you can make yourself comfortable until he wakes up.”

“SHIRO!” 

Before Keith could go solve the problem, Matt was halfway to the kitchen and on his way to Shiro’s room.

Shiro just sighed and tugged the covers over his head.

“Takashi,” he whispered, patting the lump that was Shirogane Takashi. Hesitantly, Shiro peeked out from under the covers at Matt, smiling at the sight.

Almost immediately, Shiro was up and rushing after him.

By the time Matt was in the living room, Shiro was right behind him with tunnel vision for the cup.

“Hi Shiro,” he whispered, coming back to his senses and touching the cup to a hand on his stomach.

As Shiro took the cup, his head popped up with a small smile on his lips.

“What’s true?” Shiro looked down to Lance, still not releasing Matt from his grasp. 

They split and Matt took a seat on the sofa, Shiro going in the opposite direction back toward his room.

As for Matt and Shiro, they ended up asleep with Matt leaning against Shiro’s front side, wrapped together in the blanket.

**tshirogame:** bungalow

**hunkindonuts:** why are shiro and matt so adorable???

**tshirogame:** why

**tshirogame:** “bad boy”

**tshirogame:** the worst thing you ever did to get in trouble was you wrote and submitted your own retake and the only question was “did i write this test?” and your answer was no

**matthew scarn:** FUCK OFF SHIRO IM PROUD OF THAT

**tshirogame:** remember when you convinced your english teacher freshmen year that you were legally blind

**tshirogane:** are you implying lance is getting it

**tshirogame:** weird.

**tshirogame:** keith and i are regular cousins

**pidgerino > tshirogane**

**tshirogane:** why

**tshirogane:** what do you get if you succeed

**tshirogane:** i want 3 of that remaining 18

**tshirogane:** ill send you baby/toddler keith

_ (tshirogane: 26 images) _

**tshirogane:** thats not even half

**pidgerino:** shiro

**keith.k:** and how much did you give shiro

**keith.k:** so you get 12 or you get 15 and shiro gets 3

**keith.k:** wasnt the last time you went to get coffee with shiro when you

**keith.k:** because i know shiros side of that stuff from an outsider experience

**Allurable:** You don’t have to worry about Shiro and my past together.

**keith.k > tshirogane**

**tshirogane:** keith go to bed you have school eventually

**tshirogane:** idk a matt holt srry

**tshirogane:** why are you suddenly so curious anyway keith

**tshirogane:** oh my god youre a first grader

**tshirogane:** yes, we are dating.

**tshirogane:** i think. 

**tshirogane:** we went on a date together. 

**tshirogane:** but it wasnt a true date.

**tshirogane:** it was when i stayed at matts house

**tshirogane:** if theres anything i learned from previous relationships its that dates dont have to be extravagant to be meaningful, keith

**tshirogane:** now go to bed. 

**tshirogame:** pay up pidge

**pidgerino:** if you ask keith out ill call off the deal and pay allura and shiro with my own hard earned allowance

and i wanna try to have quick make out sessions with you in between shiros trips to the bathroom because hes watching us so carefully to make sure we dont make any mistakes or do things we regret and being a good guardian to you. 

**keith.k > tshirogane**

**tshirogane:** so you are going on that date

**tshirogane:** do you need money

**tshirogane:** do you need a ride

**tshirogane:** can lance drive

**tshirogane:** is he coming over here first or are we picking him up?

**tshirogane:** okay see you soon

**keith.k:** thanks shiro

**tshirogane > Allurable**

**tshirogane:** keith and lance are going on a date tonight

**tshirogane:** when do you want the money

**tshirogane:** then ill see you then

**tshirogame:** tfw

**tshirogane > mattack**

**tshirogane:** are you busy right now

**tshirogane:** do you wanna come over???

**tshirogane:** the door is unlocked

**chief keef:** we walk into my house and the pet gate shiro uses to block me off from the kitchen / rest of the house was up

**lanceylance:** “SHIRO”

**lanceylance:** i just heard shiro go “you won this time”

**lanceylance:** does shiro have a wall sex kink somebody confirm

**chief keef:** KGDJSJLGJ DONT ASK ALLURA ABOUT SHIROS KINKS

**chief keef:** shiro and matt have wall sex while lance and i are in the house the first of many installments

**chief keef:** update, lance is dancing like hes in a club but its badly done, and shiro just screamed and something sounded like it fell

**chief keef:** shiro just tried to yell at us and tripped on the gate

**lanceylance:** shiro stood up yeah? and he points at keith and he goes. “the gate means rats like you dont get to cross” 

**lanceylance:** update matt is out here and hes just trying to get shiro back in the mood to finish their fuck

**lanceylance:** kkdkkfdkkd nvm shiros bi i cant talk

**pidgerino:** wait werent you the one who was so sure shiro was pan

**keith.k > tshirogane**

**tshirogane:** youre going to olive garden?

**tshirogane:** fine here i come

_ tshirogane added Allurable, mattack, balmerina, pidgerino, hunkindonuts to Operationg Klance _

**tshirogane:** operation klance is a go

_ pidgerino changed tshirogane ‘s name to operationg _

**mattack:** too late pidge just screamed “LETS GO GET SHIRO” from her room

**pidgerino:** LETS ALL MOVE IN WITH SHIRO

**mattack:** because im SAVING for a HOME shiro

**keith.k > tshirogane**

**tshirogane:** done already??

**tshirogane:** are you parting ways?

**tshirogane:** what are you doing then?

**tshirogane:** oh nice okay are you at olive garden?

**tshirogane:** see you soon

**mattack > tshirogane**

**tshirogane:** i will strangle you

**tshirogane:** im single suddenly

**mattack:** shiro were you serious are we single guys

**matthew scarn:** shiro broke up with me

**tshirogame:** yes

**pidgerino:** matt and shiro are too gay thats false

**tshirogame:** hes single

**tshirogame:** temporarily

**tshirogame:** until he ditches the restaurant ideas

**tshirogame:** no… this. this is not possible. this. this cannot be.

**lanceylance:** hi shiro

**tshirogame:** matt you have work in 20 minutes

**tshirogame:** MATT

**lanceylance:** wait shiro i need ur help and it has nothing to do with keith

**tshirogame:** i heard my name and not keith im listening

**lanceylance:** anyway shiro you were a band geek right?

**tshirogame:** why must you make me remember my dark past

**matthew scarn:** THROWBACK TO SHIRO THE BAND NERD

**tshirogame:** you say that but youre the one who always hung out with me

**tshirogame:** both of you

**tshirogame:** anyway lance what is it

**tshirogame:** somebody in the band would have to join you

**tshirogame:** or me

**tshirogame:** because the director loved me even though i hardly cared

**tshirogame:** probably because i was somehow good at it?

**tshirogame:** i mean i guess

**lanceylance:** then come with me shiro i wanna play drums

**tshirogame:** why

**tshirogame:** im not taking you to the band room you can just tap on your leg

**Allurable:** Where is Shiro in all of this? Matt is seriously hurt?

**pidgerino:** also there was one time a few years ago when shiro accidentally sliced matts leg open and he had to get stitches which was a BLAST

**pidgerino:** anyway shiro has spent a lot of time in the hospital because of matts own stupidity

**chief keef:** shiros

**chief keef:** shiros been at work since noon

**chief keef:** i just called shiros work and they said he has break in 3 minutes

**tshirogame:** what the ufck is going on

**tshirogame:** is matt okay

**tshirogame:** what happened

**tshirogame:** pidge

**tshirogame:** im on break i have 45 minutes somebody better tell me whats going on

**tshirogame:** never mind im on my way

**matthew scarn:** “shiro isnt gay stop lying on instagram” 

**matthew scarn:** idk if shiro even KNOWS her ill ask him later lmfao

**matthew scarn:** “shiro is too good for you” 

**lanceylance:** shiro is too good for you

**matthew scarn:** lmfao anyway im omw home and shiro is holding my hand hardcore

**tshirogame:** aw hes so happy

**tshirogame:** suddenly i have to work all of a sudden

**chief keef:** shiro suddenly has to work all of a sudden

**pidgerino:** shiro suddenly has to work all of a sudden

**chief keef:** i dont know if shiro ACTUALLY has work or not so i cant confirm or deny that we are going but im going its just him

**tshirogame:** I just Told you We Are Going Stop Lying

**tshirogame:** wait, which 12?

**tshirogame:** i see

**Allurable > tshirogane**

**Allurable:** I understand if you don’t want to come until after he leaves, if you desire to do so, Shiro.

**tshirogane:** i like your dad. i have no problem seeing him

**tshirogane:** i was curious because i wanted to see him, actually

**tshirogane > keith.k**

**tshirogane:** unless you want to ride with your boyfriend we are going around 11:30

**tshirogane:** yet

**tshirogane:** i want to catch up with Alfor

_ lanceylance changed tshirogame ‘s name to shiro. _

**keith:** shiro

**pidgerino:** SHIRO GET IN HERE

**shiro:** what

**shiro:** oh

**shiro:** it wasnt All from me dont lie

**shiro:** all i did was show you panic

**shiro:** Please No

**tshirogane:** too early

**tshirogane:** i dont think anybody was

Shiro’s car pulled up into the long driveway that lead to the castle that was the Altea residence.

“What,” he began before he realized the car was off and Shiro was out and waiting for him.

“Allura told us you were leaving, and I thought it would be nice to say hi before you left,” Shiro radiated his usual strong presence and good-guy attitude, something everybody knew he used whenever he talked to people older than him.

“I’m not quite sure,” she shrugged, looking over to Shiro with a shrug. 

Shiro and Matt looked to each other and then to Coran, eyebrows raised. “Lance and Keith, too,” he added, making Matt and Shiro squint and side eye Coran. “As well as Shiro and Matthew,” he finished, making the boys sigh in relief. 

Shiro shook his head and laughed to himself, looking over to where Matt was standing just a second ago. 

Matt looked back to Shiro, cookie shoved in his mouth. He signaled Shiro over with a finger, smirking. That was much too mischievous for Shiro’s liking, but he proceeded anyways, with caution of course. Matt thrust his face out toward his boyfriend and Shiro immediately knew what he was trying to do.

Matt grinned and grabbed Shiro, shrieking in his mouth at the other. Finally, Shiro heavily sighed and took the other end in his mouth, taking a bite of it. 

He was still figuring out how to get down the stairs since Shiro refused to let him have help. Allura and Shiro were busy playing a game of billiards while Lance, Pidge and Shay duked it out in a dance dance revolution brawl. 

Keith looked at Matt, Shiro, Lance, and then Hunk. “Who is Felicia?”

Allura took one last shot at the 8 ball and pocketed it, putting her stick back in the rack and smiling to Shiro before leading Shay back up the stairs.

“This is my bedroom… I only let girls in here, but Lance found his way in and Shiro’s been in here a few times.”

Shay immediately sat down beside Matt, “I want next game,” she grinned, looking back to the board where Shiro, Hunk, Pidge, Lance and Keith were all twisted into one another awkwardly. “You’re next,” Shiro added, a smirk on his face. Matt spun the wheel again and gave them a new move. It resulted in Shiro in a very sexual-looking position and Pidge spread out like a starfish across the floor. 

Shiro violently fake-coughed causing Pidge to fall onto her stomach. “Get your germy ass OUTTA HERE, SHIROGANE!”

Shiro stood up, folding his arms in triumph. He looked down at Pidge and stepped off the mat. “Got ‘em.”

_ pidgerino changed tshirogane ‘s name to shiros scar. _

**shiros scar:** go to Bed

**scrambled:** i just woke up to shiro gagging so hard?

**shiros scar:** im not sick its just a sore throat

**Allurable:** Drink plenty of water and try medicine and cough drops. Get a lot of rest, Shiro.

**Allurable:** Call Matt to take care of you.

**shiros scar:** hes a huge germaphobe with this sort of thing

**shiros scar:** plus he has a broken leg

**shiros scar:** he can stay home ill be fine

**shiros scar:** thanks allura, if i feel awful later ill talk to you

**hard boiled:** wait shiro is sick??

**shiros scar:** this is the second time this year actually

**shiros scar:** working at a place that has so many different customers was a bad idea

**ROCKHARDCORE:** wait shiro was with us all day yesterday

**scrambled:** shiro went to sleep idk where everybody else is sorry

**scrambled:** shiro is still asleep?

**hard boiled:** im going to the shirogane household

**shiros scar:** i woke up to chicken noodle soup all over my lap but there werent any noodles or chicken

**Allurable:** Matt was trying his best, Shiro.

**shiros scar:** he spilled it on me

**shiros scar:** and said “stay WOKE” as he did

**shiros scar:** same thing

**shiros scar:** thanks for referring to my body as a carcass

**shiros scar:** wait that wasnt lance????

**Allurable:** Shiro, I never did ask, but would you like somebody else to help take care of you after what occured earlier?

**hunkindonuts:** i TOLD YOU shiro would die first for a stupid reason

**shiros scar:** somebody. anybody. take a guess as to why I am Awake

**shiros scar:** to a pinpoint

**shiros scar:** why are you telling

**shiros scar:** WHYA RE YOU CMING HERE

**shiros scar:** then how are you getting here?

**shiros scar:** did you just ring my doorbell?

**pidgerino:** i dont want to piss off shiro stfu keith

_ mattack has added Allurable, tshirogane to  _ **_sick boi_ **

**mattack:** shiro is sick 

**mattack:** wait can we wake up shiro i have a good idea

_ mattack has added Sharpshooter, keith.k, Allurable, pidgerino, hunkindonuts, balmerina, tshirogane to  _ **_truth or dare question mark_ **

**Allurable:** Got it. Waking up Shiro.

**tshirogane:** matthew samuel holt what are you doing

**tshirogane:** yes you do its oliver

**tshirogane:** Keith Oliver

**tshirogane:** yes, he is kok

**kok:** fuck you takashi shirogane

**tshirogane:** its nice not having a middle name

_ pidgerino changed tshirogane ‘s name to ts. _

**la:** suck my ass shiro

**ka:** hi shiro

**kok:** ok then i dare you to tell us all what matt and shiro talk about during sex

**ka:** it went dead silent and i heard shiro whisper “if you call me daddy again imma fucken rip your face off bithc” and slap his chest like in the vine

**ka:** so shiro YELLS AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS

_ ms changed ts ‘s name to shiros scar. _

**shiros scar:** did they make out?

**pidgerino:** yeah shiro go see if they banged

**tshirogane:** awful, all of you.

**shiros scar:** @klance get UP stop DOING IT

**shiros scar:** hes Not Texan he’s korean keith stop trying to make me a cowboy

_ pidgerino changed shiros scar ‘s name to COWBOY. _

_ COWBOY SHIRO changed their name to shiro. _

**shiro:** awful

**matthews scar:** man shiro bit a fucken bullet hes gonna b stuck with HOLT now smh

**shiro:** thats gay culture right there

**shiro:** thats gay culture right there

**Sharpshooter:** i just watched allura explain her entire HISTORY and shiro just comes in with gay culture and honestly?

**shiro:** thats straight culture

**hunkindonuts:** WHY SHIRO

**shiro:** since when WASNT taco bell gay culture

**matthews scar:** shiro u too quit ur job for tb

**shiro:** no thx i make 12 an hour

**shiro:** 2 jobs? no thx

**shiro:** somebody has to watch keith and it will Not be Lance

**shiro:** im staying at my job. let the high schoolers work fast food, im good

**shiro:** Go to Bed

**shiro:** same

**shiro:** sleep its almost midnight

**shiro:** one sec

**tshirogane > keith.k**

**tshirogane:** is lance your boyfriend

**tshirogane:** if you tell me the truth i will buy you new gloves

**tshirogane:** the switchblade from that pawn shop?

**tshirogane:** you can say boyfriend its okay

Right below Lance’s contact was Shiro.

This message could either bring a lot of chaos or nothing at all depending on how Shiro would react.

With a final press of his thumb on a button and the message transferred from the text box to the chat where Shiro would eventually see it for himself.

**keith.k > tshirogane**

**tshirogane > keith.k**

**tshirogane:** what?

**tshirogane:** ok goodnight

**tshirogane:** its betrayal

**shiro:** ge tto class kids

**shiro:** if you guys want to know about lance i can give him a call or something and fill you in

**hunkindonuts:** thanks shiro :-)!

**tshirogane > Sharpshooter**

**tshirogane:** are you doing alright bud?

**tshirogane:** right

**tshirogane:** so youre not actually sick?

**tshirogane:** howd you get a runny nose anyway?

**tshirogane:** huh.

**tshirogane:** make sure you bundle up next time

**tshirogane:** hunk just about had a heart attack an hour ago

**keith.k:** shiro doesnt do that stuff though

**Sharpshooter:** how long has shiro been your guardian?

**keith.k:** i dunno… all shiro ever told me was that one day my dad showed at shiros college apartment with me in tow and said “here”

**keith.k:** i bet theres more to the story than that but ever since shiro was 18 ive been in his care

**Sharpshooter:** like a day or two ago i realized ever since ive known your “parent” was shiro

**Sharpshooter:** did shiro not tell you?

**shiro:** hey lance

**shiro:** i dont need the sarcasm but i need you to do something

**tshirogane > Sharpshooter**

**tshirogane:** can you analyze keith for me?

_ (tshirogane sent an image) _

**tshirogane:** ah?

**Sharpshooter:** DID YOU TELL SHIRO

**shiro:** what the flick

**shiro:** says you

**shiro:** theyre holts what more do you expect

**shiro:** how far will that get you if somebody sees you sniffing your pencil and then mumbling “cryptid 004 discovered”

**shiro:** soon

**mattack:** shiro probably wouldnt mind, or i would help too

**mattack:** if shiro says no imma smack the shit outta him BAM BAM

**mattack:** im adding beat up shiro to your break when are you free

**Allurable:** I would immediately open any day in my schedule to beat up Shiro.

**shiro:** thats really specific and i dont like it thanks

**shiro:** thanks i Fucking hate it

**shiro:** not sensitive topic its just really specific and makes me feel like i was married and stuff

**shiro:** there it is

**shiro:** haha you have to work with your dad

**shiro:** dont even think about going there

**shiro:** at least i get to live on my own because i can pay my rent on time

**shiro:** and can feed another mouth solely based on My employment

**shiro:** at least i know how to budget enough so i can pay it off

**Allurable:** Matt, you didn’t need to snap back at Shiro like that over something he couldn’t control.

**Allurable:** Shiro, you didn’t need to fight him on it. Especially after you’d already warned him.

**shiro:** I stepped out of line, its not your fault Allura

**shiro:** yeah

**shiro:** and?

**shiro:** I CANT BELIEVE LANCE ACTUALLY CAME OVER

**shiro:** this is why mom never FUCKING loved you

_ shiro has added mattress _

**shiro:** w h y

**tshirogane > keith.k**

**tshirogane:** did you two actually do anything

**tshirogane:** i can accept that

**tshirogane:** did you talk to lance about that or was it just a not today thing

**tshirogane:** good. dont think you have to follow the paces of other relationships or let alone lance’s pace.

**tshirogane:** its a personal matter and lance cares about you so hell respect your boundaries so long as you respect his

**tshirogane:** did you two eat?

**tshirogane:** take out?

**tshirogane:** ok ill be back in like 20 minutes dont let lance leave without him eating

**tshirogane:** excuse me

**tshirogane:** great.

**shiro:** areyou okay?

**shiro:** your typing says otherwise

**shiro:** does anybody know if lance does drugs or alcohol

**shiro:** YEAH

**shiro:** OH thats right hes there 

**shiro:** its 10 at night give me a break

**shiro:** go to bed pidge

**shiro:** and lance

**shiro:** unless youre allowed to stay idk i mean i fed you what more can i do

**shiro:** big miss take

**mattress:** miss steak, shiro

**shiro:** yeah

**shiro:** and then going home like a real child would

**shiro:** nobody needed your input matt

**shiro:** must be nice not having to wake up for labor hours

**shiro:** you were supposed to clock in at 9

**shiro:** thankfully he slept in actual day clothes so he didnt have to do anything drastic to take forever

**shiro:** 15 minutes. his boss somehow believed it was because of his leg

**shiro:** yeah

**shiro:** good question

**shiro:** i dont think he knows either

**shiro:** i think?? its been like 9 weeks

**shiro:** yeah ok im calling sam

**shiro:** definitely a breed, thats for sure.

**shiro:** sam is scheduling an appointment. i dont know how they all managed to forget. hes been in a Cast for 9 weeks. not even a boot yet.

**shiro:** matts been on crutches for 9 weeks with a neon orange thing around his foot for over 2 months and nobody did anything

**shiro:** WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ASK THE WEIRD QUESTIONS

**shiro:** I EXPECT IT FROM LANCE BUT NOT YOU?

**shiro:** no?

**shiro:** this exposes us both you know

_ shiro added mattack to  _ **_take me to church_ **

**shiro:** twink

**shiro:** no you arent get back to going checkout aisles cripple

**shiro:** what did i just say

**shiro:** did you just blanktext him

**shiro:** did

**shiro:** OH

**shiro:** t wink

**shiro:** haha

**shiro:** cute

**shiro:** get back to work you dunce

**shiro:** he sent me a video of the velcro noise

**shiro:** we know

**shiro:** literally everybody here has a fascination in science and most of us indulge in space and astronomy a lot

**shiro:** its why were friends

**shiro:** what mister “i went to space camp and met my future boyfriend who was also my boyfriend at the time i went”?

**shiro:** nothing

**mattress:** yeah

**pidgerino:** and you dated shiro??

**shiro:** they dont need to know it

**mattack:** ok so like when i went to space camp shiro was like PRO and we were roomies 

**mattack:** shiro didnt date allura until like soph year idk maybe junior year

**mattack:** shiro went to space camp 8th-12th

**shiro:** YOU DIDNT ASK??

**shiro:** NO?

**Sharpshooter:** just tell shiro ur comin over my mom is already dtd

**keith.k:** sounds good ill talk to shiro and be right over

**shiro:** what the hell

**shiro:** nevermind i dont want to know.

**shiro:** they sang cupcakkes deepthroat to the entire group chat at 8 in the morning

**shiro:** i think thats a great example of our whole friend group

**shiro:** not us.

**shiro:** the rest of them

**shiro:** questionable

**shiro:** oh

**Allurable > tshirogane**

**tshirogane:** not hunk

**tshirogane:** everyone else?

**tshirogane:** shay?

**tshirogane:** what have you seen..

**tshirogane:** a brave soul

**tshirogane:** thank you

**tshirogane:** that we are

_ Is she taller than Shiro?  _

**shiro:** how long did he sleep?

**shiro:** good god keith 

**mattress:** good god shiro come back to bed

**shiro:** stop

**Sharpshooter:** I love them both but i love keith more but i admire shiro more

**shiro:** what

**shiro:** stop

**shiro:** that meme is a solid early 2017 who are you

**shiro:** where is matthew

**shiro:** pidge was rigt your meme game is weak

**shiro:** thanks for supporting him lance

**LANCES bf:** broganes stick together shiro its okay

**shiro:** lance and matt vs broganes

**shiro:** space

**shiro:** its kind of ironic in a sense because lance and i are the “aspiring pilot” pair, then theres klance.

**shiro:** matt and i are an item, and matt and keith are team anti-shiro.

**shiro:** theres broganes

**shiro:** but you and matt have nothing

**shiro:** matt and lance need something in common

**shiro:** not anymore?

**shiro:** grammar from lance?? woah!

**shiro:** anyway i mean i didnt know either. i was just good at piloting stuff so i went to school for it and did a double major just in case

**mattress:** shiro has absolutely nothing going for him except his body

**shiro:** thanks matt

**shiro:** listen,

**shiro:** i was actually pretty young. ive had it since i was 13 so im well over it by now but

**shiro:** it was in an accident and yeah thats about it

**mattack > tshirogane**

**tshirogane:** of course.

**tshirogane:** its been 10 years im mostly over it by now

**tshirogane:** positive.

**tshirogane:** the therapy works, it really does

**tshirogane:** plus theres not much detail to go into especially with keith and lance

**tshirogane:** dork

**shiro:** milkshake?

**shiro:** wow

**shiro:** also where are the girls and also hunk

**shiro:** hi hunk

**hunkaroo:** hi shiro

**Sharpshooter:** shiro im coming over because nobody is talking

**shiro:** excuse me

**LANCES bf:** shiro please

**shiro:** yknow fine wheres hunk he can come too

**shiro:** sounds great okay

**shiro:** i forgot to ask if either of you three ate but did you

**LANCES bf:** please shiro were famished

**shiro:** ok im going to the store then. please dont destroy the house @ lance

**shiro:** are you hungry or not

**hunkaroo:** WE ARE PLEASE SHIRO

**shiro:** no food for keith which means i have extra money what do you want @ lance and hunk

**shiro:** roger that ill see you guys in a bit

**keith.k > tshirogane**

**keith.k:** shiro?? where are you

**tshirogane:** im still at the store sorry

**tshirogane:** he was

**tshirogane:** and then i went to actually get snacks and food for supper

**tshirogane:** and a girl from high school came up to me and weve been talking

**tshirogane:** i put her on hold for this conversation but i cant be texting while talking to real people its rude

**keith.k:** shiro oh my god

**keith.k:** are you proud of us shiro

**tshirogane:** STOP

**tshirogane:** im at the check out just oh my god stop

**tshirogane:** ill be home in 15 minutes

**tshirogane:** maybe 20

**tshirogane:** if i see matt

**keith.k:** shiro

**tshirogane:** you sound like lance

**tshirogane:** NO,

**shiro:** okay so LANCE wanted me to tell a story to you guys

**shiro:** about my grocery shopping trip

**shiro:** so

**shiro:** i went to get food for these mongrels  because they are whining endlessly about being hungry

**shiro:** also i wanted to say hi to matt so i went

**shiro:** are right before i went to get food i was caught by this girl who used to go to school with us

**shiro:** and we say hi to each other and she goes

**shiro:** “so are you and matt holt roommates now?”

**shiro:** and since im a good guy i dont laugh

**shiro:** but i dont know How Hard it is to detect homosexuals these days for girls

**Sharpshooter:** shes in denial because you were the hot guy at school shiro its obvious

**shiro:** yeah sure ok anyway

**shiro:** i tell her he doesnt live with me and that we hang out a lot

**shiro:** she says “huh. you two post a lot of pics on insta like you have a heavy bromance going”

**shiro:** its at this point where i do not feel bad for laughing a little

**shiro:** because i say “yeah. because we are dating”

**shiro:** and her face. her jaw drops, and she stares at me for a solid 10 seconds in surprise and i just had to shrug and say “i guess it is a bromance huh?”

**shiro** : its at this point where lance steals keiths phone to text me about food

**shiro:** yes. it was

**shiro:** so after i get done telling lance off i find a way to politely tell her off and thats the end

**shiro:** also matt gets off at 7 so hes coming over too

**shiro:** yes

**shiro:** awful.

**shiro:** are you almost here?

**shiro:** ew

**shiro:** okay! :^)

Allura watched from the window seat as Shiro’s car pulled into the driveway slowly, and the headlights turning off with a mute click. 

Matt and Shiro had glanced between each other and then to Pidge and Allura respectively. 

Shiro shrugged and looking to Hunk if he had an answer.

Immediately as the word “mommy” left his mouth, Shiro was rolling over and laying on top of his boyfriend. “Shirooooo, not now… ‘Lura’s here.”

He held up two fingers to let them know just how many pizzas were permitted since the money was obviously going to come from Shiro’s wallet.

Shiro returned soon which made them all assumed he decided the pizza on his own.

Allura, of course, was the one who answered the door, and Shiro was right behind her with his wallet out.

He smiled to her and said hello, but his eyes looked to Shiro right after that. Shiro smiled and asked about the price. 

Shiro smiled toher as the group began their descent back into the basement.

**keith.k:** TELL SHIRO???

**Sharpshooter:** what if shiro gets like a flashback or something and gets mopey

**keith.k:** do you? know shiro?

**keith.k:** shiro takes matt on a date to the pizza place when lotor is working

**Sharpshooter > tshirogane**

**Sharpshooter:** SHIRO LOOK

**tshirogane:** He needs to stop hanging out with pidge

**tshirogane:** no matter how brilliant that is

**tshirogane:** also allura would not be on board??? maybe

**tshirogane:** N o

**Sharpshooter:** pls shiro

**tshirogane:** if she doesnt i will assassinate you

**tshirogane:** keith is single

**tshirogane > Allurable**

**tshirogane:** lance wants me to show you this

_ tshirogane sent 1 image _

**tshirogane:** actually??

**tshirogane:** i guess not

**tshirogane:** hold on it gets better. lance talked to keith about it first and this is what keith said about it

_ tshirogane sent 3 images. _

**tshirogane:** oh my god

**tshirogane:** why are we pranking him so much this is cruel

**tshirogane:** why are we friends

**tshirogane:** clearly

**Allurable:** I do have one request, Shiro.

**tshirogane:** which is??

**tshirogane:** STOP HANGING OUT WITH PIDGE

**tshirogane > Sharpshooter**

**tshirogane:** you were right

**tshirogane:** BUT 

**tshirogane:** no telling matt.

**tshirogane:** allura and i have a plan and matt cant know or he might mistakenly blow it and i love him too much to let him ruin this for us

**tshirogane:** boom

**tshirogane > pidgerino**

**tshirogane:** are you alive yet

**tshirogane:** nothing

**tshirogane:** do you remember the pizza place we ordered from @ alluras

**tshirogane:** i need you to somehow get hold of the employee work schedule for the next… week?

**tshirogane:** can you?

**tshirogane:** alright genius sheesh i get it

**tshirogane:** the satisfaction of rolling in the scheme allura and i just plotted

**tshirogane:** exactly

_ tshirogane added Allurable, Sharpshooter, keith.k, pidgerino to  _ **_lotor thinks allura and i are dating and we are about to mess with him a lot_ **

**pidgerino:** i like that a lot better than what shiro put

**tshirogane:** it was a preface for what is about to be explained

**tshirogane:** RULE 1: no matt

**Allurable:** And Lotor agreed because when he delivered the pizza last night, he assumed Shiro and I were an item simply because Shiro paid for the food.

**tshirogane:** in which i, who is dating allura according to lotor, take matt, my actual partner, to the pizza place where lotor works

**tshirogane:** on a date

**tshirogane:** meanwhile, lotor is freaking out, thinking im cheating on allura

**tshirogane:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**pidgerino:** anyway im here because i gave shiro lotos schedule for the next week

**Allurable:** Step 1: Ask Matthew out on a date. Shiro, if you will.

**tshirogane > mattack**

**tshirogane:** matt

**tshirogane:** when are you free

**mattack:** are you asking me on an irl date?? shiro???? takashi himself??

**tshirogane:** yes sorry this if this is odd for you but are you free on monday at 6?

**tshirogane:** ill pick you up at work. bring a change of clothes. nothing fancy just. like. not a polo and khakis please

**tshirogane:** deck yourself out

_ tshirogane sent one image. _

**tshirogane:** its lotors next shift sorry to make you wait

**tshirogane:** i cant believe youre suddenly so impatient its like talking to lance twice

**tshirogane:** i am ready to obtain the subject

**tshirogane:** thats the plan

**tshirogane:** ill let you guys know when we are seated

**Sharpshooter:** bro what if lotor calls shiro out straight up

**tshirogane:** we are seated. no sign of lotor yet

**tshirogane:** is he register??

**tshirogane:** ok cool

**tshirogane:** for a fun bonus im ordering the same meaty pizza pie we got @ alluras

**Allurable:** Shiro, you devil.

**tshirogane:** i hang out with keith who hangs out iwth pidge

**tshirogane:** it is officially time for pizza. they said itd be 20 minutes to make since it was a ~special order~ 

**tshirogane:** im like. watching the door and matt is so confused

**tshirogane:** “im hungry sorry” “bitch me to the fuck :P”

**tshirogane:** as in. :P he stuck his tongue out at me

**tshirogane:** JSJFLJFj

**tshirogane:** abort he made eye contact with me, squinted, and shook his head

**tshirogane:** a disappointed dad look from a guy younger than me

**tshirogane:** I GIVE THAT LOOK

_ tshirogane sent a video _

**Sharpshooter:** WHAT WAS THE TIP SHIRO SHROIS RHIOS

_ tshirogane sent one image _

**tshirogane:** i am

**tshirogane:** matt is so confused

**tshirogane:** i told him “dont worry. hes a pal”

**tshirogane:** HE KNOWS LOTOR WHY IS HE SO?

**pidgerino:** matt forgets like everything shiro ples

**tshirogane:** were done bc small pizza

**tshirogane:** going in for the kiss while lotor is out here

**tshirogane:** “some people.”

**tshirogane:** i dont think he knows i heard him say that

_ tshirogane removed pidgerino _

**Sharpshooter:** Shiro does a good deed part 1

**tshirogane:** its what she deserves

**Sharpshooter:** Shiro does a good meme, the sequel

**mattress:** when shiro takes u on a date uwu

**mattress:** @ shiro tell them about our date and how cute i was

**shiro:** you wore sweatpants, a nasa hoodie, and had a butterfly clip in your hair.

**shiro:** is that what you call cute??

**mattack > tshirogane**

**mattack:** what the fuck takashi

**mattack > tshirogane**

**tshirogane:** woah hi whats up

**mattack:** like actually because he doesnt sound like hes joking and i want to think youre a good boy shiro pls

**tshirogane:** he doesnt know the whole story

**tshirogane:** listen listen dont go overboard hold on

**mattack:** s hiro

**tshirogane:** matt

**mattack:** shiro ur freakin me out here

**tshirogane:** dont be just.

**tshirogane:** do you have time for the longest story ever?

**tshirogane:** perfect.

**shiro:** plan backfired. well get him next time guys

**LANCES bf:** TLDR shiro is cheating on allura with matt according to lotor

**shiro:** i was thinking about that actually

**shiro:** i almost think the jig should stop

**Allurable:** Shiro, I agree completely, but we have to do this properly.

**shiro:** of course. we arent cowards

**Allurable > tshirogane**

**tshirogane:** casually breaking the news

**tshirogane:** nah

**Allurable:** Shiro, I think you need to clarify something.

**tshirogane:** yeah. probably

**tshirogane:** im dating matt

**tshirogane:** you and i were never dating and we are cruel people

**Allurable:** I talked to Shiro.

**Sharpshooter:** arent matt and shiro childhood friends

**pidgerino:** are you questioning shiro rn

**pidgerino:** if shiro has a dating app on his cellular phone i will give you my entire savings account balance

**pidgerino:** matt thinks shiros cheating on him because of that prank on lotor so u should check shiros phone for dating apps thanks his mental stability relies on it so pls provide answers

**tshirogane > pidgerino**

**tshirogane:** the answer is no

**pidgerino:** ily bro ur fine shiros a good Kid

**Scoot:** and hes like. HELLA afraid shiro is getting, quoth the holt, moist puss

**tshirogane > pidgerino**

**tshirogane:** did i miss something?? what was that about?

**tshirogane:** what

**tshirogane:** what?

**tshirogane:** ….okay

**tshirogane > mattack**

**tshirogane:** matt

**tshirogane:** pidge said you know what this is about

**tshirogane:** and that she cant say even though it was a text to her phone idk

_ tshirogane sent one image _

**tshirogane:** also you need to get up you have work at 9

_ One missed call from tshirogane 8:20 _

**mattack:** jesus shiro

**tshirogane:** good morning

**tshirogane:** i love you too

**tshirogane:** but do you mind explaining the message i have no recollection of sending to pidge??

**mattack:** ok well yknow the prank yall pulled on lotor yeah that got me Fcuked ™ so i talked to pidge like yo fuck im freakin out shiro can get Pussy as he Desires because hes HOT and im NOT and fuck what if he IS ™ and you should have keith check shiros phone for tinder and she was POd with me over it but she got keith to check it and i think he texted her from your phone when he checked for grindr just to assure pidge that he did check your phone also you might wanna change your passcode because keith knows it

**tshirogane:** hold on hold on what

**tshirogane:** matt hold on what

**tshirogane:** before that

**tshirogane:** did you actually think i would cheat on you??

**tshirogane:** i hate to say this to you bu

**tshirogane:** you are actually stupid for thinking that

**tshirogane:** call in sick to work right now go go go im putting on shoes and coming to get you

**mattack:** sHS RIO

**tshirogane:** you cant say no or ill call sam

**mattack:** omfg shiro

**tshirogane:** WE NEED TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER MORE

**tshirogane:** without kids

**tshirogane:** alone time but not alone time ™ just. alone time together

**tshirogane:** sure

**tshirogane:** go call into work boot boy

**tshirogane:** FINALLY

**tshirogane:** ok im coming to get you too so be ready asap

**tshirogane:** what are you wearing right now

**mattack:** shiro please,,,, its jesus day we cant sext

**tshirogane:** Matt

**mattack:** sweatpants and a tshiro

**tshirogane:** TSHIRO

**tshirogane:** put on a hoodie and some shoes youre good to go we arent leaving my house so go

**tshirogane:** call work before its too late

**tshirogane:** i love you too 

_ shiro changed their name to tshiro _

**tshiro:** nah

**tshiro:** im good like this

**balmerina:** how the heck does tshiro come up in a conversation

**tshiro:** STOP 

**LANCES bf:** i get a feeling that you shouldnt quesiton them. like. were at school and shiro and matt are being weird? somethings up

**pidgerino:** and shiro

**pidgerino:** because if shiro isnt here he cant add matt which is truly what ive always wanted in life

**keith.k > tshirogane**

**tshirogane:** uhhhh gimme a sec

**tshirogane:** yeah you can come home if you want

**tshirogane:** unless you actually want to hang out with people because you can always do that

**tshirogane:** you dont have to play innocent bystander at have me command you to hang out with them

**tshirogane:** you can just ask

**tshirogane:** alright

**tshirogane:** after school or a little later?

**tshirogane:** sounds good

**tshirogane:** see you whenever you show up kid

**tshirogane:** im 24

**tshirogane:** maybe so

**Sharpshooter:** do you know when shiro has a day off and also when you are free on the Same Day

**keith.k:** youd have to ask shiro

**Sharpshooter > tshirogane**

**tshirogane:** thursday but

**tshirogane:** i was gonna hang out with matt

**tshirogane:** excuse me

**tshirogane:** LANCE MCCLAIN

**tshirogane:** Go to Class Lance

**tshirogane:** im cancelling a date for this so it better be worth it

**hunkaroo:** shiro

**tshirogane:** ok ok fine

**keith.k:** shiro you will die

**keith.k:** it was a pleasure moan shiro

**tshiro:** thanks for that lance

**tshiro:** excuse me

He was positive that Keith and Shiro would show up first. That’s because Lance warned Shiro his mom would want to talk to him so arriving earlier would end up not prolonging supper.

“Evening, Lance,” Shiro smiled, peeking inside of the house. 

“Sup Shiro,” he stepped aside and let Shiro enter the home, stopping Keith at the door with an arm. 

The two watched the horrifyingly pleasant greeting that Shiro made with Lance’s mother. 

Shiro was a people pleasure by nature, but this was a whole new universe they were stepping into. Shiro’s demeanor charmed Lance’s younger sister and she was actually holding onto him. 

As Shiro and Lance’s mother talking, his sister attached to the guy, Lance lead Keith into his bedroom.

In the suddenly open doorway was now Shiro and Lance’s mother.

“Don’t be trying anything on my watch,” Shiro warned, looking down at Lance.

Keith, of course, looked down to Lance as he answered because Shiro was terrifying when provoked. Nobody wanted a provoked Shiro. 

Lance gasped at the sudden betrayal by the elder Holt who was nonchalantly making his way to Shiro’s side. 

What made it worse is that Pidge joined her own brother at Shiro’s side.

Shiro’s head snapped to look at his cousin along with everybody else.

Shiro also received a hardy amount of tal from his mother. 

It was like Shiro was catering to his own mother just to look good. Matt would crack a joke and Shiro would smile, bite his lip in order to not burst out laughing, and then go back to eating so he wouldn’t ruin it. Why must Shiro be such a professional?

And with that, Keith was gone, out the door and back in Shiro’s car. 

**keith.k:** idk ask shiro

**Sharpshooter > tshirogane**

**tshirogane:** well he could never say his name properly. he called himself keef

**tshirogane:** i believe his mother called him Ki too

**tshirogane:** its korean for something i dont remember

**tshirogane:** LANCE JESUS

**balmerina:** matt and shiro are like that too???

_ Allurable added tshirogane, mattack  _ **_A proposal_ **

**tshirogane:** thats a good point?? why dont we

**tshirogane:** we were all friends in high school and everything

**tshirogane:** we do

**Allurable:** shiro when is keith absent

**tshirogane:** so its at my house

**mattack:** shiro ur funnnie

**tshirogane:** i was thinking alluras since it was her idea

**tshirogane:** the times we arent at your house its at mine

**tshirogane:** sam can join us

**tshirogane:** good point ok well

**tshirogane:** school days or i can kick him out on a weekend if i have to

**tshirogane:** okay so name a time and ill make sure keith is gone?

**tshirogane:** its a day then!

**mattack > tshirogane**

**tshirogane:** matt

**tshirogane:** Matt

**tshirogane:** oh my god   
**tshirogane:** what does any of that mean

**tshirogane:** jesus christ keith is here?

**tshirogane:** YOU ARE SO

**tshirogane:** and Evil

**tshirogane:** me

**tshirogane:** yeah

**tshirogane:** but who gets tomorrow morning

**tshirogane:** see you soon

**tshirogane > Allurable**

**tshirogane:** just so i have the door open when are you planning on arriving?

**tshirogane:** right i forgot you commute to school every day

**tshirogane:** sounds good ill see you before noon??

**tshirogane:** matt will probably arrive before you then

**tshirogane:** allura

**tshiro:** WHAT IS THAT

**tshiro:** areyou killing things??

**tshiro:** pidge

**tshiro:** why are you doing this

**tshiro:** oh my god

**tshiro:** oh my god

**mattress:** wild 

**tshiro:** wait isnt hunk is ap chem

**tshiro:** thank god

**tshiro:** you guys are supposed to be in class

**tshiro:** even lance hasnt spoken yet

**tshiro:** shoo!!

**tshiro:** i  am 

**tshiro:** disappointed

**tshiro:** stop

**keith.k > tshirogane**

**keith.k:** shiro can i come home yet

**tshirogane:** yeah ill pick you up im driving matt to work and alluras in the back seat

**tshirogane:** were at the light

**Allurable:** Shiro said we’re picking you up first. Then Matthew. Then me.

**keith.k:** being in a room with matt and shiro

**Allurable:** Except for when Matt tried to tackle Shiro only to be slammed onto the sofa while yelling “You still have the boot on until Wednesday!”

**keith.k:** shiro doing things? incredible

**LANCES bf:** was ur breakup with shiro like. that scene between zac efron and vanessa carlton in high school musical

**tshiro:** i cannot believe this is what i log in to see

**Furry:** SEE like shiro dropped him off at my place and keith was all “him and matt wanna fuck its gross” and i sympathize with him yeah like im a good guy 

**Furry:** and then he forgets clothes. pjs and for the next day. like he was spending the night at my place so shiro and matt could fiddle their goddamn diddles

**Furry:** we pull up to brogane central and keith goes in alone, blind, praying the whole way there that theyre in shiros room so they dont even know he was there

**Furry:** like wtf keiths freaking me out and he told me “YO ont tell anybody about matt and shiro ill die”

**tshiro:** oh my god you got it on video thank you

**pidgerino:** o shiro how ya doin with colleen and house hunters international

**tshiro:** fantastic this couple is clearly not meant to become homeowners together

**tshiro:** no we both agreed that im ready. matt, however, will never be ready

**tshiro:** she said her children will forever live with her and that “katie is never allowed to leave for college. my babies will stay with me until i die”

**tshiro:** she jsut came in to complain to her mom.

**tshiro:** its what she deserves

**tshiro:** she said you cant move out and in with me once keith goes to college with lance inevitably

**hunkaroo:** is shiro best friends with sam and colleen like seriously

**pidgerino:** matt got called out during supper for playing with his food to which keith said “thats not the only thing” to which dad said “what else does he” to which he immediately realized. stopped talking. looked at shiro. and then proceeded to cautiously say “what else does he play with takashi”

**pidgerino:** shiro looked at keith and then matt and then dad and he said “beats me. i hardly spend enough time with him to see him outside of work”

**pidgerino:** shiro got out unscathed.

**pidgerino:** @ shiro and keith if you hear yelling in strange tongues its italian dont be alarmed i will translate to the best of my abilities for you on here

**pidgerino:** has matt gotten tested? shiro have you been tested? im concerned i dont want to live with stds

**pidgerino:** “i swear to god shiro even BROUGHT him to lances house and then he APPEARED we had no idea he was coming” “how do you not know isnt shiro keiths guardian?” “yes and no? i dont know”

**pidgerino:** shiro is now being called. hes taking the walk of shame.

**pidgerino:** keith you just ruined my dads perfect vision of shiro i cant breathe

**pidgerino:** also shiro just made the throat slitting motion as he walked past me. i dont think he likes that i exposed their sex from a few days ago to all of you

**tshiro:** icannot believe this is ahppening right now

**tshiro:** hes not disappointed in us be hes disappointed that we exposed keith to this behavior AS IF KEITH HIMSELF ISNT GAY

**tshiro:** PIDGE NO

**tshiro:** SHAY WHY

**pidgerino:** yall know how dad teaches at the college matt n shiro went to?

**LANCES bf:** can we appreciate that takashi shirogane has been through 2 life impacting car crashes and still takes time out of his life to drive us all places even though he

**tshiro:** keith

**tshiro:** watch it keith

**keith.k:** unless shiro does first you hear me

**keith.k:** ok well shiro like. freaks out a lot when he has to drive longer distances

**Sharpshooter:** shiro has more balls than all of us combined

**tshiro:** nice game

**mattack > tshirogane**

**tshirogane:** matt

**tshirogane:** yeah

**tshirogane:** almost did but. i mean hes gonna tell lance. but

**tshirogane:** what can i do

**tshirogane:** what

**tshirogane:** give me a sec i have to put on a shirt

_ tshiro added mattack to the chat _

**pidgerino:** SHIRO YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE GOD DAMMIT IM GOING TO INHALE YOUR LEFT ARM

**tshiro:** its time for pidge to go to sleep its past her bed time goodnight pidge sleep well 

**tshiro:** bed time is good for you

**tshiro:** thats my opinion

**tshiro:** what

**tshiro:** its time for the teens to go to sleep goodnight

**tshiro:** why on earth would you ever

**tshiro:** go to bed!!! change your alarm so you wake up at 6:30 instead of 5!

**tshiro:** nonsense. buffoonery. waking up at 5 in the morning…. sheesh

**Allurable:** And yet you are dating Shiro who is very calculated and organized.

**Allurable:** Shiro and I are too alike and, whether we’d like to admit or not, a bit selfish in a sense. We didn’t dedicate as much time as we could’ve into our relationship.

**Allurable:** You force him into it. It’s good for both of you. Pull Shiro’s head from his ass.

**mattack:** pull shiros head rom my ass got it

**tshiro:** hunk go to class??

**tshiro:** pidge you better have lunch right now

**tshiro:** kick her out

**pidgerino:** good morning where are the girls i have a question. shiro can also answer i guess

**pidgerino:** anyway im pidge. u know allura and lance. and shiro already. do u know matt? dont talk to matt hes weird.

**keith.k:** no its a shiro call out

**hunkindonuts:** but shiro isnt telling you these things so its putting you off?

**hunkindonuts:** still about shiro?

**keith.k:** during that time after shiro broke up with allura before he was with matt

**keith.k:** but now that hes with matt they spend so much time together that i dont get to hardly ever spend time with shiro unless matts at work AND im not at school

**hunkindonuts:** as cool as shiro is i dont think he can read minds

**hunkindonuts:** say “hey shiro”

**hunkindonuts:** shiros a nice guy. you know that the most of all of us.

**hunkindonuts:** if shiro goes batshit on you then i vow to you one favor of any degree (other than illegal) that i will do for you

**Snoot:** oh hes talking to shiro

**keith.k:** well i talked to shiro

**tshiro:** youre texting

**tshiro:** ITS THE WEEKEND

**tshiro:** good night

**tshiro:** WHY ARE YOU ALL AWAKE

**tshiro:** oh understandable have a nice day

**tshiro:** you are all crazy

**tshiro:** THAT

**tshiro:** THAT RIGHT THERE IS WHY I SAID THAT

**tshiro:** Allura I thought you were on a different level than this

**Allurable:** I am basically a teenager, Shiro. I don’t know what you expected.

**tshiro:** good point this is all cancelled go home go to bed what tiem is it

**tshiro:** you just used the word smartness

**tshiro:** what a genius wow

**tshiro:** im impressed its kind of turning me on

**mattress:** you get off on this body dont even act like its a joke anymore takashi

**tshiro:** stop

**tshiro:** but i know yours too?

**tshiro:** are you all going to prom?

**tshiro:** right i forgot kids do that stuff

**tshiro:** yeah and

**tshiro:** im 25

**tshiro:** awful all 4 of you

**balmerina:** ty shiro

**tshiro:** you deserve it

**pidgerino:** fuck you shiro

**hunkindonuts:** she asked about prom and it came down to “fuck you shiro”

**tshiro:** you do?

**tshiro:** i am so sorry

**Allurable:** Long version or condensed, Shiro?

**tshiro:** condensed pleas

**tshiro:** she doesnt deserve to know everything

**Allurable:** Shiro, being a boy, takes about 3 and a half minutes including the time it took to put his suit on.

**tshiro:** not true my hair took an HOUR

**Allurable:** Shiro, a gentleman of his time, attempted to shut down the conversation.

**Allurable:** Embarrassed, Shiro exists the facility.

**Allurable:** In attempt to pull out his ID, Shiro, being an utter fool (nothing has changed since), drops his wallet.

**pidgerino:** I CANNOT BELIEVE U SHIRO

**tshiro:** at least i ? did? think ahead?

**tshiro:** and after that it did not happen at all

**tshiro:** it was a Thing back then

**tshiro:** matt can you confirm getting laid on prom was a thing

**tshiro:** i felt bad so i just let you do what you wanted

**tshiro:** i date him

**tshiro:** lay a hand on keith and you will inevitably never see him again

**LANCES bf:** i wont shiro its okay

**Sharpshooter:** tbh i was joking just to yank shiros chain too

**keith.k:** prank matt and shiro

**pidgerino:** prank shiro and matt

**tshiro:** katie anne holt

**pidgerino:** srry i passed out whats up shiro

**tshiro:** my ex girlfriend is dating my boyfriends younger sister

**tshiro:** yeah

**Allurable:** I have also talked to Coran and my father so they know as well. Just in case Shiro calls.

**Allurable:** Speaking of Shiro…

**mattack:** shiro hasnt talked to me all day

**mattack:** deadass kid dont make shiro sad pls

**mattack:** not until shiro puts in his 2 cents omfg plesase

**mattress:** @tshiro wake up sleepy head

**tshiro:** matt

**mattress:** good morning honey

**tshiro:** its 9 at night

**tshiro:** no

**tshiro:** coexisting with the fact that my boyfriends younger sister is dating my ex girlfriend

**tshiro:** well its true

**tshiro:** i dont hate it its just weird to think about

**tshiro:** matt im going to punch you in the testicle

**tshiro:** sorry pidge and allura

**tshiro:** pidge i will punch you in the throat

**tshiro:** keith i will punch you in the throat

**hunkindonuts:** keith and shiro are the same person sometimes

**Allurable:** I don’t think Shiro will kill us.

**tshiro:** keith i just wanna know

**tshiro:** dont blame pidge for what you did

**tshiro:** dont make me get it out

**LANCES bf:** shi ro

**tshiro:** keith

**tshiro:** say goodbye to keith everybody

**mattress:** pidge literally woke me up saying shiro killed keith so yeah

**mattack:** probably phoneless but shiro didnt kill him

**mattack:** also shiros hot when hes peeved so im on my way

**Sharpshooter:** STOP BEING KNKKY IN MY DMS IM TELLING SHIRO

**Sharpshooter > tshirogane**

**mattack:** keith is fine yall shiro just snatched it until the weekend

**tshiro:** go to bed

**Sharpshooter:** shiro make him eat breakfast if u read these

**mattress:** no this isnt the joke i dont remember it but i DID remember a high school story that i wanna tell about shiro and allura

**mattress:** chill its when shiro and i were a thing

**mattress:** u were trying to get shiro to hit on me and he refused

**mattress:** SHIRO WAS SO DISTRESSED THAT HE CAME OVER AND BLURTED “can i get in your pants”

**Allurable:** I was asked about if I was going to date Shiro for weeks after that. It was the most annoying weeks of my life.

**Allurable:** I got so tired of it that I just yelled “Shiro is a SLEAZE” in the cafeteria and everybody heard it.

_ mattress changed tshiro ‘s name to sleaze _

**balmerina:** someday shiro will kill you all

**balmerina:** shiro hunk me and pidge because nobody would ever hurt her when it comes down to it

**balmerina:** debatable upon shiros request

**Sharpshooter:** shiro give keith his phone i wanna tell him i love him

**Sharpshooter:** omg shiro…….. thats embarrassing

**Sharpshooter:** shiro! omg…..

**LANCES bf:** lance i have my phone shiro gave it back earlier today

_ sleaze changed their name to tshirogane _

**Sharpshooter:** no fun shiro

**LANCES bf:** no fun shiro

**pidgerino:** no fun shiro

**tshirogane:** touch my yard and keith doesnt have a phone anymore

**tshirogane:** im watching out the window all day

**LANCES bf:** no fun shiro

**pidgerino:** its funny because shiro would treasure it if keith did it

**pidgerino:** if keith does anything shiro gets all soft and mushy

**tshirogane:** how do you know

**tshirogane:** yeah

**tshirogane:** is that wrong?

**tshirogane:** is that wrong?

**tshirogane:** you think sam and colleen dont have stuff from you?

**tshirogane:** ask them not me

**tshirogane:** nothing relevant

**tshirogane:** pidge is coming, ive already talked to sam and colleen about stealing her

**tshirogane:** support your friends or they wont come to yours

**tshirogane:** but are any of you talking? i know youre not vals but sometimes they break rules for certain kids

**tshirogane:** i prefer hunk and shay

**tshirogane:** who said i was gonna marry matt

**tshirogane:** matt

**tshirogane > Allurable**

**tshirogane:** would you rather talk to sam or colleen

**tshirogane:** here’s their home phone, those two never answer it

**Allurable:** It’s the least I can do provided I pretending to be in a relationship with your parent’s daughter just to mess with Shiro and co

**pidgerino:** but mostly shiro

**Allurable:** Mostly Shiro.

**mattress:** just shiro dont lie

**Allurable:** Just no fun Shiro.

**tshirogane:** my boyfriend dines with my ex

**Allurable:** Give it up, Shiro; we are friends.

**tshirogane:** I GAVE IT UP

**LANCES bf:** shiro what

**tshirogane:** ill tell you when youre older! :)

**LANCES bf:** im coming in shiro!!! PUT UR PANTS ON!!!!!!

**tshirogane:** IVE HAD MY PANTS ON DONT GIVE THEM IDEAS

**pidgerino:** bye shiro it was nice knowing you

**keith.k > tshirogane**

**tshirogane > keith.k**

 

**tshirogane:** keith 

**keith.k:** shiro

**tshirogane:** bring me the box

**tshirogane:** were about to go over that

**tshirogane:** irrelevant

**keith.k:** amazing shiro truly

**tshirogane:** just get out here

The cautious way the Keith held the box out to Shiro showed a thousand more emotions than his face. Shiro offered him a sympathetic smile to ease him, but it didn’t seem to work because Keith only sighed shakily. 

And with that, Shiro stood up and went outside, taking the box with him.

He was nervous, and then Shiro ruined the moment and went to make a  _ phone call? _

It was tiny, sure, no bigger than a deodorant stick, but had it always been on Shiro’s bedside table? 

Before he had a chance to ponder coming across it during escapades, Shiro re-entered the house and sat back down.

Shiro shrugged, leaving Keith in wonder.  _ What do you mean  _ who _? This isn’t a time for riddles, Shiro. _

Would it be breaking Shiro’s trust if he looked?

As if Shiro just appeared behind him to yell, Keith snapped the box shut again.

Before Shiro  _ could _ walk in, he set the box gently back where it was and whipped out his phone.

**keith.k:** shiro has a box with my name on it and inside is a phone number ththat is connected to ‘Mom’.

**pidgerino:** matt: that shiro cant handle other peoples happiness?

**Sharpshooter:** wtf shiro is a local cryptid rn why dont you ask him

**keith.k:** listen. i found the box and shiro was like “lol have a seat” and then he GOT BACK UP

**Sharpshooter:** i dont think? that shiro would call if it was a killer BUT tell me how it goes 

**keith.k:** im gonna beat shiros ass

**keith.k:** shiro doesnt have a

**keith.k:** Stop making jokes about shiros arms its weird when hes my cousin and youre my boyfriend

**Furry:** shiro and him are having a serious moment and keith has no idea whats going on

**Furry:** popular suspicion says shiros

**Furry:** because hes never met shiros parents

**Furry:** its why he lives with shiro in the first place and Not In Texas™

**Scoot:** if its shiros mom why doesnt he see her more often

**Scoot:** most kids see their moms a lot. especially somebody like shiro.

**Furry:** and if its shiros mom you will give me 20$

**tshirogane:** would you kids get off your phones the ceremony starts in almost an hour and you all have to line up. talk to your classmates for the last time will ya

**Allurable:** Shiro get off your phone or I WILL take it.

**Allurable:** Off phones. All of you. I already confiscated Matt and Shiro’s. I will come get yours. I don’t care if you’re graduating today.

**keith.k:** im with shiro

**hunkindonuts:** keith can you ask shiro i we can all meet at casa el brogane tonight? we can all hang out then instead of worry about finding each other in 400 kids!

**keith.k:** shiro said be there around 8

**Sharpshooter:** have fun with shiro keith  <3

**tshirogane:** so are you all coming over or are there exclusions?

**tshirogane:** great

**tshirogane:** not in a sarcastic way

**tshirogane:** anyway just feel free to show up when you get here, no need to knock, Keith is there, I’m getting snacks since you all eat like animals

**tshirogane:** got it. chips, dip, and drinks it is

**tshirogane:** make him beg for it

**tshirogane:** thank you. tell him i got it.

**tshirogane:** sounds good. lance hunk and shay are already here so just come right on in

**tshirogane:** AND YOU DIDNT CALL

**tshirogane:** well??? what is it

**tshirogane:** matt oh my god

**mattress:** shiro oh my god

**tshirogane:** thats. awesome.

**tshirogane:** please let him have at least a week lance

**tshirogane:** matts embarrassed to say this but hes wanted a job there since like. middle school.

**mattress:** SHIRO

**tshirogane:** its true?

**tshirogane:** yeah but now that youre working there i think im content with getting a real job instead of in retail

**tshirogane:** someday

**tshirogane:** no im glad you work there

**mattack > tshirogane**

**tshirogane:** yup

**pidgerino:** hey shiro and matt and lance why are you watching friends at 2 am

**tshirogane:** its almost. funny. that were ALL bi.

**tshirogane:** is anybody in the group ACTUALLY GAY OR STRIAGHT

**tshirogane:** hey what

**tshirogane:** are you gay or straight

**hunkindonuts:** WELL I MEAN YOU GOT ME SHAY, MY GIRLFRIEND, IS JUST A HUGE COVERUP FOR MY RAGING HOMOSEXUALITY SHIRO

**tshirogane:** if orgot

**tshirogane:** its almost weird.

**mattress:** U WERENT SUPPOSED TO TELL THAT STORY NOW SHIRO KNOWS THE REASON

**tshirogane:** you drank Spoiled Milk

**tshirogane:** you told me you had nausea from being your unhealthy self

**tshirogane:** WELL HE DRANK SPOILED MILK

**tshirogane:** i used to chase him and i knew he could only go so far without stopping

**mattress:** WAS NOT FUN SHIRO

**tshirogane:** that was not that bad

**mattress:** shiro pls……….. you chase me everywhere and it hurts

**tshirogane:** im sorry

**Allurable:** One time in high school after a competition, I watched Shiro chase Matt around the school at 1 in the morning because Matt wanted to repay him the 4$ Shiro used to buy him concession stand dinner

**tshirogane:** you remember that

**tshirogane:** why

**Allurable:** Because he screamed at you “SHIRO I DONT WANT MY MONEY BACK” like a 6 year old child.

**tshirogane:** what do you mean yet

**Allurable > tshirogane**

**Allurable:** marry him shiro

**tshirogane:** allura its barely been any time we cant just

**tshirogane:** what

**tshirogane:** i dont know

**tshirogane:** about a year and a half?

**tshirogane:** i dont know

**Allurable:** shiro?

**tshirogane:** i dont know

**tshirogane > Allurable**

**tshirogane:** yes

**Sharpshooter:** i trust yall got the invites and my sexy senior pics are on ur fridge especially keith and shiro ;)

**pidgerino:** also are we ignoring that shiro and my bro are avoiding their marriage

**Sharpshooter:** today is my day fuck u matt and shiro

**tshirogane:** keith suddenly cant go to your graduation party lance

**tshirogane:** im kidding

**tshirogane:** me, keith, matt, pidge and hunk are all on our way lance

**tshirogane:** im pulling over we might be late

**tshirogane:** IM NICE OKAY

**Allurable:** Shiro and Matt established it.

**Allurable:** Shiro always gets a practical gift that you will use in your near future (ie, shelves, a fan, etc) and Keith slaps his name on the card.

**tshirogane:** matt and i were the worst. it was just 2 friend gifts.

**tshirogane:** you guys get a pile of presents and we got.

**tshirogane:** what did i even get i dont know

**pidgerino:** when r u proposing to shiro

**mattack:** i think hunk keith and lance are all going where shiro and i went

**Scoot:** I SOFTLY DEMANDED HE AND SHIRO MOVE IN TOGETHER AND HES TOO MUCH OF A WIMP TO ASK SHIRO ABOUT IT

**Scoot:** as if shiro would say no

**pidgerino:** I HATE TO BE THE ONE CALLING THEM OUT BUT WHERE THE HELL ARE MATT AND SHIRO KSAKKFJD ALLURA HAD TO PICK ME UP AND SHE WAS “late” BECAUSE OF IT

**pidgerino:** skksfkksf matts a pussy bitch and would never ask shiro so unLESS shiro is about to propose there are no wedding bells

**tshirogane:** is everybody online?

_ tshirogane has started a video call [11:35] _

Shiro waited patiently for the others to answer the call, watching as icon after icon flashed on his screen to let him know they were picking up.

“Shiro, you’re scaring us.” 

Shiro tugged him back up, getting a small laugh from the collective.

“Anyway, on a more realistic note,” Shiro started, his arm moving in what one could only assume to be him grabbing hold of Matt….’s hand? 

_ tshirogane has ended the video call [12:21] _

**tshirogane:** since you keith and hunk are going to college in the fall, not much is happening with him. his room and stuff will all stay the same except for what he takes with him to his dorm???

**tshirogane:** and whatever matt wants moved here, were gonna find a place for in closets, my room, wherever it should go

**tshirogane:** its not like we need a third room

**tshirogane:** oh my god what have i done

**tshirogane:** thanks allura. well call you if we need anything. we also have pidge, though.

**tshirogane:** anyway. weve planned out all the furniture-stuff matts bringing and have been slowly clearing space for that

**tshirogane:** that depends

**tshirogane:** keiths gaduation party is in a few days because im making him have one

**tshirogane:** i mean well probably be able to have a small “welcome to the broganes, matt” party

**tshirogane:** yeah

**tshirogane:** matts in charge of packing all his stuff up

**tshirogane:** he knows the deadline. whatever isnt packed by then doesnt come with

**Allurable:** Harsh. Just like you, Shiro.

**mattress:** anyway shiro and i are going shopping

**tshirogane:** you asked me this last night

**tshirogane:** joey is a funny and relatable guy

**tshirogane:** please dont get into this again. keep packing

**tshirogane:** hwat

**Scoot:** shiro? done

**Allurable:** did matt and shiro ever decide on what they were getting?

**LANCES bf:** NO and theyve been going on about it EVERY TIME MATTS HERE and i just wanna punch shiro

**pidgerino:** PROBABLy shiros a dad and matts a LOSER

**tshirogane:** i am Right Here Keith

**tshirogane:** anyway

**tshirogane:** that antique store idea doesnt sound too bad. we havent gone to thrift stores or anything like that yet

**tshirogane:** ill talk to him about it once hes all moved in

**tshirogane:** or rather as hes moving in

**tshirogane:** it depends on what we get and where it goes anyway

**Snoot:** he and shiro both probably use bing

**tshirogane:** hunk thats great

**tshirogane:** i hope she gets home early enough to get a good night sleep since keith’s graduation party is tomorrow :)

**tshirogane:** no its ok neither of us have really warned anybody because most of the guests are here or have children who are here

**tshirogane:** yeah

**tshirogane:** the guest list is mostly you guys

**tshirogane:** oh no

**tshirogane:** i invited a couple people other than you guys too dont feel bad

**tshirogane:** is nothing sacred anymore?

**mattress:** shiro honey

**tshirogane:** get packing curbside college student mattress

**tshirogane:** keith took my phone what

**tshirogane:** nOTHING IS SACRED

_ pidgerino has added tshirogane, keith.k, Allurable, mattack, hunkindonuts, balmerina to  _ **_anti-lance party_ **

**tshirogane:** this is sacred

**tshirogane:** pidge

**tshirogane:** now its sacred

**tshirogane:** sacred

**tshirogane:** sacred

_ pidgerino has removed tshirogane from the chat _

**tshirogane:** i heard annoying keith and i logged in

**pidgerino:** SKKSKDKFK SHIRO 

**tshirogane:** actually i logged in to tell you all to be here around noon

**tshirogane:** keith said the sooner it gets done the better so we get to start it earlier :)

**tshirogane:** you dont

**Allurable:** Just let Shiro be there.

**Sharpshooter:** why the fuck did shiro hide this from him??

**LANCES bf:** matt and shiro are fighting   
**balmerina:** and shiro said “maybe you should hang yourself int he closet”

**Allurable:** As if Shiro isn’t already one of them.

**tshirogane:** Why must is be send nudes?

**mattack:** send nudes shiro ;)

**tshirogane:** Matthew.

**tshirogane:** hey lotor welcome back

**lotor.daibazaal:** Thank you shiro

**tshirogane:** how was your date with allura?

**tshirogane:** im glad you two are getting it all worked out

**tshirogane:** lance stop giving him a hard time

**tshirogane:** hes always talking to lance

**tshirogane:** got my lil bro hooked on snapchat

**tshirogane:** a handful? yes

**tshirogane:** do we all love each other too much? yeah

**tshirogane:** do i regret it? often

**tshirogane:** yeah thats the holts

**tshirogane:** no?

**tshirogane:** good thing im not planning to propose any time soon

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what can i say except ur welcome
> 
> im just an ordinary palaguy


	92. this is to make up for yesterday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tshirogane: ALLURA
> 
> tshirogane: BOLD OF YOU TO TELL ME IM A HOLT

_ 11:45 _

**take me to church**

 

**tshirogane:** ALSO

**LANCES bf:** what just happened

**tshirogane:** BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME

**Allurable:** I’ve done it now.

**LANCES bf:** hes scaring me and i live with him for like. another week

**tshirogane:** oh my god youre leaving me

**tshirogane:** i feel so old

**tshirogane:** keith this isnt okay

**Allurable:** Are you okay, Shiro?

**tshirogane:** this is matt

**tshirogane:** he wanted to talk but the man has -18 motor skills right now

**LANCES bf:** IS THAT WHAT YOURE DOING

**LANCES bf:** youre drinking oh my goodness

**tshirogane:** shiro is drinking i am making sure he survives and now hes upset ur gonig to college

**LANCES bf:** tell him im sorry

**tshirogane:** apology accept i love you keith

**tshirogane:** oh shit lmao hes reading up

**tshirogane:** ALLURA

**tshirogane:** BOLD OF YOU TO TELL ME IM A HOLT

**tshirogane:** I cant be a holt im

**tshirogane:** im the top

**tshirogane:** hes gonna be a shirogane

**tshirogane:** oh my go d help me hes talking about how hes gonna propose to me i have to go wheres keith

**tshirogane:** allura make him change his plans omfg

**Allurable:** I will talk to him tomorrow

**LANCES bf:** omw dont panic hes wasted 

**tshirogane:** yo he never gets drunk like he looked at me tonight and said “im doing it tonight” and i was like ??? and he pulled out some weird mixed drink and took a swig and i yelled

**LANCES bf:** THATS

**LANCES bf:** incredible

**Sharpshooter:** yO GGROUP CALL LET SHIRO TALK

**Allurable:** Ill advised. Matt has Shiro’s phone for a reason.

**tshirogane:** i have it so he doesnt like text his job and say “fuck u”

 

_ Sharpshooter has started a call [12:09] _

 

_ Sharpshooter has ended the call [2:16] _

 

**Sharpshooter:** goodnight shiro lmfao

**mattress:** im screaming

**LANCES bf:** how much did he have????

**mattress:** idk. depends how much he added with that fucking juice

**Sharpshooter:** ??

**mattress:** i dont drink lmao also @ EVERYBODY HERE dont drink until you are of age

**mattress:** if u do @ lance probably

**mattress:** be safe because holy shit shiro would probably start bar fights

**Allurable:** Why did he want to go swimming?

**mattress:** he spilled on himself and then yelled I WANNA GO SWIMMING

**LANCES bf:** did you not hear us screaming

**Allurable:** I did. I was looking for a cause.

**Sharpshooter:** im so glad i dont sleep

**Sharpshooter:** pidge is gonna hate us for leaving her out of this

**Allurable:** Sleep is for the weak.

**LANCES bf:** preach it sister

**Sharpshooter:** thats the gayest thingyouve ever said ever

 

_ 1:48 _

**tshirogane > Allurable**

 

**tshirogane:** i just woke up and im dying 

**Allurable:** Good afternoon, Shiro.

**tshirogane:** i read up because matt said i needed to talk to you

**tshirogane:** you need to help me

**Allurable:** Ah, so now you want to propose

**tshirogane:** weve been over this 

**Allurable:** When do you want to do it?

**tshirogane:** i hate to do it after lance keith and hunk and shay? bail but im gonna have to

**Allurable:** understandable

**Allurable:** we can talk specifics later but you need to get a ring

**tshirogane:** yeah thats what i came to you about

**Allurable:** RING SHOPPING

**tshirogane:** yes

**Allurable:** the day after the kids move out we are Going you hear me?

**tshirogane:** i hear you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES SHIRO GET IT UNF DADDY  
> also? this chapter is based on true events (AKA ME LAST NIGHT)   
> ALSO? drink safely pls. if u are gonna be a sneaky bee then be around people you trust and know when to stop <3 stay safe out there you renegades i love you all
> 
> ALSO next chapter we are hitting another MAJOR milestone so be on the lookout!!!! >;3c


	93. a new chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LANCES bf: hunk lance and i all move out today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOK AT THE WORD COUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_ 6:45 _

**Sharpshooter > keith.k**

 

**Sharpshooter:** help iv eoeben  crying fo r7 hours

**keith.k:** talk to me lance whats up

**Sharpshooter:** im gonna miss my family os fcmuch

**keith.k:** youll get to see them

**Sharpshooter:** I KNOW

**Sharpshooter:** bytu my mom i s crying and now im cyrign and we were cyrign together but she feelllll asleep

**keith.k:** deep breaths lance

**keith.k:** its like rachel and veronica

**keith.k:** and marco and luis

**keith.k:** you go to visit them all the time

**keith.k:** youll see your mom

**Sharpshooter:** KEIGH im ehte last one

**Sharpshooter:** livke

**Sharpshooter:** ok

**Sharpshooter:** liek she has luis and . nadia and yknow

**keith.k:** you can visit her anytime you want

**Sharpshooter:** i kno nfow ketih 

**Sharpshooter:** im tsill gonna miss them???

**Sharpshooter:** that smy family

**keith.k:** lance its 7am and youre leaving at noon you need to rest

**Sharpshooter:** dad scdriving

**keith.k:** please

**Sharsphooter:** do you mind fi i clal you??

**keith.k:** if you want

**Sharpshooter:** also you osund like shiro lmao

**keith.k:** shut up just call me when you get in bed

 

_ Incoming call [7:04] _

 

_ Call ended [7:32] _

 

**keith.k:** goodnight lance

 

_ 8:28 _

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** whats up sluts theres a new movie out and were all going

**LANCES bf:** we cant???

**pidgerino:** WHAT WHY NOT

**LANCES bf:** hunk lance and i all move out today

**pidgerino:** wait youre all going to the same school???

**LANCES bf:** yeah?

**pidgerino:** YOU CANT ALL BE ROOMMATES THO?

**LANCES bf:** what does that have to do with anything

**pidgerino:** are any of you roommates?

**tshirogane:** keith and lance have been banned from being roommates during their first year because otherwise neither of them will do their work

**LANCES bf:** im rooming with hunk

**enginerd:** lance volunteered to have the rando roomie

**enginerd:** hes in a different building entirely actually

**enginerd:** lance is across campus

**LANCES bf:** oh i forgot there were 2 dorm buildings

**enginerd:** its easy to forget. they look exactly the same

**enginerd:** theres north hall and south hall. same name and everything

**LANCES bf:** thats stupid

**pidgerino:** lmfao yall go to a tiny school dont you

**enginerd:** no the dorm buildings are 6 stories

**pidgerino:** WHAT

**tshirogane:** its a smaller campus so they compensate by stacking

**pidgerino:** thats so weird

**Allurable:** I like my school. You’re all silly.

**tshirogane:** allura you go to a huge school

**Allurable:** Are they going to a private academy?

**enginerd:** no its just. really small and its 4 hours away and stuff

**mattress:** LMFAO pidge wyd u started school yesterday get off your phone

**Allurable:** Pidge…

**mattress:** my little sister is growing up ;-)

**pidgerino:** you exposed me i hate you

**mattress:** love me hate me say what you want about me

**tshirogane:** BUT ALL OF THE BOYS AND ALL OF THE GIRLS ARE BEGGING TO IF YOU SEEK AMY

**balmerina:** that was the gayest thing ive ever seen you do shiro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AWW POOR LANCE D: hes so stressed probably
> 
> idk whats up with their campus also? its fucking wild and probably all condensed into like 2 blocks. its wild and im a mess dont @ me


	94. operationg kogane move out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lotor.daibazaal: this is a cult

_ 11:18 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** hey i just woke up whats good fuckers

**Sharpshooter:** wait

**Sharpshooter:** fhuck

**tshirogane:** everything okay lance?

**Sharpshooter:** im not re ady

**tshirogane:** youre worried now but give it a week and youll be okay

**tshirogane:** i was stressed when i went to college too

**tshirogane:** once you meet people and get busy with classes youll realize its not as bad as you think it is

**pidgerino:** patience yields focus

**Allurable:** Patience yields focus.

**mattress:** patience yields focus

**LANCES bf:** patience yields focus

**balmerina:** patience yields focus!

**enginerd:** patience yields focus

**lotor.daibazaal:** this is a cult

**Allurable:** I forgot you were here.

**balmerina:** it be ya own gf

**lotor.daibazaal:** Its fine i never know what to say anyway

**Allurable:** Pidge, Shay get to class

**Allurable:** What time are you three leaving?

**enginerd:** im actually already on the road haha

**enginerd:** no time to say goodbye

**balmerina:** thats a lie you just dont wanna cry

**balmerina:** coward

**pidgerino:** HUCK YOU FUNK

**enginerd:** huck you funk

**balmerina:** Huck You Funk

**pidgerino:** n o  dont

**tshirogane:** shay pidge phones away

**pidgerino:** save me shiro

**balmerina:** huck you funk

**lotor.daibazaal:** Yes this is a cult

**Allurable:** Oh hush.

**lotor.daibazaal:** It is

**Allurable:** But you love snooping on it.

**lotor.daibazaal:** Maybe so

 

_ 11:31 _

**Sharpshooter > keith.k**

 

**Sharpshooter:** when are you and shiro leaving

**keith.k:** shiro is coddling matt so probably not soon

**Sharpshooter:** ok then come outside

**keith.k:** are you outside my house right now lance mcclain

**Sharpshooter:** yeah

**keith.k:** you dont have to say goodbye to me though?

**Sharpshooter:** I KNOW

**keith.k:** then what do you

**keith.k:** yknow what ill just come outside and find out

**Sharpshooter:** ur so dumb omg

 

_ 11:48 _

 

**Sharpshooter:** ilu ill see you soon say it back

**keith.k:** see you soon

**Sharpshooter:** SAY IT BACK YOU DUMB DFUCK

**keith.k:** i just did

**Sharpshooter:** tell me you love me you mullet having naked cat lookin ass

**Sharpshooter:** copy paste this

**Sharpshooter:** ilu and ill see you soon lance

**keith.k:** ilu and ill see you soon you long leg having toasted wheat bread lookin ass

**Sharpshooter:** GOOD ENOUGH ILY TOO  <3

 

_ 11:49 _

**take me to church**

 

**tshirogane:** keith has a box

**mattress:** keith whats in the box

**mattress:** show us the box keith

**mattress:** show your lovely cousin shiro and his boyfriend the box

**tshirogane:** he just walked inside give him a second

**tshirogane:** but also whats in the box

**pidgerino:** owo whats this

**mattress:** i hate that youre using that phrase correctly

**LANCES bf:** lance dropped it off

**LANCES bf:** he just came to give this to me

**Sharpshooter:** smh dont tell them whats in the box

**Sharpshooter:** the box is for ur eyes only

**tshirogane:** if you gave him lewd pictures of yourself consider your corpse in the woods lance

**Sharpshooter:** ITS NOT

**LANCES bf:** im opening the box

**Sharpshooter:** is shiro there

**LANCES bf:** no im locked in the bathroom

**mattress:** what if i have to pee

**LANCES bf:** theres a sink deal with it

**mattress:** dam keith

 

_ 11:56 _

**tshirogane > keith.k**

 

**tshirogane:** youve been in there a while whats in the box

**keith.k:** its. personal

**tshirogane:** its your stuff?

**keith.k:** no its just. personal

**tshirogane:** how so?

**keith.k:** its a hoodie. and some pictures. and a bag of custom m &ms

**tshirogane:** from lance?

**keith.k:** yeah

**keith.k:** the m &ms are red and blue and i dont know how he got this to happen but i cant eat these oh my god shiro

**tshirogane:** thats so sweet. we can get you a jar to put them in so they dont have to sit in the bag

**tshirogane:** do you need anything for the pictures?

**tshirogane:** frames or a string with clips or some pins and cork board?

**keith.k:** ill figure that out later

**tshirogane:** and whats the hoodie?

**keith.k:** its like. black with two stripes down the arms that are blue and on the back it says mcclain 01

**tshirogane:** hes so sappy oh lord keith are you gonna be okay

**keith.k:** and he has a matching one

**keith.k:** and it

**keith.k:** shiro i wanna room with him this isnt fair

**tshirogane:** thats the fun part

**keith.k:** SHIRO

**tshirogane:** we better get going if were gonna beat lance to campus

**keith.k:** shiro what the fuck stop hiding shit from me what s going on

**tshirogane:** the car is already loaded come on get in the car we have to beat lance

**keith.k:** WHY

**tshirogane:** i cant tell you but youll be pretty happy about it

**tshirogane:**  the hoodie looks good by the way

**keith.k:** thanks

 

_ 12:03 _

**take me to church**

 

**tshirogane:** operation kogane move out is a go!

**mattress:** yeah and you fucking left me at home

**tshirogane:** too much stuff for another person to come with sorry

**mattress:** its ok just take pics for me  <3

**tshirogane:** i will  <3

**Allurable:**  I believe you mean operationg.

**tshirogane:** Allura I will not hesitate

 **Allurable:** Do it, coward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact i actually started crying when i was writing the end of this chapter because it was just so dam sweet
> 
> IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS IM SO KSDFKSDKFSD YESSSS OPERATION KOGANE MOVE OUT IS A G O HONEY
> 
> also you all deserve this chapter bc i keep posting bullshit. this is a treat from me to you <3


	95. it had to come from somewhere didnt it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mattress: big gay loser energy
> 
> pidgerino: i love the bgle community

_ 5:39 _

**take me to church**

 

**Sharpshooter:** WHAT THE FUCK

**pidgerino:** explain

**Sharpshooter:** IM ROOMING IWTH KEITH

**pidgerino:** SHIRO SAID YOU WERENT

**LANCES bf:** HE TRICKED US

**Sharpshooter:** i walk into my room with my family and keith is sitting on the fucking bed and oh my god

**tshirogane:** are you happy?

**Sharpshooter:** this iis the fucebst fucking thing ever

**enginerd:** IM SO GLAD

**pidgerino:** i cannot believe shiro is such a romantic that he shoves it onto klance

**mattress:** big gay loser energy

**pidgerino:** i love the bgle community

**Sharpshooter:** SHUT UP 

**Allurable:** That’s so sweet.

**Allurable:** If only Shiro was this romantic about his own relationship!

**tshirogane:** i cannot believe this

**Allurable:** Do I need to copy paste my own words?

**Allurable:** **Allurable:** Do it, coward.

**tshirogane:** as soon as i get back into town im coming for you

**mattress:** haha and then what ;)

**pidgerino:** GO AWAY

 

_ pigerino has kicked mattress from the chat _

 

_ tshirogane has added mattack to the chat _

_ tshirogane has changed mattack ‘s name to matty b raps _

 

**matty b raps:** i hate you

**tshirogane:** stop lying

**matty b raps:** I HATE YOU

**pidgerino:** sounds fake but okay

**Allurable:** Shiro have you left Klance yet?

**tshirogane:** yeah but i had veronica record lance walking into his dorm

**Sharpshooter:** YOU RECORDED IT

**tshirogane:** your sister did. shes supposed to be sending it to me

**tshirogane:** that way i can share it with all of you :)

**Allurable:** Shiro, you will forever remain the smartest amongst us all.

**pidgerino:** she-ro, you will forevah remoin the smawrtest amongst us oll

**Allurable:** Please explain that sentence.

**pidgerino:** somebody had to point out the fact you speak british eventually

**Allurable:** I do not speak British.

**pidgerino:** YOU HAVE AN ACCENT

**pidgerino:** WHY DO YOU HAVE AN ACCENT

**Allurable:** This is my voice!

**matty b raps:** are you british allura

**Allurable:** No I am not.

**pidgerino:** how do you have an accent

**matty b raps:** wait wait wait allura question

**Allurable:** I do not like where this is going.

**matty b raps:** What television did you watch as a child?

**Allurable:** As a child?

**Allurable:** I didn’t watch many children’s shows if that’s what you’re asking.

**Allurable:** Although, Coran did enjoy the stories from Thomas the Tank Engine.

**Allurable:** And he and my father would watch old Dr Who seasons together. As a girl, though, I didn’t watch much television.

**pidgerino:** i hope everybody else is making this connection

**Allurable:** What?

**pidgerino:** you adopted your accent from british tv ALLURA I CANT

**matty b raps:** LMAO I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS 

**matty b raps:** ALLURA YOURE ICONIC HONESTLY

**Allurable:** Oh my goodness you’re right.

**pidgerino:** KSDKFSDJSJJSAAAAA

**matty b raps:** I GTG I CANT BREATHE  FUCK

**Allurable:** I feel like I just lost all sense of self.

**Sharpshooter:** yall just up and broke allura

**Sharpshooter:** if she starts trying to talk american i will kill both of you

**pidgerino:** I DIDNT EVEN 

**Sharpshooter:** YOU STARTED IT

**pidgerino:** yeah you right i did lmao

**Allurable:** It’s okay! I do like my voice and I will wear my accent with pride.

**Sharpshooter:** ICONIC, TRULY

**matty b raps:** we love a queen forever and always

**pidgerino:** retweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO IM HERE I SWEAR!!  
> so many things have been happening in my life but theyre all good!! im officially going to get surgery (scheduling a date TOMORROW oh golly), i have an interview ALSO tomorrow (oh golly), my mom is coming to see me this weekend, and im getting a new saxophone and AAHHHH my life is going so good right now its unreal <3
> 
> i hope all of you are having good days and such too! <3
> 
> stay saucy children youre all amazing


	96. brogane betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tshirogane: what the fuck did you do

_ 2:45 _

**keith.k > tshirogane**

 

**keith.k:** are you still awake at all

**tshirogane:** i am whats up

**keith.k:** i dont like this

**tshirogane:** living with lance?

**tshirogane:** oh god is he a party animal

**tshirogane:** are there people in your dorm?

**tshirogane:** keith you live there too you can kick them out

**keith.k:** no its fine lance is asleep anyway

**keith.k:** i just cant sleep

**tshirogane:** why not

**tshirogane:** also did you push your beds together like you were screaming about doing or does lance have a loft?

**keith.k:** lance has a loft but that gives us a bunkbed since luis build it custom

**tshirogane:** not important why cant you sleep

**keith.k:** its not home

**tshirogane:** its day one buddy

**keith.k:** i know its just weird knowing youre not right down the hallf

**keith.k:** i dont like it shiro

**keith.k:** this college stuff isnt for me

**tshirogane:** calm down buddy

**tshirogane:** give it a shot okay?

**keith.k:** ill do a semester and if i hate it im dropping out shiro

**tshirogane:** if you absolutely hate it, not just hating it out of spite, i will let you drop out

**keith.k:** im an adult

**keith.k:** if i hate it in general im dropping out shiro

**tshirogane:** but you have a few months to decide that okay

**tshirogane:** once you get into the swing of classes and meet people it wont be as bad

**tshirogane:** trust me, i was also incredibly homesick

**tshirogane:** adam hated it. he was so irritated with me

**keith.k:** speaking of adam

**tshirogane:** what about him

**keith.k:** do you still talk to him after… yknow

**tshirogane:** not really

**tshirogane:** the only time i ever see adam is on instagram from when we followed each other way back when

**keith.k:** matt knows adam right?

**tshirogane:** we all used to be good friends yeah

**tshirogane:** matt was a third wheel but he never minded i dont think

**keith.k:** adams one of my professors

**keith.k:** i dont think he knows me but i know him and its gonna be weird

**tshirogane:** if adam has glanced at my instagram even once ill think he will know that you are in fact my younger brother adoptively your guardian whatever we are

**keith.k:** actually since im over 18 youre not my guardian anymore

**tshirogane:** technicality

**keith.k:** but yeah no adams like doing swell and stuff

**tshirogane:** his instagram is boring its all aesthetic and no fun

**keith.k:** anyway yeah what do i do if he asks me about you

**tshirogane:** adam wont ask you about me that’s ridiculous

**keith.k:** BUT IF HE DOES

**tshirogane:** he wont

**tshirogane:** keith youre pushing 3am please go to sleep

**keith.k:** you too wtf

**tshirogane:** matt and i are on a lord of the rings marathon and were only on hour 5

**tshirogane:** extended version too

**tshirogane:** and the hobbit

**keith.k:** you guys are nerds

**tshirogane:** exactly

**keith.k:** wait youre telling me you immediately arrived home, sat down with matt, and put on lord of the rings

**tshirogane:** oh god no

**tshirogane:** i went on a run, showered, we got about 132$ worth of mcdonalds and caffeinated drinks and THEN put on lord of the rings

**keith.k:** youre awful

**tshirogane:** we have about 8 lbs of fries

**keith.k:** youre both going to die

**tshirogane:** here for a good time not a long time

**keith.k:** im going to bed have fun shiro

**tshirogane:** goodnight keith

**keith.k:** also are you texting in the middle of the movie

**tshirogane:** bathroom breaks

**tshirogane:** thats why i was sending you to bed. or trying

**keith.k:** well im going now so ill talk to you tomorrow okay

**tshirogane:** have fun in your classes. meet people okay?

**keith.k:** lance will make me

**tshirogane:** as he should

**keith.k:** goodnight shiro

 

_ 11:38 _

**adamantlyblind > tshirogane**

 

**adamantlyblind:** is this takashi shirogane?

**adamantlyblind:** im going to assume it is since your user came up as tshirogane

**tshirogane:** it is, who is this?

**adamantlyblind:** its adam. thought we could catch up? havent spoken in some time.

 

_ 11:41 _

**tshirogane > keith.k**

 

**tshirogane:** what the fuck did you do

**keith.k:** i panicked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAD TO THROW THE GUY IN THERE SOMEHOW
> 
> we shall see what happens with this newfound storyline while i simultaneously try to resolve the other ones  
> i do have an idea that i want to do but it needs MORE development for it to actually happen lmao
> 
> but yeah no i have a list of all the plot things i have going that need to be resolved dont worry its okay
> 
> ALSO HI I MISS YOU ALL HERES AN EXTRA LONG CHAPTER BC ILY <3 THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE WITH MY SCHOOL IS KILLER AND I JUST GOT A JOB TOO LMAO  
> ps fun fact the fucking google doc on this bitch is 223 pages long currently. i hate it. it lags so much. i cant find anything. the outline side bar saves my life every time.


	97. keith panicked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mattress: Adam?
> 
> pidgerino: vape cloud

_ 11:41 _

**tshirogane > keith.k**

 

**tshirogane:** what the fuck did you do

**keith.k:** i panicked

**tshirogane:** you panicked???

**tshirogane:** you gave my ex fiance my phone number because you panicked?

**tshirogane:** did you really not consider how i would feel about this?

**keith.k:** shiro im sorry

**tshirogane:** whatd he say to you

**keith.k:** he called me up after class and asked how i was doing and then asked about you

**keith.k:** i told him about your job and that youre doing good

**tshirogane:** how did he get my number

**keith.k:** right before i was about to leave i said i needed to call you actually

**keith.k:** i was going to let you know how class went with adam

**keith.k:** he asked if he could have your number

**keith.k:** i panicked and said yeah

**tshirogane:** im not mad at you keith but

**tshirogane:** i still

**keith.k:** getting over him?

**tshirogane:** yeah

**keith.k:** im sorry

**tshirogane:** its okay

 

_ 4:17 _

**take me to church**

 

**pidgerino:** yall school is boring af without u

**pidgerino:** like hella boring

**mattress:** is it boring going home and not having your cool big bro there

**pidgerino:** no thats still nice plus i could come over whenever and see you or whatever

**mattress:** ouch

**mattress:** shiro and i have been watching lotr for hours and hours on end

**pidgerino:** YOURE MARATHONING IT WITHOUT ME

**mattress:** first act of being without keith

**LANCES bf:** you do realize im right here right

**mattress:** yes and you live with your bf now too so shut up

**mattress:** SPEAKING OF

**mattress:** wheres hunk i wanna hear abt his roomie lmao

**pidgerino:** omfg me too what if they become best friends

**Sharpshooter:** impossible i will always be hunks best friend

**Sharpshooter:** always lurking remember

**Sharpshooter:** u cant say shit brah

**enginerd:** yo actually my roommate is kind of weird

**enginerd:** like he showed up at the last minute and hes really awkward

**enginerd:** im trying to make conversation with him and stuff but

**enginerd:** hes awkward

**enginerd:** its like rooming with keith but not being friends with him

**enginerd:** hes really quiet and stuff.

**enginerd:** his names ryan and i guess he has friends who go here too. none of them room together. thats all i know. also hes from like. an hour away. so not like us.

**pidgerino:** funky

**enginerd:** hes cool dont get my wrong

**enginerd:** he said he likes film and movies a lot

**enginerd:** has a lot of posters

**pidgerino:** oh shit lmao add him to the gc

**enginerd:** hed hate me

**mattress:** add him coward

**enginerd:** no

**Sharpshooter:** SMH HUNK

**Sharpshooter:** oh also whats up with yall lmao we need a group check in

**Sharpshooter:** @ everybody log in check up time

**Sharpshooter:** im doing great but i wish i didnt have a loft but also i like the loft but also i cant snuggle keith easily

**pidgerino:** nevermind i dont miss that

**mattress:** ive eaten so many fries

**enginerd:** i just gave a check in

**Allurable:** Oh! Hunk your roommate sounds fascinating. I’d love to meet him someday, and his friends as well. Film is always a fun topic to discuss with anybody.

**Allurable:** I’m doing alright as well. My classes this semester are few and far between which is lovely. Also I’m hanging out with Lotor tonight.

**pidgerino:** yes queen

**LANCES bf:** i have the scariest professor

**Sharpshooter:** which one

**LANCES bf:** from this morning?? history 108

**Sharpshooter:** oh shit haha yeah rip keith

**pidgerino:** whats he like

**Allurable:** Keith if your professor scares you, switching out of the class is okay.

**LANCES bf:** its required for my major

**enginerd:** you said you knew the guy when we were in english

**LANCES bf:** i do know him thats the problem

**Allurable:** Also where is Shiro he needs to check in.

**tshirogane:** im right here

**Allurable:** Are you lurking?

**tshirogane:** maybe

**Allurabe:** Why?

**tshirogane:** i was curious about what keith had to say about his professor

**Sharpshooter:** oh shit

**pidgerino:** im lost

**tshirogane:** Keith’s history professor is my ex almost-fiance

**mattress:** Adam?

**pidgerino:** vape cloud

**tshirogane:** and he messaged me and i dont know how to respond but its okay hes hours away and i wont have to see him and yeah

**mattress:** yo man hold on brb he needs some milk

**LANCES bf:** shiro

**mattress:** milk time for the big boy

**LANCES bf:** but

**mattress:** he NEEDS some MILK

**mattress:** let the man drink his milk okay

 

_ 4:45 _

**pidgerino > mattress**

 

**pidgerino:** yo wtf is going on

**mattress:** shiro and adam got off on a bad foot haha its a whole thing dont worry about it we have a movie to finish tho and then were gonna sleep so we outtie for a while yknow

**pidgerino:** understandable have a nice day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rip shiro skfksdf but aLSO OWO GET READY YALL IM THROWING SHIT IN LEFT AND RIGHT YEEHAW  
> also ive been writing a lot lately so its LIT


	98. meddling little girl i see you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allurable: Are you sure it’s not for… other reasons?
> 
> pidgerino: mayhaps
> 
> Allurable: Pidge, please don’t play with fire.

_ 4:48 _

**pidgerino > Allurable**

 

**pidgerino:** hey when did you and shiro get together

**Allurable:** I believe it was Junior year? High School

**pidgerino:** yours or his.. like arent u younger than him

**Allurable:** His junior year

**Allurable:** My freshman yeah

**Allurable:** Actually, it was in between. Over the summer between grade 9 and 10.

**pidgerino:** and when did u break up

**Allurable:** Right befoooore… summer after my sophomore year? I believe?

**Allurable:** The relationship was very short if my memory serves right.

**pidgerino:** oh wow

**Allurable:** Why?

**pidgerino:** shiros had a lot of exes and i need a timeline

**pidgerino:** he’d never give it to me so

**Allurable:** Are you sure it’s not for… other reasons?

**pidgerino:** mayhaps

**Allurable:** Pidge, please don’t play with fire.

 

_ 4:56 _

**pidgerino > mattack**

 

**pidgerino:** yo when did u start dating shiro the first time

**mattack:** like freshmen year in college

**mattack:** or do you mean the pining in high school bc at that point we basically were dating too

**pidgerino:** got it and when was the second time u started dating

**mattack:** what are you doing katie also is was like a year ago?

**pidgerino:** just wondering yknow

**mattack:** pidge

**pidgerino:** putting a timeline together when did you break up in college

**mattack:** time line

**pidgerino:** yes answer the question

**mattack:** right before spring break of that year. it was like 6 months? 5-7 somewhere in there i think idk

**pidgerino:** interesting

**mattack:** what are you on about

**pidgerino:** ill let you know

 

_ 5:03 _

**pidgerino > keith.k**

 

**pidgerino:** hey u knew shiro when he was in college didnt you live with him or something

**keith.k:** what about it

**pidgerino:** adam

**keith.k:** what

**pidgerino:** when did u realize they were dating

**keith.k:** i was like.14? 15? i think shiro was a junior in college

**keith.k:** whatcha tryna do

**pidgerino:** when did they break up??

**keith.k:** not too long after he graduated. because shiro wanted to move here. adam didnt like that plan. mostly because adam already had a job at the university i think? so he couldnt go with

**keith.k:** they broke up. im pretty sure shiro was considering getting engaged and stuff? him an adam had talked about it a few times.

**pidgerino:** … so like. in june? may?

**keith.k:** it was actually in… like. july or august?? i think they tried a long distance thing just because they were desperate but when shiro went back to visit him over a weekend they broke up instead.

**keith.k:** it was in august

**pidgerino:** august?

**keith.k:** we moved in august. here. we moved here.

**pidgerino:** soooo when did they break up do you think

**keith.k:** late august early september

**pidgerino:** … oh god

**keith.k:** what

**pidgerino:** i gotta go im gonna be sick???

**keith.k:** pidge what

**pidgerino:** i just meddled in something i shouldnt have and came to a……. gut dropping conclusion

**keith.k:** which is???

 

_ 5:25 _

 

**keith.k:** pidge???

 

_ Incoming call from keith.k 5:38 _

 

_ Missed call from keith.k 5:39 _

 

_ 5:18 _

**pidgerino > mattack**

 

**pidgerino:** did you… realize

**pidgerino:** youre shiros rebound?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i meant to post this a few days ago and forgot
> 
> ANYWAY hi ive been busy im trying to learn enough german to basically be proficient in a year. because i. wnat to study. in austria.  
> i know its a bad idea but im motivated  
> chants music is the dumbest major on repeat for 6 years
> 
> also im posting this while waiting for my laundry bye ily all remember to take ur meds and drink water


	99. the rebound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidgerino: im sorry matt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have fun

_ 5:19 _

**mattack > pidgerino**

 

**mattack:** what

**pidgerino:** every time. shiro has broken up with somebody else. he immediately gets together with you

**pidgerino:** after allura, after adam

**pidgerino:** youre his go-to, matt

**mattack:** thats dumb

**pidgerino:** shiro and allura broke up after senior year, you got with him freshmen year

**mattack:** thats just coincidental

**pidgerino:** shiro and adam broke up after senior year, you got with him a few months later

**mattack:** so

**pidgerino:** you are shiros rebound relationship

**mattack:** im not

**pidgerino:** matt you need to talk to him about this because you are so in love with him and i swear to god if he meets another person and takes interest in them while kicking you to the curb there will not be a takashi shirogane on earth anymore

**mattack:** im not shiros rebound we were young and stupid you dont even know why we broke up

**pidgerino:** whyd you break up during college then

**mattack:** because i wouldnt talk to him

**mattack:** i was too hammered into my schoolwork to give him the time of day

**mattack:** adam appreciated him

**mattack:** they hung out

**mattack:** they were roommates pidge they got to see each other all the time they were good for each other except adam didnt realize shiros a dreamer

**mattack:** shiro doesnt stop going he doesnt take breaks and shit

**mattack:** adam and shiro broke up because shiro is reaching for the stars and adam is satisfied with the moon

**mattack:** dont go calling me a rebound when you dont know the inside story pidge

**mattack:** i get that youre just lookoing out for me. i appreciate it. i really do

**mattack:** but you didnt know why we broke up. you just knew dates. not stories

**mattack:** not to mention shiro and adam broke up 2 years before we started dating. not 2 months. it was fresh out of college. not fresh out of 2 years after college. straight outta compton yknow

**pidgerino:** im sorry matt

**mattack:** like i said its okay

**pidgerino:** still im like.

**pidgerino:** yikes

**mattack:** big yikes

**mattack:** can we keep this between us? dont talk to anybody about this aight

**pidgerino:** aight

**mattack:** id say handshake time but im not home so

**pidgerino:** virtual holt shake

**mattack:** virtual holt shake

**pidgerino:** you and shiro should come over for dinner again

**pidgerino:** its weird only having 3 people at the table

**mattack:** YOU MISS ME

**pidgerino:** NO I DONT

 

_ 5:42 _

**take me to church**

 

**mattress:** GUYS MY LITTLE SISTER MISSES ME AT HOME

**pidgerino:** I DO NOT

**balmerina:** PRECIOUS

**Allurable:** That’s adorable

**balmerina:** piiiiidge you can love your big brother nobodys gonna hate you

**balmerina:** as somebody with a big brother. i can confirm

**Sharpshooter:** MOOD SHAY

**balmerina:** its cute

**mattress:** my little sister is a sap and im usign it against her forever

**pidgerino:** cyberbully

**mattress:** you love me

**pidgerino:** am i not allowed to enjoy my family

**mattress:** SHE LOVES ME

**mattress:** my little sister :’)

**pidgerino:** my dumb brother :,)

**mattress:** cyberbullying

**mattress:** hello 911 yeah its me again

**Sharpshooter:** please actually do that if you ever have to call 911

**mattress:** when would i ever have to call 911

**balmerina:** you and shiro live together

**Sharpshooter:** shay dont drag them so hard omg

**tshirogane:** okay wig

**Sharpshooter:** OKAY WIG

  
_ Sharpshooter has changed the chat name to  _ **_OKAY WIG_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a confession.  
> i added the "2 years after not 2 months" part after reading this like 4 times because it didnt seem right and then i realised i was missing 2 years of time skfdskfs  
> you graduate at 22 not 24 kids and shiro is an old man
> 
> anyway matt loves his mans okay we dont stan shatt angst here im not ready for that stuff 
> 
> ALSO I LOVED READING YALLS REACTIONS IT WAS SO SDFKDS I WAS DYING I STAN!!!! 
> 
> i miss you all make sure you take your meds and drink water i hope you have a good time!!! ill see you next chapter (100 CHAPTERS OF COMPLETE TOMFOOLERY!!!!!!!!!!!)


	100. www.tumblr.com/tagged/fraggy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> balmerina: if alluras wearing a wig then she super glued it on years ago
> 
> mattress: please you think allura would wear super glue on her head?
> 
> mattress: get real. shes rich. she can easily afford gorilla glue

_ 6:05 _

**OKAY WIG**

 

**balmerina:** utterly scalped

**balmerina:** snatching weaves for weeks

**balmerina:** honestly if i could id rip alluras weave clean off

**Sharpshooter:** allura has a weave??

**pidgerino:** is anything about her real

**balmerina:** i was kidding!!!

**balmerina:** if alluras wearing a wig then she super glued it on years ago

**mattress:** please you think allura would wear super glue on her head?

**mattress:** get real. shes rich. she can easily afford gorilla glue

**pidgerino:** u rite damn

**Allurable:** My hair is not a wig.

**mattress:** case closed alluras the realest babe on the block

**Allurable:** I’m offended that you all doubted my abilities to grow this mane

**Sharpshooter:** we dont doubt u grew it we doubt that its fucking fleeky errytime

**Sharpshooter:** how ur hair always so soft

**Allurable:** Well, unlike SOME people, I don’t use 3 in 1 body wash, shampoo, conditioner

**pidgerino:** leave me alone

**Sharpshooter:** Matt please save your sister

**Sharpshooter:** what do u even use head and shoulders skskdkfs

**pidgerino:** hey i just tell my mom whatevers cheapest and she pours the rest into my bank acc

**Sharpshooter:** i cannot believe you use

**Allurable:** I know. It’s a tragedy.

**mattress:** not everybody can handle Holt Hair

**tshirogane:** please stop using your last name with every common thing

**tshirogane:** holt wager, holt hair, holt holiday, whats next

**pidgerino:** holt call out

**tshirogane:** i never liked you holts

**mattress:** fake news u love us both

**balmerina:** drag him queen

**enginerd:** why is my gf so metal wow

**balmerina:** rock hard core

**enginerd:** oh yeah

**Sharpshooter:** OKAY WIG

**LANCES bf:** okay teeth

**Sharpshooter:** keith what does that mean

**LANCES bf:** you have big ass teeth

**Sharpshooter:** WHAT

**Sharpshooter:** DOES THAT MEAN

**LANCES bf:** idk u tell me horse head

**pidgerino:** DRAG HIM

**pidgerino:** ALL CROPS ARE WATERED THE HARVEST IS SWEET BITCH

**Allurable:** I hate to interrupt Keith calling Lance a horse, but…

**Allurable:** Halloween is coming and we all need to determine costumes

**pidgerino:** scooby doo

**pidgerino:** i have this all planned out okay listen

**pidgerino:** lance isnt in this anymore hes going as a horse we dont make the rules

**mattress:** klance as cowboy and horse goodbye

 

_ Sharpshooter has removed mattress from the chat. _

 

**pidgerino:** ADD HIM BACK COWARD

**Sharpshooter:** oho so now the talking cheese is gonna preach to us

 

_ pidgerino has added mattack to the chat. _

_ pidgerino has changed mattack ‘s name to mattress. _

 

**mattress:** why are you booing me im right?

**Sharpshooter:** im not a horse boy :(

 

_ enginerd has sent an image. _

 

**mattress:** MY HORSE PRINCE

**pidgerino:** a klance biography

**tshirogane:** yeah i hate the holts

**mattress:** holt hate crime

 

_ tshirogane has locked the chat. _

 

_ 11:46 _

 

_ tshirogane has unlocked the chat _

 

**tshirogane:** i genuinely forgot i did that im sorry

**Allurable:** Halloween.

**pidgerino:** i told you i have this planned out

**pidgerino:** shiro is fred, i am velma, matt is shaggy (in this au they dont date but are instead close friends), allura is daphne (in this au fred and shaggy are gay), and that lets klance be cowboy x horse, and hunk and shay can do a cute couple costume. and baebae is scooby hence why matt is shaggy and not daphne 

**Allurable:** They’re lesbians, Harold?

**pidgerino:** u have a boyfriend

**Allurabe:** I FORGOT!!!

**pidgeirno:** LOTOR HGET IN HERE SALURA FORG OT SHES DATING YOU SKDFDSLJFLKSD 

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** That’s unfortunate

**Sharpshooter:** hey im back what ever happened to that one girl we added like she spoke once???

**Allurable:** Oh?

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** So this does mean allura and i are not doing a couples costume correct?

**Allurable:** If you have a better idea than the scooby doo gang you can join us because i actually like what pidge suggested

**balmerina:** how do you forget youre dating somebody

**Allurable:** I don’t know…

**Allurable:** I am ashamed.

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Its alright we dont talk as much as we should since were both so busy

**pidgerino:** so scooby doo?

**mattress:** are you going trick or treating?

**pidgerino:** who do you think i am?

**mattress:** thats my baby sis lets go

**pidgerino:** shiro and allura have to come with

**tshirogane:** no

**Allurable:** Shiro, you are a coward.

 

_ 12:07 _

 

_ pidgerino has added tshirogane, Allurable, mattack to  _ **_scooby BOO gang ft baebae_ **

 

**mattack:** ily pidge

**pidgerino:** bask in my glory i know

**pidgerino:** now. shiro is fred. obviously. the leader. the cult leader. our overlord.

**mattack:** our daddy

**pidgerino:** your*

**Allurable:** Oh dear.

**pidgerino:** Allura you are beautiful and badass like the live action daphne is so u are the queen amen bless the rains

**pidgerino:** but please dont get a wig

**pidgerino:** NOBODY IS GETTING WIGS I DONT WANT LANCE TO SCALP US LIKE BUFFOONS

**tshirogane:** lance is at school

**pidgerino:** oh now im sad

**pidgerino:** shit over it next

**mattack:** ksdjflsdj

**pidgerino:** matt ur shaggy because you are a coward and you eat a lot and baebae is technically ur dog

**pidgerino:** also fred x shaggy is a thing tumblr search it

**mattack:** brb

**tshirogane:** what

**pidgerino:** i have glasses and im the smartest so im velma

**pidgerino:** now we all are gonna shop the fuck outta this shiro when r u free

**tshirogane:** i don’t work tonight actually. are we going shopping?

**Allurable:** Excellent, my schedule is cleared now.

**tshirogane:** I’ll do the rounds at 4 and we’ll get costumes

**pidgerino:** bitch yeet

 

_ 7:34 _

**OKAY WIG**

 

_ pidgerino has sent an image _

 

**pidgerino:** ignore the fucking homosexuals in the back posing like anime school girls but halloween is quAKINGGGGG

**enginerd:** is that scooby doo but thrift store edition?

**tshirogane:** the only one of us who has money is allura sorry

**balmerina:** YOURE ALL SO CUTE hunk what are we gonna be

**enginerd:** i have no idea. i mean. youre there and im HERE.

**balmerina:** and what about it?

**enginerd:** well figure it out

**balmerina:** thats my man  <3

**Sharpshooter:** hetero

**enginerd:** its no homo solidarity

**pidgerino:** SHUT UP

**Sharpshooter:** hunk just no homod shay its rough   
**pidgerino:** press f to pay respects

**mattress:** f   
**tshirogane:** press f4 to pay respects

**balmerina:** We are texting.

**tshirogane:** and what about it?

**pidgerino:** living with matt has done things to you shiro

**pidgerino:** youve changed

**enginerd:** theyre becoming one human being

**balmerina:** i fear nothing except this

**pidgerino:** you guys cant become the same person unless you get married i want proof of engagement this is tom foolery

**tshirogane:** why does it always circle back to us getting married

**pidgerino:** because you should???? duh

**enginerd:** im not pushing the gay agenda here

**enginerd:** but you two are pretty darn good for each other and i admire that a lot

**balmerina:** shirooooo pleaseee

**pidgerino:** idea

 

_ 8:32 _

_ pidgerino has added tshirogane, hunkindonuts, balmerina to  _ **_shiro gets married_ **

 

**pidgerino:** this meeting is important

**tshirogane:** no its not

**balmerina:** im asking the questions here mister

**pidgerino:** wh

**hunkindonuts:** shay please

**balmerina:** do you love matthew holt

**tshirogane:** …… yes what about it

**pidgerino:** STOP ALL QUESTIONING

 

_ pidgerino has added Allurable to the chat. _

 

**pidgerino:** continue

**balmerina:** do you see matt in your life in the next 10 years

**tshirogane:** i suppose so

**balmerina:** how

**tshirogane:** hopefully we’d still be friends at the very least if things dont work out

**balmerina:** what does that mean

**tshirogane:** if things dont work out id like to be friends with him

**balmerina:** are you afraid that something will go wrong?

**tshirogane:** im not answering that question

 

_ 8:44 _

**balmerina > tshirogane**

 

**balmerina:** why do you think things will go wrong

**tshirogane:** its complicated

**balmerina:** is it easier to tell somebody you know better like pidge?

**tshirogane:** i dont really want to tell anybody

**balmerina:** shiro you a really great guy and i dont know you as well as i know hunk. like. at all. but its my civic duty as a good somaritan to make sure you are mentally stable if i can help it

**balmerina:** and i know you cant talk to matt about it since hed get worried and that could ruin what you guys have

**balmerina:** and pidge probably isnt the best option

**balmerina:** this sounds very personal and you need to tell somebody you trust a lot though. talk it out. hear an outside opinion that is honest and not full of “its gonna be okay shiro” stuff you know?

**balmerina:** like. if im ever worried about school or if hunk and i are really making this work. especially since were so far away and all that blah blah. i always talk to my brother rax

**balmerina:** hes never afraid to tell me stuff like it sounds to him and from what he knows. hes always honest. its kind of sucky sometimes because hes not that empathetic but its nice to hear the reality of a situation

**balmerina:** do you have anybody like that? that you can talk to…? family or… anybody?

**tshirogane:** i do

**tshirogane:** i know exactly who to talk to im just not exactly sure if im gonna get an answer i like

**tshirogane:** if you understand me

**balmerina:** i do. its just nerves. anxiety but not bad anxiety just you being a pussy cat :(

**tshirogane:** yes thank you for calling my a pussy

**balmerina:** pussy cat*

**balmerina:** BUT if you know who to talk to go do it!!!

**tshirogane:** i know!!!

**balmerina:** dont mock me shirogane

**tshirogane:** im sorry

**tshirogane:** youre right i should go

**tshirogane:** vent my problems onto other human beings

**balmerina:** go talk to them!!!

**balmerina:** if they care about you they will help you no matter what! its what friends do shiro you gotta learn to trust a little more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shay is a queen if you disagree unsubscribe
> 
> THIS CHAPTER WAS 5.5 PAGES LONG!!!!!!!!! YOURE WELCOME BABIES ily
> 
> thank you for 1 year of voltorb and for giving me the strength to write 100+ chapter!!!
> 
> remember to stay saucy!! i have some TEA coming up in the next few chapters nyahaha
> 
> ILY ALL SO MUCH OH GOLLY <3 THANK YOU TYSM
> 
> ps make sure you drink water and take your meds! <3
> 
> EDIT: i have an important question  
> would anybody but interested if i wrote my vld office au?? it would not follow the meme format itd be an actual fic but i think i could multitask this!!!  
> OR would anybody be interested in rping vld office au (eyes emojis)


	101. covalent bonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tshirogane: everybody in my friend group? family? keep pressuring me to propose to matt

_ 9:19 _

**tshirogane > adamantlyblind**

 

**tshirogane:** hey

**adamantlyblind:** hi

**tshirogane:** so uh

**tshirogane:** its been a while

**adamantlyblind:** it has

**tshirogane:** and i know we dont talk at all. havent in a good while. 

**tshirogane:** but i trust you still a lot and i trust you with my anxieties if thats okay

**adamantlyblind:** need to get something off your chest?

**tshirogane:** yeah

**adamantlyblind:** are you okay?

**tshirogane:** mostly

**tshirogane:** everybody in my friend group? family? keep pressuring me to propose to matt

**adamantlyblind:** and?

**adamantlyblind:** do you not want to

**tshirogane:** i do

**tshirogane:** but im afraid of something going wrong like it did with us

**tshirogane:** i dont want to make the same mistakes again

**tshirogane:** pidge especially is going crazy trying to get us to get engaged

**tshirogane:** i want to do it right

**tshirogane:** this relationship

**tshirogane:** i mean he already broke up with me once hes probably less hesitant about doing it a second time than he would be doing it the first time

**adamantlyblind:** youre thinking logically

**adamantlyblind:** thats how matt thinks so youre just trying to think like he would

**adamantlyblind:** but consider this: love surpasses all logic

**tshirogane:** im not following you

**adamantlyblind:** are you serious shirogane? youre the one who throws logic out the window all the time this is no different

**tshirogane:** thanks

**adamantlyblind:** no problem. see. love is different. it doesnt make sense. do you even know why matt broke up with you the first time?

**tshirogane:** we were both too busy. he said it was all him but it was kind of both of us. he was busy with school and i was, well, with you

**adamantlyblind:** and now what is matt busying himself with?

**tshirogane:** work. or crazy projects

**adamantlyblind:** where does he work

**tshirogane:** planetarium

**adamantlyblind:** and where does he do his matt things. the projects?

**tshirogane:** here.

**adamantlyblind:** no. where does he do the projects?

**tshirogane:** at my house

**adamantlyblind:** where

**tshirogane:** in the living room

**adamantlyblind:** and where are you while hes working on them

**tshirogane:** in the living room

**adamantlyblind:** he broke up with you because you werent spending time together. but it sounsd to me like you two are spending plenty of time together. hes always at your house it seems

**tshirogane:** he lives here now

**adamantlyblind:** well there you go

**adamantlyblind:** he wants to be with you. he moved in with you. and last i checked matt loved his dog more than anything and he moved away from him to be with you.

**tshirogane:** yeah

**adamantlyblind:** so why are you so worried that hes gonna break up with you exactly?

**tshirogane:** i dont know

**adamantlyblind:** i say go for it

**adamantlyblind:** the worst that can happen is that he wants to wait. matts logical in that way. hell follow his heart over his head for you. hed rather say no and wait until youre both ready to get married than say yes and then be stressed out, inevitably causing your relationship to end in a nasty divorce.

**adamantlyblind:** maybe let him propose. if youre so ready, let him take the first step so that way you know hes prepared.

**adamantlyblind:** or talk to him.

**tshirogane:** about if hes ready?

**adamantlyblind:** say youre serious about the relationship and want to know what his next 5 years look like. are you in it? is he married? where does he work? find out what he sees in store for himself and if he talks a lot about you being in his life, switch the topic to more about your future together. dont just pop the question. make sure you know he wants to marry you too. dont tell him when and where youre going to propose. just be aware that youre on the same page so its still a surprise.

**tshirogane:** gosh adam what would i do without you

**adamantlyblind:** marry matt i hope

**tshirogane:** psh. other than that. where would i be in life?

**adamantlyblind:** cloud 10

**tshirogane:** sounds about right

**adamantlyblind:** now. since we cleared that up for you. would it be a bad idea for us to hang out sometime? possibly get coffee and hang out? matt can come too. we were kind of a trio for a while there.

**tshirogane:** i can start a group chat if youd like?

**tshirogane:** im doing it anyway

**adamantlyblind:** hes rubbing off on you shirogane

**tshirogane:** yknow what

**tshirogane:** im okay with that

 

_ 9:42 _

_ tshirogane has added mattack, adamantlyblind to  _ **_3 musketeers_ **

 

**tshirogane:** reunited again boys

**mattack:** boys?

**adamantlyblind:** youre changing too much to fast when did you learn to speak like the memers

**mattack:** hol up

**tshirogane:** matt its adam calm dowm

**mattack:** DOWM

**adamantlyblind:** dowm

 

_ mattack changed tshirogane ‘s name to dowm _

 

**dowm:** i hate you both

**mattack:** BET

**adamantlyblind:** math and shirt back at it again with the… nonsensical language

**mattack:** just math

**mattack:** oh my god

 

_ mattack changed their name to math. _

_ mattack changed dowm ‘s name to shirt. _

_ mattack changed adamantlyblind ‘s name to atom. _

 

**atom:** theres the matt we know and love

**shirt:** he never left?

**math:** sometimes i can still hear his voice

**atom:** were talking about you?!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment did you expect it to be adam?? who did you think it was gonna be
> 
> this chapter is posted in honour of me going to my FIRST CON ON FRIDAYYYY jeremy shada and makeout monday are gonna be there so thats why im spending the 40$ in gas to travel back and forth each night lmao....... i love mom a lot.... desirae gets me going in the morning  
> (ps, if you happen to be reading this and are attending daisho con please talk to me. ill be there as matt on saturdayyyy <3 id love to meet you idk i like friends)
> 
> next chapter is more drama than this by like 10000X so prepare urself skfksfdks it makes little to no sense but its all happening at once so... yall
> 
> PS DO YOU LIKE MY CHEMISTRY PUN BETWEEN THE TITLE AND ADAM'S NAME IN THEIR NEW GC LSJFKSDL please love me


	102. my name is inigo montoya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharpshooter: OH shit waddup
> 
> cdrom: karma is delicious bitch
> 
> Sharpshooter: I love you

_ 7:35 _

**OKAY WIG**

 

**cdrom:** HI MY PHONE BROKE but its ok i have a new one now

**LANCES bf:** shes back

**LANCES bf:** welcome to the world of the living we hate it here

**cdrom:** world of the deads not much better tbh

**LANCES bf:** interesting

**Allurable:** Everyone, we have an announcement to make

**Sharpshooter:** stop bullying

**Allurable:** Halloween was a big success, and lotor is the cutest with my cat ears headband on.

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Please allura

 

_ Allurable has sent an image _

 

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Allura

**Allurable:** deal with it

**Sharpshooter:** oh my god theyre twinning thats cute

**Sharpshooter:** wheres keith

**Allurable:** Did you two dress up as a horse and a cowboy?

**Sharpshooter:** die

**Allurable:** That’s rude.

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Good grief

**cdrom:** hello. my name is romelle. you killed my brother. prepare to die.

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** excuse me?

**cdrom:** well you didnt KILL him

**cdrom:** but

**Allurable:** Romelle?

**cdrom:** you broke my brothers leg

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** I’m sorry?

**cdrom:** last year

**cdrom:** you hit him with your car!

**Allurable:** Lotor?!

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** I don’t understand what you are talking about im sorry

**cdrom:** oh my goodness gracious youre dense!

**Allurable:** You ran somebody over?

**Sharpshooter:** ah the real lotor comes out to play huh

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** I didnt purposely hit him per se

**Allurable:** Per se?

**cdrom:** so he just ran in front of you?

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** Well

**cdrom:** allura with all due respect but hes not even acknowledging that he hit my brother with a vehicle

**Allurable:** That is very. Very. Disappointing.

**Allurable:** I want this resolved immediately.

**Sharpshooter:** haha oh shit

 

_ 8:26 _

**Allurable > leggyup**

 

**Allurable:** What did he do?

**leggyup:** hit my brother with a car?

**Allurable:** And what was the result?

**leggyup:** he broke his leg and got scraped up

**Allurable:** As for Lotor?

**leggyup:** i ran to tell my grandmother

**leggyup:** i think he drove off

**Allurable:** Didn’t help your brother?

**leggyup:** i dont remember

**leggyup:** he mightve gotten out to check if he was okay but. clearly he wasnt.

**Allurable:** I see… Thank you, Romelle.

**leggyup:** yeah no problem

 

_ 8:35 _

**Allurable > Lotor.Daibazaal**

 

**Allurable:** You drove off on a boy with a broken leg after you hit him with your car?

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** I asked if he was okay

**Allurable:** But did not consider taking him to a hospital or anything?

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** I did but he said he was okay so i drove off

**Allurable:** Did he look okay?

**Lotor.Daibazaal:** … yes

**Allurable:** Liar.

**Allurable:** After everything we’ve shared together? And I have to find out you’re a heartless heathen?

**Allurable:** I don’t want any excuses from you, stop typing.

**Allurable:** I cannot be with somebody who can’t even call an ambulance when they injure somebody.

**Allurable:** Stop typing.

**Allurable:** We are done here.

**Allurable:** We are done period.

**Allurable:** I don’t even wish to confront you in person. 

**Allurable:** Goodbye.

 

_ Allurable has blocked Lotor.Daibazaal. _

 

_ 8:43 _

**OKAY WIG**

 

_ Lotor.Daibazaal has been removed from the chat. _

 

**Sharpshooter:** OH shit waddup

**cdrom:** karma is delicious bitch

**Sharpshooter:** I love you

**cdrom:** i love you too!

**Sharpshooter:** so today keith ate laffy taffy and the almost cried because he couldnt swallow it.

**Sharpshooter:** he said “its like hard peanut butter” 

**cdrom:** what

**cdrom:** NOT EVEN ANYTHING BACK YOU ARE SWITCHING THE SUBJECT JUST LIKE THAT?!

**pidgerino:** rom youre cute but this is how lance functions

**cdrom:** oh… 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pours my tea all over the new carpet on purpose. LISTEN I ACTUALLY HATE LOTOR. I DONT LIKE HIM. AT ALL. I NEVER DID (except for that one part in s6 where he had me a little bit bc i was happy for allura). I HATE HIM GENUINELY. FIGHT ME I DONT CARE.
> 
> romelle is an angel and i have been waiting actual fucking months to use the  
> "cdrom: hello. my name is romelle. you killed my brother. prepare to die."  
> princess bride reference.
> 
> anbyway. 103 is a work in progress but... i dont know when thatll happen.  
> maybe a treat since i have almost a WHOLE WEEK off of school!! ill definitely have more time to write during that time but i also have a lot of schoolwork to do during that time (practicing, a thesis proposal, probably some theory homework, yknow. it piles up.) BUT YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I /WILL/ PROCRASTINATE THAT SHIT.
> 
> anyway 103 and more coming to a shitshow near you!!! get ready folks.
> 
> idk what ive even written so far because this story is so all over the place its fine i just hope youre having fun like i am <3
> 
> remember to drink water and remember. if youre sad. jenna marbles bought a lacefront beard and its really funny to me so if you want something to cheer you up, try watching that??? shrugs.


	103. shes a 22 year old ladyyyyy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> math: thanks for the support babe
> 
> atom: youre welcome love
> 
> shirt: um?

_ 9:04 _

**OKAY WIG**

 

**tshirogane:** well then

 

_ 9:05 _

**3 musketeers**

 

**shirt:** good news the gc is crazy and i think allura and lotor broke up so im hanging out here for a while

**atom:** a good decision really

**math:** alluras so mad

**math:** im gonna talk to her

**shirt:** matt…

**atom:** light a candle for the fallen soldier

 

_ tshirogane changed the chat name to  _ **_2 musketeers and matts corpse_ **

 

**math:** thanks for the support babe

**atom:** youre welcome love

**shirt:** um?

 

_ 9:11 _

**mattack > Allurable**

 

**mattack:** hey queen you doing okay

**Allurable:** A little disgusted with myself. I feel dirty.

**mattack:** like. need a shower dirty or

**Allurable:** I feel like I betrayed you all… Mostly Romelle.

**Allurable:** Falling for somebody who would do such a thing… how could I?

**mattack:** you didnt know tho? nobody is mad at you

**mattack:** yknow

**Allurable:** I understand.

**Allurable:** I’ll be right back, okay?

**Allurable:** I need to get some space… some professional advice too.

**Allurable:** Not a therapist. By professional I mean somebody experienced with this.

 

_ 9:16 _

**Allurable > Sharpshooter**

 

**Allurable:** Lance, do you have a minute?

**Sharpshooter:** for you? all the time in the world

 

_ Incoming call from Allurable [9:18] _

 

_ Call ended [11:46] _

 

_ 11:48 _

**plunk**

 

**Furry:** hey twinks

**Snoot:** oh my god??

**Furry:** Allura is really messed up over this whole lotor thing so uh. be gentle we love to respect a queen

**Snoot:** she talked to you?

**Furry:** we were on the phone for like 2 and a half hours man

**Furry:** keith passed out in my lap

**Scoot:** homosexuals

**Furry:** youre gay too?

**Furry:** were all gay except hunk. fucken hetero

**Scoot:** true? i think

**Snoot:** yeah

**Furry:** also. i know halloween is over. but i have a really good prank idea.

**Scoot:** im listening

**Furry:** this will be PERFECT FOR YOU arent you growing your hair out again

**Scoot:** yeah kinda. not a lot. not like it used to be before matt went to college. just a little longer…

**Snoot:** so like matts hair now?

**Scoot:** NO hes growing his out super long its kinda ugly

**Furry:** he looks hot lowkey tho

**Scoot:** stop

**Snoot:** he is attractive i will say that

**Snoot:** shiro probably loves it

**Furry:** its gotta be turning into a nice handle

**Scoot:** PELASE FALL OFF A CLIFF AND DIE EW THAT SMY BROTHER

**Snoot:** at least lance and i were on the same page

**Furry:** back to the original point

**Furry:** pidge. how long is your hair now

**Scoot:** how long do you think its been since youve seen me???

**Furry:** no clue. a couple months at least. 2 and a half months??? i think

**Scoot:** good point it has been a while

**Furry:** how long is your hair

 

_ Scoot has sent 1 image. _

 

**Snoot:** IM TREASURING THIS SELFIE FOREVER

**Furry:** ITS GOING ON MY FUCKING FRIDGE IN BOTH PLACES I RESIDE

**Snoot:** sending this to matt

**Scoot:** fuck yall i thought we were friends. you can have it but privately. and not matt.

**Scoot:** anyway what lance

**Snoot:** true what do you want

**Furry:** get a fake beard. like a really realistic one.

**Scoot:** no

**Furry:** why not

**Scoot:** i know what youre gonna do with this i know who jenna marbles is

**Scoot:** buuuuut

**Scoot:** have you texted allura this idea yet

**Furry:** allura is not having a ball right now pidge im not gonna--

**Furry:** oh my god im gonna

 

_ 12:25 _

**Sharpshooter > Allurable**

 

**Sharpshooter:** boy do i have an idea for you sister

**Allurable:** I’m listening.

**Sharpshooter:** Are you in the mood to scare the life out of Coran, Shiro, and Matt all at once?

**Allurable:** I have never been more intrigued by a sentence in my life, Lance McClain.

**Sharpshooter:** then listen up…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen that jenna marbles video gave me life so im putting the idea into this fic leave me ALONE fsfkskfds it was the funniest thing ive seen since vertically sliced bread.
> 
> also. i have some writing to do but also school work. well see which one gets done first. my goal is. to. put out a chapter a week? i think thats logical...... i wanna give you guys content to feed from
> 
> ANYWAY remember, stay safe, drink water, eat something today, take your meds and i love u stay saucy <3
> 
> EDIT: temporary hiatus because i have a 10 page english paper due in like 3 weeks or something and its hell so if i get time to write it means im not doing that. ALSO!! i put some funky little notes for the voltorb series on their ages and life statuses if youre ever lost in how old people are and who is where and whatnot. im like. creating a whoel god damn universe here and need to stop and yet


	104. bonding moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharpshooter has changed keith.k’s name to queef.

_ 12:26 _

**Sharpshooter > Allurable**

 

**Sharpshooter:** i dont know how much you know about jenna oh hell yeah marbles but im going to educate you on her recent escapade and then we are going to go out and recreate it

**Allurable:** Continue?

**Sharpshooter:** wait i forgot im not there ok were gonna facetime then

**Allurable:** I will text you.

**Sharpshooter:** deal

**Sharpshooter:** anyway jenna put this amazing like real hair fake beard on and it was the funniest thing ill send u the vid later but you need to go out to like. i dunno fucken. sally beauty. and get a fake beard and stuff

**Sharpshooter:** ITS GOTTA MATCH UR HAIR THO QUEEN

**Sharpshooter:** and a mustache too 

**Allurable:** Coran will tell me how pretty I look.

**Sharpshooter:** allura

**Sharpshooter:** i want you to go get that bread

**Sharpshooter:** INVITE SHIRO AND THE HOLT SIBS FOR SUPPER but like an elegant dinner ok tell them its fancy attire because you know coran stans

**Allurable:** He does. I will tell Pidge and she can pass the message to those heathenistic boys.

**Sharpshooter:** The princess always needs her grand entrance and thats when you come in. beard: on. duck dynasty: cancelled. shiro: probably turned on. pidge: filming

**Allurable:** Are we telling Pidge the plan?

**Sharpshooter:** nah but i do want you to tell her she needs to be recording shiro and matt and then ;) for her

**Allurable:** Ohh, so her reaction will be caught on film too but she won’t know.

**Sharpshooter:** yes now go

 

_ 1:03 _

**Allurable > pidgerino**

 

**Allurable:** Pidge, tell your brother and Shiro that the three of you are coming over for dinner tonight.

**Allurable:** Dress fancy, I want ties and skirts if you so desire.

**Allurable:** And I want you to be recording Matt and Shiro once you’re all inside and settled.

**Allurable:** Also. I have informed Matthew as well.

**pidgerino:** mattington

**pidgerino:** also

**pidgerino:** allura,

**Allurable:** ;)

**pidgerino:** gotcha

 

_ 1:06 _

**Allurable > Sharpshooter**

 

_ Allurable has sent an image _

 

**Sharpshooter:** yes queen

 

_ 1:15 _

**pidgerino > tshirogane**

 

**pidgerino:** good morning brother in law

**tshirogane:** we arent engaged

**pidgerino:** omg have u told matt were together??

**tshirogane:** pidge

**pidgerino:** were going to alluras for dinner

**pidgerino:** fancy. ties.

**pidgerino:** pick me up when youre ready

**tshirogane:** wait does matt know

**pidgerino:** yes

 

_ 2:42 _

**Allurable > Sharpshooter**

 

_ Allurable has sent 1 video _

_ Allurable has sent 3 images _

 

**Allurable:** Which one looks the best on me?

**Sharpshooter:** First of all, i stan so MCH

**Sharpshooter:** the third one. its the most white and so are you

**Allurable:** I’m black.

**Sharpshooter:** YOUR HAIR STUPID

**Allurable:** Oh.

**Allurable:** Correct.

**Sharpshooter:** receipts!

**Allurable:** Hello, Pidge? Is that you?

**Sharpshooter:** hurt

**Allurable:** Same.

**Sharpshooter:** GET THE BEARD PLS IM LEAVING

**Sharpshooter:** ilu tho too queen

**Allurable:** Hm.

 

_ 3:03 _

**OKAY WIG**

 

**LANCES bf:** so…………………….

**LANCES bf:** how is everybody today

**LANCES bf:** today lance blew milk out of his nose and ruined his homework

**cdrom:** are you

**enginerd:** WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME keith thats it im taking authority over this situation

**LANCES bf:** what

**enginerd:** youll see

**cdrom:** are we not discussing

**cdrom:** were moving on?!

**enginerd:** yeah i mean

**enginerd:** i think about it a lot too but these folk? they keep going. they like to move on and we suffer through it

**cdrom:** well then

**enginerd:** anyway

 

_ 3:12 _

_ hunkindonuts has added Sharpshooter, leggyup, keith.k to  _ **_college kids group chat_ **

 

_ Sharpshooter has changed the chat name to  _ **_young dumb broke_ **

 

**hunkindonuts:** thanks

**Sharpshooter:** im not done

 

_ Sharpshooter has changed hunkindonuts ‘s name to hunkalicious _

_ Sharpshooter has changed leggyup ‘s name to rome eel _

 

**rome eel:** rome ……………. eel

**Sharpshooter:** yes

**keith.k:** what about me

**Sharpshooter:** i would never forget about you

 

_ Sharpshooter has changed keith.k’s name to queef. _

 

**queef:** Lance Anton McClain

**Sharpshooter:** Queef Oliver Kogane

**hunkalicious:** hunk!

**rome eel:** what is wrong with you people?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i always come back to my roots
> 
> the idea of a group chat where keiths name is queef is the reason this all got started. it only felt right to return home.
> 
> i told you guys id update more often but when do i ever fill my plot holes honestly? never. thats when. good luck getting me to update this fic in a timely fashion EVER SDFJS
> 
> anyway uh. i will be updating more FOR SURE in like 3 weeks from now beCAUSE............ in 2 weeks im getting surgery and ill basically be on bed rest for a whole week. which means a lot of writing time. 
> 
> tldr: drink water, take your meds, ill never update when i say so, get a good night of sleep, queef, make sure you eat something today, i love u


	105. new year same bullshit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidgerino: YOU FELL ASLEEP HALFWAY THROUGH THE SECOND ONE AND WOKE UP TOWARD THE END OF THE THIRD
> 
> Allurable: Old man…
> 
> Sharpshooter: it was fucking insane he thought he slept through an entire movie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just in case anybody is losing track, here's an updated list of the names in the big group chat as of this current chapter!!:
> 
> shiro: tshirogane  
> keith: LANCES bf  
> lance: Sharpshooter  
> hunk: enginerd  
> pidge: pidgerino  
> allura: Allurable  
> romelle: cdrom  
> shay: balmerina  
> matt: mattress

_ 10:36 _

**OKAY WIG**

 

**balmerina:** happy new year merry christmas that was an awkward silence huh

**Allurable:** I’m quite surprised that we weren’t all raving in the group chat.

**tshirogane:** thats because we all constantly skype called when we were able to

**Sharpshooter:** dead ass me shiro/matt pidge and hunk were on a call for 11 hours straight

**tshirogane:** how many movies did we watch?

**pidgerino:** 3

**tshirogane:** only 3?

**pidgerino:** YOU FELL ASLEEP HALFWAY THROUGH THE SECOND ONE AND WOKE UP TOWARD THE END OF THE THIRD

**Allurable:** Old man…

**Sharpshooter:** it was fucking insane he thought he slept through an entire movie

**enginerd:** it was hilarious

**enginerd:** matt slapped him like twice before he just accepted that he was wrong

**pidgerino:** i loved seeing that happen

**Sharpshooter:** you said kinky and then turned off your webcam for 4 minutes

**pidgerino:** they know where i live what do you expect me to do

**Allurable:** Anyway…

**Allurable:** Happy New Year, everybody

**Sharpshooter:** TIS A NEW  YEAR

**mattress:** new year same bullshit?

**Sharpshooter:** new year same shit as always

**pidgerino:** amen

**enginerd:** the meme teme strikes again

**cdrom:** we should all come up with a resolution

**Sharpshooter:** WE SHOULD THATS TEA we can shit on each other when we break them and stuff

**tshirogane:** romelle, that’s a fantastic idea

**tshirogane:** who already has a resolution

**pidgerino:** my resolution is to not make a resolution thus i break the space time continuum with my paradoxical and hypocritical statement and use impeccably long words to confuse the vast majority of the messaging populous

**Sharpshooter:** okay well i hate that next

**tshirogane:** come on pidge

**Allurable:** I’ll go first.

**Allurable:** Until the last person shares, we are strictly stating out own resolution, not commenting on other people’s.

**Allurable:** Personally, I would like to spend more time doing things for myself. I talk about self care a lot, but I admit I’m not the best at following my own advice.

**enginerd:** i want to, uh. explore things im interested in and not feel ashamed about it? photography intrigues me a bit

**mattress:** i wanna eat better and im declaring that to be pidge’s too because we once went 4 days on various chips and soda and that was IT

**LANCES bf:** id like to do better in school

**tshirogane:** i want a real job if i can. maybe in teaching. put my degree to use.

**balmerina:** i want to draw more! i hardly do it now but i love art so much

**cdrom:** i want to hang out with friends more! its been a while since ive had a night out.

**Sharpshooter:** well. i wanna spend more time with my family. i only went home one during the semester for thanksgiving just because shiro picked keith up. and i miss em

**Allurable:** My heart… Lance that’s so genuine.

**Sharpshooter:** oh and brush my teeth

**Allurable:** Ew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes its short  
> yes i know  
> yes i wish i had the motivation to pump out a longer one right now
> 
> BUT ANYWAY! i had surgery. im recovering nicely but im stuck in ace bandages for another 2 weeks which i hate but its okay. im on break for a couple more weeks still and ill have plenty of time to write. 
> 
> comment down below what you thought of season 8 because im like the 3% who enjoyed it and im sad about that :(  
> i really like curtis and also matts haircut is very cute i love him so much and YES hes gonna get his hair chopped in the fic you are all gonna hate me if u dont like his new hair

**Author's Note:**

> i love bandwagon and voltron so why not both?
> 
> if you have things u wanna see in this pls tell me i dont want this fic to die like /every other fic ever/
> 
> i love you all have a good day


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